Starting a new Everlark fic! Iâm aware I have unfinished fanfictions that are chaptered, but knowing me - I had to start another one. However, I will publish the first three chapters all at once so you donât have to wait for updates as long. In advance: This story will be darker than anything else Iâve written, there will be trigger warnings at the beginning of chapters, when it is needed. Writing is an outlet for me and how I express myself, and lately I haven't been the happiest. So, I'll take any negative thoughts and put it into words. I know it isn't much as of now - just a moodboard and a summary - but I promise you, it'll be worth the wait.
Summary: Katniss has been in and out mental hospitals. When discharged, she thought it would be best to try and turn her life around. She moves to an entirely new state, thinking the sudden change can help her. Eventually, she meets her complete opposite: Peeta Mellark - the outgoing, compassionate baker that everyone admires - and finds out maybe they're not so different after all.
Summary: The three times the stars in Reggie's eyes went out and the one time they came back forever.
Pairing: So thereâs referenced Willie/Alex and Julie/Luke but nothing set in stone
Warning; Angst, mentioned child abuse, depression, suicidal thoughts, there is some fluff tho, canon character death, death of grandparents
AN/ parum stella translates to little star! (iâm not fluent in latin so this maybe incorrect.Â
Words: 6140.
1)
The stars had always been his and his grandadâs thing. His grandad used to tell the story of when he was first born, the stars twinkled like no other as his mum and dad took him home from the hospital. It was like a new star had been born and that the stars were twinkling in celebration. Every summer from the first year he was born till just after his twelfth birthday he would spend with his grandparents on their ranch.
It wasnât that his mum and dad werenât unfit to be parents at that point, they just worked so much that he would always have babysitters round and when his grandparents found out they made a deal with his parents that he would spend every summer and spring break with them. His first summer he was only a few months old when he first went to the ranch, his grandmother told him a few years later that he clocked on to one of the horses and cried when they tried moving him away.
Summers were fun on the ranch, a lot more fun than it was being stuck at home in his bedroom trying to hide away from his parentâs arguments. He would spend all day helping his grandad with the animals, making sure that all of them were clean, fed and had plenty of water down. He taught him to horse ride, starting him off with an American Shetland Pony which he nicknamed Boo, when he was younger because he couldnât pronounce the ponies full first name.
He named every single animal on the ranch, making sure to do a drawing of each individual animal on the farm, noting the differences that only he could tell on the drawings. After working on the farm all day, his grandad would bring him outside, wrapped up in his blanket with a cup of hot cocoa his grandmother had made as a reward for his hard work through the day.
Theyâd sit on the steps of the ranch, him curled into his grandadsâ side, seeking the warmth as the coldness of the night began to sit down. His grandad, an ex-astronaut who had to retire after an injury training while he was training for Apollo 11, would point out all of the stars, passing his knowledge of the constellations and facts about the solar system and Reggieâs young mind soaked it all in.
His grandad was his best friend. He loved his grandmother to pieces, but, growing up each summer he followed his grandad around like a lost puppy. He hung of every single word that came out his older relativesâ mouth and unlike his parents who wouldâve yelled at him to shut up and go away, his grandad loved it. He took him around everywhere, teaching him how to milk the cows and brush the horses correctly.
Every single time his grandad had to go to town he took Reggie with him. He was right there with his side, which helped his grandad when he was trying to sell products from the farm, because everyone loved this puppy eyed little boy that would chew your ear off if you gave him the chance to. Everyone knew him as the little assistant who arrived each summer and seemed to gleam with brightness whenever he spoke to someone, the glittering of his eyes almost matching the glittering of the stars he loved so much.
Most children his age would hate being away from their friends and their parents for that long, but Reggie thrived off it. Heâd arrive back home a few days before the school term started, the brightness in his eyes seeming to be turned up to another level, full of stories ready to be told and those first few weeks he was back he was riding on a high.
