Merry Christmas @tranakinskywalker420!
Read it on Ao3
“Elphie, Elphie, Elphie!” Galinda squealed excitedly as she burst into their shared room.
“What?” Elphaba asked, looking up from her book.
Galinda had a mischievous look to her that Elphaba secretly adored, but would never admit to doing so. It meant Galinda had an idea, which would inevitably distract Elphaba from studying. It was beyond her how Galinda, who always found time for one more prank, game or excursion, got passing grades in all her classes.
“Well,” her pretty roommate continued in a tone that she probably considered mysterious, “you know how I am amazing and charming and know the best people, right?” The illusion of grand mystery dispersed further as Galinda couldn’t hold a little impatient giggle at the end of the phrase. Elphaba was about to make a joke about it, but held her tongue as she saw a magnificent, if brief, smile that Galinda shot her, reassuring her that she, Elphaba Thropp, was indeed part of the “best people”.
“Sure,” she said, therefore.
“And so, one amazing person I just happen to know in town, got me this today!” Galinda whipped something out of her uniform’s pocket and did her little hair twirl, which she taught (or at least tried to teach) Elphaba the first day after they had become friends. “Isn’t it wonderful?”
“I don’t know what…” Elphaba said and then cut herself off. “You went to town? But you know it’s against the rules!”
“Oh, Elphie, don’t be so booooring,” Galinda said in a tone that made being boring sound like the most egregious of sins. “Just wait until you see what it is!” She tossed the object, and it landed squarely in Elphaba’s lap.
It was a simple brown pouch, practical, but not pretty, a little dirt stuck to its bottom and a rough string tying it at the neck. It was so unlike anything Galinda owned, that part of Elphaba was surprised the other girl even touched it.
No. She thought. I mustn't think of her that way. She is not all satin and soap bubbles, she is a person and not a caricature of the traits of her character. I will not treat her as such.
Upon touching the pouch, a cold feeling washed over Elphaba and made her eyes suddenly prickle, as if with tears. Whatever object or substance was inside, it was magical. Galinda concentrated all the weight of her focused stare on Elphaba as if her opening that pouch was the most important thing in the world. She did that sometimes. It was, frankly, disconcerting.
Inside was a pile of glittering silver powder. It was, Elphaba thought absently, exactly the color she had always imagined magic to be.
“Feneros! Supposed to make you happier for a while and things like that. It’s heavily regulated, of course, as all magical substances are, but my friend tells me it’s nothing,” Galinda informed her cheerfully, “I figured,” she said, as she leaned down to take Elphaba by the hands and look into her eyes, “we could try it. Together.”
“We’ve got Natural History in fifteen minutes,” Elphaba said dryly.
“Exactly! Who could survive an hour and a half listening to professor Poppyseed drone on about beetles without a little happiness boost?”
“Well, I happen to like Natural History,” Elphaba retorted, “and maybe if you didn’t spend all your time looking wistfully at Fiyero you would too!”
“Elphie!” Galinda exclaimed, alarmed. “I haven’t been looking wistfully at Fiyero for weeks now! You didn’t notice?” There seemed to be genuine disappointment in her voice, so Elphaba hastened to lighten the mood, as some inexplicable knot untied inside her chest.
“I’m just teasing,” she said, “we can try your magical happiness powder in the evening.”
“Okay! You promised, remember!” Galinda laughed and swept out the door, shouting, “Catch up!” and leaving Elphaba to hastily gather her things and rush after her friend.
***
It was dusk and both of them sat on Galinda’s bed. The flames of the scented candles around them (of course she had scented candles packed when she went to Shiz, what a silly question) flickered on the nightstands and drawers. Galinda declared, with surprising pomp for such a ridiculous statement, that her bed was “much more comfortable and better suited for trying out new and exciting things” and Elphaba wasn’t in the mood to argue. They sat cross-legged on the white-and-gold covers, the mystical pouch between them. Elphaba, feeling a certain weight of responsibility from her continuing education in magic, opened it carefully. The fine silver powder flashed and glimmered with many colors in the candlelight, reminding Elphaba of the bubbles that Munchkinland children so loved or, perhaps, of the stones from somewhere far away, that she had once seen in her father’s study. It was cold, but not overly so, the feeling distinctly magical.
“So?” Galinda asked impatiently.
“It’s enchanted,” Elphaba said, “I can’t tell you more than that. We will try using a small amount first, to see how our bodies react to it.”
Galinda scooped up some of the drug impatiently and put her hand to her lips. Elphaba did the same and then two pairs of eyes lit up in understanding, as instead of inhaling, two girls blew on their powder, sending two silver clouds toward each other.
