I've begun to question my sexual identity as asexual because people in the community are now saying that if you have a libido or masturbate then you can't be asexual. It's stupid and I know I shouldn't let what other people say affect me, but combined with the fact that my family tells me that asexuality isn't real and people saying asexuality is just "straight people trying to be queer", it's actually hurting me and is making me think I shouldn't even identify as asexual.
You are right about one thing. If people are starting to pester you with your sexuality and it's hurting you, maybe you should consider how you publicly identify yourself. It won't change who you are, you'll still be asexual, but they don't need to debate that with you and you're entitled to tell people to go fuck themselves with a cactus. c:
Public presentation aside, asexual is when you find sex with other people to be repulsive. You can still be horny and masturbate but find the idea of doing it with other people to be repulsive.