OMG imagine this all of bonten doing the slim pickings trend if you don’t know what that is it’s basically a guy lifting a girl (normally that’s I’ll I’ve seen of this trend sorry!)
On this shoulder and flexing that basically that they can carry their girl on their shoulder 😭😩🤤
Anyways I just imagine ❤️ Kakucho ❤️ lifting us then like all of bonten wants to prove they can do it too 🫡 ugh it hurts to even think about 😖
anyways just random thought sorry it’s so long I think I had a heart attack when I thought of this
have a good day/night pookie 💋😘🙈
Anonie, idk if I got you but I’ll see what Bonten does. LET ME TELL YOU THAT I SUFFERED /J. AHSJSKS I DONT KNOW TIKTOK JAHSKSQ IM SORRY Gosh… I can’t write serious or wholesome stuff 🤧 it’s always me and my broken sense of humor.
Slim Pickings || Bonten x Reader 1.9k+ words
cw: body image, TikTok trend, nonsense, cringe… like hundred percent logging off-phone throwing-gagging worthy cringe. constant state of chaos. not edited.
“What are you two doing?” The question came from Takeomi who just stepped into your living room to see Kakucho with you sitting on his shoulder, parading you around as both laughed and smiled.
“A TikTok trend,” you answered casually.
But before Takeomi could ask more questions, the rest of Bonten began to pop into the room.
“it’s rude to stand in the entrance,” Sanzu intentionally bumped shoulders with Takeomi. Which only gained him a tired sigh from the older man.
“We heard music!” Rindou pointed out, casually strolling in.
“And your laughter,” Ran added, walking behind him brother.
After Bonten’s three menaces made their way in, silently Mikey accompanied by Kokonoi and Mochi decided to join the crowd. The shorter man curiously peeked at your form perched on his number three..
Questions began to rain on you once they saw your phone propped up on the table with more than one video of Kakucho lifting you.
“So you just lift me and place me on your shoulders,” you explained in detail to the group of men staring at your phone screen. “Yeah, like that. See?”
“We do that on a daily basis,” pointed out Ran, not really getting where this was going.
“Yeah, we see Rindou flexing his biceps at least four times a day.” Added Sanzu, snickering with his phone out scrolling through some other videos and seeing a bunch of guys just showing off.
“This shit’s easy,” huffed Rindou, ignoring the previous comment but at the same time watching Sanzu’s screen over his shoulder.
“Then it shouldn’t be a problem, right?” You rolled your eyes at the lack of initiative on their part. Although, you could guess jealousy had a part in that. They seemed bitter that your attention was solely on Kakucho.
You couldn’t have been more wrong with your statement. Bonten was not made for TikTok fame… but you didn’t know it at that time.
─────── · · ·
To see who went first they decided to draw straws… online…
You stood with Kakucho there waiting until everyone got their phones out and went to the page Rindou had shared. Lifting an eyebrow, you saw they had taken this more seriously than you had expected. Oh, yeah… they had banned Kakucho from this round.
Then you heard a groan and a bunch of hyenas laughing. First one to go? it was Kokono… and things didn’t go as planned.
“Okay, ready?” You asked a bit worried since he didn’t seem too eager to be on camera.
“Why do I have to go first?” Koko’s voice cracked a bit at the end, “you’re not posting this, right?”
A bunch of boos from the public followed Koko’s question, and by the public you mean Rindou, Ran and Sanzu. You tried to reassure him it would be alright but the damage to his pride was already done.
Once Koko’s hands were on your hips something in your gut told you that doom was imminent. He had lifted you with ease but as soon as your butt hit his shoulder, the man let out a loud whine. Somehow—someway, your zipper had gotten stuck on his silver hair. Thus, pulling it as he moved you.
“Ah! My hair! My hair!!” Koko’s desperate screams just got most of the group cracking up.
“Oh shut— ack!” You tried to stay as calm as possible, “I’m sorry!” Your eyes turned to the snickering bunch. “It’s not funny!” You held onto Koko’s head for dear life as Rindou and Sanzu avoided your gaze. The latter turned around to keep chuckling.
With his second sigh of the day, Takeomi walked towards you two, pulling Kakucho along.
“How is that this always happens to you two,” Takeomi said, trying to untangle your zipper from Koko’s hair as Kakucho steadied you on the silver-haired man’s shoulder.
After all was done, Kokonoi sat begrudgingly on the furthest sofa with a side of his long silver hair tangled in a thick mass. You smiled apologetically at him.
