Today's translation #1001
Yuri!!! on FESTIVAL
Part 1.
Yuuri: En~'ya en~'ya! Ah, so nostalgic! I haven't been on a festival for a long time!
Victor: Amazing! Wow, so this is Hasetsu-kun-chi?
Y: Victor, 'Hasetsu Kunchi'. If you say 'Hasetsu-kun-chi' it sounds like you mean 'Hasetsu-kun's place'. On Kyushu, 'kunchi' means 'festival'. [It's a joke about Japanese language intonation]
V: Yuuri, Yuuri!! Look, look! A lot of sumo wrestlers there!
Y: They are not sumo wrestlers. They wear 'fundoshi'. Fundoshi is well... How to explain it? You can say, it's an official costume for a festival. Hasetsu Kunchi style is a happi worn over white underwear.
V: Woah! I like fundoshi!
Y: Ughh…
V: Something's wrong?
Y: No, it's just… Hangover.
V: Hahaha, you were amazing last night! I've never thought you would do something like that…
Y: Have I done something again…?
V: You don't remember? Last night, you know? You…
Y: Stop, stop, stop! Don't tell me. Sometimes not knowing makes you a happier person.
Y: "Hasetsu Exihibition ~Onsen on ICE~ Victor with Friends" was a huge success, but I drank too much, again… Well, as usual, but… Huh? Speaking about that… Where are 'with friends'?
Yurio: Waaaaa! So fucking cool!!
Y: Yurio!
Yurio: So-so fucking cool, Hasetsu-kun-chi!!!
Y: What you just said means 'Hasetsu-kun's place is really cool'.
V: What kind of festival Hasetsu Kunchi is?
Y: It's a festival to thank for harvests.
V: So it's a harvest festival!
Yurio: Oi! What's that over there?! Looks like those vehicles in Mad Max: Fury Road!!!
Y: Those are called 'hikiyama', it's a dashi… Ah, I have no idea… How I should explain this to foreigners...?
Yurio: So fucking cool!
Y: Hikiyama have various shapes, and each one has a story behind it!
V: Is that enormous squid over there that men ride on also a hikiyama?
Y: Yes, that one is called 'Ankoku Ika Aramitama'
Yurio: Ankoku… Ika… Aramitama… Dark… Squid… Wild… Heart.
Y: It's an old story, but the Squid tried to destroy the whole world once.
Yurio: A squid...? How could a squid possibly destroy the whole world!? Can a squid destroy the whole world?!
Y: It sprayed everything with it's squid darkness ink.
Yurio: For real!? A fucking cool squid!
Y: They say that this is the origin of Hasetsu Kunchi - to calm the Squid down, people sung and danced, trying to appeal, appeal and appeal to the Squid to calm it down, and that's how they saved the world. Well, it's like a story for kids.
V: Wow! Saving the world by appealing to a squid sounds very innovative! Maybe we should make it your new Short Program, Yuuri? This year it will be a squid dance in fundoshi!
Y: Squid dance in fundoshi would get me expelled from the skating world on top of getting minus points.
Yurio: Squid dance in fundoshi? Isn't that what shit-faced Shitcutlet [Kusokatsu] was doing last night? Together with his dad…
Y: I don't want to be a human any longer…
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<Chris' monologue>
En~'ya en~'ya!
So this is Hasetsu Kunchi, yeah? I love festivals! Woah! Traditional Japanese Thong! Exciting! It has the potential to make the ice all wet… I came all the way here to visit Hasetsu, so it seems to be worth trying on… Where can I try it on? Let's ask that man over there, wearing Traditional Japanese Thong.
Ah, excuse me? I want to be your… your… fundoshi. When it's okay for you? [He wanted to say: I want to put on your fundoshi. Is it alright?]
Oh, he seems surprised… That caused quite a stir… Probably my Japanese wasn't right.
If that's the case, let's show them this… [shows a picture in a Japanese book] yes!! I wanna try... fundoshi!! Ah, he got it now! Yes, the same! Ah! Now is the time, when I can put the fundoshi on… Ah! So this is fundoshi… Freedom and danger combined together… I pretty like it.
Oh? Are you going to let me climb on this Kabuto shrine? Is it really okay? Woah! Fantastic!
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Yuuri: Where is everyone? Even Yurio disappeared…
Victor: It's so interesting how Hasetsu Kunchi has so many types of hikiyamas. How many is there?
Y: Let me think… In total, there is 14. They say that in the past there were 15 of them, but one is gone now. The one that disappeared is 'Ame no Chihoko-nushi Ogami'.
V: Chihoko…?!
Y: ...nushi Ogami. If I remember correctly it's a deity that has a power over good harvest, marriage, harmonious family life and love.
V: ...is it a female deity?
Y: Nope, Ame no Chihoko-nushi Ogami doesn't have a gender. It's a deity that gives love to all living beings and it's called the highest of all deities.
V: Why did it disappear?
Y: It was long ago, so what exactly happened is unknown… Some say that it burned in a fire that broke out, some say that Ankoku Ika Aramitama killed it. The legend has it that when the world is once again filled to the brim with love, it will come back to us.
V: Love, hmm?
Y: Ah Victor, look! A hikiyama comes this way! That one is Shuten-dōji and kabuto helmet hikiyama… Wait, what is that? …isn't it like... wet? Who's over there, on top of it...?
V: Oh look at it, it's topped by an Eros, that I've seen somewhere before!
Y: Extreme Eros is oozing from it…! Isn't it… Chris?! He's getting lifted up, on top of the helmet. It's a difficult position, with pose change… He wants to get level 4 for that!
Chris: Oh? Isn't it Victor and Yuuri over there?
Y: Stop getting down from portable shrines in slow-motion triple salchows.
Chris: How do you like it? My Traditional Japanese Thong?
Y: How to put it... It really stands out, because Chris is the only one with a body of an athlete… in other words, Chris' Eros is impressive…
Chris: I'm thinking about making it my costume for next season.
Y: I think it's against the rules and will cost you 15 points deduction.
Chris: Ah, right... So what about an exhibition program? I can skate with Victor, as a pair…
V: Good idea! Fundoshi Bomb!
Chis: I and Victor will make the ice all wet with our Fundoshi Bomb.
Y: No, no, no, no. I absolutely don't allow for this to happen. Making ice wet isn't a good idea!
V: We also should join Chris and change to Hasetsu Kunchi style, Yuri? We are on a Festival right now! It's boring if there are people who don't participate… Participating in a festival is a very meaningful thing to do. Yuuuri... Yuuuri…!
Y: Even if you show me this cute face of yours, the answer is still no. I think I told you that I have a hangover and I don't feel that good?
Victor＆Chis: En~'ya! En~ya!
Y: I'm not changing to Kunchi style, absolutely not! Absolutely I'm not changing.
[Note: That's the first part out of three! The next parts will come in the near future~✨
Can you guess why Yuuri doesn't want to change to fundoshi?
It's transcribed by me from you know where hihi🤫 I highly recommend listening to it, especially to Chris... It's ultra funny.
✨✨Watashi wa... Anata no... Anata no... Fundoshi... ni... naritai.✨✨]