Galinda’s breath and a whiff of some floral perfume hit Elphaba’s nose a moment before the drug did. She inhaled and immediately felt an intense, but oddly refreshing feeling wash over her, and then the strange sensation of something popping inside her head, every thought and feeling becoming starkly clear, even weighty. Her vision became sharper too, the candle flames no longer blurred around the edges. Perhaps she just needed new glasses.
“I don’t like it,” Galinda said in a disappointed voice, “it’s supposed to make me happier, but instead I just feel… Sharp inside. Oh, and I might be sick. At least, everything is greener for some reason.”
“Maybe it just takes a little while to kick in,” Elphaba said placatingly, “we should do something. Maybe Truth or Dare? It’s simple enough and you like it.”
“Oh yes!” Galinda exclaimed and clapped her hands, “Thank you so so much for doing this with me, Elphie! You are the best!”
“You go first,” Elphaba offered generously.
“Oh, very well. Truth or Dare?”
“Dare,” Elphaba felt another pop in the back of her skull and absent-mindedly wondered how much of what she felt was due to her magical talent and how much was just the natural effect of the powder, but the thought was quickly snuffed out and forgotten.
“Do your magic trick,” Galinda commanded and Elphaba obliged, summoning the correct thoughts and feelings to her mind. It was surprisingly easy. A not-quite controlled gust of wind leaped from her fingers in the direction of Galinda’s face. For all that Galinda has not exhibited any magical ability, Elphaba’s magic seemed naturally drawn to her. The wind ruffled Galinda’s hair, throwing it in her face.
“Do you have any idea how much time I spent on this hairstyle?” Galinda asked mock-angrily.
“About fifteen minutes this morning, while I was reviewing my notes for Dr Dillamond’s class. You were struggling with making it look properly in the back, ” Elphaba replied automatically, focusing instead on the strange sense of levity that filled her. She felt like she might literally float away at any second and hastily grabbed the fabric of the blanket to stop it from happening and only then realised the foolishness of what she was doing. She quickly let go. Galinda said something, but concentrating was difficult, all the candles in the room seemed brighter and Elphaba missed it. Embarrassed, she wrestled against her own body for control and her vision came into focus on Galinda’s expectant face. Right.
“Truth or Dare?” Elphaba asked, desperately hoping that that was the right question.
“Truth”
Galinda had almost always picked Truth, when they played the game. The girl seemed to delight in people asking her personal questions, a preference that utterly baffled Elphaba. She tended to favour Dares.
“Alright,” Elphaba said, skimming her mind for things to ask and landing on the safest one, “were you afraid, coming to Shiz?”
“I was,” Galinda admitted, “I don’t know why. There was just this feeling… Like… I don’t know, like you forgot something, only for the future. It was silly and I don’t feel that way anymore. Not since Ozdust.”
To Elphaba’s absolute horror the name “Ozdust” echoed in her mind for a few seconds without invoking any memories. Her vision took her to another extreme and was blurry again. It was hard to concentrate on anything, but the present moment and Elphaba’s immediate surroundings. Have they always been that pink?
“Truth or Dare?” Galinda asked, completely unaware of Elphaba’s inner turmoil.
“Dare”
“You certain you don’t want to pick Truth? I had such wonderful questions prepared!” Galinda asked in a pleading voice.
“No. Dare.” Elphaba did not want to know what Galinda’s “wonderful questions” were. She resolutely didn’t.
“Argh, fiiiiine,” Galinda said with feigned irritation, “sit still and make a serious face.”
Elphaba did as instructed, her head light and thoughts whirling inside it. Galinda traced a finger along the edge of her chin then back. Elphaba was very still. The finger moved down to her neck, the touch light, but surely Galinda wouldn't stop there. It was not tickling just yet, but… Soon three or four fingers were moving up and down Elphaba’s neck, slowly building the tension, scratching at the spot at the base of her neck between her collarbones. Pressure was building in Elphaba’s throat, but she mustered her will and held. She was dared to sit still after all.
Galinda reached up with her left arm and started tickling Elphaba’s armpit. Elphaba did her best to keep from smiling, from even thinking of laughing. Galinda could do whatever she wanted to her and Elphaba would take it. The other girl huffed, clearly disappointed with the lack of results and resumed her efforts with a faster pace, going up to touch the soft skin of her friend's cheek and chuckling as she felt the clenched jaw under it. She took her other hand, which, despite her resolutions, Elphaba had been trying to ever so slightly squeeze between her side and her arm, and in one, swooping, motion moved it to the wrist. Then, finally, it was too much. The combined tickling against the side of her neck and the ghost touch wrist was too much for Elphaba, she cringed and… Let go.
