river how did felix break through your walls?
from this ask game
"Let's hear it, Rivvy," Jake says. "We are all dying to know."
River locks his jaw shut, shaking. It's a well known fact that he doesn't like talking about Felix, but sometimes, Jake likes to push his boundaries, if only a little. River's hands are fists, and sweat drips down his neck as he puts up one hell of a losing fight against the drugs.
"Sorry about him," Jake says. "He can be an obstinate little shit." And then, to River, he says, "This is fun, though. Want me to ask one instead?"
River struggles against the restraints in earnest now, but still does not offer a response.
"Fine, we'll do it your way." Jake stretches, considering his next words carefully, and increases the dose of the truth serum. He waits a moment, letting it take a stronger hold on River. He watches River carefully as he says, "Tell us about how it felt having him tied down while you f–"
"Stop," River grinds out through his teeth. "Stop," he says again.
Jakes eyes sparkle, and he inclines his head, waiting. "Then answer their question. Surely it's not that hard?"
"I don't know," River says, voice low. Jake opens his mouth to speak, but River forces the words out over him. "I don't– I don't know exactly what happened. I... maybe it was his relentless optimism," he whispers. He looks to Jake to see if it's enough, and Jake smiles, nodding at him to continue. "Maybe... maybe it was because he was the only... the only person who tried to help me, and he did, over and over and over. He put himself... at risk," he says between his teeth, forcing each word. "He made me feel like a... person," he grits out.
Jake waits a moment for more, then says, "He made you feel like a person," his voice mocking. "That's very sweet, River."
Jake stands then, stretching. "I think you can give us a little more, though." He approaches River and lowers himself to eye level. "Tell us about the first time you felt it... felt those walls coming down."
River, pained, whispers, "Please–"
"Or you can tell us about the other thing?"
River sucks in a breath. "It was af–" River stutters over his words. "After one of the drug trials. I was... I was sick, I– I got sick, and Felix was doing janitorial duties that week, and cleaned me up. He spent some time with me, in the bathroom, just... making sure I was okay. Something changed that night."
"Something did change that night, baby," Jake says. "You're lucky no one intervened." He stands then, and ruffles River's hair. "Good boy. That wasn't so hard." He walks out of the room and lets the door slam shut.
