⋰˚☆ russell x reader | smut, fluff | 3.8k
⋰˚☆ where it's that time of the month, and your cramps are being anything but kind to you. luckily, russell thinks he has a solution.
⋰˚☆ content: fem!reader, established relationship, smut, in the bath together, fingering, reader is on her period but russell doesn’t care, pet names (sweetheart, baby, sweet girl, my girl, pretty girl, angel), praise, russell taking care of reader
a/n: maybe i wrote this for myself bc i fear my hormones are acting up bc of my period rn. also this is my first time writing any smut so please be kind 😭
whenever that time of the month rolled around for you, it was always a struggle.
debilitating pain in every possible place you could imagine. if it wasn’t cramps, it was a migraine. and if it wasn’t pain, your emotions were up and down like a goddamn yo-yo.
there never seemed to be a solution for you. other than your boyfriend always making you feel cared for, even if he found it hard to show it at times.
russell was a little rough around the edges. wasn’t great at the whole showing affection thing at the start, but he grew into it. just about.
learned what kind of love you needed. how he could show he cared without going too far for his standards. whatever it was, you still always knew he did care deeply for you.
especially during your period.
russell didn’t entirely get it at first. he just thought he could throw some painkillers at you, find a movie to distract you from the pain.
until, you sat down with him, explained how bad it was for you, how it made you feel. and then he was a lot more sympathetic and understanding.
he wanted to do all he could to support you from that point on. from checking what snacks helped, to figuring out that you wanted comfort from him most of all.
that was no different today.
day one of your period. the worst pain day. aching hips, cramps in your lower abdomen and back that seemed to radiate to your legs. it was days like this you haven’t been able to move much at all, laying in bed for the majority of it.
as if on cue, a gentle knock at the door to your apartment. a double knock. followed by a quieter single knock. classic russell so you knew it was him.
ever so slowly, you wandered out of your bedroom, down the hall, and to the front door. the lock clicked as you twisted it, eventually pulling the door open.
russell stood there, small bag in hand, “hey, sweetheart,” hesitant look on his face. “uh, you said it was bad so…”
he held the bag up, moving inside as you let him, closing the door right behind him. he was surprised when you didn’t greet him, but you were peering inside the bag in the next second.
“bedroom, please,” you groaned quietly as another cramp hit.
“don’t gotta ask me twice—“
you interrupted, eyes rolling, “shut up, russell.”
“not the time, got it,” he scratched the back of his neck. “uh, c’mon, let’s get you laid down.”
he ushered you back to your room, hand hovering against the small of your back the whole way down the hall.
once inside, he pulled your blankets back, puffed up your pillows, and helped you get into a comfortable position. slightly on your side, not entirely on your back, head rested near the top of your pillow with your blankets covering half of your legs.
he sat down beside you after, leaning back against the headboard before pulling you to rest your head in his lap instead of on your pillows.
the warmth of him was comforting, his hands combing through your hair, steady breathing being felt just behind you. it was a big contrast from how horrible you felt dealing with the pain alone earlier in the day.
“still hurting?” his voice was almost a whisper.
“never stops,” you shuffle slightly, curling into yourself more, a pained sound following.
“shh, shh,” his thumb stroked your cheek. “my strong girl, putting up with this shit every month, huh?”
you hummed quietly, glancing up at him in the process. this was what you needed, to feel like you were being cared for, as much as the pain was all you could focus on. russell always knew what to say to make things better.
a few minutes passed, he reached for the bag of snacks he brought with him, placing a few chocolate bars and cookie packets in front of him.
“there’s some chocolate, the ones you said you liked,” he looked down at you. “and triple chocolate chip cookies. thought you might like ‘em.”
“don’t wanna eat,” you grumbled.
an unfamiliar answer. you were always hungry for snacks. especially chocolate. he almost didn’t know what to say. but he knew the pain must be really bad this time for it to be too much to eat your favourite chocolate.
“can i get you something else?” he wanted to be useful here. “painkillers, your heating pad, some tea?”
“i don’t know, russ,” your hands covered your face as you took a shaky breath, voice breaking as tears welled up.
he felt bad, he really did. if he could banish the pain in an instant, he would. didn’t understand why nothing ever worked for you as things did for some others. it wasn’t fair.
he glanced around the room, considered if there were any other options to distract you, take the pain away, at least get you through this first terrible day of pain.
and then it hit.
“how ‘bout i run you a nice, warm bath?” he suggested. “how’s that sound, sweetheart?”
you removed your hands, eyes meeting his, “a bath?”
a small nod, “i’ll put your favourite soaps in, the ones that make you all flowery,” he laughed softly. “can light a couple candles, keep the lights low. that might help a little too.”
“yea,” you murmured.
“yea?” he brushed your hair back, shuffling to get up, cautiously laying your head back on your pillow. “i’ll go get it sorted, be back when it’s all ready.”
you hummed quietly in response, russell pressing a kiss to your forehead before leaving the room. it wasn’t long before you heard the water in your bathroom running, him getting things all set up.
you didn’t take baths often, more of a shower person usually. but, maybe he was right. the warm water and relaxing might help your cramps more than just laying here.
he strolled back into your room a couple of minutes later, not telling you it was ready, making his way over to your drawers. he grabbed a fresh pair of your underwear, and then back to the bathroom again as if he’d done this a million times.
unexpectedly, you heard the ripping of a wrapper. one of your pads? what was he— oh, he was putting a fresh pad on a clean pair of underwear for after you take a bath. you were surprised he knew what he was doing.
“alright, sweetheart,” his voice carried to the bedroom, him appearing a second later. “bath’s all ready.”
russell helped you to sit up, held your hand to get you stood, and walked you down the hall to your bathroom.
the bath was filled with bubbles, the smell of flowers surrounding the room just as he’d said he’d do.
it was dark, no bright lights. just the warm glow of a few candles. he’d set them up in one corner, one was your ocean scented candle, another lavender scented to keep you relaxed, and the last one a strong vanilla scent. all your favourites.
a quiet sigh left your lips, “russ, this is— it’s great,” you leaned against him. “thank you, baby.”
“don’t gotta thank me,” he gave a soft one armed squeeze, moving to stand in front of you after. “now, arms up, sweet girl, gotta get you nice and relaxed.”
following as asked, your arms lifted, russell pulling your shirt over your head. it revealed no bra, but he didn’t focus on that, it’s not like he hadn’t ever seen you naked before.
this was about you, your comfort, so he immediately moved to untie your sweatpants, pulling them down your legs with your underwear. helping you to balance as you stepped out.
finally, you moved to the bath. your hand in his as you stepped one foot into the warm water, already calming at the feeling. he kept hold of you until you were sat down and comfortable, seeing a smile on your face.
“yea?” he crouched down beside the tub. “that better?”
“much better.”
you closed your eyes, giving yourself a moment to get used to this feeling, the first time today that you’ve felt something other than just pain.
russell was being so quiet now, that you didn’t hear what he was doing. which is why it was such a shock to you when you felt him pushing you forwards gently as he stepped in behind you.
“oh, you’re—“ you glanced back at him. “okay.”
“i can leave,” he paused, standing there. “sorry— shoulda asked, my bad.”
you shook your head, “no, stay,” he slowly sat. “i can lean on you.”
“yea, i’m just the guy you lean against, that’s all.”
you quietly laughed, shaking your head at him. he got comfortable behind you, legs either side of yours, his hands going to your shoulders to pull you to lean back against his chest.
“there,” he waited until he felt you relax further. “you just rest, i’ve gotcha.”
russell’s arms went around your waist, hugging you against him as you took a few deep breaths, trying to focus more on this rather than the pain still radiating through you.
it was much better, in the security of his arms. you were safe, comfortable, he made you feel warm not only from the water but just because you knew he cared.
he knew the pain was still there, felt your body tense every time a more severe cramp hit somewhere. you tried to keep your reactions minimum, wanted to be calm, have at least a little time feeling better. but you were becoming restless already.
“hey,” russell leaned forwards, voice a whisper. “just breathe, take a nice deep breath for me.”
without responding, you took that breath, feeling russell’s hands moving to rest against your hips. thumbs stroking gentle circles to help you focus.
he reached further, thumbs digging into the soft skin just below your stomach to massage softly, “how’s that feel?”
“a little better,” you mumbled.
he shook his head. a little relief wasn’t good enough. he wanted that pain gone. even if it was only for a while. warm bath isn’t completely helping, pressure on your stomach isn’t either.
well, to him, there was only one final option.
his thumbs stopped their movement, one hand moving to rest on your thigh, the other squeezing softly as he spread your legs further, not too much to make any pain worse, but enough to give him space.
“russ,” you gripped his wrist, glancing back. “i don’t— not while i’m— it’s gross.”
“nothin’ gross about a period, sweetheart,” he reassured. “ain’t bothering me in the slightest.”
your grip loosened, “are you sure?”
he was surprised you were asking, “just want you pain free,” he kissed your cheek. “let me get you relaxed, properly, see if it helps more.”
russell waited, didn’t make a move until you were certain. after thinking about it, you let out a sigh, letting go of his wrist, your hands resting against your stomach.
“okay.”
“okay?” he repeated. “you tell me if you wanna stop or if it makes anything feel worse, alright?”
a nod from you, body leaning back against him again, head resting against his shoulder. his hand slipped lower in the water, settling between your legs, unmoving at first.
he starts slow, fingers moving in circles ever so gently above where you want him, testing the waters to make sure you’re not too sensitive at this time of the month. the last thing he wanted was to overwhelm you.
when he got no bad reactions, he moved lower. fingers slipping through your folds, finding it easy to move with the added water all around you.
his fingers dragged back up, slowly, not to torture, just to be sure. you suck in a breath once you felt the pressure you needed against your clit, a shiver travelling through your body at the feeling.
“you okay?” russell kissed your jaw, fingers stilling. “need to know how you’re doing, sweetheart.”
“keep going,” you spread your legs a touch more. “please.”
a laugh left him, “not gonna make you beg for it,” he reassured. “i know you need this.”
you would’ve responded, but the pads of his fingers were already resuming their motions. slow, gentle circles, pulling quiet breaths from your lips. body melting back against him more, the exact reaction he’d been waiting for.
“yea, there you go,” you could hear the smirk in his voice. “just feel it, baby.”
easing you into every sensation, he continues with only light touches for a while, enjoying the way you relaxed, the small breathy noises you let out while he kissed your neck down to your shoulder.
a finger slowly moved down, finding where he was looking for before pushing in with ease. your breath caught, hand reaching for his, grasping as you felt the curl before he found just the right spot.
“russ—“ your voice was more of a whimper.
“it’s okay,” a quiet reassurance as he added a second finger. “i’ve got you, my sweet girl, just feel.”
and you did. head tipping back against his shoulder, the pain almost completely subsided. he wasn’t being the usual russell either, nothing too fast, not rough. all soft and slow, hitting the exact spots you needed to give you some relief.
he pulled his fingers in and out, almost the whole way before reaching as deep as he could, wanting to hit your sweet spot with every motion.
your face said it all, jaw lax, eyes glazing over, those sweet like sugar noises leaving you with every bit of pleasure that he brought to you.
and god, did he love it. loved that he was one who got to do this, got to help relieve the pain, to let you feel pleasure that good that you seemed to forget how to speak.
“baby— oh,” there it was. that moan he’d been waiting for.
“right there?” his fingers stayed deep, curling back and fourth to only get that spot. “that feel good, sweetheart?”
“uh-huh,” a nod.
“words,” he doubled his efforts, moving faster, slightly harder. “need words, pretty girl, tell me how i’m making you feel.”
“good,” your eyes closed. “s’good— fuck.”
his free hand trailed up your side, moving back to your hair. combing softly, brushing it behind your ear before gathering it up in his palm to tug your head further back.
he kissed your shoulder, lips on your neck, at your sweet spot before hovering right next to your ear.
“you feel better, hm?” he was quiet, just above a whisper. “knew exactly what my girl needed, didn’t i?”
you tried to speak, you really did. but that hot, pleasurable feeling flowed through your whole body. pain long forgotten about, the only thought being russell. the way he moved, how in tuned he was with your body, always knowing what you needed before you could say anything.
your walls fluttered around his fingers, he felt it as clear as day. the way you start clenching just before reaching that highest point. the feeling of pure pleasure, a little like heaven when it was caused by him.
“almost there,” he released your hair, wrapped his arm around your stomach to hold you back against him. “gonna be a good girl and come for me, hm? can you do that, sweetheart?”
“yea,” it was a whine. “gonna— hm, gonna come for you.”
then, the usual russell came out. that urge to be in control, the dominant side of him that was always there, even now.
“for who?” his fingers slowed, missing that good spot by a tiny amount.
you pushed against him, hips rolling back against his fingers on their own accord, so close to finishing.
“you— shit, you, russ,” you squeezed his hand, almost in rhythm with your walls closing around his fingers tight. “always you, only you, russ— please.”
hearing you loud and clear, he leaned forwards, capturing your lips in a hard, deep kiss. almost like a claim, as if you weren’t already his. thumb connecting with your clit one more time, knowing it would get you there. adding to the overall feeling, felt it before you did.
“go on, baby,” he hummed in your ear. “come for me, let me feel it.”
your back arched against him, his arm loosening slightly. that hot, tingling feeling filling you from head to toe, exactly what you needed and he knew it, hearing your breath coming out in pants.
he kept moving, fingers thrusting in and out, starting to slow as he worked you through your climax. only keeping the pleasure going for as long as you could handle.
your hand was tight around his, holding on hard while you let all of the feelings flow though you. floating up to that high, a place russell knew you’d be for a while after this.
“that’s it, atta girl,” he soothed, waiting for your body to relax again before stopping his movements completely. “i’ve got you, you’re okay.”
a deep breath left your lips, head falling back against his shoulder again. he cautiously removed his fingers from you, resting his hand on top of your thigh. a soft kiss was pressed to your cheek, him looking over you, making sure you were okay.
he didn’t miss what looked like tears bunched in the corners of your eyes though. something that didn’t happen often when something like this went on between the two of you. he was surprised, shuffling to look at you more side on.
“hey, hey, it’s okay, i’m here,” he cupped your cheek, thumb caressing softly. “look at me, angel.”
you blinked a couple times, sniffling quietly. but, there was a smile in there, lip quivering, followed by an embarrassed laugh.
“sorry i— i don’t know what’s happening,” you shook your head, leaning into his grip.
a couple of tears dropping down, al these feelings at one time. from the worst pain, to the best pleasure. it was a lot to cope with for you.