─────── · · ·
With a triumphant look, Rindou stood ready.
He was feeling confident after Kokonoi’s failure, but he might have gone a bit too hard… the moment he lifted you off the floor, you went flying towards the hanging lights. Thus, hitting you in the back of your head.
Everyone panicked meanwhile Mochi went for an ice pack.
It was chaos, as always—Kakucho to the rescue, he snatched you straight away from Rindou’s shoulder just in time to see Sanzu tackling the youngest Haitani. Then Ran and Takeomi began to scold the pair scuffling on the floor.
Even Mikey joined in, silently hitting Rindou in the same spot that the lamp had smacked you. Bonten’s leader walked away and kept mumbling words about how careless one could be. “An eye for an eye, Haitani.”
Just then, Mochi had walked back in to the room with an ice pack, but seeing the current situation he handed Takeomi the ice pack and went back to get a couple more.
─────── · · ·
After a prolonged discussion about safety, you suggested continuing outside which would have been fine if two people hadn’t begged you for a favor.
Ran was already smirking at you, ready to hoist you up and show the two previous failures how it was done.
And he did just that. At the count of three, you were already sitting on Ran’s shoulder. His grip was unwavering and the biggest shit-eating grin he could muster.
“Why do you always make it weird…” you mumbled once you saw Rindou visibly upset at his loss in this match.
“It’s not, though.” Ran pretended to flick a lint off his shirt, looking straight at the camera now.
It’s then that you remember the words from a certain pair—a pink and a silver head already signaling for you to take action. To keep the peace, both Haitani had to fail… miserably…
So with a deep breath, you loudly shouted something you knew Ran wouldn’t ignore. “Is that a bald spot?!” You even put a finger on his scalp to emphasize.
It happened so fast. One second you were in the air and the next you had been set down on the grass and the oldest Haitani went running to the nearest bathroom, Rindou not far behind. Not a words came out of anyone’s mouth. Meanwhile Sanzu and Koko gave you a thumbs up.
The peace had been kept. Your TikTok project began to feel more complicated than you thought it would be.
─────── · · ·
Nobody was worried about Mikey, they all knew he could easily pick you up, but Mother Nature had other plans.
“Stop laughing,” you grumbled, “it’s not that funny.”
“I’m sorry, sweetcheeks… it is…” Sanzu wheezed almost out of breath from laughing the whole day. “Mikey went straight for your pussy!”
Yes, when it was Mikey’s turn he had almost dropped you because a bee flew to his face and to his credit, he did catch you just as quick but the death-like grip went to your crotch. Which had you squealing and the clowns around you couldn’t stop laughing since then. Even Mochi and Takeomi had chuckled at the whole show.
“Haru, shut up!” You hissed, “Look! He’s sulking already!” At the sight of a brooding Mikey, everyone just went quiet. That sobered Snazu up real quick.
The Haitani brothers had just come back outside, but seeing the grey clouds on everyone’s heads they decided to slowly and carefully go back inside.
With Mikey not being in the mood anymore, the TikTok filming had to stop. Mochi and Sanzu were sad to not get a chance to try.
“Another day,” you weakly replied.
Takeomi felt a sense of relief. He wasn’t sure his back would agree today. He had lifted you before, but it was a gamble and with how everyone’s luck had been today? He didn’t wanna risk it.
─────── · · ·
Later that day, everyone was just sitting around the living room, back to where it all began. It was as normal as it could possibly get.
Most of them were on their phones, although you suspected some of them had the early videos on repeat. Sanzu and kept showing Mochi something and both just kept chuckling. Kokonoi kept checking something about the stock market and grumbling at his screen, angrily typing nonstop. Takeomi was doing the newspaper crossword puzzle and kept asking Ran some of the modern-day stuff he didn’t get. Kakucho had been in the kitchen for a while, and finally, Rindou and Mikey playing thumb fights.
Normalcy… how unusual.
“It’s actually nice… you know?” You interrupted the abnormal calmness surrounding you. “I’m in no way a flimsy thing and you all always move me around like I weigh nothing,” you voiced out your thoughts. You were laying on the couch, just thinking, truth spilling without meaning to, but alas it was out.
“The hell you mean?” Sanzu instantly snapped, throwing his phone to Mochizuki who barely had time to catch it. Bonten’s number two walked up to your resting spot and climbed on top of you. “I hope you don’t mean what I think you mean.”
