Congrats on severely missing the point. The person in that screenshot is a mod of an incredibly popular ace blog that also teaches “sexeducation”... and that mod is saying it’s safe to have sex without arousal which... it isn’t. This isn’t about whether it’s safe for aces to penetrate or other options. That mod is well aware aces can have sex and the difference between attraction and arousal. They’re just dangerously incompetent.
Hi anon. I normally wouldn’t answer an ask like this; but it’s regarding a subject that’s important to me and I hate to think anyone misread my addition on the post in question.
First of all, I began my part by clearly stating I didn’t know the context of the screenshots. I also clearly stated that I agreed with everything the second poster said, which included the fact that penetration without arousal is a bad idea.
I then went on to riff on something that the screenshots had made me think about, all of which is true and not something that is clear from either the screenshots or the addition by the second poster. (Which again, I agree with.)
My last point was that sex is not limited to penetrative sex, and was meant as a comfort/reminder to any aces who might be reading that if they’re not able to have penetrative sex safely with their partner (AKA, become aroused enough to have it), it’s not the end of the world and as long as they have open communication with their partner they can still be physically intimate.
What I was trying to do was make clear that aces should approach sex the same way allos do, because we experience it the same way physically. Which means penetrative sex is not a good thing to try if you’re not aroused, and there should be solid communication between partners about what’s happening, what’s ok, and what’s not.
I was also trying to quell any fears or insecurities someone might have reading the post about being sexual with their partner as an ace person re: “if I’m not aroused I can’t have sex” which is. Not true. It seems that penetrative sex is the “default” Sex To End All Sex and the truth is there are so many other ways to be safely sexually intimate with another person. And plenty of them don’t require arousal, provided there is good communication and clear consent between and from all parties involved.
Basically, it was an attempt to prevent anyone from feeling “othered” by the post, and an attempt to expand a little on the points the second poster made as well as correct something I interpreted from the screenshots.
If you need further clarification anon, please feel free to dm me.