Leaving the ranch was always hard though, he was so attached both to his grandparents and the animals of the ranch. He made sure in his last few days to go around saying goodbye to each and every one of them and giving them a treat. The first day he was home would be one of the saddest days of the year and both Alex and Luke, his best friends since they were in pre-school knew not to bother him on that day, he was grieving the happy atmosphere he got at his grandparents ranch and trying to prepare himself ready for his parents arguing all the time.
His biggest helpers in cheering him up from the next day were both Luke and Alex. The three of them were inseparable, having not seen each other as a three for a full summer. They spent their last remaining days before school started again with each other. They played on the beach together, they went for bike rides and traded stories of their summer, the laughter and happiness bright in their eyes.
The summer of their eighth year, they all made a pact that theyâd start learning an instrument, so they could join the elementary school music programme. Reggie swapped between piano and banjo, something both his grandparents had taught him, his grandmother would play piano most of the evenings he was there and she was soon teaching him and his grandad had been playing banjo on off for years, Luke had started with piano himself, the two of them comparing notes they had from the summer together when they were reunited. Alex had started with a basic drum set, but he was killing it.
They kept developing their skills further and further as they went up to middle school, and then just two weeks before he was due to go to his grandparents for the summer between the sixth and seventh grade, his grandparents were killed in a fire at the ranch, destroying majority of the property and for the first time in his life, the stars in Reggieâs eyes died.
2)
By the time Reggie was 17, the stars were back. They were brighter than ever before. His grandparents passing hit him hard and it took a while for him to be able to look at the stars again, whenever night-time hit in the summer he would shrink into himself and go quiet. He also refused to touch either piano or banjo for two years. The memories were so tightly wound inside of him, the music flowing as he sat next to his nana on the piano, giggles flowing out of the youngest of the three as his grandfather danced around the piano, strumming the banjo.
He wouldnât be who is now without them. It took time, but from help from Luke and Alex and their new friend Bobby, he regained his strength and was able to look at the stars once again. Stars which once again brought him comfort and a warmth in his chest, rather than the agony and heartache which blossomed across his chest for the first year after they died.
About six months after his grandparents passed away, his music teacher sat him down and spoke to him about what he wanted to, because as much as Alex and Luke had been trying to get him to play piano or play the banjo, it just wasnât happening. He just couldnât do it without seeing his grandparents. So, his music teacher suggested he started a new instrument. Which he did. He started learning bass guitar and he fell in love with music again.
They met Bobby when he moved schools at the start of high school. Heâd been expelled from his last school for trying to protect his friend, so he joined the school not knowing anyone. The three of them ended up talking to him when they were in music and he ended up joining the friendship group. Â They carried on playing and decided to start writing and playing music together, even though they could only currently afford to play at school, Alex had persuaded his parents to buy him a set of drums for his birthday and they were held in Bobbyâs garage and Bobby had his own guitar but neither Luke or Reggie had their own guitars, Lukeâs parents refused to buy him one as they believed he should be concentrating on his school work and the one time Reggie asked his parents if he could get one, he ended up in hospital getting stitches from a glass being chucked his way.
Reggie soon managed to pick up a weekend job, babysitting Alexâs younger siblings twice a week. Only it wasnât really a job to him, he loved hanging out with the kids, and Alex to an extent. He fell back in love with stars one October night when he was babysitting them. Alexâs younger sister Alice was fast asleep upstairs, when Alexâs younger brother Adam snuck downstairs and joined both of them sat on the porch, watching the stars, cuddled in between them both.
Adam started pointing out the different stars, which for once were visible and as Reggie began explaining all of them, he fell back in love. He pictured not that long ago when it was him and his grandad sat there, in the exact same position and It was that moment he knew, as long as he kept his love for the stars up, his grandparents memories would always be with him.
Little did he see his best friends fond gaze as his eyes lit up with happiness explaining to the youngest boy about the different constellations. Alex knew his best friend had struggled coming to  terms with his grandparents passing and that he lost part of himself when they died, but as his best friend explained it all to his little brother, the passion and the part of him that heâd been lost since that horrible summer day fell back into place.