“that’s okay, you don’t gotta understand it,” he smiled back. “probably just a mix of all those built up emotions.”
you nodded, knowing he was right. knew you were just a tad overwhelmed with all of those period hormones, now with the pleasure from him on top.
he pressed a soft kiss to your lips, pulling you to lean sideways against him, his arms wrapping around you in a hug. you settled there, breathing calming, body still shaking from the high you’d just been on.
russell waited a while, until he knew you were okay. no crying, no more overwhelm, and he started to move to sit more upright, pushing you up with him.
“gonna get out, okay?” he warned. “get you all sorted for bed.”
you sat there, watched as he climbed out, grabbed one of the towels to dry himself off with and wrap around his waist.
then his full focus was back on you, reaching out to take your hands, he helped you stand up, step out onto the towel laid on the floor before wrapping a towel around your body to get you dried off.
he ushered you to your bedroom, sitting you down on your bed before doing anything further.
russell grabbed your clean underwear, covered in the pad he added earlier, slipped them on over your legs, helping you to get comfortable. once you were, he found one of his shirts that you’d kept here previously, removing your towel to replace it with the top.
“you want your hair tied back?” he asked, already finding a hair tie on your dresser. “normally sleep with it up, don’t you?”
“m’okay,” you mumbled, already moving back on your bed.
he nodded, “i’ll go change, be right back, sweetheart.”
it didn’t take him long, discarding of the towel, pulling his boxers and sweatpants back on from earlier, rushing to get back to your room to make sure you weren’t starting to be in pain again.
you were laid on your side in bed by the time he came back, looking at him with tired eyes, threatening to close any second. though, slightly teary still. maybe more tired than anything now.
“isn’t it early for bed?” you asked as he switched your main light off, just leaving the warm glow of the lamp beside your bed.
he climbed in beside you, glancing at the time, “doesn’t matter,” he shrugged. “you’re tired now, so we’re going to bed.”
you managed a sleepy smile, holding your arms out as if to ask for hugs. russell was already moving that way, pulling you into his arms as soon as he’d laid down. your head on his chest, one leg hooked over his hips to bear hug him.
he kissed the top of your head, taking in the scent of your flowery bath soaps, “hm, you smell good.”
“you smell like me,” you giggled quietly.
“yea, well,” he rolled his eyes playfully. “just glad i could help you feel better for a while, baby.”
you agreed, going quiet again. small worry rising in russell’s chest, leaning to try and get another look at you before thinking about turing any final lights off.
“sure you’re okay?” he needed to check.
“think m’just tired,” it was honest, a yawn following.
“get some sleep,” his voice lowered. “i’ll be here if you need anything, or if the pain comes back.”
you took a deep breath, hand resting on his chest as your eyes closed. you felt warm, comforted, even more so than before. you always did when russell held you like this.
sleep already started to take over, the tiredness the pain had caused, mixed with the feelings russell let you have not long ago all blending together.
“love you, russell,” you mumbled sleepily.
he ran his hand through your hair, bringing more relaxation to you. that feeling almost sending you straight off to sleep. your breathing already evening out.
“love you, my sweet baby,” he replied, even if you couldn’t hear him as sleep took over.
for a while, he laid there, awake, watching you as you drifted deeper. making sure you would stay in a steady sleep, settled enough with him like this so that you’d get enough rest after a day of terrible pain.
he was happy. happy he could let you get some relief for a while. happy now that you were truly at peace. no pain, tired enough to start catching up on the rest you’d missed out on the night before, caused by your cramps.
once he knew you wouldn’t wake up any time soon, he shuffled slightly, getting more comfortable, keeping you exactly where you were.
he reached for your hand on his chest, bringing it to his lips to kiss the back gently. not wanting to move you too much to disturb you from your much needed slumber.
his voice almost silent, “goodnight, sweetheart.” he reached to turn off your lamp, finally sending the room into darkness.
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Summary: Colter Shaw x fe!Reader -> Colter gets kidnapped on a job, and you're there when he's found.
Disclaimer: Mentions of weapons, descriptions of kidnapping and a car crash, blood, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, co-workers/friends to lovers, happy ending, shorter fic.
It wasn’t meant to be like this. It was meant to be a quick job, searching for a missing local girl who seemingly went into hiding after photographing the wrong people on a job.
Instead, from the moment Colter had called you asking for your help, things hadn’t been adding up.
In a daze, you mustered enough energy to unclip your seatbelt and push the truck door open. The engine was smoking, oil was leaking out into the rain covered road and Colter…was missing.
“Colter?”
You searched around the truck, finding nothing but glass and traces of blood in the driver’s seat. “Colter?”
You were getting worried, feeling the usual tight feeling in your chest. Only, this time you couldn’t stop it from growing. “Colter?!”
Out in the road, you saw deep tracks, skid marks and muddy grass spilled across the road a little further up, along with a growing trail of blood.
Pulling out your phone, you tried to see through your fuzzy vision. Finding his contact, you started calling. It went straight to voice mail; six times.
“Colter?!”
An hour later, his truck was surrounded by cops and CSU and Reenie was standing beside you as a doctor cleaned you up at the hospital whilst the Police Chief took your statement.
The case was a lot bigger than any of you put together. And now Colter was missing. Possibly dead.
“You can’t think like that,” Reenie told you. “Colter…he’s a smart man. He’s a survivor."
“Reenie,” you started crying. “I’m so scared.”
Reenie felt your fear in her heart and with a comforting sigh, she dropped her case bag and hugged you. “It’ll be okay. He’ll be okay.”
It was three days before you found Colter.
Every lead seemed like a dead-end, until in a sleepless 3-am deep dive, you found something different in the photographs. Waking Randy, you asked him to zoom in closer.
“Hey, Reenie told me the diner manager saw you yesterday,” Randy said in a sleepy but worried voice. “Have you been sleeping?”
“I’ll rest easier when I find Colter. Now, can you please just look?”
When he found it, you thanked him before attempting to hang up.
“Wait. Look,” Randy sighed. “I care about Colter as much as the rest of his friends, but if there’s one thing I know, it’s that he wouldn’t want you to be like this. He’d want you to try and…get some rest, at least. Drink something other than 4 am stale coffee.”
“Thank you, Randy. I’ve gotta go.”
Police had swarmed an old abandoned hunter’s cabin. Due to your injuries, the Police Chief and Reenie had stood you down from joining the raid.
And with no complete guarantee that Colter wasn’t…Reenie didn’t want you to be the first to see it.
Only, it seemed Colter had managed to find his own way out.
The sound of the police raising their guns had your head turning to the bright direct lights down the small worn path. All the police say was the guy raising a hand-gun.
You saw Colter.
“Stand down! Stand down! Weapons down!” You shouted before pushing through the crowd.
Reenie tried to pull you back but you were too quick, dipping under the barrier to get to him.
“Colter?!”
He was in a lot of pain, and bleeding. And, scared.
“Y/n?”
You felt yourself breath properly for the first time in three days. “Colter.”
Throwing the gun down and into the grass, he tried to hurry to get to you quicker, but you were already running to him.
The minute you reached him, you hugged him as tight as you could, crying and almost sobbing into his neck and shoulder.
“You’re okay?” Colter asked you, fear still in his voice.
You moved back, but didn’t let him out of your grasp. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay,” you sniffed. “Are you okay? What happened? What’s broken?”
“Uh, a couple ribs, I think. I re-set my nose.” Colter tried to name the rest, but you stopped him.
“You’re getting checked out. Come on.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Laying his arm over your shoulder, you helped him the rest of the way, the paramedics meeting you half way with a bed.
“I’m sorry I scared you,” Colter told you as he breathed through the pain in order to get onto the bed.
“I’m just glad you’re safe.”
“I’m glad you’re safe, too.” Colter laid his hand on the side of your face, holding your hair gently.
“Are you riding with him?” One of the paramedics asked. You nodded before following behind them.
Once Colter was set up in the hospital and recovering from surgery, you barely left his side. Reenie came by every couple of days in between client meetings to ensure Colter was looked after and that you actually went home to get a decent shower and decent food.
But the only decent sleep you got was when Colter would tug at your hand to bring you to his side in the bed.
“Whatcha’ reading?”
Looking up from your kindle, you looked at Colter. He was looking healthier. You’d overheard the nurses at the station; they might be able to discharge him in the next day or two.
“People We Meet on Vacation, by Emily Henry.”
“Sounds interesting.”
You nodded. “I’ve read it before. Two friends go on vacation one week out of the year and fall in love over, like, ten years.”
Colter chuckle. “So, like you and me? Just…less vacations.”
“And less near death experiences,” you pointed out. “Unless you count Poppy’s flu that she gets before Norway.”
Colter chuckled again, running his fingers through your hair as you lay beside him. “Read it to me?”
You tried to hide your smile. “Colter Shaw wants me to read him a romance book?”
He shrugged. “I’ve been meaning to expand my literary genres. And…I prefer Audiobooks. Especially ones that come from you.”
Hiding your smile on his shoulder, you settled beside him and started reading.
Summary: When you meet a gorgeous green-eyed stranger at a bar and agree to go home with him, everything goes off the rails and you're strapped in for the ride.
Word Count: 10.6 K (But You'll Laugh The Whole Time)
Warnings: An Unhinged Game of "Hear Me Out," References to Sex, Sexual innuendo, Little bit of self-deprecating thought (reader), Reader is kinda awkward and clumsy, Gunfire, Weapons, Talk of Murder, Shooting?, Brief Description of Torture, Brief Description of Murder, Terror, Fear, Cursing, Kissing, I think that's everything? I promise this one is a rom-com despite all the warnings. 😅
Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is no use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!
Internal monologue is in italics and is in first person.
Main Masterlist
Prompt Celebration Masterlist
A/N: Hey guys! This is another wonderful prompt request that I got for my prompt celebration from the enchanting @vixaaa! This one is based a little bit on the movies "Knight and Day" and "RED." If you've never seen either of those, go and watch them right now. They are some of my favorites!
P.S: Yes, this is the one I've been writing that has just been making me wheeze/cackle laugh the whole time I wrote it...
“Alright, hear me out… Gil, the angelfish from Finding Nemo. There is no way in hell he was made for kids.” Your friend Liza says wobbling slightly on the plush leather bench seat of the booth before taking a shot of vodka. Her peacock blue No. 2 hair shimmers like a beacon in the dimly lit bar.
“That’s low hanging fruit.” Kay snorts from your left while leaning heavily into your shoulder, the smell of her vanilla perfume wafting up with the movement. “That scar? The tragic backstory? And voiced by Wilem Defoe? Sign me up.”
You giggle into the shot glass clasped in your hand before you knock it back, face scrunching at the taste and pleasant burn.
The “Hear Me Out” drinking game your two best friends proposed to clear your head from the nuclear level bombing of an exam you just took in your Physics One class, had been successful so far. You couldn’t remember any of the questions from the test that made you scream obscenities into the strawberry shaped pillows on the couch in your living room earlier. Exactly where the two of them had found you when they got back to your shared apartment at the end of the day.
The live music in the crowded bar thrummed through your veins and the shots were giving you just the right amount of buzz to feel more carefree than you had in the past week. The week that you’d spent approximately one million hours studying for the test and trying to memorize all the formulas that looked exactly the same.
Four times you’d fallen asleep on your computer and had the imprint of the keyboard on your cheek, three times you’d had a mental breakdown and decided to change your major promising yourself that you were sure you could make it doing freelance whatever the fuck sounded good at that moment, and you couldn’t count the number of times that you’d gone to the library to study only to get distracted by whatever else was better than studying for a physics test.
Spoiler alert, there are a lot of things that are.
But you knew you were screwed the second you saw the first question and the rest of them had only been the final nails in the coffin that was the dream of getting an “A” in the class before the semester was over.
The glimmering sheen of hope at the end of the semester you once had, was ebbing to a dim lantern being swung by a lighthouse keeper in a hurricane, hence the large tray of vodka sitting prettily on the water ringed table in front of you.
You were sure to regret every single shot, but your next exam was two days away and you didn’t want to think about it yet, not when the shadow of the last was poking you in the back with a pencil like someone looking for your final piece of gum.
For a Tuesday night, Duke’s, the bar the three of you frequented so often that the rotating circle of bartenders knew you all by name, was crowded.
There was the familiar glow of the neon signs posted on every wall, a new band performing a set on the small stage in the corner, a collection of screaming girls in the front row of the crowd snapping photos and drooling over the base player, a group of frat guys shouting obscenities at a tv blasting a football game, and a few patrons trying to unwind from a long day while nursing multi colored drinks and sitting sporadically around the crowded bar while the bartender of the hour leaned against the counter and tried to hear orders people shouted over the din.
You would have been more than happy to spend the evening on the couch eating a greasy pizza and drinking margaritas back at the apartment, but Kay and Liza refused to let you rot on the couch.
The three of you had been inseparable since freshman year when you’d been assigned as roommates together. Liza was an art major hoping to illustrate book covers one day, Kay was a hardworking pre-med student, and you were… undecided. Physics 1 had been the idea of your advisor, who after a year of trying to get you to declare a major was close to throwing in the towel, you believed that he was using Physics 1 as a form of payback for driving him almost to the point of early retirement.
“Okay, okay I see you.” Kay giggles, before grabbing a fresh shot. Her long black hair is pulled back from her face with a claw clip, but a few pieces bob around her head with the movement of her head to the music. “And I raise you Kerchak from Tarzan!”
“The daddy gorilla?” Liza asks, leaning into her fiance, Matt, where he lounges back against the faded maroon leather beside her.
There was a half full glass of beer sitting in front of him, one he’d ordered when he found out what everyone else at your table was drinking. But he’d been a good sport so far despite all of his suggestions to the game being so obvious there was no reason for him to defend his choice and the rest of you mocking him endlessly for it.
“Sweetie, he could be my daddy any day of the week.” Kay winks and throws back her shot.
“You’re disgusting.” Liza rolls her eyes, refusing to take a shot to agree with Kay.
“Hey! What happened to ‘we listen and we don’t judge?’” You interrupt, putting your arm around Kay who holds up a middle finger in answer to Liza’s taunt.
“Where was that when I said Jessica Rabbit two turns ago?” Matt grouses from his side of the table, crossing his large arms over his chest. His blond hair had tumbled out of the bun at the back of his neck to cover the grass stain on the collar of his jersey. He’d come straight from practice when Liza called.
And then Kay and you had to suffer through the long make out session the two of them had when they reunited as if they’d been separated by war for fifty years and not two hours. They were recently engaged and you loved Matt, which is why you’d let them make out for exactly thirty seconds before Kay and you started making exaggerated gagging noises while they kissed.
Kay’s boyfriend hadn’t been able to get out of work, but Kay was going to walk to the coffee shop inside the library to pick him up when the tray of shots in the center of the table sat empty. Usually you’d worry about that sort of thing, your friend walking alone on campus at night, but because Kay had the highest tolerance out of all of you, Matt included, and a total badass who welcomed the challenge of anyone who tried to test her, you were willing to let it slide.
