“look ... i’m not over the moon about this either, but even i can admit it’s awkward as fuck just sitting here in silence.” he says, tapping a pen against his knee. “you could at least insult me.” he adds. he doesn’t like even breathing the same air as minki, let alone having to actually work with the guy. but, apparently, their professor has it out for them and decided pairing them up for a project would be some sort of sick form of couple’s therapy. it would be funny if it was happening to literally any other person besides himself but, no, the universe hates him. “the quicker we get this done, the quicker we can be rid of one another.” he points out, sitting forward and clearing the table of his books.
[ outgoing 10:00pm - minki ♫ ] can you come over? i don’t want to go to class today. i’m thinking about her today. i can’t believe i never got to know her minki. it’s crazy, i don’t even really remember her because who even remembers things before they were six years old????? i fucking don’t. like we have pictures but that’s not enough you know? dad always says she loved me but how will i know???? i look just like her apparently. unsent
☪ five times our muses almost hold hands, and the one time they do.
i. minki knox is not the first — and won’t be the last — person ezra park bothers for no reason. it’s crowded in the dining hall and from where he’s standing, there doesn’t seem to be any space.to him, standing alone in a crowded room is stifling. he won’t be able to breathe properly until he sits down, and then… there. he dashes towards the seat, all smiles and sparkling eyes when he sits down. “minki, my man!” he grins. “how are we this fine morning? i slept like shit, but what’s new, right?” the smile drops as he accidentally knocks his drink over, the torn opening dribbling milk towards minki. “oh, shit! sorry, sorry, sorry — ” he jumps up and grabs his napkins, stretching over to clean up the mess. for a split second, his fingers brush against his. it makes ezra stop for a second too long, head down and drawing his hand away. “sorry again,” he says, voice softer now.
ii. ezra likes to joke that minki has a radar made just for him. it makes him feel special, even if all he gets are constant eyerolls and a reluctance to say anything more than five words at a time. but that doesn’t stop him from sprinting towards him, huffing and puffing chubby cheeks out as he tries to catch up to him. “brooo! you heading to the convenience store too? cool, cool, cool, we should totally get stuff together.” technically ezra doesn’t need anything, but he’d regret not stocking the mini-fridge he so eagerly brought with him to the dorm. he heads straight to the drinks, where he grabs cans of red bull eagerly, stuffing all of them into his arms. but as if that’s not enough, he also decides to take a few cups of ramen, fingers reaching towards it. and then it happens again: they reach at the same time, and ezra’s fingers knock against minki’s. there’s a slight redness that colors his cheeks, and his hand drops so the other boy can take it. he takes the one behind it, and is the first one to step in front of the counter.
iii. it’s ezra’s decision, yet he’s the one to regret it immediately. they’re sitting next to each other at the top of the ride, and he finds himself letting out soft breaths. his legs are dangling high up in the air, and he’s muttering to himself, “i’m fine! seriously! i’m fi — ” his voice is cut off by a sudden drop, replaced with a shriek. he squeezes his eyes shut as the feeling of rising up and down unsettles his stomach, and he’s blindly flailing around, gripping on what seems to be minki’s wrist. “holyshitihatethissomuch — whenwillthisend?! when will this end?!” he screeches, and his hand immediately lets go at the final plummet.
he opens his eyes and wipes the tears that had mysteriously emerged from his eyes, zipping away from the ride as soon as possible. “huh? i’m fine. seriously,” he lies, sniffling. “i could do that again — just not right now. give me twenty.”
iv. “you know, i’ve never been here before.” the reality is he’s been here one too many times, but he’s always found the doe-eyed angel to work pretty well. “i hear lots of nice things about it.” truth be told, ezra’s excited to see the blood moon in all its glory, and what better way to see it than at the observatory? there’s a part of him that considered taking up astronomy as his major, but he’s not as smart as he needs to qualify for the program. (also, he’s just overall shitty at physics.) they’re standing outside, and he lets a soft gasp out. “oh my god, wow,” he whispers, unaware of how he steps closer to him. “it’s beautiful.” his fingers move slowly at his sides, knocking against minki’s from time to time. he glances at him, smiling softly. “isn’t it?”
v. ezra is drunk. but despite the smattering of red across his cheeks, he refuses to get out of the bar. “nahnahnah. i’m notdrunk.” he feels someone hoist him up and put his arm over their shoulders, and it isn’t until he nearly stumbles out the door that he sees who it is. “minki! my man! areyoutakingmehome? thassosweet, wow, thanks man.” before he can stumble again, he grips the other boy’s wrist, trying his hardest not to knock against him. he finally lets go when they make it safely inside, a childish grin on his face as he pats minki’s shoulder. “you’re so cool, you know that? so cool.” he’s about to continue his sentence, but something feels like it’s rising up from his stomach and — well. ezra isn’t going to ignore that.
vi. although he’s used to shedding crocodile tears, this isn’t an instance of that. everything seems to be crashing down on him, and really, ezra just wants to rest. he’s been crying on minki’s bed for what seems like forever, his milk tea lukewarm and watery. they were supposed to watch a horror movie tonight, but of course he had to ruin it with his spontaneous crying. “sorry,” he whispers. “can i just — ” his hands reach out for minki’s, large and warm. “i haven’t been okay lately. this paper’s been kicking my ass.” it’s a half-lie: the paper is only a part of the reason for his tears. “sorry for bothering you with my tears.” but ezra feels his fingers slot in between his, the grip firm. it’s enough to make him smile, at least. he can breathe.
☪ five times our muses almost hold hands, and the one time they do.
The first time would be when they were children. It was during lunch hour at school and all the kids from Minki and Simon’s classes alike were teasing Minki on his poor English– Simon couldn’t stand it. Escorting him away from the rude words with a snarl on his face and a small finger in the air (something he learned from his father), the two of them hid in the part of the playground no one came by. “You okay?” He’d ask in broken Korean, though slowly improving. He wanted to grasp the other’s hand but knew it probably wouldn’t make Minki feel any better.
The second time was at Simon’s house, his dad was screaming on the phone to a colleague about something regarding his job. It always scared Simon when his father was like this, he just wanted to reach out for the comfort in Minki as he was over to play while their parents were out. He held off again though, assuming the other would think it was strange.
The third time is when the three of them got wrangled into some church get together from their neighbourhood. Sunny, Minki, and Simon weren’t going to turn down a free dinner if it was offered! They ended up in some weird prayer circle together, performing grace before eating the food and all holding hands in a circle. Minki on one side, Simon and Sunny on the other. They laugh about this now, considering the trio has never attended a day of church with those people in their entire lives.
The fourth time is moments after Minki told Simon about his parents. The other wasn’t really that upset from the outside, but Simon had a feeling he was hurting on the inside. Reaching his hand over with no luck in Minki grabbing back, the older boy exchanged a small smile to comfort him instead.
The fifth time is when they’re watching a scary movie together. He reaches for Minki’s hand at a tense part but withdraws when he realizes it would probably look weird.
The one time Simon holds his hand is the moment before dropping Minki off at his dorm for the first time. “You’ll be okay, you know if you have any problems you can just call me and I can tell dad hey?” The sentence is paired with a warm smile and a squeeze of a hand, letting Minki know he’s not alone.
