Dec 15, 2020
I vow to do my absolute best to stop my own personal torture via stories I create and run wild within my mind.
I vow to do my absolute best to stop my own personal torture via stories I create and run wild within my mind.
I've been used and drained.
I've been exhausted and burnt out.
But I won't stop, can't quit.
I found myself holding my breath for you, despite you being long gone.
I often think about how hard I tried to make us work.
And about how hard I felt you didn't try to make us work.
I cry until I remember that you did you, and I did me.
And then the suffering turns to reality and there is no need to cry anymore.
You weren't for me, but I needed you.
There is an anger in my chest and I don't quite know why.
I want to blame it on you and the fact that our love was a dirty ass lie.
But truth is my love was true, and it's not my place to speak for you.
My chest is filled with anger and all I can do it let is pass by.
My ability to feel loved is no longer linked to how you showed up and loved me.
I can see clearly now.