#trans 3d

[fleetingillusionsblog]

I am on the brink of relapsing on my ED and SH like its going to be one or the other. So now basically I have to choose between one or the other

[l1ght-matter]

Jan 1st

Total cals - 490

To help me try and stay consistent and motivated, I’m going to just track my total cals rather than each separate food, because I prefer to keep track on paper and it’s such a bore to copy everything over . I’m hoping this’ll help to stop b1nging in some sort of roundabout way that I forgot how to justify 🤷 anyway I lost 1.4kg from my w3igh-in yesterday so hoping I can keep the momentum going

[carved-cadaver]

uhhh how to dissociate "sklnny" from my transman identity? anyone got a tutorial? no? guess i'll keep st•rvlng

[l1ght-matter]

Dec 26th

I had about 1500c today, it’s difficult to r3str1ct again after getting so many sweet treats for Xmas so I need to figure out how to get rid of those without it looking too suspicious and I DESPERATELY need to find some motivation to continue that isn’t just my crippling self loathing

But I think I may try and stop drinking alcohol because it’s a good way to save on some c@ls without it looking a bit random because everyone else is doing it too for dry january

[rotted-candy-hearts]

Being a trans nb demiboy with an 3d is just this:

Me: *takes birth control so I can try sex because getting pregnant would be bad for me and the dysphoria would kill me before the baby would*

Me: *reads that birth control will heighten estrogen levels, lower testosterone levels, and make me fatter*

Me: *looks up how to get the pill to not do that, because those 3 things will make me commit violent thing*

Website: do not get stressed. It raises estrogen.

Me: *gets more stressed because I know I won't be able to stop myself from getting stressed*

Website: also you should lose as much weight as possible😐 your fat contains estrogen

Me:😐

Website:😐

Me:☹️ *dysphoria and body image issues increases by 100%*

Website, holding a gun to me: oh and it'll lower your sex drive so you might not even want to do the thing that we're supposed to help you with

[fleetingillusionsblog]

What i had today in the phych ward:

- Breakfast: 2 Coffee's, 1 banana ensure plus

- Lunch: 1 sausage, onion

- Dinner: 2 banana ensure plus

- Supper: chease sandwich

Total: 1654cals