#tsays

[heal-thysouls]

Hey guys! Sorry I haven't been on much again. I'm really busy with school and it's my last year so I have a lot of work to do in a short amount of time. I will still be on during the weekends to update (if I haven't done it already during the week) the 365 day challenge posts, and to update my queue. (I am using a queue so that whilst I'm at school I can still be updating my blog).

Thanks for understanding. You probably didn't care but anyway hahah.

Hope you are all going well! x

[heal-thysouls]

Hey everyone!

First day of school was today and all I'm going to say is that it was horrible! I need someone to vent to.

Hope you had a good day though!

[heal-thysouls]

It's the first day of school tomorrow! I'm soo nervous. I'm going into my last year of high school.

Honestly, I'm mostly scared to go because of what other people will think of how I look, and especially if there are new kids in my grade.

I'm also worried that I won't have any friends in some of my classes. :(

[heal-thysouls]

It's weird to think that maybe, just maybe, when you went in public today someone could have thought, "wow, she's beautiful."

[heal-thysouls]

Can someone please help me? (I am disgusted in myself)

I need to know how to be a nice person.

Its the time of truth. I hope you don't hate me too much.

I always/often mention on my blog how I try to be nice to people, and try to help people. I try to be positive, and try to turn bad situations into good.

But a lot of the time I say it, I don't actually do it.

Especially with my family. (When I'm at school or in public, I completely change and become polite, pretend to be helpful, etc. Which I guess is an indication that I know what I am doing is wrong.)

Which, I think the thing is that the person I truly am is polite, helpful, kind, etc. But I am also a very angry person, and when I'm at home with the people I am most comfortable around, since I see them every day, I act like the biggest immature bitch. Arguing, yelling, not helping out, being angry, throwing tantrums, etc.

I'm sick of being the person I am. I am disgusted in myself. If I was someone else, I would not like me.

Sometimes, I also get angry around my closer friends. And when they annoy me or start to be rude to me, I am a bitch back to them.

How can I change? How can I deal with my anger and sadness?

How can I not be negative all the time, with complaining, thinking I'm not good at anything, calling myself fat and ugly, etc.

How can, when I'm at home, stop arguing, cook dinner and do chores without being ask, do nice things for people willingly, look at problems differently, finding the solution to them, etc.

How can I truly change my mindset and actually put my words into action, instead of just talking and not doing.

How can I be a happy person, who knows what they want in life and is working towards it.

I am greatly inspired by Essena Oneill and her lifestyle and how she seems so kind. How can I be more like her?

Thanks.

[heal-thysouls]

I just think we all need to be reminded of something...

What is it that you love to do? What if money wasn't a problem? What would you be doing with your life? It doesn't matter how big or small it is. It doesn't matter how well you are at it. It doesn't matter how much experience you have. All that matters is yourself. What do you want to do?

Now I'm not saying to go through life being selfish, with the mind set that only you are important. I'm saying who cares? Who cares what other people think, who cares if you're not the best at it, who cares what your parents want you do to with your life.

It's your life, and you are the one who has to live it. Now start living. Do things that make you happy.

I'm sick of trying to please people. I'm sick of not knowing what I want to do with my life. I'm sick of feeling like I wouldn't be good enough for it. But you know what? I do know what to do with my life. I don't care what people think, and I know that I can do anything I set my mind to. And you can too.

Why not start living now? Why would you waste any more time in fear of others?

Do what you love, what makes you happy. Don't stop for a guy, for society, for fear of failure.

Whatever your dream is, chase it. And don't stop for anyone else. You are the only one that matters.

[heal-thysouls]

I think today I finally realised that I am pretty and worth way more than I thought.

[heal-thysouls]

Hey guys! Sorry I haven't been on here today, I have been busy. Tomorrow I will have to catch up on the 365 day challenge and do today's tomorrow as well. Anyway, hope you've had a great day/night. Goodnight x