So. This one’s a little bit different. I wrote this a few nights ago as i was coming out of a really bad PTSD episode, I hadn’t had one that bad in quite a while so it took a lot out of me, hence me being a bit absent these last few days.
I hope this is okay, its pretty personal and took a lot to edit and stuff but it did help me.
Please be advised that this has a trigger warning for child sex abuse, it is not directly mentioned but please still take care of yourself and use your discretion when deciding if you should read it.
word count: 980
You were just going about your day as normal. You had a few classes early in the morning, then got back home to the apartment you shared with Kara where you spent the afternoon studying.
You were going through the motions, made your regular lunch, did everything you usually do. But something just wasn’t right. You put your head in your heads as you leant on the dining table.
“What the hell is wrong with me today” you whispered to yourself, balling your fists in your hair.
You couldn’t concentrate on your work anymore so you closed your textbooks and threw them on your floor before flopping down on your bed, a tear of frustration sliding from the corner of your eyes.
After forcing yourself to calm down you got back up and got back to work, deciding that distraction was probably best, and you’d eventually be okay again.
But it didn’t happen.
“Heyyy y/n!! I bought pizza and cupcakes for later!” Kara walked in the door, home from work.
If you’re a good little girl, I’ll get you a treat, maybe even a cupcake!
You shuddered. You hadn’t thought about that in so long.
When Kara turned around, you plastered a smile on your face.
“Awesome, thanks Kara.” Kara beamed as she placed the food down and shrugged off her coat.
During dinner you just nibbled on the pizza. Nothing tasted good, so you excused yourself and told Kara you were going to have a shower.
“Are you alright y/n?” Her eyebrows were knitted together in concern but you waved her off, assuring her that you were fine.
It hit you light a freight train as you were washing your hair. You didn’t feel real, it felt like you were transported back to being five years old…
Get off me! Please, please get off!
“GET OFF ME!! PLEASE!!” Kara was in the bathroom before she even registered what you were saying, having already been listening because she felt something off with you. She ripped open the shower curtain and saw you curled into a ball, crying and screaming.
“Y/n? Sweetheart?” Kara turned off the water and knelt down beside your naked body, not caring that her jeans were now soaking through.
“Hey, hey, y/n, I need you to look at me” Kara tried to stay calm, but she was beside herself watching you in so much pain.
“I, I can’t h-he , he’s here, I-” Kara furrowed her brows and looked around,
“Bubs, there’s no one here.” Your breathing wasn’t slowing, “C’mon let’s just get you out of the shower and into something warm, honey. Those cupcakes are still waiting for you!” Suddenly your sobs intensified, and you drew away from Kara’s touch.
“Okay, it’s okay, you’re okay.” Kara’s blue eyes were glassy with tears, she felt helpless.
She sped and grabbed her phone from the lounge, calling Alex who assured her she’d be there as soon as she could and just to stay with you until she got there.
“Kara?” Alex called out. You had calmed down slightly, but still hadn’t let Kara touch you.
“In here.” Alex rushed through the apartment, then saw you huddled in the corner of the shower, soaking wet and shivering now.
“Oh sweetheart.” She could hear your breathing still ragged and the cries you were trying to silence.
“Alex, she, she was screaming, and her eyes are just vacant, and I can’t get her to let me touch her.” Alex placed her hand on Kara’s shoulder, reassuring her that she did nothing wrong.
“I think it’s a PTSD episode Kara,”
“She hasn’t had one of those in years” Kara whispered,
Alex smiled sadly and tried to reach you, “Y/n? You’re with us, your sisters. Kara and Alex, we’re here and we’re not going to let anything happen to you. You are safe.” You sniffled and looked up, you were out of the flashback but exhausted and embarrassed.
“A-lex” you whimpered,
“Hey little one, let’s get you warm and dry.” You nodded and reached out to Kara, who took a towel and scooped you up in it.
Alex found your favourite sweats and slipped them over your body while Kara busied herself with drying your dripping hair until Alex took over so she could change her own clothes.
“Y/n, you don’t have to talk okay? But we’re here if you want to.” Your eldest sister said as she ran a comb through your hair.
“I I haven’t thought about it in so long Alex, I don’t know what happened I don’t know why it got so bad.” Alex held you tight and shushed you,
“Hey, sometimes things come out of nowhere and we don’t know why. It’s completely okay. PTSD doesn’t exactly follow the rules.”
Kara came out from the bathroom and sat on the other side of you, “Exactly y/n, I mean you know how mine comes out of nowhere.” You nodded.
“I just, I feel so scared and, and young, like I’m back there with him and I can feel him. I just want this feeling to go away.” Kara pulled you into her arms and you settled into the familiar warmth.
“You’re not sweetheart, and we’ll hold you until that’s all you feel.” Kara smiled softly and kissed your cheek, wiping away tears that had started falling again.
“Promise you won’t leave?”
Alex followed Kara and kissed your temple, “promise babygirl. Try and get some sleep, we’ll be right here.”
