I recently reached out to my mom about getting evaluated for adhd and she was generally supportive but she also has this idea that it's probably harder for me to delay gratification because I grew up with video games and the Internet ? (I'm 19 but live with my parents btw) I feel like if I did get the diagnosis she would second guess it, and she also told me that she specifically doesn't want me to take any meds. I'm an adult and I'm going to uni soon but I don't want to take "secret pills" ☹️
okay so your mom’s reaction is basically exactly the same as my mom’s reaction. ‘you have a short attention span because I didn’t put you in a playpen when you were little’, to be specific (I grew up in the 80′s and playpens were Considered Bad For Children at the time, so I didn’t get put in one).
of course I can’t find the relevant article now, but the fact is: there is nothing that a parent can do to prevent ADHD in kids, and ADHD symptoms go way beyond ‘a short attention span’, or ‘delaying gratification’. From an outside perspective I can see how it looks that way b/c what an adhd person does is the thing that gives them the most pleasure/seems most interesting. but inside our brains we’re like ‘I don’t even want to be doing this right now??? there’s other important stuff to do?????????’ and yet we’re struggling to take the very (responsible) action we want to take.
as far as pills go ... my mom was similar on that point too. I can tell she’s not impressed that I take meds to help regulate my adhd. but a metaphor that I’ve found helpful - and might help you too - is ‘medication is glasses for your brain’. (credit to @knightarcana for that one!) we don’t doubt people with vision problems need glasses to regulate and focus their vision. why wouldn’t people with attention problems need meds to regulate and focus their attention?
there’s also lots of ways to regulate adhd that aren’t meds - diet, regular exercise, cognitive behavior therapy, and a variety of other things can all be big positive influences, so maybe you can negotiate with your mom if you’re diagnosed? ‘I’ll try these things and if I need more help, *then* I’ll take meds’ or something (if that works for you).
best of luck!
oh, and PS: remind your mom that if you have adhd, that’s not her fault. it’s nobody’s fault. it’s just genetics, and it’s super treatable, and it will help you be the best version of yourself possible to get help if you have it. when I told my mom that I felt her relax a little. she’s still skeptical, but she’s trying. /rolls away