Nothing could ever bring Reggieâs grandparents back, but they could keep their memories alive. He was hooked again, and it showed. The happiness bled into his music as well and their practices became more vibrant and blooming with colour, them ignoring the fact that Reggieâs parents were arguing more than ever, that Alexâs wouldnât speak to him unless Reggie was round babysitting, Lukeâs were constantly on his back about college and Bobbyâs were constantly at work.
It also got better when they surprised Luke with an acoustic guitar for his 17th birthday, Reggie had been getting more and more babysitting jobs thanks to Alexâs parents spreading the word and between him, Alex and Bobby they were able to cough up the money for it. Reggie was also able to buy his own bass guitar and they were able to start rehearsing in Bobbyâs garage and attending gigs.
The happiness was flowing out of Reggie and into the other boys, expanding further when they got the call to say they were playing the Orpheum, it was hard to keep them calm in the weeks leading up to it. They just vibrated through life, it was like nothing else mattered besides that, it was the first step to the rest of their lives.
The night before they were due to play the Orpheum, the four of them clambered into Bobbyâs van, the oldest of the group had got his licence first and drove them all to a field. It was late at night, but it was the best spot to see the stars. Theyâd organised a band night under the stars. A sense of normality before their lives changed for good.
It was rare at times to see the stars, the light pollution often hiding them from view. Theyâd come to this exact same spot the day Bobby got the van, the day they could really start going to gigs. Everything was going to change then, and everything was going to change now. It was everything theyâd ever wanted, and it was within arms-reach.
They were laying side by side, Alex and Luke on the outside, Bobby, and Reggie on the inside, staring straight up at the stars. The soft breeze washing over them as the stars twinkled up above them and for a band who was usually so loud, it was silent. It was a peaceful silent though, the sort where youâre just enjoying one anotherâs company without having to start a conversation.
Reggieâs eyes were trailed on one particular star, not taking his eyes off it. âMy grandad always swore weâd end up playing a gig one day.â He muttered, his eyes twinkling fondly. He could feel the others turning to look at him for a second, before turning back to the sky. âItâs like everything he ever taught me is coming down to tomorrow, I wouldnât be who I am without him.â
The three boys around him, cuddled in closer to him, their arms tangling around each other, huddling in for the comfort they all knew. Theyâd been working their asses off to get to this point. Lukeâs arm reaching over Bobbyâs shoulder to run his hand through Reggieâs hair, from where he was cuddled into Bobbyâs side. âTheyâd be proud of you, Reg.â Alex whispered, his hand curling around the other boys, trying to get as close as possible.
The band had always been affectionate, whether it was simple arm brushes or hair ruffling or side hugs, but it wasnât often they got as affectionate as this. It was usually when one of them wasnât feeling great or something had happened at home.
Luke half propped himself up on one elbow, turning to look at the three of them with fond eyes, his eyes tearing up slightly, as he looked at every single one of them. âTomorrow. Tomorrow weâre going to play the biggest gig of career and itâs going to change everything for us, and I couldnât imagine doing it without you guys. Youâre my best friends. Each one of you is a part of my soul, my boys.â
The stars in Reggieâs eyes twinkled as tears built up in the corner of his eyes, trying to wrap his arms around his boys, trying to bring them in even closer. âI couldnât imagine doing this with anyone else, youâre my family, the people I rely on the most, the people Iâd go through hell and back for.â Reggie burrowed his head in Bobbyâs chest, as Alex tucked his head in Reggieâs neck, Luke crowding them in even closer, so they were essentially just a pile of limbs tangled together.
Bobby leant down to press a soft kiss to each of their foreheads, he ignored the gut feeling in his stomach that something was going to happen, just not what they expected it to be. They stayed like that until it was the moment to go, curled up as one under the stars. It was only when Reggie, who was usually the one who got cold the quickest, started shivering that they detangled from one another.
