Hello aha it's emerald again bc I can't just shut the fuck up. I ate too much today like over 500 calories and I feel so fat and I had to leave school early bc I almost passed out in gym and I don't want to make myself throw up but I hate feeling something in my stomach it's not even that im stuffed full but there's something there that usually isn't and I'm going to get so fat im already so fat and 1/2
and I found my old suicide note from over a year ago written to a really close friend of mine and the irony is that he killed himself just over a month after I wrote it and I just feel fat and unnecessary and no one actually needs me and it really sucks to know that no one needs you and my head hurts and nothing is really okay I’m just really fucked up haha sorry for bothering
Emerald, it's Anna,
Please don't do anything rash. You can handle this, I know you can. You are a strong, lovely, competent person who can handle anything without doing anything permanent, okay?
One thing at a time, okay? Your head hurts from low blood sugar, it's extremely common. Just like with the almost passing out and having to go home from school. If you don't take in enough calories, then your body is going to shut down and not let you do anything. You need to eat more; you need to increase your calorie intake everyday or this is going to keep happening.
Starving yourself is actually the slowest, worst way to lose weight, it has been medically proven. The only way to lose weight is to burn off more calories than you consume. This does not mean starving yourself by allowing less than 500 calories per day.
http://www.webmd.com/women/features/weight-loss-tips this is a really great article, and I think it would really help you.
I'm sorry that you lost your friend, you have my deepest sympathies. That does not mean that you are unnecessary or unloved. There are people who care about you; who love you and would miss you just the same way that you miss your friend.
Please try and stay positive. Please try to ease up on yourself. Please listen to me, I know what I'm talking about. I'm always here to talk to you, to listen, whatever you need. Write me every day if you need to. Write to me off anon if you want to and we can talk more. I care about you, and I worry about you.
Love, Your Angel Anna
