Mar 9, 2016
Top Ten Top Tip Train Travelling Titbits
1. Always, I repeat, always never travel by train.
2. When travelling by train, stop travelling by train.
3. See that emergency alarm? Pull it.
4. Physically threaten the ticket inspector to ensure he does not check your ticket, because you don't have a ticket, because the british train service does not deserve a penny from you.
5. Free gum can be found under all the seats.
6. When travelling in an almost empty coach, make sure to snuggle up next to a fellow passenger to ensure they don't become lonely.
7. Never travel wearing clothes.
8. Only travel in a hazmat suit.
9. I wouldn't go on a train in Germany.
10. Trust those electronic toilet locks. They add an edge of tension to any lavatorial experience.