he's just...different
me when he's literally me
can we also talk about how incredibly trans-coded hawk is? like the obvious low-hanging fruit is his name change but also like his character as a whole.
hawk literally starts as eli, he doesn't like himself, he doesn't like the way he looks, he doesn't like his name, he doesn't like how other people see him, he doesn't like his clothes. but he tries to make himself fade into the background to survive, just like demetri. but once he gets the chance to change, he takes it. he changes his hair, his clothes, his name, the way he presents himself, his tone of voice, everything.
he has this inner turmoil in s2-5 where he has to figure out where he's most comfortable. he finds in s2/3 that overcompensating doesn't make him happy, bc he's still in touch with his "eli" side. so s4, the mohawk is shaved, he loses all sense of identity and retreats back into "the closet" and hangs away hawk. he goes back to eli, goes back to dark baggy clothing, short hair, and a quiet demeanor. but he realizes, just like in s1, that he doesn't like that either. he's happiest in that middle ground. and again, in s5, he kind of starts to overcompensate again until he finally finds that nice balance, he finds how he wants to present himself and what he likes to do. so in s6, he balances the baggy clothing with the sharp hair. he balances the name change with a more naturally flowing tone of voice.
while this is all technically just canon hawk, this is very true for the trans experience. finding the right name, the right hair, the right clothes, the right voice, the right "presentation" of the right version of "you"
oh em gee i love hawk
scp// cksscenes