coming home
Classic mistake right? you were thinking Thanksgiving is the perfect occasion to use your last days off and go smell the freshly baked brownies on the house where you spent half your life when you were young.
You’ll take the time, go the miles, even bake until chocolate fills up your nostrils but, somehow, you’ll forget the most important fact of all: you wont enjoy it.
You are coming home hoping to give artificial life to memories that are long gone with people who are exactly the same, which is more an obstacle an less a way to ease into the past. Arguments and yelling will ensue right after greetings are handed out like drinks at a party. That stands out though, everyone drinks more and more openly.
The things that bother them about you and those which bothered you about them are all still there, just waiting to be dusted when you pull out the oven tray that always holds the turkey.
You are the same too, and no amount of histrionics and fake smiles can overpower the fact that through the years you were all so different it is a marvel that you ever gave the appearance of getting along.You dont hate them and they probably dont hate you either, it’s just that there is no understanding and what little there was before you left for college is probably long gone.
Do not act surprised. You knew this could happen, that the odds were high and stacked against a peaceful time. They are your family, they made you the emotional fuck up that you are. How do you think they pulled that off? it wasn’t witchcraft, although you seldom guessed it. It was leading by example.