“Haru…” Your wide eyes stared up at Sanzu, pink hair falling like curtains around your face.
His visceral reaction was like the spark that ignited the rest. Soon you heard the scraping sound of chairs being pulled. The lonely couch was now crowded with a bunch of angry men.
“Move,” Rindou growled as he pulled Sanzu away from you, almost throwing him off the couch. “What do you mean by that?” Now it was the youngest Haitani staring down at you with furrowed brows, and questioning your early statement. “Earlier? I almost sent you to a different fucking orbit.”
They all in their own way tried to make you understand—see what they see.
“Even Koko here can pick you up!” Ran added.
“Yeah,” Koko agreed but then realized the implications, “wait what are you trying to say?!”
Ah, this was more…normal… you giggled at the chaos that erupted around you. From the kitchen walked out Kakucho with a fresh baked bowl of cookies. Mikey didn’t have to be told twice, from the smell alone he knew what it was and took some for himself.
“Heard the commotion,” Kakucho sat next to your head on the couch, “how many times do we have to tell you that’s not important? You see us complain? No, right?” he didn’t let you answer as a cookie was already stuffed in your mouth.
“You have to see us fight to get even a second longer with you. That should tell you how much we want you,” Takeomi noted, pointing towards the Haitanis going against Sanzu and Koko a couple of feet away.
“This is why social media is hazardous,” Mochi announced, holding a cookie between his fingers.
“Body imag—” began Takeomi but he was cut short.
“It’s nothing. You’re just old.” Sanzu rebuked, interrupting his older brother just to spite him. forgotten was Rinodu who went to back up Ran.
The Akashi brothers continued on their intense debate, Mochi adding his opinion here and there as Kakucho kept feeding you and Mikey cookies.
Warnings: Sitcome 😌, crackfic, semi-nakedness, suggestive, humor, possessiveness 👀, nonsense xD, doe gets a confidence boost, Senju. Not edited, no beta.
A/N: I’m trying a new format for long answers :D
“Are you sure about this?” you asked, thinking of the many different ways this could go wrong.
“Yeah, it will be fine, don't worry,” she showed you a reassuring smile that didn't help much in soothing your nerves.
“Senju, I don’t know,” Why was it so hard? Her brother had seen you in less, “what if Sanzu doesn’t like… something?”
“See? You don’t even know what he wouldn’t like because you know he loves you,” the truth was simple. Still, you had a weird feeling about this.
“But-”
“No buts! Go! Peace offering, go!” and off you were, with a task in mind. To convince Sanzu to spend some family time with his siblings.
As you walked into the Bonten building, you ignored a minor detail. The issue wasn’t going to be Sanzu not liking the surprise Senju was sending him, but if the surprise even arrives at its destiny. Because as soon as a pair of purple orbs saw your legs cross the entrance, his pants tightened.
Rindou forgot what he was doing downstairs; something about retrieving important paperwork. That didn’t matter right now, though; your bare legs and high heels… Rindou followed you like a moth to a flame. It took him less than a minute to reach you; after all, Rindou did run to you, not giving a single fuck if someone saw a Bonten executive running like a mad man.
You never saw Rindou coming, but you felt his grip on your elbow, turning you around and…
“Rindou, no!” You clapped your hand on his lips, knowing full well that if he kissed you now, you wouldn’t be able to find Sanzu. Taking advantage of the surprise your action caused him, you freed your elbow and ran towards the elevator as fast as you could master with high heels on.
“Y/N, come back here!” Rindou was chasing you, and by miracle, someone held the elevator’s doors open for you. Just before the youngest Haitani could reach you, the elevator’s doors closed on his face. Rindou was left banging on the metal doors.
“Why were you running away from Rindou?” A familiar rough voice made you jump; cursing under your breath, you spun around, and there he stood in all his naked-chest-glory, Kakucho.
As you were about to answer, you noticed his cheeks reddening, and his eye skimmed through your body. “What-” a cold breeze hit your exposed abdomen, and you could guess what made Kakucho blush. You suspected the fast movement from the chase resulted in the belt loosening and, well, this. “To be fair, you’re always shirtless,” you said as you gave your back to him and tried to fix your... outfit.
Giving your back? Wrong move. “That explains Rindou’s maniac chase,” two large hands held yours, stopping your movements, “I take this isn't meant for him, then,” Kakucho’s left hand went inside the coat, sensing the heat of his palm on your stomach your body recoiled in hopes of getting some distance from his scalding touch. Your back hit his hard chest, and you knew that if you didn't stop him right now, you'd end up being split open against the elevator’s cold metal walls. Kakucho could lift you so effortlessly—cock so deep....
