A conversation I've recently seen on tumblr that I think is worth mentioning in the context of the latest Buck&Eddie fight:
Abusers usually don't become abusers on purpose. They don't act on the thought of "how can I be evil towards my loved ones today?" They're not always consciously aware of their manipulation tactics. They do still love the people they hurt.
For example I don't think Eddie thought "I can use my son to emotionally manipulate my best friend", but he knew that having Christopher around would make Buck calmer and happy, maybe even thankful towards Eddie for making this reunion possible. That's why he flew Chris in on short notice - to make Buck feel better. But this way he also conveniently avoided having to confront his own actions and apologise, leaving Buck as the only one who accepts blame.
I don't think he meant to scare Buck by getting physical either, Eddie was just expressing his anger - but it still put Buck in a position where he probably was scared of Eddie physically hurting him. It was at least a possibility.
And Eddie constantly telling Buck to stop whining about his own hurt feelings and think about Eddie instead probably wasn't meant as anything but a cry for help, a "I'm here too! I'm hurting too!", but the message Eddie is sending here is "my feelings are more important than yours and you should prioritise accordingly".
Eddie never apologising for anything and waiting for Buck to apologise instead probably just comes from a place of insecurity and wounded pride, but it sends the message that Buck is always wrong and Eddie is always right or has nothing to apologise for.
Eddie talking positively about Buck and showing concern for his emotional well being around mutual friends in Buck's absence, but yelling at him in private wasn't planned, but it gives outsiders a distorted image of what the friendship actually looks like. Worse, if Buck at any point later goes to Hen and Karen to talk about Eddie's behaviour they will remember how Eddie was worried. They will take Buck's words with a grain of salt because Eddie has established himself as a caring friend in their eyes. Which wasn't Eddie's intent at all, he does care about Buck and impulsively blew up at him later.
But intent doesn't change the outcome. I know Eddie is going through it. I know he has trauma and grief and that Buck isn't perfect. But he's presenting a long list of bright red flags that are text book examples of emotional abuse and it has become a pattern that started at least 5 years ago with the lawsuit arc.
