TW: Vent
I would be lying, if I said I didn't think about just giving up writing altogether. It feels like every time I finally have motivation and a good mood to write, something happens that just sucks the life out of me. To the point I'm forgetting key things about my muses and growing frustrated. I've been trying to build up my motivation and mental health for a couple months now, but it's just... Every time I finally get motivation and this is supposed to be my way of coping with stress. So now it's all becoming stressful.
I'm so... thoroughly exhausted by it. Most of me wants to keep writing, but then there's just the part that keeps going 'what's the point if I'm either going to lose the motivation by the time I'm able to sit and write or I end up dealing with people who dance around responses and avoid talking to me about it." Like, if you don't have muse, or you don't have motivation. Tell me because my brain is going to get myself all worked up and excited for a roleplay or response and then it's going to come CRASHING down the moment the side step the conversation or avoid the subject altogether. I end up in a cycled loop that just feeds into depression because I can't outlet like I usually do.