Trans People Are TIRED of Hearing About Their Genitals
by Audria LB
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Transcript:
NATHANIEL NAOMI: I decided for the first time while I was working there to actually like decide to wear a dress to work. Like an hour after being there at work, you know, someone from HR just came and got me, and they fired me.
AUDRIA: Uh, "Trans People Are Tired of Hearing About Their Genitals..."
NATHANIEL/NAOMI: Yes we are!
Trans antagonism can sound like this.
ANDI DIER: Trans women are in men's prisons, and what have you done for them?
ROSE MCGOWAN: What have you done for women?
ANDI DIER: Lots of things!
ROSE MCGOWAN: I've done lots of things too, you don't know my life. Now sit down.
And it can sound like this.
KESHA: But I just can’t date a date with a vag! [record scratch]
And it can be really harmful when it looks like this.
CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE: So when people talk about, you know, "are trans women women?" My feeling is trans women are trans women. It's difficult for me to accept that then we can equate your experience with the experience of a woman who has lived from the beginning in the world as a woman, and who has not been accorded those privileges that- that men are.
But sometimes we can encounter trans antagonism from medical professionals.
AHOMARI: I have this new doctor; I remember she was asking me like what surgeries I've had. And I was like, "Oh, I may have had a surgery when I was like an infant on my genitals." And she was like, "oh... so, like, what *are* you?"
PARKER: I was binding a lot, and I ended up bruising two ribs, so I went to the hospital because I couldn't breathe. And I told them, like I wear a chest binder every day, and I've been wearing it for over this many hours that I should have worn it. This woman just keeps like going over and over, and she's like, "Well so... you- you're a girl, right? You're a girl? No, I'm not! And I don't understand what that has to do with the fact that I can't breathe!
Even as our society has become more familiar with the idea of transgender people, there's still a lot of hurtful ignorance which can lead to micro- and macroaggressive behaviors about our identities, appearances, and yes, our genitals.
KATIE COURIC: Your... private parts are different now, aren't they?
CARMEN CARRERA: Shhhhhhhhh... I don't wanna talk about it, because it's- it's really personal.
We also come up against trans antagonism from potential sexual or romantic partners.
AUDRIA: I've had guys on Grindr who like, maybe this just comes with the territory, but like the first words out of their mouth to me are, "do you have a dick?"
AHOMARI: They'd be like "can you send a picture?" They didn't mean like a picture of like, ooh, me and my face... it's a picture of my genitals.
We deal with trans antagonism at our jobs.
PARKER: There was this guy who is older, he's in his 60s. And they had changed my name in the system, but he was still working there before. He began asking questions about, you know, "Oh, so do you still have tits?" Asking about, you know, if I have a vagina and all this, and he's like a 60-year old man!
And we encounter trans antagonism in our everyday lives.
NATHANIEL NAOMI: So I went in like, in the store, and so I was like looking around at like the skirts and the dresses. The guy behind the counter, he's like, "Oh so are you like buying something for your mom?" And I was like, "Ummmmmm, yeah..."
So to cis people who want to be better allies to trans people, I have three pieces of advice. One: use our pronouns. Two: do your research. And three: call out trans antagonism when you see and hear it.
LAVERNE COX: The preoccupation with transition and with surgery objectifies trans people and then we don't get to really deal with the real lived experiences. The reality of trans people's lives is that, so often we are targets of violence. We experience discrimination disproportionately to the rest of the community.
And to cis people in general, we have an even simpler piece of advice...
ALL: Stop asking us about our genitals.