Feb 24, 2025
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Quick reminder that you don't need to be feminine to be a trans woman
You may want to experiment with it, if you had to avoid it before transition.
You may need to perform it, to get through gatekeeping and start transition.
But please don’t assume you can’t transition because you aren’t feminine enough.
An important article on being Trans from US and UK and asylum process and what criteria is needed go apply for asylum vs getting other visas
https://transrescue.org/asylum-for-trans-brits-and-americans-we-need-to-talk
Key parts
If Your Asylum Application Is Refused
Having an asylum application refused will result in deportation and a ban on return. If you’ve applied in a bloc such as the EU Schengen zone then that will apply to the whole bloc, which will mean you are now banned from most of Europe.
Your failed application may be used as justification to restrict trans people’s ability to travel to a country, or to refuse asylum to other people like you in the future when conditions have worsened. Do you want to be the person who stopped everyone else getting asylum?
That Wasn’t Pretty. But We Needed To Talk
Nobody wants you to reach safety more than us, and we have been providing as much information about it for a very long time now. Some of you may be very annoyed at us for what we’ve said in this piece, because it may challenge long-held received opinion. But it represents our many years of combined knowledge and experience in this field, and we would be doing you a disservice if we didn’t say it. When so many in our communities are clutching at straws, we want to make certain they do so in a direction which will benefit them. There are still plenty of options for leaving the USA or the UK which do not involve asylum, and we believe at the time of writing that they represent a far better choice.
(Cobalt:) Our Rescue Trans Rescue listing is live! https://ko-fi.com/s/99aaeef6b9
If you'd like to adopt a tiny trans turtle while ALSO supporting a great cause, this might be a good purchase for you! This is what Trans Rescue does:
We help trans*, intersex, and other people flee places where it is dangerous to be trans. We help them reach places of safety and reasonable quality of life. We do so legally and securely.
You could also check out the other great art in the Rescue Trans Rescue exhibit here: https://ko-fi.com/inherentlee/shop
Boosting this post is also very helpful, if you'd like! <3
[Image 1: A hand holding a small turtle knitted out of fuzzy chenille yarn. Its shell is blue on the outside and pink on the middle, with the pink forming a star or flower in the middle. It has white French knots (little bumps) for feet, tail, and head. It is 2-3 fingers wide.
Image 2: A hand holding a slightly larger version of the same turtle. The pink star or flower in the middle is bigger and more messy. The French knots are the same size, so in comparison to the larger body, they're proportionally smaller. Little teeny feet. It is 3-4 fingers wide.]
If someone jokes about bad reasons they’d like to transition, or to have transitioned, there’s a good chance that they’re too embarassed to talk about good reasons they’d like to transition, or to have transitioned.
... and more than a good chance if they’re camab.
If people tried to raise you as a boy/man and yet you kept thinking you should be a girl/womon, or even that you just want to be a girl/womon, it's quite possible that you already are and you might want to transition.
You don't have to fit the standard narrative. You don't have to have all the dysphoriae, some of us had some but not others. You don't have to have always known, some of us kinda-sorta knew and some didn't. You don't have to be attracted to men, some of us aren't. You don't have to like dresses, some of us don't. You don't have to have all the answers about where you're going.
I kinda wish that someone had talked to me, and suggested that transition was an option, and suggested that trying estrogen while working things out was an option.
I was writing a story through a female altera ego, I did wear cargo pants, I was bullied for being a trans girl... there were all kinds of signs if I had known what to look for, or if my friends and family had known what to look for and had talked to me.
I know it is very personal, but I think it would be good for folks who see signs in their friends to try to discuss this with their friends.
Obviously there are very different dynamics for trans girls, because female-identification is discouraged at every turn, and trans guys.