“Evil extract.” Evil Hyrule dumped the contents of the bottle into the bowl in front of him. “I’m making evil cookies.”
Evil Four made a face. “You’re going to make them too sweet.” He pulled out a lemon from his bag and attempted to add it to the dough, but Evil Hyrule batted his hands away. Evil Four pouted evilly. “I’m just trying to make them more sour.”
“I want them to taste evil, not sour.” Evil Hyrule stirred in a cup of salt.
“Being sour IS evil!” Evil Four scoffed. “Like having a sour personality.”
“Sour is not evil.” Evil Twilight ambled up, snatching up the spoon Evil Hyrule was stirring with and licking it. “Bitter is evil. Bitter envy, bitter emotions, black coffee—all evil.”
“Salty is much eviler.” Evil Hyrule started rolling out the dough. “Salty people are evil.”
“Most ‘salty people’ have just experienced trauma that caused a shift in their behaviors and a disinclination towards fraternity.” Evil Twilight broke off part of the dough to eat. Evil Hyrule and Evil Four looked at him in surprise.
“What?”
“I don’t know.” Evil Twilight popped the raw dough in, chewing with his mouth open.
Evil Hyrule smacked his knuckles with the rolling pin. “Stop that. We won’t have any left if you keep eating it.”
“Bake faster and I would not eat so much.”
Evil Hyrule cut out bats, spiders, and the evilest shape of all (Tingle), putting the cookie sheet into the evil oven. The smell of evil wafted through the camp, drawing the rest of the evil chain. After some debate evil Time pulled out some evil milk from his bag, and the hot evil cookies were distributed to everyone. Evil Four split into the evil Colors so as to get four times as many cookies.
Evil Vio, wearing a lime green tunic, bit into the first evil cookie before anyone else could get theirs, then immediately spat it out. “This is terrible!”
“We’re all very terrible though,” Evil Wind pointed out. Everyone agreed.
“But this cookie is not good!”
“Well WE aren’t good!”
This was met with cheers and a few bombs tossed about in celebration.
The Lime Green Link growled, “No, I mean—just try it!”
The evil Chain all bit into the evil cookies, chewed, then spat them out.
After all, everyone knows how quickly evil cookies go bad.
