Dear Friend, Nothing left to do now, but vent. And I don't really know how, or where to start. I guess, this'll have to do. I've started blogging because I don't have anywhere else to go with these thoughts. So let me take you back a couple of years. I had a big crush, and this is risky, letting it out onto the web, but here goes. This crush was on a family friend, Robert. First you must know, that I'm a very quiet person. I'm a very, strange person. Clinically, I think there's probably some undiagnosed shit going on up there, but I've always been a bit of an outcast. He was the opposite, despite my being an outcast, grades and teachers and other established, and authority figures opinions have been important to me. Once again, he was the opposite. He wasn't very bright, he got into trouble all the time, but he was my best friend. And I was in love. Up until just over a year ago, I was in love. And I knew it, and it hurt. Because he went out with other girls, but always told me I was his number one. I was his best friend. I was the most important person in the world to him. There were so many times, where something would happen between the two of us. I'd known him since I was born. My earliest memory, is probably a New Year's Eve, I was little. And all the grown ups were counting down, and Robert took me away from the crowd, he told me to come upstairs. And I said why? And the little boy with the god awful bowl haircut, who I loved more than my little heart could handle told me that we were hiding. From the grown ups, because, when they get to one, they kiss. And after about two years, he had figured out how to get out of it. So we waited, and I remember wanting to kiss him. Even though I was so small. And I think our parents knew, even then, how I felt. I'm gonna stop this post right here, it's a lot to write, and I should space it out. Love SJ