That and the three of you tracked each other’s location with your phones.
“Because Jessica Rabbit isn’t a hear me out! Everyone knows that she’s super sexy!” You argue. “She doesn’t fit the criteria of this game!”
“She’s right babe.” Liza says, squeezing his arm with a sympathetic smile. “But it’s okay. I love that you’re a basic bitch.”
“But she’s animated!” Matt exclaims, obviously confused.
“So? Flynn Ryder is animated and he’s every woman’s dream.” You shrug, picking up a glass to take your turn.
You begin to shuffle through the mental file folder you have on characters who possessed “the energy” that made them so attractive. Truthfully, Kay and Liza had already said most of the ones you were thinking.
“You want to talk about every woman’s dream?” Kay smirks, her eyes flick over to the bar. “Check out green eyes over there. Holy shit, I’d let him rock me like a hurricane all day and all night!”
“I’ll be sure to tell Sean, your boyfriend of three years-” You begin to say, but Kay pinches your cheeks between her fingers and turns your head so you can see who she’s talking about.
Oh.
The stranger sitting at the bar is everything she suggested and more. He’s the kind of handsome that didn’t exist outside of the stack of communal romance novels that sat on the bookshelf in your living room and served as the perfect reminder of how single you were.
The man is taller and broader than any of the so-called boys you went to class with each day, his tight fitting dark t-shirt pulling up over muscular arms that rippled with taunt muscles and were decorated with smoky tattoos curling beneath the ink colored sleeves. His chocolate colored hair is long and pushed back over his head, but a few strands hang forward to frame a well defined jaw covered in a thick dusting of facial hair.
Your throat suddenly gets very tight.
The man’s gaze is focused on you, the green of his eyes brilliant, crinkled just around the edges with his smile. He winks and your entire face takes on the identity of a strawberry with your flush.
“Holy shit!” Kay nudges you. “You have to go over there.”
“What?” You squeak. “Are you insane? That guy is-”
“The kind of man who would make you forget all about that physics test?” Liza raises an eyebrow.
“The kind of man who would break the laws of physics with you all night long?” Kay adds. “Babe, come on, it's been months for you. Why don’t you go over there and say hi?”
“No way.” You shake your head vehemently, hyperventilating a little bit at the thought of going up to a complete stranger.
You were not the confident girl in the group that did that. Kay was. It was exactly how she had met her boyfriend Sean three years ago, by using a cheesy pick up line that made him snort so hard he had beer coming out of his nose. Liza wasn’t much better. She’d met Matt in this very bar when her heel broke and she stumbled into where he was sitting with his friends at the bar.
And the truth was it had been a few months since the last relationship (if you could call it that) fizzled out… and with both of your friends in relationships you often were the awkward fifth wheel. It wasn’t that you didn’t like your friends' boyfriends, Matt and Sean were great and they always did their best to make you feel comfortable whenever you were out with everyone, but you were kinda tired of being the spare tire.
“I don’t think we should be encouraging her to go off somewhere with a random man from a bar that she just met.” Matt says with a frown.
Matt often held the braincell in your friend group and was the one who was more focused on making sure that everyone was safe. He was the one who followed up with a text whenever someone left to go home, the one who made sure that everyone stayed together when you were out late, and was usually the designated driver.
“You’re such a hypocrite.” Liza boops Matt on the nose. “You were a random man that I’d never met before. And if I’m not mistaken we met in this very bar.”
“That’s different.” Matt sighs, but he leans towards Liza, the tension dissipating from his shoulders as he looks at her and his frown slips into a smile.
They were one of those couples that no one ever thought would work. Liza was the carefree art major with no plan in the world and Matt was the All American, blue-eyed, blond haired football player that everyone said was “going to do great things” when in reality all Matt wanted to be was Liza’s husband. He didn’t care about anything else, but making her happy. Hence the giant engagement ring on her finger, the same one that he’d let her design because he knew that was important to her.
They were everything you wanted in your own relationship. A beautiful merging of crazy (from you) with someone stable and structured, preferably someone with a strong jaw, brilliant green eyes and-
Great, he’s already invaded my subconscious.
You glance up again to see if the stranger is still looking. He is, but this time his smile is just a little wider, and you watch his eyes drag down the length of your body for a moment appreciatively before flicking back up to yours and catches you doing the same thing.
You weren’t wearing anything revealing, in fact, you hadn’t bothered dressing up to go out because you didn’t feel like it. You were still wearing the blank sweatpants and oversized sweatshirt combo that you’d worn to your exam.
When you caught him looking at you, it made you regret you hadn’t worn something more eye-catching.
“Come on, that guy is checking you out! Go over there.” Kay nudges you, jostling the forgotten tequila shot in your hand.
“He looks like trouble.” Matt says half-heartedly, but he’s too busy staring into Liza’s eyes to really care. Her hands are entwined at the back of his head pulling his forehead down to hers.
When it got to that point of the night, it usually meant that the two of them were about fifteen seconds from calling it an early night and going back to Matt’s apartment. Technically Kay would probably end up there as well because Sean was now Matt’s roommate and that meant you’d have the apartment to yourself…
“How can you tell? Are you looking at his reflection in Liza’s eyes?” Kay takes a shot from the collection of the remaining few in front of her.
“We all know that if Sean was here, you’d already be practicing your scuba breathing.” Liza gently brushes back the few strands of blond hair that hang forward into Matt’s face which only makes him sigh softly and look at her like she’s the last woman on earth.
You try not to be jealous.
Kay only rolls her eyes. “Alright, I’m taking initiative.”
“What does that mean?” You begin to ask, but Kay shoves you out of the booth and towards the handsome stranger who hasn’t taken his eyes off of you since your eyes met moments ago.
“Kay. What the hell?” You turn back to look at her, but she’s already holding up your forgotten shot.
“Take this and go over there.”
“But-”
“The only butt you should be thinking about is his, in those deliciously tight jeans. You will thank me in the morning.” She refuses to budge. “And then come home and tell me everything the two of you did, because Sean’s about to go visit his family for a week and I will need something to fantasize about.”
You wrinkle your nose in disgust, but then look to Liza hoping for help. Unfortunately she’s too busy counting Matt’s eyelashes to defend you. You look back at Kay who is still holding up the shot, gaze unwavering.
I can’t believe I’m about to do this.
You think to yourself with a sigh, before taking the shot, hoping that it will give you some of the confidence you need to talk to the most attractive man you’d ever seen in your life.
I can do this, I can do this-
The internal monologue repeats itself over and over again with each step as you weave your way through the crowd to make it where the man is sitting, dropping your gaze to the people around you as if you’re more focused on them.
You weren’t, but staring at him while you were walking towards him seemed too predatory, and you could already feel how warm your cheeks were from your flush.
You grip the firm edge of the bar when you make it to him, using it to ground yourself there in the moment before you find the strength to meet his gaze.
There’s a faded green jacket hung over the high backed barstool behind him that you hadn’t noticed before.
Your eyes trace over his body, just a quick glance, but snags on his arms for just a second too long to be casual. They were even more glorious in person, tan and flecked with cinnamon colored freckles hidden beneath twisting tattoos that disappeared into his dark shirt sleeves.
“Hi.” You smile shyly at the man when you meet his gaze.
“Hi.” He rumbles with an easy smile while the green of his eyes flashes in the neon sign hanging behind the bar.
His voice catches you off guard. You weren't expecting it to be so smooth, silk over your skin, but also like the rough drag of the ocean against sand as it pulls it out to sea.
“Hi.” You say again as all other thoughts evaporate from you mind and you fight the urge to facepalm.
What the hell am I doing over here? I might as well do the walk of shame back to my own table.
Russell raises an eyebrow, his smile widening. “Hi.” He echoes.
You open your mouth-
“Before you say hi back sweetheart, why don’t you tell me what you’re drinking instead?” He winks making your cheeks warm with their flush.
Honestly, you were expecting him to be turned off by your somewhat awkward introduction, but if you bothered him, he doesn’t show it. He leans towards you curiously, eyes drinking you in.
You clear your throat while your mind scrambles to come up with something appropriate or sexy to say other than ‘wow you’re pretty.’ You settle on. “Whatever you’re drinking.”
Smooth real smooth.
You glance back in the direction of where your friends are sitting as the man’s gaze turns to the bartender so he can order you a drink. Kay makes an obscene gesture with her hand that makes Matt kick her under the table, and Liza gives you an encouraging thumbs up.
Kill me now.
You turn back to the man lounging against the bar, unaware that he’s watching you again.
“You seemed like you were having some fun over there. What were you talking about?” He nods his head in the direction of your friends, the motion causing more of his dark hair to fall into his eyes and you fight the urge to push it back from his face and find out if it was as soft as it looked.
“Oh um.” Your mouth goes dry. The last thing you wanted to say to the gorgeous man was that your friends and you were discussing what animated movie characters turned you on. So you blurt out. “The First Law of Thermodynamics.”
It had clawed its way from the dark recesses of your mind where the rest of the test answers had been hiding from you when you tried to summon them earlier.
“What?” The man laughs while you feel your face begin to blaze.
“The First Law of Thermodynamics?” You clear your throat. “The theory that energy cannot be created or destroyed."
Where was that when I needed it for the test?
“Huh.” He smirks and takes a long sip from the beer in his hand. “Didn’t think Tarzan had anything to do with that.”
Oh sweet baby potatoes he heard the daddy conversation. Why couldn’t he have heard the Jessica Rabbit conversation instead?
“Ah.” You laugh awkwardly, realizing exactly what he overheard.
The bartender puts down a bottle of beer in front of you and whirls away to another patron sitting on the opposite side of the bar. The band begins to play a new song, this one louder with more drums than the last one, causing the man to lean closer to you so you can hear him.
“So.” The smell of the man’s cologne wafts over you. He smells like pine, mint, whiskey, and there’s an odd smell you can’t place, something that smells almost a little bit like smoke.
You ascribe it to cigarettes, but you don’t realize how wrong you are.
There’s something about him, more than just how attractive he is or how good he smells that draws you in. Maybe you’d just been burned by far too many boys and were blinded by the man sitting in front of you, but he had a roughness and self-sufficient air that you found refreshing.
He was assertive, sexy, with smoldering green eyes that somehow seemed soft and hard at the same time and filled you with an unholy amount of desire.
“So?” You parrot, bringing the beer up to your lips, hoping that a sip will take the edge off.
“Don’t you want to hear mine?” His voice is low and sultry, breath warming the air between the two of your faces.
You sputter out a cough, choking on the sip you took in surprise, and his eyes widen in concern.The man brings his hand down against your back with a hearty smack to clear out your lungs.
“Are you okay?”
“Never better.” You choke out, voice a little wheezy. “Wrong pipe.”
This is quickly becoming the most embarrassing moment of my life.
“Are you sure?” The stranger’s eyes trace over you as if he fears you’ll start asphyxiating at any moment.
“Mhmm.” You clear your throat again. “What were you saying?”
“I asked if you wanted to hear mine.”
You suddenly forget how to breathe, the only thing grounding you to this moment is the hand you placed on the cherry wood of the bar. “Sure.”
“Rain.”
Despite the last few seconds of you feeling so awkward it made you want to sink into the floor like quicksand and the fact that your throat is still burning from when the beer went down the wrong pipe, your mouth quirks up in a smile. “The horse from Spirit?”
“Mhmm.” He smiles a little wider. “My little sister used to watch that movie non-stop, and there was always something about that horse.”
“Huh.” You muse taking another sip of the beer, this time successfully not choking on it. “I didn’t peg you for a horse guy. You seem more like a Nala person.”
“Oh that lion did it for me too.” The man leans closer to you and you can feel your knees getting weak. “She definitely had bedroom eyes.”
“She did!” You laugh at him. “The animators knew what they were doing.”
It was getting easier to talk to him now and you could feel your nerves slowly going out to sea. There’s a comfortable silence that fills the air between the two of you.
“Why did you say the First Law of Thermodynamics earlier?” He asks before taking a sip from his beer. The condensation trickles down the side of the glass to pool against the wood of the bar.
“Because I didn’t want to admit what we were talking about.” You answer honestly. “And I guess it’s still a little fresh in my mind-”
“Why?”
“I had a physics test today. Completely bombed it. That’s why my friends brought me out tonight, they were trying to make me forget it.” You wave a hand dismissively, but it was the first time you’d thought about the test in the past hour and it still stung a little bit.
You were hoping that by this point of the night it wouldn’t have mattered anymore, but it did. Not to mention you didn’t exactly want to be talking about your most recent failure with a man who looked anything like he did.
But something about him made you feel comfortable talking to him about things that were not on the pre-approved list of subjects you created when you spoke to people you were attracted to. He didn’t seem to just be some hot stranger in a bar, he seemed like he actually cared, and that he was invested in what you were going to say.
It made him even more attractive. You weren't used to boys wanting to actually listen to anything you had to say.
“I’m sorry.” His face pulls down into a sympathetic frown.
“Me too.” You sigh.
“Maybe you didn’t do as bad as you think you did.”
“Oh I did. When I turned in the test, the professor made a face.” Your thumb rubs against the glass of the cold bottle clutched in your hand. “I studied all week for it and it kinda feels like I wasted all that time.”
The man studies you for a moment. “I think that if you learn something from it, then it’s not a waste. There are no accidents.“
“Are you purposely quoting Master Oogway to make me feel better or is that just a coincidence?”
“He’s a smart turtle.” He laughs pleased with himself that he made you smile. “But you remembered the First Law of Thermodynamics. And I thought it was a nice pick up line. Might use that sometime.”
“Shut up.” You laugh and raise your hand to hit him on the shoulder, but he catches it with his.
The contact of the rough palm of his hand in yours makes electricity zing through your body, bringing a wave of heat coursing behind it.
“That’s not very nice. Keep trying to hit me like that and I might have to take you to court, Sweetheart.” He winks.
“Oh please-”
“How else am I going to run into you again?”
“Well-” You swallow trying to find the next words, but they’re stuck in the back of your throat.
I am so out of practice.
“Well?” He raises an eyebrow in a silent challenge, the end of his perfect mouth teased upwards in a smile.
“This doesn’t have to be goodbye.”
“What did you have in mind?” The heat of his gaze sends goosebumps dancing over your skin and you swear you can feel your heartbeat in the base of your throat.
People do this all the time. I can say it. I can-
“Maybe-” You scoot closer to him, summoning some courage from the tequila. “Something like this.”
Your free hand curls into the front of his shirt to pull the stranger closer for a kiss.