Alex detangled himself from Reggie first, holding his hand out to the younger boy after he was stood up. Reggie grabbed hold of the offered hand, pushing himself up, Luke and Bobby doing the exact same on the other side. The three older boys started heading towards the car, but Reggie lagged back, calling their names softly as he stood looking at the stars still.
âCome dance with me!â He called, holding his hands out to the others with a bright grin and who were the others to deny that grin. That dopy, crooked grin that brought them so much happiness of the years. As soon as the three others were back in touching distance, he threw his head back and began to sing, a grin appearing across his face.
Home, what is it really?
Sometimes itâs a someone and not a place,
Itâs that feeling of being safe,
Itâs about who youâre with at the end of the dayâŠ
He began spinning the others round, throwing his arms around them as they danced under the stars, not caring that they were getting mud everywhere. His eyes shone happily as they danced around, pumping the three others up whether he knew it or not, his happiness was infectious. When Reggie was seriously happy like he was here, it showed, and it was hard to be down in the dumps around him.
He gathered the three boys close as he grew closer to the end of the song, tugging them all in for a giant hug, their heads pressed together in the middle as pants slipped through their lips, as Reggie sung the last lyric, changing it from before. âand itâs you. Youâre home.â He sung softly, grinning brightly at the three others, his arms wrapped around both Luke and Bobby, his fingertips grazing Alexâs shoulder.
The four of them stood there for a few minutes, just embracing each other, and embracing their family. Before the heavens opened and drenched them. They raced back to the van, shoving each other over to try and get in the van first, before breaking out in peals of laughter, shaking the rain off them as Bobby started the van back up.
The stars shone in their eyes that night, but little did they know less than 24 hours later, a mere few hours before they were supposed to play the biggest gig of their life, their lives would change and not for the reason they were all expecting. and Reggie, whose stars had disappeared once before thought it was quite ironic, as he strained his neck trying to see the stars one last time from where he was laid on the floor, Alex and Luke who both had blood dripping from their mouths and nose, begging him to hold on, that the ambulance was on itâs way.
But Reggie knew. He knew they wouldnât get there in time, he knew that it was more than likely his best friends would die as well. Â It was a shame. He couldnât see the stars from here, and as his eyes glazed over for one last time, and the stars in his eyes died for a second time, a single thought popped in his head.
Little stars coming home grandad.
3)
If dying was weird, then being a ghost was a hundred times weirder. He died first, he knew that one for sure, but he ended up waking back up in an ambulance a few minutes after, where he was joined by Luke and then Alex a few moments after. Poor Alex had to watch them both die by the time he finally died.
After Alex died, they were transported to the black room, where he could hear Alex crying but couldnât get to him, it was strange. Alex sounded like he was an arms width away, but Reggie physically couldnât get to him, his arms and legs just wouldnât move. It smelt weird in the room, it didnât smell of death like he expected it to, but it smelt like sadness and sorrow.
Luke was on the other side of him, he could tell that much for sure, he could smell his aftershave amongst the weird smell within the room and itâs the only thing that kept him from crying his eyes out. He physically couldnât reach Luke either. Reggie tilted his head back against the black wall, closing his eyes as he wished that Bobby was okay.
As much as their oldest member of the band tried acting like he was strong and never cried, he was one of the softest people youâd ever meet and he loved his boys more than anything else in the world and losing them had probably broke Bobby more than anything else in the world. In some ways, he was glad that Bobby didnât come with them to get hot dogs, so that he could live a happy and healthy life, get married, become famous and do everything they ever wanted to do in life.
Being a ghost was weird. That one was for sure, being a ghost in a band where people could only see you if you were performing? Well that was just even weirder. He wouldnât change it for the world though, he loved Julie and he loved performing. Alex was finding happiness with Willie and everyone could see that Luke was pining heavily over Julie.