She started laughing uncontrollably, shaking, unable to even swat Galinda’s hands away from the sensitive places. Then, perhaps for the first time in Elphaba’s life, her thoughts stopped whirling.
Instead, she was surprised to be left with… Happiness. All the worries and what-ifs, the sore memories and the dark visions of an uncertain future did not make her happy, so they were, quite sensibly, pushed out of the little bubble that contained her, Galinda and what they were doing. Elphaba couldn’t, even if she wanted to (and she didn’t, she truly didn’t), worry about them.
Speaking of the present moment, Galinda was long overdue for a taste of her own medicine. It didn’t take five seconds for her start squealing with laughter and in the midst of it she managed:
“Truth! Truth! I choose Truth!”
“Oh, why did it matter to you what I thought of your feelings toward Fiyero?” Elphaba asked, distantly aware that she should be horrified by the ease with which she asked that, but she wasn’t. She was eager to hear the response.
“Oh, well, Fiyero was nice and all, handsome, but we really did deserve each other already. What’s true love if you don’t have to strive to… Well, something, anyway. How should I know? It’s not a good story if it’s all said and done, when you meet each other. We were already perfect together, what else was there to do? And I wanted you to know that I was not the kind of person that stops at what they have, that I was more like you!”
“Like me?” Elphaba echoed.
“Yes, determined and stubborn and always so confident, no matter what others say! You held your head high, and I wanted to be like that, and I wanted you to think I was!”
While Elphaba was still trying to form an appropriate response to this list of her supposed virtues, the other girl went on:
“And, the truth is… I am not any of these things, Elphie. I just really want to be.”
“Noncence!” Elphaba exclaimed, “you are the most confident person I know! You are… You are kind and smart and you make everyone around you feel loved! And you are not weak.”
“Thank you,” Galinda said softly, her eyes glistening with tears, “I am glad you feel loved.”
“Of course. Now ask me the next question.”
“Truth or Dare, Elphie?”
“Truth, please.” Elphaba said, once again surprising herself. But she truly did want to be asked, to share a piece of herself in return for the one Galinda offered.
Galinda paused, a miniature frown on her face. Elphaba imagined her struggling to pick one thing to ask about, because there were too many of them. Once she would’ve chided herself for having such self-centered thoughts, but those concerns seemed far away and foolish now. Instead she waited impatiently for Galinda to finish picking.
“Why didn’t you want the makeover I gave you?” her friend asked finally.
“Galinda! I don’t want you getting upset over it!” Elphaba discovered that even drugged, she could still blush.
“Psh. I am not stupid, Elphie. Now answer the question, dearest.”
“I wasn’t sure why you were doing it, I suppose”
“You are telling me even after all that happened the night before, you didn’t know?” Galinda huffed. “You might think that’s the case, but I doubt it. And I know these things, so you really should trust me.”
“Well, I…” Elphaba stammered, “I wasn’t… Um…”
An absolutely alien feeling pierced her, a cold needle of certainty right through her skull. Elphaba knew, knew as she had never known anything before, that if she didn’t tell the truth right then, the bubble was going to pop, the moment gone, never to come again. Everything in her vision swam with colours, worse than last time, because she couldn’t even see Galinda’s face. Without it she was a lost child again, lonely and angry.
“I knew what it was and it scared me, because I didn’t want to believe that someone wanted to be my friend!”
Oh, saying that hurt, but, perhaps not in a way Elphaba was expecting. It was like ripping off a band aid to reveal the fresh, delicate skin underneath - painful, but relieving at the same time. The whirling colours stopped and she could see Galinda again. The other girl was frowning and had a serious, focused expression. It was one that Elphaba had never seen on her friend’s face before, but in a strange way it suited her, especially softened, as it was, by something Elphaba didn’t dare name.
“Why didn’t you?” Galinda asked, “Why didn’t you want to believe I wanted to be your friend, Elphie?”
And that name, Galinda’s name for her, compelled her to answer once again, like a magic spell.
“I wanted to be unlovable,” Elphaba said, discovering that it was true the same second the words left her mouth, “because then it meant that nobody loved me for a reason.”
Galinda’s look was soft, full of wonder and absolutely unbearable as she asked again:
“And do you still think that?”
There was a glint in her eyes. Elphaba had the answer at the tip of her tongue, and Galinda, devil that she was, knew it.
“No. Because you love me.”
A slow, radiant smile spread across the most beautiful face Elphaba had ever seen and Galinda whispered in the most smug and satisfied way ever:
“There you go, Elphie.”
Oh, Elphaba decided, she will pay for this. She will pay for every confession she had wrung out of me, for all the smug smiles and for all the times she knew me better than I knew myself. I know a way to make her pay.
“Truth or dare?”
“Dare, please.”
“Kiss me.”