Unfortunately, you pull him just a little too hard, with a little too much enthusiasm, and he falls off the stool with a startled cry in surprise and knocks his head into yours.
“Ow.” You groan rubbing at the red mark forming on your forehead. “I am so sorry.”
By now your cheeks are so warm that you could fry an egg on them and you were sure you looked like a giant raspberry. You had never been so clumsy or so embarrassed in your entire life.
“It’s okay, you just surprised me a bit.” The man says, but he’s peering at the mark on your forehead. “Are you okay?”
How many times is he going to ask me that tonight?
“Yeah the only thing that’s hurt is my pride.” You let out an awkward laugh. “I’m just gonna-“ You gesture with your thumb over your shoulder to signify that you’re going to leave.
The anecdotes that your friends were going to tell from tonight had already begun to manifest in your head:
“Hey, remember that time you tried to flirt with a gorgeous man at the bar and you headbutted him?”
“Hey, remember that handsome stranger? The one you told all about your failed physics test instead of sleeping with him?”
“Wait.” He gently puts his hand on your waist, sending your heart into a gallop. “Can we try that again?”
“Huh?” You blink in surprise.
So far all you’d done was head butt him and tell him your sob story about failing your physics test.
Worst seduction technique ever.
“Don’t move.” He smiles. “Don’t want to have to take you to the hospital for a CT if you bump my head again.”
It would have made you laugh if he wasn’t already kissing you.
It might just be the alcohol talking, or the fact that the last thing you kissed was the strawberry pillows on the couch in the living room last week when Liza, Kay, and you were watching your favorite paranormal tv show and you were imagining the male lead, but this kiss is nothing like any of the others you’d had in the past.
His mouth devours yours, beard scratching against your cheeks in a way that makes your entire body buzz. The man’s hands tighten your waist to draw you closer, closing the space between your bodies, and all you can feel is the wonderful drag of his fingertips against the end of your sweatshirt, the burn of his beard, the press of his chest onto yours, and the tangle of his tongue as you sink further into him.
A moan vibrates up through his chest and into your mouth that you echo with a soft sigh, your hands slipping over the taunt muscles before finding purchase against his back, your fingertips curling into the soft fabric of his t-shirt.
The rest of the bar is rendered to a dull throb of life at the back of your mind, the man in front of you absorbing the rest of your attention as he should. He is nothing like anyone you’d ever met and you wanted to know more. You wanted to see the end of the odd shaped scar just at the base of his throat, trail your fingers over the dark tattoos that decorated his skin while searching for more in places you couldn’t yet see, and sink into the deep green sea of his eyes.
“Better?” He breathes.
“Much, but if you’re not into that, I also know the Second Law of Thermodynamics. Just to give you something to remember me by.” You mumble against his lips, still slightly embarrassed. Your hands were still curled behind his strong shoulders, fingertips digging into the firm muscles.
“Beside the bruises?” He smirks before he kisses you again, the languid roll of his tongue against yours makes you forget your own name. “I’d very much like to hear it.” The rumble of his words vibrates through where your bodies are pressed against one another. “But first let me get the car and then I’ll let you tell me all about it.”
He brushes his lips to yours one more time, before he puts cash on the bar, and leaves you breathless as he saunters away towards the front door.
Holy fucking shit. How did that work?
“Girl Yes!” You hear Kay, before you feel her hands come down on your shoulders to shake you excitedly. “I was a little worried in the middle there for you with that head butt, but yes! That’s how you do it!” Her excited squeal brings you back down to earth from the cloud you were floating on with Russell.
“Where’d he go?” Liza asks. Matt was holding her from behind, his chin on her shoulder as he slowly rocked her to the music.
“To get the car.” Your cheeks flush at the insinuation.
“Fuck I am so jealous. The only thing I’m going to get to do tonight is Sean’s back.” Kay gives an exaggerated sigh. “It’s acting up and that means I’m going to have to give him a massage for an hour and not the good kind. It always knocks him out.”
“Aww babe.” Liza says.
“It’s okay.” Kay shrugs, but then sends her a saucy wink. “I can do some laundry. His washing machine has this spin cycle that makes me see stars.”
“I didn’t need to know that you’ve been molesting our washing machine.” Matt closes his eyes as if trying to scrub the image from his mind.
“It’s money well spent, Mattie.” Kay batts her eyes at him.
He huffs, but then turns his gaze on you, his blue eyes are filled with concern. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”
“Yeah.” You shrug, nerves popping and sizzling inside so much that they might as well be giving off enough electricity to power New York City. “I don’t get a creepy vibe from him. I think he’s actually kind of nice.”
It was true. Your radar was usually on point with things like this, and there was something about Russell that didn’t scream axe murderer. He seemed surprisingly laid back and honest, and you found yourself curious to know more about him.
Matt doesn’t look convinced.
“It’s okay babe.” Liza says, swaying her and his body to the music. “We have the app on our phones and we all know the safe word.” She continues, referencing the word the three of you designated when everything was okay as well as the other word that meant everything was going terribly wrong.
You didn’t think that you would need it.
He sighs. “Fine, but if he tries anything weird-”
“What qualifies as weird for you?” Kay asks, raising an eyebrow. “I’ve always been curious about your kinks.”
Kay always took pride in getting under Matt’s skin. You never knew why that was, only that it seemed to be her mission to make him crack. He never did.
“Be safe.” He nods at you before he drags Liza towards the door.
“Seriously babe.” Kay begins to back away. “Be safe. Because the last thing you want to pass right now is a pregnancy test.”
“Why are we friends again?” You groan as you follow behind her, weaving through the mass of bodies writhing to the newest song.
The air outside the bar is cooler, but there’s just a hint of something on the wind. Spring was coming, but it was still far enough away to leave just a light chill in the air. The street in front of Duke’s was populated sporadically with cars of varying shapes and colors, but you couldn’t help but wonder what kind of car the mysterious stranger drove.
Why didn’t I ask him for his name?
“Because you’d be lost without me.” Kay laughs at you, but then pulls you into a hug. “Have fun and please try not to think about that stupid test. You’re so smart and I promise that one test is not going to define your entire future. If that were true my first organic chemistry test would have come with a refrigerator box to live in, because that test was literally the stuff of nightmares.”
She frowns at the memory. It was the first test that she had ever failed in her entire life, and although you were the one who usually obsessed over grades, it was the first time you’d ever seen Kay so disappointed. That was also because her professor had asked her to stop by for office hours and told her that there was no way she’d ever be able to get the grades she needed in his class.
But a weekend marathon of Sex and the City listening to her mentor Samantha Jones, had brought her back to life and she’d sauntered confidently into the classroom armed with a flat white latte and sat in the front row at every lecture the rest of the semester.
She’d gotten the highest grade in the class.
Basically, Kay was your hero, that was the real reason why you were her friend.
“I’ll try my best. Tell Sean hi for me.” You squeeze her just as tight, before she walks away down the darkened path back to campus where Sean would be waiting for her.
There was an odd glow over the sidewalks tonight, a yellowed light that crawled along the cracked brick building that housed Duke’s and halted just shy of the opening of the alley that ran between Duke’s and the bank next door. No other people were visible. Even the small crowd that usually leaned against the rustic brick wall outside of the bar smoking was nowhere to be seen.
It was odd.
You rub your hands down your arms with nervous anticipation. You’d slept with someone from a bar one time before, but one night stands were not your forte at all. The last time it’d happened, you’d gone back with a guy to his apartment only to find out an hour later when his girlfriend got home that he wasn’t single. She hadn’t seemed surprised that you were in bed with him, but you had been when she pulled out a switchblade the size of your hand and began to slash through the neatly arranged collection of plush squish-mallows on the floor while screaming obscenities at the guy.
In hindsight, maybe the squish-mallows were a clue that he was in a relationship.
But you didn’t have any bad feelings about the man you’d met. He was attractive, witty, nice, funny, and he genuinely seemed concerned about you when you almost choked to death on a sip of beer.
I will make him forget the entire awkward encounter.
You promised yourself, but you also began to be a little bit nervous. You didn’t know why it was taking him so long to find the car.
A bird caws overhead, sweeping low across the buildings, feathers an inky black in the night air, its shadow flickering across the moon.
Another two minutes pass and you start to get antsy.
Maybe he just left?
The thought brings a wave of disappointment over you. The stranger was the first person in a long time that you’d felt genuinely attracted to and now you couldn’t help but think that maybe he lied and when he said he was going to get the car, he really was trying to get away from you as fast as possible.
You take a few steps in the direction that Kay left thinking that you might as well cut your losses and see if you can catch up, but hesitate.
What if I leave and he comes back? What if-
An odd noise that sounds like a cat hacking up a hairball comes from the alley directly to your right, followed by the sound of something heavy hitting the pavement.
You turn. Most of the alley is obscured in shadows, several large dumpsters jut out from grimy brick walls stained with God knows what, but you don’t see anything out of the ordinary.
There are some lights fastened to the wall that runs the length of the bar, sending a dingy orange light over the bags of trash, empty flattened cardboard boxes, and plastic cups strewn over the wet ground.
The door of Duke’s swings open for a moment, bringing the sounds and smells of the bar through the doorway as a woman enters tugging a sullen looking man behind her.
You turn your attention back to the empty alleyway, and catch the low rumble of a voice that sounds oddly familiar. It echoes through the darkness bouncing off the stone, metal, and bags of trash to where you stand at the dimly lit mouth of the alley.
That’s weird.
Another sound follows the voice, a wet sounding thud that piques your interest. You take a tentative step forward into the darkness.
Wait. Isn’t this how every horror movie starts?
It was a valid question. But then you hear the voice again, it’s louder, vibrating against the brick and mortar, and it pulls your forward.
Anxiety hums through your body as you inch down the alley, sticking to the well lit side that runs the length of Duke’s.
“Who sent you?” The familiar voice asks.
There’s no answer, and the sound of the cat choking up a hairball comes back.
Someone needs to get Grizabella a glass of water.
You take another shaky step passing by the first dumpster before you reach the part of the alley that wraps around the back of the bar.
At first you’re not sure what you see. The part of the alley behind the bar is more of a cramped street with a tire marked dirt path, bathed in awkward light from the moon and from a lazy streetlight that’s only half lit. There’s another dumpster back here, this one a little larger than the others you’d seen along the side of the building, but that isn’t what’s interesting.
The image comes into focus.
The stranger from the bar is standing there, his back to you, but he isn’t alone. The stranger has a man pinned to the dumpster, a large knife stabbed into the space between the man’s collarbone and his right shoulder while his other hand is clasped tightly around the man’s neck.
“Who sent you?!” The stranger roars, the knife digging into the man’s shoulder.
Your entire body freezes in fear.
My radar was so wrong. How could it be this wrong? He was so caring and kind- That’s what they said about Ted Bundy.
Your gaze drops to what you thought was a garbage bag at the green-eyed stranger's feet, but realize that it’s not a bag, it’s a body.
Holy shit he’s a murderer! Maybe if I just back away slowly-
You take a slow step backwards hoping to edge back into the alley that runs the length of the bar and forget this night ever happened, but instead of your foot finding solid ground, it finds a forgotten potato chip bag.
The crinkled plastic crunches underfoot, breaking the still silence of the night. You inhale sharply and look up. Your gaze locks with the green-eyed man.
“I didn’t see anything.” You hold up your hands, backing away slowly. “Have a nice night.”
“Wait-”
“Nope.” You turn and flee down the alley hoping that someone is coming out of the bar at the exact moment who can witness the broad stranger chasing after you. His boots thud against the concrete, splashing through water in hot pursuit, contrasting against the plods of your own feet sloshing through puddles and through trash to get back to the light.
Before you make it halfway through the darkness, he grabs your arm and turns you to look at him.
“Let me go!” You shriek, tugging at his grip, preparing to kick him between his legs, the only place that matters.
“Please wait. I can explain!”
“You don’t have to explain!” You keep pulling at his arm. “I didn’t see anything! I don’t know who you are. And you know what? I wasn’t even in the bar tonight! I was back in my apartment watching Crime Scene Kitchen!”
It was the first thing that popped into your head, but if it meant that you got to live, it would be your alibi.
He hesitates confused. “What’s Crime Scene Kitchen?”
“What? You just fucking murdered someone in an alley, you’re about to murder me, and that’s what you’re asking me?” You scream.
“I’m not going to murder you. And I was the one who was attacked!”
“Oh sure!” Fear clamps down hard on your throat squeezing the air coming in through your lungs. Tears begin to burn against your eyes as you try to release his grip. “Somebody help me!” You scream loudly trying to twist away from him and wishing that you’d brought your bottle of pepper spray or that you’d taken the self-defense class last summer with Kay or at least paid more attention to that scene in Miss Congeniality.
How could I have been so stupid? He’s going to kill me here and I’ll never know what that physics test did to my GPA.
You frown slightly at that thought. It really is weird what goes through your head when you think you’re going to die.
“Please, let me explain.” He says again, eyes wide and filled with an emotion that looks surprisingly like regret.
His dark hair has fallen forward over his cheeks that are flecked with blood, but the lights that line the wall of the dark alley perfectly frame his face. He looked like a model for a beer commercial or one that they’d roughed up a little for those weird perfume commercials you saw that never made any sense, but were always intriguing.
Why are all the hot ones crazy? Why couldn’t he have just been a bad kisser? Or maybe a little too loud? Why is his flaw that he freaking MURDERS people?
As you think that, there is a little voice inside your head that asks: Could I be okay with that?
NO! OF COURSE NOT!
“There’s nothing to explain! You’re a murderer! You just killed those people!” You aim a kick at his crotch, but the man only catches your ankle with his large hand. You could feel the warmth of his skin through your sweatpants, the sensation that brought warm tingles through your body when you were in the bar, only sends a wave of fear crashing over you.
“Yes I did, but for a good reason!”
“Really? What reason was that!?”
“They were trying to kill me!”
“I don’t believe you!”
“I-”
Before he can finish his sentence, gunfire explodes over your head. Sparks fly as bullets crash into the dumpsters and rip through the night air around where you and the man are standing.
There’s a large black suburban parked in the street that runs behind Duke’s where you’re found the stranger with the body. Three men stand in front of it all in dark clothing and each one is holding a pistol pointed directly at where you’re standing.
“Holy shit!” You scream, but the stranger tackles you back behind the large rusting green dumpster that juts out and gives you cover from the blaze of bullets.
His body lays over yours, curving protectively around you, and his arm is behind you head so when you hit the ground, your head doesn’t. The impact of the cold, wet, concrete beneath your body jostles through your system, but you can’t focus on it too much, not when the man’s entire body is laying on top of yours and it feels as if he was made especially for you.