Reggie, well, Reggie was just happy being at least semi-alive, sure his family home had been destroyed and replaced and he had no clue whether anyone from his family was even alive anymore. But his friends were happy and that meant he was happy, right? The truth is he had no clue, he ended up poofing around the city a lot, trying to find the best places to stargaze.
He didnât have anyone, his best friends were busy and of course he was happy for them, but he missed them. He missed Bobby, who apparently now went by Trevor and was old(er) and had a daughter and stole Lukeâs music. Sometimes, heâd just go to Bobbyâs, he wouldnât tell the others instead heâd just tell them heâs searching for his family, but heâd go sit in with Bobby. Luke wouldnât understand, he was still too angry over everything and Alex probably wouldnât understand properly.
He kept a smile on his face, something heâd mastered back when he was alive, if the others had focused long enough, they wouldâve noticed it had become fake and that the stars in his eyes had diminished. They were just busy. They were always busy. Just like his mum and dad were at first.
One of the good things about being a ghost was that he could poof wherever he wanted to. He saw a video of the northern lights in Iceland and within two minutes of him wishing he was there he was physically there. He could lay down and watch them for hours without getting cold or needing to go inside to use the toilet or to eat.
It was at those moments when he felt the most peace, he felt free. He had nothing restricting him, he wasnât under pressure to rehearse with the band or put up a smile when all he want to do was cry, he just got to breathe and be at peace with the same stars which had brought him so much happiness over the years.
He ran away at one point. It was not long after they first met Caleb, when they had the first shock. Alex was out with Willie, trying to understand what had happened and Luke was writing songs with Julie in the garage and Reggie just poofed on top of Mauna Kea. He couldnât take being there anymore, there was too much sadness and too much pain and he couldnât take it.
When he eventually went back, heâd near enough got his ass kicked by the others. He only thought heâd been gone for a few hours at max, when in fact heâd been gone for three days. Three days and his best friends had gone mental with worry, thinking either Calebâs shocks had got him for good, or that heâd completed his unfinished business and they hadnât got a chance to say goodbye.
His boys meant the world to him, they always had. They were his family, through thick and thin. Theyâd died together, just mere minutes apart and honestly, Reggie thought they were going to cross over together as well. But then they played the Orpheum and honestly, it felt like a fever dream, the one thing theyâd always wanted to do, ever since they were kids messing about making music.
But everything changed. They didnât crossover and Reggie had never been more confused. He could touch Julie now; Ray and Carlos could see him at times. (That one was a fun one to explain to Ray at least, Carlos was just happy that he could see them). Willie and Alex spent more and more time together, the drummer coming back late at night, and besides band practice, it was likely he never saw them anymore. Luke and Julie swapped between writing songs in the garage and spending time together when they werenât practicing. It was like everyone else in the band was cracking on with their lives and Reggie, well Reggie felt like he was left in the dust.
He didnât know anyone else and he didnât want to bug Ray by spending all his time with him, so he went exploring. He went everywhere he could, he went to volcanos and let himself go diving in the lava, just to see what it felt like, itâs not like it would actually kill him. And after treating the lava like his own personal swimming pool because why the fuck not, heâd lay on the edge of the crater and just lay there, one hand behind his head and look up at the stars.
He didnât see the concerned glances behind his head, after he bailed out on another plan the band had tried to organise. He didnât see the frown on Lukeâs face as they did their usual mic share and the lights didnât shine like they did. He didnât see the group meetings they called, getting everyone together; Luke, Alex, the Molinaâs, Flynn, Willie, near enough everyone in their group. They even went as far as checking in with Bobby.
Nobody knew what was wrong with him, itâs like heâd hidden away all his thoughts and feelings, to the point where he was a shell of himself. The others were constantly concerned, concerned that heâd cross over on his own or that heâd go and join Caleb, that theyâd never see him again or know what happened to him.
So, they set a plan in place. The stars in his eyes had faded again and it was their job to get them back. No matter what.
