#transportraitgallery

[shap-kid]

This is my contribution to the #transportraitgallery where we post a raw pictuere of our face and answer a few questions. My name is Abby and I am gender neutral or neutrois (they/them). As a nonbinary person who is a practicing Christian, I've always wondered about how my gender is viewed within that institution. However, I've also though a lot about my spiritual beliefs and know that I really haven't figured them out yet, but I do know that I exist and will continue to exist in any faith I decide to practice. In terms of my sexual orientation, I discovered I was bisexual before realizing I was trans, but it did play a role. Realizing that I was attracted to multiple genders made me realize there were multiple genders mixing around inside of me as well. So far I am not out to my parents, but I might as soon as I move to college. Keeping it from them has been challenging, especially as I began to present masculine (to cancel out my lack of t). The hardest struggle I have had has been with my thoughts of transition. I desire a male body, but want to keep my female reproductive traits (basically I want to have children). My biggest fear is becoming infertile, but I feel pressured to transition in college because it will be covered in my health care. I have had an amazing time meeting nonbinary people, especially in real life. Especially in my incoming freshman class; it has been great to talk to them about fears and successes and hear how they deal with situations as well. I love all of them lol. I would honestly tell my 14 or 15 year old self that the sooner I stop trying to deny that I am bi or nb the sooner I can start discovering myself. So many things have changed and I wish I was more ready to fully accept them. Overall, my goals are to be fully out and comfortable with myself at some point. I'd like hormones, but only once I am absolutely sure I am ready. However, I want to be seen for who I truly am (but once I stop being indecisive and pick a new name!!) I'm going to go put some make up on now!!!

[blistersonmyheels]

In response to this post

How has being transgender/nonbinary interacted with or impacted other facets of your identity (e.g. race, religion, socioeconomic status, sexual orientation, etc.)? I knew I was bi/pan before I knew I was nonbinary, which made me consider the accuracy of my own gender.

What have some of your negative experiences related to being transgender/nonbinary been? Being constantly misgendered is difficult, esp when I’m not comfortable giving the correct pronouns to someone, which is most of the time. I’ve also had eating problems for years as a way to deal with not being comfortable with my body.

What have some of your positive experiences related to being transgender/nonbinary been? Seeing other people have the same problems is comforting. Other than that, it’s not a positive experience. There are no good pronouns, and I will always be misgendered. If you could tell every cisgender person in the world one thing about trans people/the trans experience, what would it be? (You can have more than one answer.) You can’t easily define it because completely individual. You will never understand the experience of being trans or nonbinary and you shouldn’t expect to.

If you could have a phone conversation with your younger self (whatever age(s) you’d like), what would you say to them? Look up gender variance and just read. Don’t wait 10 years to try on clothes other than the shit handed to you. Do everything you can to not idealize any body type.

What has your experience with your family been like? I am only out to my mom, and I don’t plan to talk to my other family members about it. She is accepting, but doesn’t understand well and tries to attribute it to external problems. I feel lucky that she takes me seriously, but I’m still uncomfortable that she knows.

What else about being transgender/nonbinary would you like to write about? I grew up with two moms and a sister and I never had close male relatives or friends, and I think being surrounded only by Female seriously slowed down me reconsidering my gender. I still don’t know if I would have rather known earlier or not. The fact that I didn’t for a long time just feels like a weak point that can be used to easily delegitimize me.

[ocdleobaskerville]

How has being transgender/nonbinary interacted with or impacted other facets of your identity (e.g. race, religion, socioeconomic status, sexual orientation, etc.)?

The only aspect of my identity that being trans has affected is my sexuality. I used to identify as sex-repulsed asexual because of the shame and disconnect I felt with my own body. Since transitioning, my newfound confidence has allowed me to free up that confusion and embarrassment, and now I identify as queer.

What have some of your negative experiences related to being transgender/nonbinary been?

I’ve been given looks and slurs from random strangers in public. I also face cissexism and micro-aggressions on a day-to-day basis. I feel unsafe when I go out alone, especially at night. I have to medicate and have surgery, but still will never achieve a body that truly fits me because of lack of money and lack of advanced technology.

What have some of your positive experiences related to being transgender/nonbinary been?

I have been able to meet my best friends and partner through being trans. I’ve been able to go to pride events and support groups, and even ran one myself; I have a community that I can belong to and also help. I feel that if I weren’t trans I wouldn’t have learnt so many important lessons about myself and the world. I simply wouldn’t be me.

If you could tell every cisgender person in the world one thing about trans people/the trans experience, what would it be? (You can have more than one answer.)