He lays in the cradle of your thighs, wonderfully broad and hard, the muscles of his body contrasting to the soft curves of your body underneath your clothes. It left very little to the imagination, well… not little.
It’s enough to make a girl forget that he’s a murderer… No, what am I saying!!
You shove him off of you and cower back behind the dumpster, the sound of gunfire filling your ears and making you realize exactly what you smelled on the man earlier that you thought was smoke.
“Baby-” He says reaching out to comfort you.
“Don’t touch me! I’m not your baby!” You swat his hands away from you pressing yourself back into the wet wall of the alley.
The smell of mold and trash was rising all around you in an unholy mist. The wet ground soaked into the soft fabric of your pants and left stains that you didn’t want to think about what they were.
“Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit-” It comes out like a sickening mantra as you rock back and forth, hands on your ears to make the sound of the gunfire stop.
I’m going to die here. In this dismal back alley. In front of this gorgeous murder. If I had know that I wouldn’t have spent so much of this week studying for a mother-fucking physics test!
“Sweetheart!” The man shouts to catch your attention, but you don’t look at him.
“What in the devil’s ass is happening?!” You shriek.
“Listen to me!” He shouts louder over the sound of gunfire and takes your cheeks in his rough palms to make him look at him. His green eyes are brilliant in the light, but filled with a determined fire that makes you suddenly feel very safe despite watching him kill someone and the active gunfire bouncing all around you.
You wanted to trust him, but you also didn’t want to be on the news or used as a cautionary tale for mothers to guilt their daughters with.
“I promise that nothing is going to happen to you.”
“How can you guarantee that?!”
“Because I don’t break my promises.” The determined grit in his eyes hardens as they sweep over your face. “I will explain what’s going on. But first I have to go talk to them.” He releases your face, but hesitates.
The man wasn’t bothering to duck and cover, in fact each time a bullet ricocheted off the side of the dumpster he didn’t even flinch, meanwhile the sour taste of bile was rising into your mouth and you were sure that you were going to throw up. Panic was setting in, and your heart rate was getting dangerously high as anxiety and fear flickered along your nerve endings.
Oh my sweet goodness he’s mentally unstable.
“Actually.” He sighs and flashes an awkward smile. “I don't want to lie to you. I’m going to go kill them. Don’t move.” He reaches into the waistband at the back of his worn jeans and pulls out a gun.
Has he had that this whole time? HOW did I not feel it?
“Wait what? Don’t go out there!” Your fingers fist in the front of his jacket, the fear of him leaving you more than the fear of him murdering you. At this point it was either be killed by the beautiful stranger or killed by the other guys, and being killed by the other guys meant that you’d have to meet someone new and look where that had gotten you tonight.
“They’re not exactly going to leave on their own.” He cracks a smile despite the situation. “But promise me you’re not going to move.” His smile turns into a concerned frown, eyebrows furrowing together as his eyes settle on you once more, steely and unyielding.
“I promise.” Your voice comes out shaky and not at all what you sound like. Truthfully you were surprised that you got anything to come out of your mouth that wasn't vomit.
He nods once.
When he leaves, you wait exactly three seconds, counting each of them out in your head before you take off in a dead run for the front door of Duke’s bar and into the safety of the street beyond without looking back while hoping that all of this has just been a bad dream.
Coming back to the apartment feels surreal, crossing through the living room like a Salvador Dali painting, and finally closing your bedroom door and locking it is like a mirage.
You weren’t sure how you made it back here, only that you did, and that was all that mattered.
Kay and Liza weren’t home, predictably, but you would have tried to call both of them if you hadn’t dropped your phone in the cluster fuck that was everything that happened an hour ago. Because on top of everything now you didn’t have any way to contact your friends and let them know that you’re alive and okay.
Your body was still buzzing with the anxiety of everything that happened, mind going a mile a minute the longer you allowed it to bathe in the memories of being shot at and watching the stranger kill those men.
The stranger that somehow was able to trick your radar.
I just need to breathe, relax, and-
You turn around towards your bed expecting to go to sleep and forget all of it, but the thought stutters to a halt as you realize you’re not alone. The green-eyed stranger is standing there in the center of your bedroom. He is holding a bundle of your clothes in one hand and your empty school backpack in the other.
“What the fuck?!” You scream and reach for the Strawberry Shortcake bat your dad bought you when you moved out, hefting it high on your shoulder preparing to swing. “What the hell are you doing here?”
He raises an eyebrow at your awkward stance. “Why are you holding a bright pink baseball bat?”
“All the better beat the shit out of rapists who break into my apartment in the middle of the night!”
“What happened to murderer?” The end of his lips lift up in a smile too perfect to be real. He almost seems to be enjoying this, like he thinks you’re being cute and not accusing him of something terrible.
“That too!”
He laughs at you, but then his smile slips into a frown.“Why did you break your promise?” You don't understand why he looks like a kicked puppy at the thought that you broke your promise.
Of course I didn’t keep it! I was running for my life to get out of the way of the millions of bullets pointed at my head!
“What?”
“You promised that you would stay there and you didn’t. You could have been killed.” Worry flashes in his gaze, and your eyes drop to the flecks of blood on the outside of his jacket that remind you of everything this man had done tonight.
“Oh, well excuse me for breaking a promise I made to a murderer!”
“I’m not a murderer.”
“If the boot fits!” You snap back. “You showing up in my bedroom certainly seems plenty murdery. That and you going through my underwear drawer for a little souvenir.” Your eyes narrow in suspicion.
“A souvenir?” The man laughs at you again, his shoulders shaking. He’s still wearing the same clothes he was in the alley, and again you’re momentarily stunned by how attractive he is.
“Why else would you be going through my drawers? And how do you know where I live!?”
“That’s not important right now.” The man shoves the bundle of your clothes into your backpack before moving back to the chest of drawers in the corner of your bedroom for another handful.
“What the fuck do you mean that’s not important right now? And what the hell are you doing?”
“I’m packing you a bag.”
“What? Why? So it’ll look like I ran away?!”
Oh holy fuck he’s still going to kill me!
You swing the bat as hard as you can, but the man raises the backpack to block your attack.
“Calm down Derek Jeter! I’m not going to murder you, please stop saying that.”
“Why?”
He frowns and shrugs his shoulders. “Because it’s hurting my feelings a little bit.”
“Hurting your-” You shake your head in disbelief. “Look, I have no idea who the fuck you are or why you broke into my apartment but-”
“Hi. I’m Russell.” The man now identified as ‘Russell’ holds out his hand to try and shake yours.
That’s obviously a fake name.
You stare at him blankly. “Are you insane?”
“No, I just told you, I’m Russell. And we have to go.” He retracts his hand and begins to shove clothes into your backpack again.
“I’m not going anywhere with you, crazy! I have class in the morning and an exam in two days!” You heft the baseball bat higher on your shoulder as a silent threat.
Judging by the way he blocked your attack so easily a few moments ago, you didn’t have high hopes. But you did think that if you screamed loud enough your elderly neighbor, aptly named Willy due to the many, many times he’d flashed Kay, Liza, and you “accidentally,” would come over at least to see if you had any extra magazines to take back to his hoarder apartment that was stacked floor to ceiling with yellowed newspapers long out of print.
Russell sighs, and looks from the bat to you, shoulders relaxing a millimeter, but there’s still something determined in his gaze. “I understand that you’re scared, but those guys, they saw you with me.”
“So?”
“So if I leave you here with no protection, they’re going to come here and take you.”
“You don’t know that!”
“Yes I do!” He replies, the edge of his voice is tinged with anger and frustration.
“How?”
“Look!” Russell holds up a battered phone. Displayed on the cracked screen is a message thread of texts to an unknown number. Russell clicks on one of the pictures that was sent an hour ago, about the time the two of you met.
As it grows larger on the screen you recognize the two people in it. It’s a picture of Russell and you kissing at the bar. Your eyes are closed, hands curved over his shoulders possessively, while you smile into his mouth.
The memory of the kiss sends a warm tingle down your spine as you remember how good the kiss was. It was definitely in the top ten, hell, it was number one.
Don’t be seduced by his charm and good looks! You saw him kill someone tonight! Not to mention he probably killed those other guys that were shooting at you.
Russell swipes his finger over the screen again, this time the picture is of him and you talking, your face on full display. You’re laughing at something Russell said with your right hand resting on the cool bottle of beer you never finished. Honestly, if anyone was seeing those photos for the first time it would look like Russell and you were together.
“You took pictures of me!?” You shout. “You’re a fucking freak!”
“Sweetheart, listen to me-”
“I’m not your Sweetheart. You’re just some random murder that I met at a bar!”
The things that I’ve said tonight for the first time could be an SNL skit. Why me?
“For the last time, I am not a murder! And I didn’t take those photos. The men who were after me did.”
“So? Why would they care about some random girl?”
“Because they don’t know you’re some random girl I met! They think that you’re important to me and until I figure out who they sent these pictures to, you’re not safe.”
“Can’t you text them and say that you just met me tonight? That it’s a pure coincidence?! That I’m not important to you.” You point at the cracked phone, waving your free hand frantically at it.
Russell laughs at your question. “Are you kidding? Do you think they’re going to believe me?”
“I don’t know! And how would they know where I live?”
“The same way I knew how.”
That is a good point. How did he know where I lived?
You hesitate, gaze flicking over where Russell stands with your backpack in his hand, but another idea begins to wiggle from the depths of your mind. “Wait. Is this some kind of kinky thing you do? Some fetish? Pretending to be a spy or that people are after you just to get yourself all hot and bothered?”
“What?” Now it’s Russell’s turn to look at you like you’re crazy.
You take that as confirmation. “It is! Holy fuck, that is so messed up.”
Wow forget murderer, he’s an actual psychopath. Why the hell did I drop my phone?
Kay and Liza weren’t going to be back tonight. Especially not if they think that you took “Russell,” if that really is his name, back to the apartment. You had no other way of contacting them, except with your laptop that was sitting closed on your bed behind where Russell was standing.
“Wait a minute. I’m not a spy.”
“Exactly, that’s the point! You’re pretending to make me-”
“No, I’m not. I promise all of this is real!” Russell sighs frustrated. “I know that you don’t want to believe me, but it isn’t safe here. And I can protect you!”
“That’s exactly what you would say to kidnap me!”
“Sweetheart. I am not going to kidnap you, I’m trying to keep you safe. I mean, if I have to kidnap you I will-”
Your eyes widen and you heft the bat high on your shoulder prepared to swing.
“Sorry, that was a bad joke.” He holds up his hands in surrender, flashing an apologetic smile. “What would it take to make you believe me?”
It was the question that you had been contemplating since he’d protected you in the alley. You knew nothing about him, didn’t know what he did for a living, and you’d only just learned his name. But despite everything that happened there was a little part of yourself that wanted to believe him. You wanted to believe everything he was telling you, well, not the part about you being in danger and the idea that people now wanted to kill you, but the part about being able to trust him.
You think about the way he made you feel at the bar, when he listened to you complain about your physics test and made you laugh. You’d trusted him then, enough to go home with him or at least, try to go home with him.
“I don’t know.” The bat slips a little bit from your shoulder with your honesty. “Do you have any character references?”
Russell cracks a smile. “Isn’t it a little early for you to ask me about my old girlfriends? Don’t think any of them would be willing to say anything good about me either.”
This time you can feel a little smile begin to tug at the end of your lips, one that Russell notices.
“I know that you’re scared.” He takes a tentative step forward. “But I promise that I will explain everything to you, answer all your questions, but all I know is that you’re not safe here. And I can’t in good conscience leave, if I know you’re in danger.”
The look in his eyes had the determined fire you’d seen many times tonight, but there was something honest about it. They saw through you, and even though you had spent most of the night terrified and believed him to be a murderer, you didn’t think that someone like that would be so determined for you to go with him.
It felt like two parts of your head were at war. You wanted to trust Russell, you didn’t think he was lying to you, but you had seen him kill those men. And there was an unfortunate part of you that worried he made all of this up to kidnap you.
But I think if he meant to do that… he would have jumped me the minute I walked into my bedroom, he wouldn’t have said “hi.”
“I know this whole thing sounds crazy. But the last thing I want is for you to die because of something stupid I did. Please.”
You bite the inside of your cheek thinking about Kay and Liza. “If I leave, what about my roommates? They live here too.”
He rubs the back of his neck. “I’m not going to sugar coat it Sweetheart, there’s always a chance that they’ll be hurt, but with you gone, there’s also a chance that these guys will focus more on finding me.”
“So basically you can’t guarantee their safety?”
“No.” He drops his gaze for a moment, but then he looks at you again. “But I can guarantee yours and I don’t want to take the chance with your life. And my brother is smart, maybe he can figure out a way to keep them safe too.”
You stand there for a moment contemplating what he’s saying, the memories of everything that happened tonight rising up in an unrelenting wave, not just cowering behind the dumpster, but the kiss the two of you shared, and the way he made you laugh.
I want to trust him. I don’t think he’s lying, I don’t think he’s going to hurt me. You think to yourself, and then the inevitable thought comes. I feel safe with him.
“Do you promise that your name is Russell and that you’re telling me the truth?” You ask one more time to make sure.
“Yes.”
So you take a chance and hope to God that you’re not wrong.
“Okay.” You nod, lowering the bat entirely. “I’ll go with you.”
He sighs in relief. “Good.” Russell holds out the backpack towards you. “You should probably pack this. If I had my way, there won’t be much in here besides underwear.”
“You’re such a guy.” You roll your eyes and take the backpack from him, but you can't help the smile that curls on the end of your mouth.
Russell returns it, pleased with himself that he'd gotten you to smile again. “That's better than you accusing me of being a murderer.”
“Jury’s still out on that one.”
“But you have to admit… this did make you forget your physics test right?”
He's not wrong... but you don’t think that this is better.
A/N: I had so much fun with this one. I hope y'all laughed as much as I did 😂
Thank you so much for reading! Likes, Reblogs, and Comments are not required, but are always appreciated! I love hearing what y'all think! 😊 If you'd liked to be added to my taglist please let me know!
A/N: This is a make-it-whumpier fix-it for the latest episode, and so contains spoilers for 3x02!
xxx x-ray
"Hey, stop. Stop!" Russell yells, but the man doesn't, just keeps pulling the netting off of his truck. Russell fires into the air, three shots, and that finally gets the man's attention. He stops, raising his arms and turning slowly to face Russell. Russell recognizes him immediately as Phillip Jost, one of the three suspects. "I will not miss next time, I promise."
"Nice to see a dead man," Jost says. "I'm not armed."
Russell's keeps his expression static. No irritation at the dead man comment, and no hesitation at the I'm not armed thing. He keeps his gun trained on Jost."You the one in charge?"
"No."
"Who is?"
"Schneider."