+1)
Reggie was completely oblivious to the plan his friends were putting in place. He spent most of his days wondering different sections of the Earth. Heâd been swimming with penguins, heâd been to the biggest library in the world, he went to different planetariums around the world, trying his hardest to find happiness or find his way to crossover.
The thought of crossing over alone didnât scare him anymore. Why would being alone scare him when heâd always been alone? He followed random people on his journeys, watching their lives, how their eyes twinkled when they were with the people, they cherished the most. He wanted that, more than anything else in the world.
For once in his life he just wanted to be wanted. For someone to hold his hand and tell him everythingâs going to be okay. Heâd always had someone else, ever since he was younger. He didnât have his parents, but he had his grandparents and then after they died, he had the band. Only now he didnât, and it broke his heart.
He didnât even know what day it was at this point, the days just blended together, all into one. Heâd spend a day in one country, pop home to check on the Molinaâs and his boys, do band practice and then pop to another country. It was a cycle he couldnât get out of. He didnât want to see the pity in their eyes for Reggie, the left over one.
He popped back one Thursday evening, he only knew what day it was because his most recent follow, was an English university student, who only had lectures on a Thursday and a Tuesday. She was a fun one to follow, purely because they were in similar states, she was far away from home at university and was often pushed aside. Even though she couldnât see him, heâd taken a soft spot for her.
The lights were all off in the garage for once, which was strange on a good day. Even if they didnât have practice that day, the lights were usually on as at least once person was usually in the garage. But this time there was complete and utter silence and he didnât like it one bit. He flicked the light on, blinking as his bandmates appeared in front of the piano, almost like theyâd been waiting for him to come back.
âGuys?â He questioned, looking back between Luke and Alex with a slight frown on his face. âWhatâs going on?â Alexâs face relaxed slightly, storming towards the shorter boy, before pulling him into his arms. âYou were late for the check in time.â Was the only answer the taller boy gave, shoving his face into the youngerâs hair, taking a deep breathe in to confirm that he was there.
Reggie felt another pair on arms join in on the hug, a somehow warm body pressing himself into his side. The three of them just standing there in the middle of the garage, not wanting to release from the hug. Alex was the first to step back, wiping his face roughly, to rid himself of the few tears that had dripped down his face.
Luke didnât let go of Reggie that easily, he broke the hug only to wrap his arm around the slightly younger boysâ shoulder, bringing him to sit down on the couch, between Alex and himself. The tension between the three of them was almost unbearable, both Alex and Luke turning slightly towards Reggie, both of them having a mental battle about who would start the conversation first.
In the end, Luke just went for it, grabbing onto one of the younger boysâ hands and linking it with his own. He gave it a tight squeeze as he began to speak. âI donât know whatâs been going through your head recently, Bug, but you need to let us in.â Alex took his right hand in his own and repeated Lukeâs actions, while still giving him space, not wanting to overwhelm him.
âWe know youâve been travelling, Reg, but we miss you.â Alex whispered, like if he spoke too loudly it would disturb the peace within the garage. âIt feels like we havenât seen you in weeks and every time we try and speak to you, you pull away a bit further.â
Reggie just continued looking at his feet, knowing that the moment he looked at the two boys surrounding him, heâd open his mouth and let everything he felt slip straight out of his mouth. Unluckily, he didnât have that option, Luke used two fingers to lift the others chin up, looking him straight in the eye. Those wide hazel eyes, which could have him spilling his secrets in minutes.
âYouâre not okay. Donât try and tell us you are, because we know youâre not and we want to help, Reg.â They were pushing, but not pushing enough to overwhelm him and it was at that moment that Reggie realised just how well his best friends knew him. They always had known him better than he knew himself.
Reggie took a shuddering breathe in, not that he actually needed to be able to breathe, but more to prepare himself for the fact once he started talking, heâd never stop. His emotions were so tightly wound inside of him and as Alex used to say, he wore his heart on his sleeve. He tore his eyes down to his lap again and Luke let him, instead waiting for the younger boy to start.