“Stop, stop, stop,” you didn't know if you said that to yourself or the wandering hands under your coat, “this is not for you either,” you said, prying off his hands and fastly fastening your belt. You felt him deflate behind you. Thinking about it, giving your back was a good idea because you knew that behind you stood a sad puppy-looking Kakucho, and as soon as you saw his pleading face, you would break.
“Lucky bastard,” even if you two weren't doing anything, Kakucho didn't move an inch away from you; he wouldn’t touch but good it was hard to stay away knowing what lays under that coat. And just before he could say anything else, the doors opened, revealing a busy-looking Kokonoi, scanning some thin notebook and... Ran? Was that Ran behind that pile of papers?
“Are we interrupting?” Kokonoi said as he looked up.
“No...” of course, he didn't believe that. Not when Kakucho was practically cornering you in an empty elevator. The latter, looking very flustered.
“Don’t care, Koko, get the fuck in,” Ran practically groaned from the weight of the documents he was carrying, “fucking Rindou, disappearing, leaving me with all-” Ran kept cursing at his brother as he and Kokonoi stepped in.
“Stop that elevator!” you froze; you knew where that scream came from, or more like from whom it came from. You peeked outside of the metal door and saw a disheveled-looking Rindou who seemed to have taken the emergency stairs of the building, and he saw your head pop out of the machine, “Y/N!!! I wanna see what’s under that coat!!!!”
Seeing Rindou approach you like a maniac, crazed look on, you shivered and frantically bolted inside. Your finger continuously smashed the closing-door button on the panel, and once again, metal doors met the younger haitani’s nose.
“Do I wanna know?” asked Kokonoi.
“Probably no,” Kakucho responded.
“Well, I do,” Ran wanted to see what his brother meant, “Kakucho, hold the papers for a second.”
“Kaku-chan! Do not hold the papers!” you whirled around, knowing how the eldest Haitani would react. Kakucho stood in the middle of you and Ran, bickering back and forth. Ran’s head was barely visible from the side of the tower of papers.
“Ran, for the last time, no!” You said.
“What are you? His owner?” Ran countered.
“Yes!” you said without thinking, fueled by the heat of the discussion, “And yours! And yours too!” You pointed at Kokonoi and Ran. Three men were shocked. If you looked closer, you could have seen steam scaping their ears. Brains had shut down.
“Ah fuck, you can’t say something like that... Out of nowhere,” Kakucho looked up, taking big gulps of air, trying to calm his heart. Kokonoi retracted to a corner; he was agitated, cheeks red, pulse-quickening.
Ran Haitani could no longer take it. Letting go of the big pile of documents, he stalked up to you. Papers flew everywhere in the elevator; in any normal circumstances, Kokonoi would have scolded Ran, but he, too, was curious. And the latter could not get out of the earlier revelation; your voice still resonated in his head.
The little confidence you had fled as soon as you held eye contact with purple orbs. Mischief sparkled in Ran’s eyes; you looked like a deer caught in headlights—big doe eyes looking at the menace of a man in front of you.
And for the last time today, metal doors saved your ass from a Haitani. They opened, and you flew out. Never in your life had you thought you would be running in only a coat and underwear in a million-dollar building. Ran followed after you.
Kokonoi and Kakucho glanced at each other, and they simultaneously exited the elevator, chasing after you too.
“What is under the coat?” Asked Kokonoi, already on Ran’s heels.
“Lace underwear!” Kakucho’s voice reached not only Kokonoi but Ran too. The eldest Haitani roared at the new information, frustration filling his gut; he was so close to you back in the elevator.
The perk of being the boss is that nobody questions their actions, even when stampeding after someone. And the same applied to you, the one who is dating them, all of them.
You couldn't run like this; the heels were killing you; they weren't meant to be used in a high-speed pursuit. In a flash, you took them off and without thinking, a common action of yours lately, you threw them at the closes man, Ran.
“Don’t throw your shoes at me!” screamed the eldest Haitani
“Stop chasing me then!” You retorted, internally wishing for a way out of this predicament. Sanzu better say yes.
Salvation comes in many different forms. In your case, in the form of Kanji Mochizuki, who was standing in the middle of the hall, minding his own business. The big man saw your panicked face and the three men running after you. No words were exchanged; there was no need. Mochi knew you needed help, so he charged after your pursuers.