Of course Russell is stuck with the lackey. Colter is probably in that bunker kicking Schneider's ass right now without him. Figures. He holds his hand out for. "Gimme the keys." He makes a give it here gesture with his hand. "C'mon."
Jost hesitates a moment, and then reaches into his pocket and tosses the keys to Russell. Russell takes his attention off the man just long enough to catch the keys, which is still too long he knows better, but his reflexes had taken over and the distraction is long enough for Jost to strike.
The feeling of being tased is instantly recognizable—pain igniting through his entire body as every muscle clenches. Worse than that is the utter lack of control, the horrible knowledge that he's completely vulnerable and at the mercy of the one who tased. It only lasts five seconds, but in the moment, when his muscles feel like they're on fire and he's entirely helpless, it may as well be an eternity.
His muscles release just in time for him to throw his arms up and avoid taking a tire iron to the face. A tire iron to the forearms doesn't feel too good, either, and he lets out a shout of rage. But Jost is angry, too, and he's desperate, and before Russell has the chance to recover, he's swinging again—not at Russell's head, protected by his arms, but as his exposed torso. The makeshift weapon connects with Russell's lower ribs. He's trying to catch his breath when it hits him again in the same spot and there's a crunch and agony explodes through his chest.
Fuck.
He needs to get his gun, but he doesn't want to leave his head exposed. He just has to time it right, then, and move quick. The tire iron hits him again, lower this time, driving into the soft flesh of his belly. Nausea rises in his throat, but he pushes it down, ignores the pain. Jost is rearing back to strike again, and that's Russell's opening. He uncurls, snatches his gun from the dirt, aims, fires.
Jost falls to the ground, dead.
Russell lets out a long groan, closing his eyes against the deep, sharp ache in his torso. Every breath is agony. He's pretty sure he can feel the grind of shifting bone from his broken ribs. The idea of moving is...unpleasant. To put it lightly. But Colter is out there on his own, and Russell needs to make sure he's okay. So he allows himself twenty seconds to stay laid out on the dirt, and then he forces himself to get moving.
xxx
Colter looks at the faces on the screen, at his sister and mother staring out at him from the monitors. Schneider is monologuing at him, all smug self righteousness, and Colter can't take it anymore.
He punches Schneider in the face, so hard that he knocks the man out of his chair and he hits the floor, unconscious. Colter barely gives him a second glance before looking back up at the screens.
"I'm ending this," he says aloud, and pulls out his gun. There's a grim satisfaction that comes with firing round after round into the computers that Schneider and Jost had used to cause so much suffering. He empties his clip into the wall of screens, and then he just stands there, gun still raised, and breaths.
He's not sure if it's over now. He hopes like hell that it is, but it's impossible to know for sure without someone looking further into it. He'll let the feds figure that out.
There's a sound behind him and he turns, gun raised even though it's empty. Russell is leaning against the door frame.
"Pretty sure you're out of bullets," he says, and then he falls forward.
"Whoa!" Colter says, rushing to catch his older brother before he hits the ground. He wraps an arm around Russell's middle—and Russell screams. Colter's blood runs cold as he lowers Russell to the ground, his heart hammering as he looks for any sign of injury. He doesn't see any blood, but he could just be missing it. "What happened?"
Russell shakes his head, leaning back against the wall with his eyes closed and his mouth drawn into a thin line. "I let my guard down. Stupid."
"What happened?" Colter repeats.
Russell groans, cracking his eyes open to look up at Colter. "Tire iron. Bastard got me in the ribs."
Damn it. Not good. "Anything broken?"
"Yup." Russell groans again. "I'll be fine. I've had worse."
Colter watches him for a moment, paying close attention to his breathing. Russell's breaths are short and shallow, his chest and shoulders moving visibly with each inhale.
"I don't like how you're breathing," he says, and Russell scowls up at him.
"It's just a couple cracked ribs, Colter, I'll live."
Colter just shakes his head as he pulls out his phone and dials the local sheriff's office. "If you keep breathing like that, you're gonna get pneumonia."
Russell throws up a lazy middle finger. Colter returns the gesture.
"Denver County Sheriff's Office."
Colter quickly explains the situation, answers a few questions, hangs up. He shoves his phone in his pocket, then walks over to sit next to Russell.
"So...What made you go all John Wick on the computers?" Russell asks, pointing at the wall of destroyed monitors.
Colter stares at the shattered screens. Schneider's words echo in his mind. What would you do to save your mother and sister? Which would you save first?
"He had Dory up there. And Mom."
Russell lets out a low growl, only it turns into a coughing fit.
"Russ?" Colter says in alarm, sitting forward and turning to face his brother. "You okay?"
Russell nods, holding up one hand in an I'm fine gesture. His face says differently though, deep lines etched at the corners of his eyes, his brows pinched together. Colter knows how painful coughing with even bruised ribs is. Coughing like this with multiple busted ribs must be excruciating.
"You okay?" he repeats as the coughing fit finally dies down. Russell's face is pale and there's sweat on his forehead, a drop of it rolling down his temple.
"Will you quit? How many times are you gonna make me tell you? I'm fine." But he sounds breathless and worn. Even the glare he shoots at Colter looks exhausted.
Colter is about to argue when they hear the distant sound of sirens steadily growing closer, and his stomach sinks. Talking to them is going to take ages, and he's hoping to somehow talk Russell into going to the emergency room. Or just not telling him and taking him before he realizes that's what Colter is doing. Russell makes a discontented sound.
"I had to shoot Phillip Jost. It was self-defense, but this is going to take forever now."
Colter looks over at Schneider to make sure he's still unconscious (he is), then stands. He doesn't say anything as he extends a hand to help Russell up. Russell looks at Colter's hand, then up at Colter, then finally accepts. As Colter pulls him upright, Russell sucks in a sharp breath and his free arm curls protectively around his rib-cage. They both walk out to meet law enforcement. There's an ambulance, too, for Schneider.
"Colter Shaw?" a deputy asks, opening her car door and stepping out, one hand resting near her weapon.
"That's me," Colter says. "I'm the one that called. This is my brother, Russ. Schneider is unconscious inside."
Things get busy after that, Russell being taken aside by a couple of deputies to explain what happened with Jost while Colter talks to others about what went down on his end of things. Still others go into the bunker to gather evidence and make the arrest. Schneider is conscious and handcuffed to the stretcher when they load him onto the ambulance and take him away. The feds are called. All the while, Colter can't stop throwing worried glances over at his brother. Even at this distance, he can see that Russell isn't doing too hot, his posture getting increasingly hunched. He keeps coughing, too.
"Mr. Shaw?"
Colter looks back at the deputy and blinks. She's looking at him like she'd just asked a question, maybe more than once. "I'm sorry, I...got distracted. What was that?"
"Did Mr. Schneider threaten you directly?"
He's trying to decide how much he wants to say when Russell's coughing gets worse. He sees movement out of the corner of his eye and he turns in time to see Russell going down, and there's a clamor as the deputy nearest him tries to slow his descent.
"Russ!"
"Mr. Shaw--" the deputy begins, but Colter is already jogging over to his brother.
"What happened?"
One of the deputies, a young man who looks barely out of his teens, turns with wide eyes. His face is pale. "I, I don't--"
Coulter steps around him and his heart plummets. Russell is lying on his back, eyes barely open. There's blood down the front of his chin.
"Russ." Colter kneels next to him, pressing two three fingers against Russell's neck under his jaw and finding the pulse there far too fast. "Someone call an ambulance!"
"Already have one on the way!"
Colter moves around so that he's sitting behind Russell's head. "C'mere," he murmurs, maneuvering and shifting his semi-conscious brother until Russell is sitting up, his back against Colter's chest. Russell lets out a few small noises of discomfort as Colter gets them both situated, but doesn't respond otherwise. No complaints, no teasing...Colter hates it.
"Keep breathing," he says, voice low as he blinks back tears. "Come on, Russell. Keep breathing for me."
Russell's lips and fingernails have taken on a bluish tone by the time the ambulance arrives. They let Colter ride in back with him, and he watches numbly as the paramedic fits an oxygen mask over Russell's face and cuts his shirt open. There are bright red-purple bruises over his rib-cage, and another across his middle, the colors made especially stark by the papery whiteness of Russ's skin.
"Do you know what he was hit with?" It takes a second for Colter to realize that the paramedic is talking to him.
"Uh...tire iron. He said it was a tire iron."
"Jesus," the paramedic murmurs under his breath.
The ambulance ride passes in a blur, and then they're wheeling Russell into the hospital and Colter follows, but they don't let him into the emergency room and he's left standing at the doors, staring through a small window as they try to save his big brother's life.
-
The x-rays show four fractured ribs and a possible lung contusion that's confirmed by a CT scan. There's no other internal bleeding, which is something, but the lung damage is bad enough to require surgery.
Colter doesn't remember calling Reenie – did he call her, or did one of the hospital staff somehow know to get a hold of her?--but suddenly she's there, wrapping her arms around him. Colter returns the hug without thinking, bending his head down to bury it in her shoulder. He doesn't cry.
-
Russell's face is pale and there are dark circles under his eyes and there's a pillow resting on his lap so that he can press it against his ribs when he coughs, but his lips are pink again instead of blue and he smiles tiredly when he sees Colter.
"Hey," he says, voice scratchy from the breathing tube they'd placed during his surgery.
"Hey," Colter says back.
"Shouldn't you be off to your next job by now?"
Colter shrugs. "I'm taking a few weeks off."
Russell's eyes narrow. "I don't need babysitting."
"I'm not staying in your RV. Thing's tiny."
"It's not babysitting, it's...some much needed brotherly bonding. Plus someone needs to make sure you do all your breathing exercises so you don't end up back in here with a chest infection."
"Actually," Colter says, "I've got that all worked out. Reenie will be putting us up for a few weeks until you're back on your feet."
The scowl on Russell's face softens slightly. "...Reenie said she'd let us stay with her?"
Colter suppresses a smile. His brother is unpredictable in most ways, but not all. "Yup. As long as you behave."
Russell breaks into the shit-eating grin that Colter knows all too well. "Yeah, no promises."
Colter rolls his eyes. "Don't think she won't kick your ass just because you're a little under the weather..." He sighs, feeling his smile fade. "I thought you were gonna die. It scared me."
"Oh, come on. It's gonna take more than that to kill me," Russell says, but his expression is...gentle. Sympathetic, maybe? Not teasing, though, which is what Colter had expected. "I'm okay, Colter."
"Maybe now, but all the other times you told me you were fine, you weren't. You can't...you can't do that. I need you to be honest with me. You..." He takes a deep breath. "You lied to me when we were kids, and I get it, I do, but after, we spent so much time apart. I had no idea where you were, if you were—if you were even alive. And I don't want that to happen again. I don't want to lose you because you aren't being honest with me."
Russell just stares at him for a long time, silent, studying him. And then he says, "Okay."
Colter's eyebrows jump up in surprise. "Okay?"
"Okay."
Colter lets out a sigh of relief that turns into a small half-laugh. "Okay."
"I'm sorry I scared you," Russell says. "And, uh...thanks, I guess. For getting things figured out with Reenie so I have someplace to heal up."
Colter shoots him a sly smile. "Yeah, we'll see if you're still thanking me in a week. She runs a strict household."
Russell just shrugs. "Joke's on you, I'm into that shit."
"Shut up," Colter says, reaching forward to smack Russell's knee.
"Hey!" Russell protests. "I'm injured!"
Colter laughs, but there's a sadness underneath it, an undercurrent of regret turning everything bittersweet. He had missed out on so much of this. He knows the novelty of having his brother around is going to wear off quick—Russell has always been a pain in the ass when he's forced to rest—but he's determined to do his best to soak it in. The good and the bad.
While I’m still actively working to finish my longest story yet (Commitment), I spun the whump wheel and the word just wouldn’t leave me alone - so I had to write it. It way less whumpy, and way more steamy though. Need a hot story about this sexy man to start or end the day, read The Unmaking of Control on A03. Leave me a comment with your thoughts!
⋰˚☆ russell x reader (feat. colter) | fluff | 1.7k
⋰˚☆ where you recently began decorating your place for christmas, but since russell got home for the holidays, you start noticing mistletoe everywhere.
⋰˚☆ content: fem!reader, established relationship, russell being his usual flirty self, suggestive / sex references
After what felt like hours of putting up christmas decorations by yourself, you’d finally gotten the living room perfect.
Christmas tree covered in golden lights, a few ornaments here and there, some old tinsel you found in one of your boxes dotted around various rooms. You were happy.
Then… you heard the front door open.
“Honey, I’m home!” Your boyfriend’s voice echoed around.
You couldn’t help the way your eyes rolled as you heard him. Russell seemed to be picking a new greeting to use every time he came back from one of his lengthy trips. Sometimes alone, sometimes with his brother. Who you heard next.
“Nice decorations,” Colter glanced around, sticking his head inside the doorway. “Just saying hi then I’ll be out of your hair.”
You smiled, “thank you, it’s good to see you,” you gave him a quick hug. “Sure you can’t stay for dinner?”
“He’s got another job,” Russell finally entered the room.
You nodded, looking back to Colter, “stay safe out there.”
“Always am,” he smiled. “Make sure you keep out of trouble.”
Colter nudged his brother’s shoulder before moving to leave. Both of you said your goodbyes, asking him to check in when he can. Leaving you and Russell alone as it usually was.
Russell smiled at you, ushering you over to him. Of course you wouldn’t deny him, standing in the doorway as he wrapped his arms around your waist.
“Not hurt anywhere, are you?” You asked, running your hands through his hair. “Colter mentioned a fight over the phone.”
He shook his head, “other guy didn’t know what hit him.”
“Literally or figuratively?”
A small shrug, that usual grin he couldn’t seem to wipe off. You shook your head, just glad he was okay and back home for the holidays now. As long as Colter didn’t call for any close by help.
“Guess what I got on the way back though,” he nodded his head upwards.
Your brow furrowed, eyes trailing upwards where he was looking too. A piece of green plant, a few white berries covering it, and a cute little red bow at the top to tie it all together, hung up above the doorway.
You couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped your lips, looking right at him with a knowing look.
“When did you have time to get this?” You questioned. “When did you put it up? You only just—“
“You were busy talking to Colter,” he reminded. “Gave me time to hang it in prime position.”
His hands ran up and down your sides, until one moved to cup your cheek, “so, do I get a kiss or—“
You leaned up on tip toe, pecking his lips ever so lightly. He seemed dissatisfied, frowning at the very minor kiss you gave him. Not the usual kind you’d give when he’d just come back from a job like this.
“That all I get for helping save someone?” He tugged you flush against him.
“Don’t use the job against me,” you stepped back, folding your arms. “decorations won’t finish themselves.”
