Mar 21, 2025
you literally never know what you're going to find in trade chat
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you literally never know what you're going to find in trade chat
since everyone else is doing it, heres some gems from my screenshots folder
Unpopular Opinions on Warframe: The Tropes of Trade Chat
God, I already have a headache...
Trade chat serves a purpose on Warframe, there is no denying it. With an economy as multi-faceted as this one, it's common sense DE would make a place for the buying and selling of parts, mods, rivens, etc. Unfortunately, (With a few beautiful exceptions) it is populated with the "unappreciated" members of the community. These are the people who push one's patience to new and groundbreaking limits, and continue to raise and/or lower the bar every day. They tend to come in several flavours:
The Classic Noob - Has no idea what they're doing. Asks "how do you make the item blue", and will try and sell you the unprimed frame blueprint they got from an assassination. Generally harmless, gets poked fun at by some and gently corrected by others. May get embarrassed and block you if you try and help.
The Faux-It-All - Has been playing for 2 months and is convinced he knows literally everything about the market. Will send unsolicited messages criticizing your prices, and goes into lengthy explanations as to why the Nexus stats are bullshit. Has a maximum of 300p at any given time and fancies himself a professional warframe stock broker. Will probably burn out in a month.
The Chad - "WTB ur mom" Has a GT like xXVapelordWolnir420Xx. Sells sets like Braton Prime for 200p or more unironically, yet makes offers on your high-end items as if they actually were a Braton Prime set. Usually calls you a colourful slur when you turn them down. Quits the game shortly after being commbanned for aforementioned language.
The Opportunist - Actively hunts down inexperienced sellers and convinces/bullies them into selling things at prices that would get you a "One Like = One Prayer" post on Facebook. Sells sub-par rivens as "god rolls", knowing full well that it will attract players who don't know any better. Makes posts that read like a 1980's used car commercial, complete with quirky humour! Called out on their shit, and shrugs it off because "that's the game".
The Jaded Veteran - They're just trying to keep skins on their frames at this point. Mainly sells rivens and arcanes, since that's where the plat is at. Takes advantage of prime releases and resells at cringeworthy markups. Not an idiot, but plays one very well. Asks "hm?" even when you made it blatantly clear you're looking for offers. Expects trade chat to be more like Wal-Mart, with prices upfront and unchanging. Switched from Destiny to Warframe because they hate Bungie, but complains that DE has "completely fucked the game." Needs a nap.
The Google Translate - They are playing in a community of English speakers, with little to no knowledge of English. Can fall into any of the other categories, with only cultural markers to differentiate. Will confuse the everliving shit out of you with a question on your item, and then possibly never respond. NOT A BAD PERSON, JUST A BAD EXPERIENCE. Sometimes it's better to just stick with what you know. Ten bucks says I'll be called a bigot, but you know it's accurate.
The Panhandler - Literally the worst of the lot. Convinced themselves that if they beg enough, people will give them items and in-game currency on a FTP game. They are aware that the game gives you EVERY GODDAMN OPPORTUNITY TO EARN PLATINUM, but choose to spam chat for handouts like a shameless hobo. They tend to get worse during the holidays what with Tennobaum and the wild gifting. Probably kicked out of multiple clans for expecting free shit. Which leads me to...
The Youtube/Twitch Thot - A rare breed, but one who's presence is ALWAYS known in trade chat. Streams their trades, because who WOULDN'T wanna watch something so exciting?! Legitimately believes that their non-existent internet fame entitles them to free shit and/or discounts in exchange for a shout out. Usually commbanned after spamming their channel too much.
The Blesséd Child: These are the angels of mercy within the hell that is trade chat. Legitimately just wanna make a little plat and buy shit. No schemes, no lies, no ulterior motives. Good guys and gals who will come correct, or at least ask sincere questions. Even if they don't buy, the experience tends to be pleasant enough. You might even end up with a friend request when all is said and done.
Of course, each case is different and you may deal with people who fall into one, multiple, or even none of these categories. Trade chat is like any other flea market: it's dirty, everyone is convinced their shit is worth more than it is, and "buyer's remorse" may as well be it's official religion.
But despite it all, you'll probably come back day in and day out, looking for that perfect sale...
At least that's the excuse I give myself.