I've loved you for years
Part 1
Jack Barlowe x Reader
Warnings: death, Jack being an ass, dragons killing cadets, fights, idk, bad writing, english is not my first language, probably typos, violence... spoilers if you didn't read Fourth Wing. Sex.
Word count: 1,611
The sun had barely begun to rise over the peaks of the mountains surrounding Basgiath when the cadets were herded to the Treshing Grounds. This was it, the moment every cadet in training had been waiting for. The Treshing was the test of fate, the ritual in which each a cadet would bond with their dragon. Or die.
Among the cadets stood Y/N L/N, trying to hide her nervousness behind a mask of indifference. But she wasn't thinking about the treshing. No. She was thinking about Jack Barlowe. She had known him for years. They were childhood friends who had grown up together, always side by side, always knowing what the other would say before they said it. But he was different now. He wasn’t the sweet, gentle boy she had once known since arriving at Basgiath. The cruel and cold façade he wore in public has been in full force since they came here.
But she knew why he acted the way he did. Jack was a survivor, a fighter who had learned that kindness was a weakness in this world. He didn’t let anyone in, especially not the ones he cared about. But he did an exception for her. In moments of solitude, when the world wasn’t watching, he would slip. He would smile, and his eyes would soften, and for those brief moments, Y/N could almost believe that the boy she has always known was still here.
She loved him, too. But her feelings were a secret, buried deep inside, because Jack would never acknowledge them. She knew that now. And so, as they stood together on the rocky cliffs, surrounded by their fellow cadets, she watched him with a mixture of longing and sorrow.
“Y/N, please, don’t look so terrified,” Jack said, his voice mocking yet somehow caring. The words might have stung coming from anyone else, but she had long ago learned to decipher the hidden affection behind his teasing.
"I'm not scared," she replied with a half-smile, the words leaving her lips easier than the emotions in her chest.
Jack raised an eyebrow. “Right. Don’t let anyone see your nerves. It's the last thing the dragons will respect.”
Before she could respond, the horn of the Treshing sounded, and the cadets were released into the vast, rocky landscape. The area was enormous, vast stretches of desolate, mountainous land, a place where no one could hide from the dragons. The ground was scarred with the marks of previous Treshings, littered with the remnants of cadets who had been burned to ash by the flames.
Y/N glanced around. There was no sign of Jack, and she felt a sudden pang in her chest. She hated how much it hurt to be away from him, even if only for a moment.
The dragons that flew above them were massive and intimidating, circling like predators waiting for the weak to falter. The ground trembled beneath Y/N’s boots as the search began. This wasn’t a battle. It wasn’t about killing or fighting. It was about finding the dragon who would choose you.
The stakes had never felt so high.
As she ventured deeper into the rocky wasteland, she caught sight of a few cadets already claiming their dragons, soaring through the air on their back, while others were left scrambling, searching for the right dragon. It was chaos, but the chaos didn’t bother her. She had spent so many years training for this moment, and she was ready.
Somewhere in the distance, a loud roar shook the ground, followed by an explosion of heat that singed the edges of the rocky terrain. Y/N froze, heart pounding. Someone has died by fire.
After what seems like hours, she heard a group of people. Hidding in the shadow, she approached to see what was happening.
Three boys were facing the Feathertail they heard about in class. A rare and elusive dragon that no one wanted to bond with, deeming it weak. But there was Violet, standing her ground, defending it. Jack’s voice rang out, cold and commanding. Y/N couldn't hear what was said.
Y/N crouched closer behind a jagged rock, hidden from view but unable to tear her eyes away. She knew Violet wouldn’t back down. The girl was strong and stubborn. The same qualities that Y/N admired in her best friend, even if it meant things were about to get ugly.
After some exchange, they started to fight. But Violet didn't back down, determined to protect the golden dragon at all cost.
Then, without warning, the air around them crackled with energy, and Y/N’s heart skipped a beat. The ground shook violently as a massive black dragon appeared overhead, its wings spreading wide, casting a shadow over everything.
She saw Jack’s eyes widened.