He tilted his head, “no but I can finish you—“
A kick to his leg, your eyes wide, “Russ.”
He raised his hands in defence, letting you walk away. Knowing much better than to get in the way of what you were doing before he got back. In his mind, it gave him more time for what he’d been planning all along.
You busied yourself with hallway decorations, some pretty golden lights around the stairway, your small christmas tree next to the front door. Near the back of the hall, you hung some old decorations you had from when you lived at home.
It took you a little while, occupying you to a point that you didn’t question where Russell had gone off to. Until you walked into the kitchen to find him going through one of the cabinets.
“What are you up to now?” You folded your arms. “I assume you didn’t get a sudden urge to cook.”
He held up a rolling pin in his hand, “if you pass me the cookie mix, I’ll have some ready for when you’re done.”
You stared at him for a good minute, deciding he might have been serious. So, you walked over to the cabinet, reached to grab the cookies… when you felt his presence behind you. Hands resting on your hips.
“Can I help you?” You chuckled, swivelling around in his grip.
He had a grin on his face, “might wanna watch where you’re standing.”
His thumb hooked under your chin, tilting it up to the newly placed mistletoe on the ceiling by the cabinet you go in most often. For some food items, plates, things you need for cooking. He knew the spots for his placements.
“Russell.” You folded your arms again.
He pulled you in, kissing you softly, for longer than you did the first time. A smile on your face as he pulled away. You couldn’t help the blush that rose on your cheeks after, something that still seemed to happen even though you’d kissed many times before.
“I’ll get out the way,” he promised, placing a kiss on your forehead. “Gonna go change. Be in the bedroom if you need me, sweetheart.”
“Mhm,” you narrowed your eyes at him.
He laughed on the way out, walking down the hall and you did hear him going upstairs. Maybe he was done with this mistletoe mischief. But then again, he was always getting up to something.
Trying not to think about it, you put up a few decorations in the kitchen, nothing huge. While doing so, you heard Russell in the bathroom, floor creaking in the bedroom. At least you knew he really was behaving now, sorting himself out after a long job.
Eventually, you finished downstairs, picking up the box of decorations to take upstairs with you. Just a few little things for your bedroom to place around, things you put up every year.
Pushing the door open to the bedroom, Russell was awkwardly standing at the bathroom door, leaning against the wall. You placed your box down on the bed, eyes on his as he cleared his throat, seeming to watch your every move.
“Something you wanna tell me, babe?” You took out some christmas lights, twisting them around the headboard of your bed.
He shook his head, “just that we— should order in,” he quickly thought of. “Pizza? Yea? I’ll go order.”
Before you could answer, he was out of the room. You knew he’d done something, nothing in your direct eye-line. The room seemed clean. Weird.
Once you’d finished with decorating, you forgot about the way he was acting. Talking normally as you ate the pizza, him telling you how the job went, about the guy he got into a fight with as well as asking how the past few days had been for you while he’d been gone.
It was only once you both decided it was time to call it a night, that you figured out why he was acting the way he was earlier.
Stood at the bathroom counter, toothbrush in hand as you cleaned your teeth, you were sure something green fell down into the sink. You paused, looking down, seeing a tiny, green leaf. One that looked like it was from…
Mistletoe.
“Russel.” You called, looking up at the mistletoe taped high up on the ceiling. “Get your ass in here.”
He pushed the door open, looking towards you, seeing what you had found. His feet carried him over towards you, hands on your shoulders as he made eye contact through the mirror.
“Why is there mistletoe above the sink?” You placed your toothbrush down, wiping your mouth on your towel.
“So I can do this—“ he kissed your cheek, adding a few kisses on your jaw and neck. “You know, if we’re getting ready at the same time in the mornings.”
You stepped backwards, back pressing against his chest. You angled your head back to look at him, “creative, I’ll give you that.”
“Least I could do to give my girl some extra kisses.”
He walked backwards, winking as he gave you your privacy to finish getting ready.
Now, you were sure that must’ve been the last of the mistletoe in the house. You couldn’t think of anywhere else he could put some. Then again, you’d never underestimate the things Russell would get up to.
When you walked out of the bathroom, he was already in bed, waiting for you to climb in beside him. He smiled, holding his arm out for you to come and lay with him.
You shuffled over to him, letting him wrap his arms around you. You leaned up to him, kissing his cheek, letting out a calm sigh after. He brushed your hair back, hand lingering for a moment.
“It’s good to have you home, baby,” you whispered before hugging him. “The mistletoe is cute too, I won’t complain about extra affection.”
“Yea?” He responded, a hint of something more in his voice. “I’m glad you say that, because I’ve got one more for you.”
You leaned up, seeing as his eyes flicked up to the ceiling once more. You followed him, and lo and behold, one more piece of mistletoe taped to the ceiling directly above the bed.
“You are unbelievable,” a disbelieving smile covered your face.
“Maybe,” he pushed you onto your back gently, caging you in as he got comfortable between your legs. “This one means more than a kiss though, sweetheart.”
Redness covered your cheeks, heart speeding up slightly, Russell making you flustered as he often did. You hadn’t expected all of this planning from him though, especially not through the use of a christmas tradition.
“This mean… every night?” You thought to test him.
He was caught off guard by the question, “uh, just means— whenever you want, pretty girl,” he came up with an answer, something you might like the sound of.
You nodded, perhaps his mischief paying off, “I like this mistletoe,” you wrapped your arms around his neck.
“Thought you would,” Russell kissed your lips softly, deepening it shortly after.
You’d been excited for Russell to be home for the holidays, no jobs, no worrying about him getting hurt or where he was for this short period. Never did you expect he’d come home with added mischief.
Not that you could ever complain.
taglist: @icpsammy @lollyybunny @biancalinkas @deerplaygroundpoetsflowers13 @rott3ndesire @vodkanoredbull | if you would like to join my jackles characters taglist, please comment here or see this post
Summary: When your boyfriend comes back into town acting different and won't tell you what's wrong, you jump to an extreme conclusion, and use an unusual form of punishment to get some answers. Saturday morning at the supermarket just got a little bit more interesting...
Tropes: Established Relationship, Suspected Cheating, Fluff
Word Count: 5K
Warnings: References to Sex, Sexual innuendo, Kissing, Cursing, Little bit of self-deprecating thought (reader), Jealousy, Supposed Cheating? Embarrassing Situation at a Supermarket? Inappropriate Use of Potatoes? Cheesy Potato Jokes? I think that's everything? This one is more fluffy than anything else.
Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is no use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!
Internal monologue is in italics and is in first person.
Main Masterlist
Prompt Celebration Masterlist
A/N: This is another prompt requested for my prompt celebration by my lovely friend @zepskies 💗 Thank you so much for sending this one in! Alright, I know this entire situation is just CRAZY, but it really did make me cackle to think up another way of using potatoes. 🥔
“Would the owner of a red Prius with a bumper sticker that says ‘Driver Picks The Music, Shotgun Shuts His Cakehole’ please come to the customer service desk?” A nasally voice crackles over the intercom, halting the sound of “Heaven Is A Place On Earth” that plays over the loudspeaker in the supermarket. “Again, would the owner of a red Prius with the-”
The rest of the message is drowned out in the high pitched squeak of a shopping cart against terrazzo two aisles away, the smell of cinnamon and fresh bread that floats from the bakery, and the chatter that buzzes up over the towering shelves of food.
Saturday was meal prep day, which meant that you spent your morning weaving your cart in and out of the crowded grocery store one block away from your apartment buying everything you needed for the week.
But despite how long it took, grocery shopping never felt like a chore because you believed it gave you a snap-shot into someone else’s life.
You spent all those Saturday mornings watching other people and creating stories for them in your head. Why they bought something, who they were shopping for, noticing who they were shopping with, wondering what they would cook-
It was intimate, feeling the world slow down for just a few moments to live in the present with them.
Noticing a man on the phone in the feminine hygiene section talking to an unseen entity, watching a little girl eat an apple while her mother reaches up for a box of cheerios, waiting in line behind a guy with only a box of condoms and spearmint gum in his basket, hearing a girl hum a little too loud and dance to the song blasting from her headphones as she shopped, and walking behind a woman in a power suit who studied a grocery list scrawled on a scrap of paper.
They were all going somewhere, all moving forward with their day and yet you all shared this single moment of serendipity, to be in the same place at the same time.
Unfortunately, today you were not enjoying it one bit and it had everything to do with the man standing at the end of your shopping cart studying an alarming amount of avocados with a blank expression.
Something was wrong.
You knew that the second your boyfriend, Russell, had come home. He’d been on a case with Colter a few states away, pulled from your arms in the middle of the night when he got an S.O.S from his younger brother, and because the two of you had been dating long distance comfortably for the better part of three years, you could tell that there was something seriously bothering him.
But you didn’t know what.
It was the first time in your entire relationship that you couldn’t tell what Russell was thinking and all it did was frustrate you further.
He was distant, moody, and on edge. You’d never seen him like this before, not even when you brought him home to meet your family for Christmas last year. Sure, he’d been a little jittery and you’d made a joke about him being more afraid to meet your dad than he was to face a convoy of armed guards, but Russell was not like this ever.
Your boyfriend was calm, collected, and smooth (too much sometimes, but you weren’t complaining). What he was not was jumpy and nervous. It took a lot to rattle him given what he’d been through. That’s why you were worried, because the man standing at the end of your shopping cart was not your boyfriend.
Maybe he got body snatched while he was out of town?
The idea that aliens had come down and taken the man you loved hostage was one of the only possible reasons why he was acting so odd.
Russell had barely said two words to you since he’d dragged himself into the apartment last night. He had gone straight into the bathroom for a shower, not bothering the usual running joke the two of you had when he would throw you over his shoulder and bring you with him for a well deserved bit of R and R.
And when he’d come out of the shower, a vision in a small bright pink towel tied around his waist, his bare chest glistening in the dim light of your bedroom, dark hair dripping wet and hanging forward to frame his chiseled jaw, while the mist from the warm water floated behind him and framed the beautiful man that you couldn't believe was yours, it made you feel so warm it rivaled Mt. Vesuvius before it blew.
You’d wanted to demonstrate how much you’d missed him, and you’d tried whispering sweet nothings into his ear while your fingers tickled along the edge of the towel, but Russell had kissed you on your forehead, pried away the curious fingers, and said that he was “tired.”
It made your blood run cold.
Reunion sex was the best tradition the two of you had, something you both appreciated and that fact that he’d said “no,” raised a red flag in the back of your mind the size of Texas. Russell never said no to sex, especially not after a long period of separation.
He’d gotten stabbed a year ago while on a mission, spent two nights in the hospital following a surgery (where he complained the whole time about how he didn’t need to be there), and when you brought him home and he started to get a little friendly, you told him that you didn’t think that sex was a good idea, that he needed to rest, but he’d said that it was “just a graze” and then made love to you for an hour.
Sure, you’d done most of the work, he was in recovery for goodness sake, and you didn’t want to rip his stitches… but this was different.
Russell was avoiding your gaze, acting fidgety, and when you’d tried to kiss him, Russell had opted to shift his face away to give you a quick kiss on the forehead instead.
And as much as you liked a good forehead kiss, you hadn’t seen Russell in over a week and all you wanted was a heated kiss that made you lose feeling in your legs and forget that he was gone at all.
You didn’t know what you did wrong and you tried to think of something that you could have done to make him angry or annoyed with you, but there wasn’t a single thing. The last time that you’d spoken to Russell was late four days ago and he’d told you how excited he was to see you and that he missed you.
But then why is he acting like this?
Russell pulls his phone out of his pocket and taps something quickly on the screen that’s angled away from you, his movements swift and to the point. But you note a small smile pulling at the end of his mouth. It was the first time you’d seen him smile since he got home.
You felt unsettled, anxiety thrumming and prickling along your skin like pop rocks.
You wanted Russell to talk to you. It wasn’t like him to keep things inside, if something was bothering him he was upfront about it, not passive aggressive. He didn’t slam every cabinet in your apartment or leave all the drawers in the bathroom open when the two of you were in a fight, Russell would tell you what pissed him off.
Usually it was you that drove him crazy, but he’d always said he liked it, kept him “on his toes,” and made him feel like a lion tamer in a circus.
An audible sigh comes through your lips, but Russell doesn’t look at you, instead he continues to tap something on his phone.
It reminded you of what you’d discovered him doing early this morning.
You’d woken up at four am, call it fate or just one of those random moments your body woke up before your mind did, but when you realized that you were alone, it made you uneasy.
In the three years you’d been together, Russell couldn’t keep his hands to himself, especially when he was asleep. That meant each time you woke up, Russell was laying on top of you, his strong arms wrapped around you in a bear hug, while he nuzzled his head into your hair and murmured things in his sleep you couldn’t understand.
It was your safe place, somewhere that felt unbreakable.
Entwined in Russell’s arms in the early morning with his warm body tensed around yours was better than a fluffy blanket on a cold day, better than a hot cup of cocoa that drove away a nightmare, and better than slipping into the gentle embrace of a familiar book.
It was always you that had to convince Russell to let you out of bed while he begged for another five minutes, not the other way around.
However, this morning you’d woken up to an empty bed with sheets long cold and found Russell sitting on the threadbare couch in the living room of your apartment talking on his phone in a hushed whisper.
The only words that you’d been able to make out were: “No, I haven’t talked to her yet honey.”
Your entire body had gone cold with one sentence. You had no idea who he was talking to or what Russell had to “talk” to you about, but all you could focus on was that he called whoever it was, “honey.”
It made an uncomfortable lump settle in the back of your throat. You didn’t want to believe that your boyfriend was cheating on you, but there was a little part of you that had begun to unravel, a thread in the back of your mind unwinding as you put together all the clues that Russell had given you since he came back.
The suspicious phone call, the fact that he didn’t want to make love, Russell acting distant and jumpy-
It didn’t bode well.
The thought of losing him made you want to throw up.
Russell was the place of refuge you went to when your world fell apart, and without him you didn’t know how to function. Before him your life was organized into neat little boxes and checklists, but Russell had shown you that you couldn’t control everything in your life, he brought a reassuring and welcome disorder that made you feel alive in the best way. He helped you embrace the chaos to make a life worth living.
The thought of going back to the mundane world you knew before Russell where all the men seemed to be carbon-cut frat boy copies of one another, or wanted a cookie cutter life with a woman who never spoke her mind, or never called back, never offered to pay for dinner, and never opened doors for you filled you with dread.
So you decided to go grocery shopping to clear your head and to get away from Russell for a little bit. It was the first time that you’d wanted to be away from him in all the years you’d known him and it broke your heart. Unfortunately, Russell had insisted on coming with you.