âI just, I feel so along at times.â He whimpered softly, bringing his knees up to his chest, resting his chin on his knees, as he felt his best friends shift a little bit, to squish him between them. âAlex has Willie and you have Jules and I just, I missed my best friends. I love Julie and Willie, I really do and Iâm glad they make you happy, because thatâs all Iâve ever wanted in life, for you two to be happy and to find peace in your lives.â
The tears which had been brimming in his eyes for the past few minutes had started to drip down his face and into the material of his jeans. âI just, I got so used to being the person that nobody wanted, my parents didnât want me, you guys didnât want me and that you guys were happier without me.â He took a shuddering breath in, refusing to look at either as he uttered the last words, tears dripping down his face even heavier.
âI thought youâd be better with me gone.â
The two sudden intakes of breathe would haunt Reggie for the next few weeks, the shock and horror behind them, as both the others tightened their grips on his hands, before Alex knelt down Infront of him, the blondes eyes tracing across his face, before pulling him into a tight hug, pressing Reggieâs head into his neck.
âDonât you ever, ever fucking say that.â He whispered harshly, tears dripping down his own face. The horror was visible across Lukeâs face as he stared at the two of them in disbelief. âOur lives wouldnât be worth living if you were gone. Weâve been in this together from the start, us three against the world, way before Bobby, way before poisonous hot dogs and ghosts and crushes.â
Luke who had remained quiet since the admission, tangled his arms around them both. âYouâre never alone, Bug. Youâve always got us, youâve always had us, and you always will, even after weâve crossed over, weâll always be together, even if weâre apart.â The three of them were crying, the emotions theyâd all had bundled up since they died coming loose and open.
âI love you guys.â Reggie whispered, his eyes twinkling, even with tears streaming down his face, the stars were back, still a bit faded, but they were back. Just like they liked.
âWe love you too, more than you would ever know.â Luke nuzzled Reggieâs head, pressing a soft kiss to the younger boyâs forehead, before Alex repeated the action to both of them. The three of them stayed there wrapped up in each other, taking comfort in them all just being there, being with one another.
One by one they fell asleep, still tangled together. For that night nothing could disturb them. Julie woke them up after she got home from school, running and diving on them, wrapping her arms around as much of the three ghosts as she could manage. Sheâd been worried sick the night before, but both Alex and Luke had sent her to bed just before midnight when she could barely contain the yawns escaping her.
It was at that moment that Reggie knew he was home. He always thought the stars were his home, after all, theyâd brought him so much comfort and joy over the years, but, at that exact moment, he knew they were his home. Julie who helped bring music back into their lives, to achieve their goals. Willie who made Alex the happiest that Reggie had ever seen, who helped him accept his own sexuality as well. Flynn, who would constantly keep them happy and entertained when they were down. Carlos who Reggie adored like a little brother, that heâd do anything to keep the smile on the young boyâs face. Ray, who he loved like a dad, who loved his little brother and sister like his world depended on it.
Luke, joyful, precious, happy Luke. His best friend, the boy that would protect him from anything if he had the option. Luke would walk through fire if it meant that the people, he loved were happy. Alex who would constantly crack them up laughing with his sarcastic comments, but loved with his whole entire heart, that took care of them when they were sad or feeling down, who had plasters and bandages in his bag, ready to take care of them if their dumbasses got injured again. Bobby, who even though he stole the bands songs, was one of the kindest people youâd ever meet, he lost everything the day the three of them died and still carried on living, when most others would have given up.
He loved them.
And they loved him, more than he would ever know.