I love being trans! The dysphoria sucks, but the worst part of being trans for me is how everyone else deals with it, not myself.

If you could have a phone conversation with your younger self (whatever age(s) you’d like), what would you say to them?

Don’t push yourself so hard. You’re going to be great.

What has your experience with your family been like?

My family are wonderful. My mum especially was completely open to me being trans and helped me to get into the NHS pathway before I was 18 so I could medically transition as soon as possible. I think that without her help I wouldn’t be here.

What else about being transgender/nonbinary would you like to write about?

There is no right way to be trans. Whatever you wear or don’t wear, do or don’t do with your body, don’t do it just to fit the traditional pathway. Keep fighting for yourself. You deserve it.

[celadoncitygymleader]

#transportraitgallery -One way that being trans has impacted my identity is having to adjust my sexual orientation. Before I accepted my gender I was a gay male so reconciling the gayness is still a weird process for me. There's a certain level of sass that seems to be acceptable in gay men but not in women and it's weird to figure out how flamboyant I'm allowed to be while still being perceived as female. -I have had many negative experiences with being trans. Thankfully nothing along the lines of being harassed or physically abused because of it *knocks on wood* but it does make it hard to date. I'll talk about one guy I was talking to on tinder. I should mention that me being trans is in my bio. So I was having a lovely conversation with someone. I think it was a Sunday and we were talking the whole day. We talked about where he was going to school, we discussed Big Hero 6. But then all of a sudden he was like "you're mtf?" And I was like "yeah, why?" And he unmatched me. It irked me for the rest of the day how people can be so rude. -There are a couple things I would love to tell all cisgender people. First, google the basics. Cisgender people tend to ask a lot of stupid questions that could easily be googled. Also asking about genitals is a no. That's weird. And the other thing is that we know that pronouns are hard. In my personal experience, I struggled so hard with getting myself used to my real name and pronouns so I get that adjusting to them isn't easy. So please don't give me this long speech about how it's so hard for you because I'm not interested. Sorry. -If I could have a phone conversation with my younger self I would tell her to stay strong. I know that it's incredibly cliche but I went through some deep depressions which were very hard for me to get through. 7th through 10th grade were very rough, plagued with suicidal thoughts and self harm. But I had to make it through all of that to find who I truly am, and I would thank my younger self for surviving. She is stronger than I give her credit for. -My experience with my family has not been good. I came out to them January 15, 2016 and the months after that were just constant belittling and berating. They made me feel like being trans was a mistake I was making or something I was doing to spite my father or ruin my life with. The end of my senior year was rough but going to college I feel so much freer. My friends now use my real name and pronouns. One of my friends used my real name in front of my parents, and my parents "corrected" her. I costume shows and my real name is in the programs and after seeing the shows they don't talk about them. They are living in denial and there's no dragging them out of it. -There's nothing else I really want to write about being trans.

[scaredmlm]

(sorry for the res)

Honestly, being trans has it’s ups and downs. I’m relatively young, so I have dealt with hate from my peers for years about it. Being trans and gay is the core of my identity, so any other labels or groups I’m part of need to have space for me to be myself. I left the christian church as a kid before I was even baptized, and I’ve spent the last few years trying to find a new religious identity.

In eighth grade, I had a panic attack (they were often daily, due to the amount of stress I was in, and it eventually put me in the ER) I was on the floor of my history class crying, and not allowed to go eat lunch. My teacher continuously told me “you’re a young woman, stop acting like a little kid. stop being so immature” (keep in mind, i was only barely 13) at this point, I was covering my ears yelling “I’m a boy, I’m a boy” over and over, but nobody would listen and basically went “the whiny little girl wants to be a boy”

but not all of my experiences have been bad! I go to a support group, where I met my best friend, and when we made a new trans friend, we got to bring him to the group too! its like a big family there, and I can trust them with anything.

If I could get cis people to understand one thing about being trans, it’d be that we are not a subcategory of binary genders. My gender itself is not “Trans man” but just “man” Having to identify trans people, but not cis people, means that we can more actively face bigotry or discrimination. Separate but equal is not truly equal.

If i could go back in time, I’d tell my younger self to stop worrying when people called her a boy. Even though it felt like she was being a girl wrong, she wasn’t. and the situation was only temporary.

My mom is one of the most open minded people you’ll meet, the rest of my family, not so much. My mom accidentally outed me to my grandma, and she’s a little bit of a gossip, so I don’t know who knows I’m trans and who doesn’t. As of now I am avoiding contact with the entire family.