Kakucho stopped dead in his tracks, perceiving the outcome if they clashed, but a new body joined in his place. Rindou had caught up. That didn't change Mochi’s objective. The next thing he did, left you speechless. You couldn't believe how Mochi seized the three men. Ran, Rindou, and Kokonoi in the middle; the three were tackled by Mochi; four bodies hit the ground, and Kakucho stood there watching as the men he worked with for so long were wrestling on the floor.
“Mochi, let me go!!” Screamed Kokonoi, his white-silver hair was a mess, some covering Ran’s face and Rindou pulling it as the latter tried to push Mochi.
“I’m sorry!” You shouted, not looking back as you turned a corner, making your way towards the emergency stairs.
Only two floors left, and you would reach Sanzu’s office. Why the hell was Sanzu in his office, he rarely stayed there, and just when you needed him the most, the pinknette had to be on the last floor.
“Fucking Sanzu,” you wanted nothing more than to rest. Why did this day seem to be so complicated?
“Language,” the sudden voice behind you made you stumble, barely holding on to the handrails.
“Takeomi? Oh my god, I almost passed out,” the man carried a cigarette, standing near the railings was the eldest Akashi sibling, “aren’t there areas for smoking in the building?” you pointed out.
“Here is more... peaceful,” or it used to be because as soon as Takeomi said that, you heard Rindou scream your name, “I’m gonna guess this has something to do with Senju’s plan?” You nodded, “go, I’ll distract him,” Takeomi gave one lass drag to his cigarette before dropping the white cylinder—his expensive shoe stepping on it. Takeomi knew the younger haitani had an advantage, but he wasn't looking for a win; Takeomi just needed to give you time.
“Thank you!!” and off you were once again.
It took you less than you expected to reach your destination. Almost making the door fly off its hinges, you saw Sanzu sitting on his desk, literally on the table, “Sanzu!!” your hands flew towards your belt, “Sanzu!” Barefoot, you quickened your pace.
“Y/N?” the pinknette was happy to see you, but what were you doing? “Sweetcheeks, what’s wrong? Weren't you with Senju to-” Sanzu was cut short; he couldn't mutter a single word after he saw what was inside your coat. This was unprecedented; you were always so... shy... but this was good, this was more than good. Was he dreaming?
“Just take your peace offering before any of the others do,” you tossed the coat away, walking in as if you owned the place; in a way, you did own it. You owned them.
Sanzu kept blinking, not believing you just walked in, throwing your clothes, lace underwear on, only for him. He was sure he hadn’t taken any pills today; hallucinations were impossible. You were walking too fast; his reaction was too slow.
“So?” you felt a pinch of uncertainty; was it too much? Did Sanzu not like it? “Sanzu!?” You poked his shoulder, and it was like you flipped a switch; in a blink of an eye, your back hit the surface of the desk, blue eyes swirled with desire.
“Couldn't you have waited after the meeting?” The pink-haired man breathed in your neck, hands roaming your exposed figure.
-
“Can someone explain what’s going on?” Mikey asked, looking around at his executives. The scheduled meeting was not going as he had planned. Nobody was paying attention to anything. Kokonoi’s hair was a mess, Takeomi held a pack of ice on his left eye, Ran and Mochi seemed to be in the middle of a staredown, Kakucho had Rindou tied down, and... “Why is Y/N in her underwear on Sanzu’s lap?!”
“Told you I should have kept the coat!” you smacked Sanzu’s chest.
“No, I like to show you off,” Sanzu was proudly nestling you in his arms—big hands pressing you against him.
“Stop squeezing her ass!” Rindou groaned in irritation.
“No,” Sanzu smirked, smacking your ass. A yelp left your lip; The pinknette was digging his own grave. Death was a pretty decent future by the looks the rest of the men were throwing his way.
Fun Facts!
- Kakucho was coming behind Rindou, and Takeomi asked for his help. The deal was that he also gets invited to the Akashi’s family time because apparently, you were going too.
- Mikey did not like that Sanzu had a special gift. He was pouting like a child.
- Mikey was not amazed by Kakucho having Rindou tied up. That was the most normal of it all.
- Mochi felt bad for Kokonoi but not about the Haitani brothers. He would seek revenge. Not to mention that Rindou escaped him.
- Senju didn't get a response from Sanzu, which was, in a sense, a yes in her eyes.
- Kokonoi demanded to go shopping with you. He wanted to buy more lace... Everyone agreed.