But it was too late. The black dragon swooped down, flames licking the ground as it dove toward Violet. Her eyes locked onto the creature as it landed behind her, its wings folding as it lowered its massive head. It was then that Y/N understood. The dragon had chosen her.
The black dragon’s fiery breath then rained down, scorching Tynnan, his body engulfed in flames. Jack’s expression was unreadable as he turned to leave, but Y/N could see the way his jaw clenched, his hands tightening around the hilt of his weapon.
She was frozen in place, watching in horror as Violet stood with the dragon, both unscathed by the destruction that had just taken place. But in the chaos, Y/N thankfuly realized that she hadn’t been noticed.
After Violet departed on her dragon's back, Y/N was left on Treshing ground. She knew she couldn't stay hidden, if so, she would die by the flames or be unbonded. It wasn't an option.
After hours of wandering, she felt the ground beneath her feet rumbled, and before she could comprehend what was happening, a deep voice filled her mind. You. You are mine. I have been searching for you for hours. Have you been hiding?
Y/N blinked, heart racing. The dragon before her was enormous, almost purple in color, covered in scales that gleamed like sapphires. It was a magnificent creature, and Y/N felt a connection to it unlike anything she had ever felt before.
“You’re... You’re mine,” she whispered, awe-struck.
The dragon’s voice resonated in her mind once more. Together, we will rise.
Tears welled in Y/N’s eyes as she reached out to touch the dragon’s head. She didn’t know how long they stood there, connected in silence, but she then climbed on its back, and when the dragon finally took flight, Y/N’s heart soared with it.
Her dragon, large and majestic, soared above the Treshing grounds with Y/N clinging to its back, trying not to fall, her mind awash with the bond they had formed. The landscape below her seemed small in comparison to the power she now wielded.
When she finally returned to the training grounds, the sun was setting, casting long shadows over the rocky expanse. They landed with a soft thud, her dragon’s wings folding neatly against its body as they touched the ground. Other cadets had already returned, their dragons circling the area with proud roars. She found Jack's figure in the crowed grounds, but he didn’t acknowledge her. He stood there, his expression as distant and cold as ever.
The marking ceremony came next. Y/N stood with her fellow cadets, her heart pounding as she felt a sharp pain tearing through her inter thigh, where she knew the sigil of her dragon branded into her skin.
Later that evening, as Y/N entered her new room, a room she had to herself for the first time this year, she felt a strange sense of peace. She was alone, yet her mind buzzed with thoughts of Jack.
As if on cue, the door creaked open, and Jack stepped inside, closing it behind him, his eyes dark and unreadable.
“You made it,” he said softly, his voice uncharacteristically gentle.
Y/N nodded, her heart thundering in her chest. "Yeah. I did."
Jack walked toward her, the usual arrogance replaced with something softer, more vulnerable. “I’ve been a fool, Y/N.”
Her breath caught in her throat, and she took a hesitant step back. "What do you mean?"
Jack’s gaze softened, and his voice dropped to a whisper. “I’ve been pushing you away for years, trying to protect myself. But I can’t keep pretending I don’t care.”
Y/N’s heart ached, and without thinking, she closed the space between them. “Jack…”
And then, with no more words needed, he kissed her. It was soft at first, tentative, as if both of them were unsure if this was real. But as the kiss deepened, everything else faded away: the years of pretending, the fears, the doubts. It was just them, their hearts beating as one.
Their clothes were discarded quickly, and soon, they were tangled together, their bodies moving in sync as they finally gave in to the love they had both been hiding for so long.
Later that night, as they lay entwined in the bed, Jack held Y/N close, his fingers tracing the soft curve of her back, her head on his torso. “I’ve loved you for so long,” he murmured into her hair. “I never thought you’d feel the same.”
“I’ve loved you, too,” Y/N whispered back, her voice thick with emotion. “I always have.”
Jack let down his walls completely, no longer the distant, cold cadet, but the boy who had always been there for her.
In that quiet room, with the world outside still spinning, they found something more important than the bond with their dragons. They found each other. And it was enough.
Part 2 >>>