It was the only normal thing he'd done since he got back. Russell liked to do things with you no matter how mundane they would have sounded to someone else. Going to pick up the dry cleaning? Sign him up! Going to get some new thread for your sewing machine? Check! When Russell was back in town, he was back and nothing stopped him from being with you.
You would have found comfort in him coming with you if he wasn't acting lost.
The drive in his car to the supermarket had been silent and awkward, every conversation you tried to start when Russell came to a stop at a light lost in the wind. And even now Russell followed behind you like a zombie there, but not quite present.
It was an even bigger red flag, because the old Russell who came with you to the grocery store was incapable of walking down an aisle without finding one thing that he wanted. Whether it be an oversized bag of sour gummy worms or a new brand of sriracha flavored potato chips, your boyfriend was insufferable when you brought him, and you loved every second of it.
But not today.
He hadn’t said a word since you left the apartment, he even walked past the peaches without making an obligatory butt joke, and you still couldn’t think about the joke he’d made about the eggplant the last time he came with you without blushing.
Today all Russell did was stand there, his hands in his pockets, staring at the avocados, and his muscles tense beneath his army jacket as if he was anticipating something you couldn’t see.
Like a break up.
The thought made you clench your jaw together so tight you worried about the possibility of TMJ.
The urge to say something, anything was building in your chest, but you didn’t know how to start a conversation without crying or cussing him out using the colorful vocabulary you’d adopted after you met him.
The longer you stood, the more the thought of Russell cheating on you with someone else began to stitch its way into your head. Warped images of Russell in a dingy motel room along the road with a faceless woman in bed, rolling around with her for hours, the two of them laughing at your expense flashed through your mind on a sickening reel. The sentence you heard him say into the phone bouncing around in your head like a rubber ball.
His phone buzzes in his hand again, and your boyfriend’s smile widens before he types something out.
Before the two of you had started dating, Russell had been talking to Reenie regularly. Reenie with her perfect black hair, clear skin, tight pencil skirts, pristine power suits, and beautiful smile. Reenie who's badass lawyer skills made what you do for a living seem dull in comparison. Reenie who was so much of a grown up you felt like a little girl watching her mother get dressed for work.
The faceless woman in bed with your boyfriend at a motel adopts Reenie’s physique and a roar of jealousy vibrates in your head so loud it might as well be a swarm of angry bees.
Frustration, hurt, heartbreak, and anger formed a hard ball in the base of your throat and before you can stop yourself, you pick up the nearest object, a potato, and throw it as hard as you can at your boyfriend.
It hits him between his shoulder blades, glancing off his muscular back, before landing on the concrete floor with an audible thud.
You’d been aiming a little higher, but it does the trick, and it makes you feel a little bit better.
“What the hell?!” Russell turns to stare at you, showing more emotion than he has in the past 12 hours since he got back home. “Did you just throw a potato at me?”
“Yes!”
“Why?”
“Because I-” You hesitate.
You didn’t want to come out and say it, it was too terrible for you to think about. The man you loved, your best friend, cheating on you, especially after how long the two of you have been together. Instead of answering you pick up another potato.
“Whoa!” Russell holds up his hands in surrender, cracking a signature half-grin that causes another fissure to open in your heart. It was the first time that he’d genuinely smiled at you since he got back. “Didn’t think potatoes were on the list today Sweetheart.”
“They are now!” You throw it at him, but Russell ducks. The potato sails through the air past him and lands in a colorful tub of summer squash, jarring a produce clerk restocking a display of apples nearby.
You reload.
“Baby wait!” Russell half ducks behind the cart, preparing for battle. Confusion and a little bit of humor flash in his eyes. “Can you please tell me what’s wrong before you beam me with Mr. Potato-head?”
“You know!” The rough skin of the potato grates against your skin as your grip tightens.
“No, I don’t.” His gaze flicks to the projectile in your hand. “I mean, I like french fries as much as the next guy, but that’s still a little raw.”
You could feel your frustration and heartbreak swirling and beating into a wildfire in your chest, burning in the air around you as the image of Russell and Reenie writhing in bed together comes skittering back into your mind. Granted, there was a part of you that knew playing dodgeball with potatoes in the grocery store was ridiculous, but you were so upset about what you thought your boyfriend was doing that it was difficult to form the words to express it.
And throwing potatoes at him seemed like the only option.
"Please put the potato down." Russell says, still half crouched behind the grocery cart.
“No!” You take aim at his head, cocking up your arm for the next throw.
“Can you at least tell me what’s wrong?” Russell’s hands are still up in front of him, anticipating your throw, preparing to duck if need be, but his green eyes glint with a playful mirth. “Or are you going to show me what happens when good potatoes go bad?”
He looked like your Russell again, not some statue of the man you were in love with as he had the past few hours. It was infuriating that this was the thing that made him return to normal and not anything else that had happened in the 12 hours since he'd gotten home.
This time you find your words.
“Who is she!?” You screech so loud that everyone in the produce department stops to look over at Russell and you.
They were probably already watching given the fact that you’d thrown two potatoes at him and were about to unleash a third at any moment. You really hoped that you didn’t end up on the internet or the news, especially because your mother watched it religiously and would call to say “I told you so” about Russell. Ever since you’d brought him home she’d call to ask if you’d broken up with him yet. He still hadn’t won her over and this wouldn’t get him any brownie points.
“What?” Russell’s smile slips into a confused frown.
“Who is she?!”
By now the song “Heaven Is A Place On Earth” has begun to play again over the loudspeakers, the familiar tune echoing above the sounds of the supermarket.
“Who is who?”
“The girl you’re cheating on me with!”
“What?” Hurt flashes in his eyes followed quickly by surprise. “You think I’m cheating on you? Really? After everything we’ve been through together baby?”
“Don’t you baby me Russell Shaw! You’ve been acting weird since you got back! Avoiding my gaze, acting twitchy, not talking to me, refusing to touch me! Saying that you’re too tired to make love!” That last part you hadn’t meant to shout as loud as you could in the middle of a grocery store on the busiest shopping day of the week.
The elderly woman shopping for cucumbers on the opposite side of the produce display looks up to watch the two of you. Her eyes drag appreciatively over your boyfriend before picking up a large cucumber from the pile.
“You think I’m cheating on you because I told you I was tired?” Russell huffs out a laugh. “Baby, I get tired, I’m not a machine-”
“And I heard your little conversation this morning on the phone.” You continue, not smiling, your fingernails curling into the rough skin of the potato in your hand.
You hated that he wasn’t taking any of this seriously. Russell was laid back yes, but even he knew better than to tease you when you were angry, and Russell himself understood when his care-free attitude left little to be desired when you were furious with him.
“No, I haven’t talked to her yet honey!” You mimic his voice holding up the potato above your head, the axe over a head on a chopping block.
Hot frustrated tears roll down your cheek, the urge to sob catching under your rib cage, but you swallow it down.
A part of you wished that you were more calm and collected, not standing in the produce section of your local grocery store with a potato clutched in your hand like mjolnir, crying.
“Sweetheart-” He sighs and extends his hand towards you, intending to bring you some comfort. Some of his hair has fallen forward to frame his face in the commotion, and in a perfect world you would have brushed it back with a gentle smile and a kiss to the tip of his nose, but not this one.
Heaven is most certainly not a place on earth.
“No, don't touch me!” You flinch away from his outstretched hands, taking a shaky step backwards, tennis shoes squeaking against the floor. The image of him and Reenie was back, festering beneath your skin, followed by the sound of him whispering on the phone this morning.
His concerned frown drops into hurt and if your heart wasn’t already broken, that would have done it, seeing Russell look at you that way.
You’d never deprived him of your touch or the ability to touch you. Something that you’d learned early in your relationship was that deep down Russell longed for more than just one night, more than just a random fling with a woman late at night. He wanted something permanent, especially after he'd spent his entire life having the world slip between his fingers.
He’d had to learn how to be self-sufficient from an early age and deprived himself of what he really wanted for so long. But then he’d met you.
You knew deep in your heart that Russell longed for your touch and you in more ways than one. Not just for his pleasure, but the gentle lean of your head against his arm when you watched tv or the brace of your hand against his shoulder when you needed to push past him in the small hallway of your apartment or the warm embrace you gave him in the night when he came back to you. For you to take it away from him hurt more than you could ever know.
He’d had a handful of relationships, but none of them were as long as the one the two of you had and it made you feel proud to know that you were changing things for him, and that you were showing him what a healthy long lasting relationship looked like.
That was until you started lobbing potatoes at him in the produce department on your favorite shopping day of the week.
“Please, listen to me.” He pleads. This time he doesn’t try to touch you, but hurt flashes through his eyes again.
It was enough to almost make you cave. You didn’t want to believe that Russell would cheat on you, he never seemed the type for that. Sure he was flirty and spent a long time away from you, but you had trusted him because you’d believed that Russell honored your relationship the same way you did.
“Why should I? It all makes sense. You’ve been acting distant since you got back, you won’t touch me, you won’t even kiss me-”
“Can you please listen to me for one second?” He interrupts before running his hand through his hair to give it something to do, avoiding the urge to reach out for you again.
“No, I don't want to hear any of your excuses!”
Russell says your name in a frustrated tone. “It was my sister on the phone this morning.”
“Do you always talk to your sister at 4 am? Or oh, maybe it was Jake from Statefarm!” You roll your eyes. “How stupid do you think I am?”
“I don’t think you’re stupid. I’ve never thought you were stupid. It was Dory!”
“Then what was so important at 4 am that you couldn’t wait to talk to her?”
“Oh for the love of- This!” Russell thrusts his hand into the pocket of his army jacket, before he shoves something into your empty hand.
Your gaze falls to the small blue velvet box cradled in your palm, looking at it for a minute too long, the angry tornado inside making it hard to process what it is.
“Russell? What is this?”
“I called Dory because I needed her to give me a pep talk. I was too much in my head last night. And when I asked Colter the other day he didn’t help at all.” He cracks a small smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I wasn’t too surprised by that, my brother has never been as smooth or as smart as me.”
“To do what?” You ask hesitantly.
Russell hesitates, measuring what he's going to say. The foreign nervous glint is back in your boyfriend's gaze, the one you'd seen since he came back. The same one that made you think your boyfriend had been abducted by aliens.
“Propose.” Russell rubs the back of his neck looking sheepish. “I was going to do this somewhere special, you know? Outside that taco truck we like or at least over dinner. Not a damn grocery store.”
You thought you were going to die of shock right there.
“You were going to propose?” Your voice comes out a little hesitant and squeaky. The potato in your other hand drops to the floor, the sound of it hitting the concrete thunderous.
“Yeah. That’s why I had to tack on a few extra days to my trip. I wanted to talk to your dad in person, this didn’t seem like the kinda thing to ask over the phone.”
“What?” Your mouth drops open in surprise. “You asked my dad?”
Russell nods. “I was surprised he said yes. I don’t think I’m exactly a favorite when it comes to you parents.” He huffs out an awkward laugh, his green eyes twinkling with amusement. “I didn’t mean to be so distant, but I wanted it to be perfect. And each time I tried to think of a way to do it or try to figure out what to say I couldn’t. That’s a first for me Sweetheart, we both know that I don’t have any problems talking.”
Oh my damn, I literally accused him of cheating. I’m a terrible person.
“I was tired last night.” Russell continues. “But I did want to make love, fuck baby, I always want to make love to you, but I was worried that I would propose to you at the wrong time.”
“The wrong time?” You swipe the back of your hand over your cheeks with a sniffle.
“We both know that I’m not good at controlling what I say when you’ve got your hands all over me. Especially not when you’re in my lap riding me to high heaven.” Russell’s smirk makes your cheeks flush.
There’s an awkward silence that fills the air between the two of you as your gaze drops to the box in your hand.
I don’t deserve him.
“Are you sure that you still want to marry me? Even after I thought you were cheating?” The question comes out in a whisper, guilt tugging at your heart.
You hated that you’d treated him that way, assumed that he would be the kind of guy to cheat on you. Deep down in your heart you knew that Russell wasn’t the type, but it made you feel even more guilty for accusing him of that.
Russell steps forward reaching out to you, but hesitates, his smile faltering. “Can I touch you now?”
“Yes.”
The relieved sigh that he releases when he pulls you into his tight embrace makes more tears spill from your red eyes. You hated that you’d said that to him, that you’d deprived him of the one thing he needed since the moment the two of you met. He tucks you into the little you-shaped nook between his shoulder and his throat, arms wrapping around you warm and familiar. It feels more like home than anywhere else.
“Baby, nothing’s going to stop me from that. You could be a zombie with rotting lips infested with maggots and I’d still be the luckiest guy on the planet because I got to marry you.” His words rumble up his chest against your cheek.
“And you thought you didn’t have anything romantic to say.” You say with a giggle, squeezing him tight.
“Zombies? That’s what does it for you?” Your boyfriend's chuckle shakes your body as his hand smoothes over your back, the motion calming your racing heart.
You sniffle out a laugh, nuzzling further into his chest. By now you were sure there were tears and snot on his t-shirt, but Russell doesn’t care, not when he has you in his arms again.
“So is this a yes or are you just feeling really sorry for throwing potatoes at me?” He murmurs into the top of your head.
“Say yes sweetie, or I will.” The elderly woman who was shopping for cucumbers stage whispers from your left.
You didn’t know that she was still standing there, but all it did was bring a wave of embarrassment over you thinking of everything that you’d yelled at your boyfriend and done with the potatoes at your local grocery store.
Damn it, I’m going to have to start shopping somewhere else.
You pull back from Russell’s chest to stare up into the warm gaze of the man who’d always been there for you. “Yes.” You nod.
The kiss he gives you is the one that you wanted when he came home. The rough scrape of beard against soft skin, the tangle of his tongue in your mouth, the warmth that bubbles up from the deep to swallow you whole as you lose yourself in the man you love, and the soft gasp that comes when Russell drags you further into him with a growl that rumbles through his muscular chest.
“Now can we please go back to the apartment?” He rasps, warm hands holding on to your cheeks as if you’re going to slip away, his green eyes darkening with his words before they rake across your body. “I’d like to celebrate our engagement the old fashioned way. Unless you want to keep playing hot-potato?”
“No. We can go home.”
“Baby-” Russell rumbles once more, leaning his forehead against yours. “We’re already there.”
A/N: See happy endings all around! Thank you again @zepskies for asking me for this prompt and letting me explore another story with Russell! Daydreaming and writing about him never gets old 👀
Thank you so much for reading! Likes, Reblogs, and Comments are not required, but are always appreciated! I love hearing what y'all think! 😊 If you'd liked to be added to my general Jensen Ackles Character taglist or my Russell Shaw taglist please let me know!