hi! my boyfriend has trich and i was just wondering if you had any tips on helping him out with recovery? he tends to pull more when he’s anxious but he also does it when he’s calm or we’re just having a normal conversation. we’ve been dating for five months and he’s only really just started to open up to me about it, although i’ve always noticed and it doesn’t bother me, it worries me that it has an effect on his self esteem. thanks! ♡
Everyone copes with their Trich differently! He might have tried some of the options I’ll talk about, but it can’t hurt to try again 🧡
Anxiety is a common trichotillomania trigger, in fact it’s one of my own. The only good thing about anxiety triggered episodes is that they’re predictable to an extent. If he knows that he’s going to have a stressful day or can feel anxiety creeping in, that’s when a tactile distraction can best be utilized. Stuffed animals/certain fabrics can fulfill the pulling desire, or he can turn his anxiety into more productive energy through some form of crafts/needlework or hobby.
Pulling subconsciously is also another avenue that many with trichotillomania struggle with. Unlike anxiety, it can be difficult to tell when or even if you’re pulling, which can make it embarrassing when someone points it out. When I pull subconsciously, if someone I trust who knows about my Trich is nearby, they often hold my hands and squeeze them a few times. This is more to let me know that I am pulling than you stop it. Once I know that I am pulling, I can usually employ one of the above mentioned activities to satisfy the need to do something with my hands.
Other than activity based counters for trichotillomania, there are also physical barriers he could use. Wrapping the fingers he used to pull with bandages can reduce grip, making it more difficult for him to actually pull hair out. Removal of tweezers and similar implements from the home can also be useful depending on how he prefers to pull his hair out. If he also eats the hair he pulls out (trichophagia), using a foul tasting hair product can discourage that compulsion.
It takes a lot of courage for a person with trichotillomania to open up about their condition. It’s scary and embarrassing and it does take a heavy toll on your self esteem. The fact that your boyfriend was comfortable telling you about his Trich proves that he trusts you a lot. Before bringing these strategies to him, I would talk to him about how he’s managed or tried to control his Trich in the past. It can be frustrating to have the same old strategies repeated to you after you find out they don’t work for you. As I said, everyone’s battle is different. But, it does make it easier to know you have someone to confide in and turn to for support.
Your boyfriend is lucky to have a partner as supportive as you, Anon 🧡 I hope my response was helpful!