-
-
So, it was no surprise when Reggie crossed over a few weeks later, the stars in his eyes glittering brightly, as he hugged his best friends, told Willie and Julie to take care of his boys, waved at Flynn, Carlos, Ray and Bobby. He went covered in his best friendâs love, he could feel Alexâs arms around his waist, Lukeâs around his shoulders. He went knowing he was loved that heâd never be alone, no matter what. It was that moment, Reggie Peters found peace. Â
*potential tw-father/daughter sex??? I donât even know what to trigger warning this was but anyway* Yeah so last night I was just looking up carlisle/Bella fanfics (donât hate me pls Iâm sorry but that stitches scene in new moon just does something for me) and I stumbled upon a fanfic that was,,,,, BELLA AND CHARLIE. AND IT WAS SEXUAL. UM WTF I just had to share this w someone ummmm
I swear if I found whoever wrote this itâs on site
Mentions of suicide, self harm and murder. A huge overall trigger warning!!
Masterlist
Part 1
"Y/n please you're my last hope. You're my best friend. He won't eat. He won't sleep. When he does sleep he's plagued with nightmares and memories. He won't speak. He just lays there staring blankly at the ceiling for hours." Steve practically begs me.
No, Captain America is begging me.
"I don't know Steve, I know he's your best friend and all."
I take a deep breath to keep my composure
"But I don't know if I can handle it ."
âSeeing his face again twenty years after he murdered my parents in cold blood."
âI know it wasn't actually him and I get that, but that doesn't mean it won't still hurt"
âY/n you know I wouldn't let him ask you if I didn't deem it necessary. There's no one else we can turn to. I remember how he basically killed you too with the nightmares and everything. Hell y/n I've raised you since you were seven. Youâre a strong stubborn and hard headed girl who is just as noble as Captain America over there if not slightly more. Please, help him? Y/n, I wouldn't ask if i had any other choice." Nick begs
Nicholas Fury never begs anyone
I just give him a fake smile, grab my bag, and walk back to my room. Taking the stairs instead of the elevator because i need to think.
When I get to my room i slip my shoes off, throwing my keys in the bowl by the door and hang my purse up.
Walking to my room, stripping off my clothes on the way there, grabbing a giant hoodie and some pajama shorts. Slipping them on I go into the living room and set in the chair next to the window.
As i stare out watching the rain drip down the large window, i can't help but think about my past, and what I have done.
I've done things just like he has. And I set here, hating him for what he did but yet, I've done some horrible things too.
Things i hate myself for. Things no one knows. Not even Steve. And I tell him everything.
Only Nick knows because he found me. Lying in a puddle of my own blood. As the scars littered my body and the bleeding cuts on my arms. Hating myself for the things i had done.
I had done some horrible things and couldn't stand to look at myself anymore knowing i killed them in cold blood.
I'm not a field agent anymore. I can't be. I can't be on the field and kill people. I tried. And failed.
I had a panic attack on the field when we were taking down a hydra base.
He was there. Seeing him sent me into a panic attack and I attacked everyone there. Kicking, punching, stabbing, shooting. That's how Nick lost his eye. I shot him. I stabbed one of his top agents and killed him.
All because I had a panic attack that made me hallucinate..
Vent Post! Trigger warning for Idk. Suicide and I guess uhm poor physical health?? Heart attack also mentioned at some point, it's nothing massive so no worries...
Lately I have been feeling as though I am literally dying, as in rotting away or whatever, I DON'T really know how else to put it? But I just haven't been feeling well, physically, like at all and I'm starting to genuinely think I have some sort of health issue going on.. I am VERY anxious when it comes to my health, even though I drink things like monster uhh.... Anywho! My current state of health is making me feel horrible, I have this deep feeling of anxiety, which often makes me puke, whenever I have ANY sort of pain in my body - recently a lot of said pain has been around my heart, which just doesn't make this any better.. My physical health is quite literally part of the reason why I am considering suicide, I hate the idea of dying to a health problem more than ANYTHING, and therefore I want to make sure that if I am going to die, it'll be by my own hands because what the fuck why would I want to die to a heart attack or something... Anyways I don't know I did need to sort of get this off my chest, especially since I am considering taking my life this year.
