I always find it really annoying when parents say "oh, they're just doing that for attention" when they find out their child is hurting themselves.
...Why not give it to them, then? Why is your child so deprived of attention that they're resorting to self-harm and other dangerous behaviour in an attempt to get it?
Even if needing attention was the sole reason they're doing it (which it often times isn't), that's still a sign that you've been neglectful of your child's physical and emotional needs.
hi saint! i hope you’re doing well today! thank you for giving us the chance to share our thoughts and theories with you.
i believe gojo is going after akemi for two main reasons: firstly, because y/n asked him to, and secondly, to stay with her because he feels guilty about the worsening pelvic cramps she's experiencing, and that she might be pregnant. since he thinks y/n's angina is no longer life-threatening, he's now more concerned about akemi's health. y/n will probably become even more depressed, which will her family to step in even more now. and we can’t forget momjo, since she’s more likely to defend akemi. gen vs momjo showdown when? gen will go crazy when she finds out that momjo has slapped y/n before and has been treating her sister badly.
from here, y/n angina will reach a critical point, potentially fatal, which makes gojo realize that y/n has always been the one for him. he finally learns that while he could handle separation by divorce, he couldn't bear losing her to death. he couldn't imagine a world where she is no longer present.
oooh 👀 well tbh, gojo does think yn’s heart condition isn’t life threatening anymore. he’s just mostly worried abt her sh tendencies since he had once gone on that route too, and a suicidal person won’t suddenly stop having suicidal thoughts overnight. the lake scene definitely showed him that.
for this same reason, momjo doesn’t want satoru to get back with yn bcos she’s scared to lose her son all over again. so she’d rather akemi >>> yn.
Just read the demo and it’s so goood!!! Rly want to praise your writing and the visual effects(like the time limited choice)<3 love our poor lil mc…I wonder if there’s gonna be any coping method choices in the future(e.g. drinking, self harm), as how depressed mc is?
Thank you so much, I thank you for the praise and visual effects ! I wanted to show it and Im glad that I managed to do it!
I also love our poor mc and there will be coping method choices; there will be drinking, self harm, sexual vice, smoking, Isolation(this is already canon), and I do want more but I cannot figure out anymore :)
Mc is really depressed so some might already be added in; like Isolation and possible self harm.
A dom that provides you with a safe way to feel pain whenever you feel like self-harming . A dom that is willing to choke, spank and manhandle you until there's bruises covering your body and the urge has subsided. Pain that lingers for days afterwards but doesn't leave a permanent mark.
i have an insane amount of ideas rn and i cant make a million posts, tws: everything. you know who i am.
ticci toby: your creepy big brother, he really has changed since your older sister died or something. projects all his insecurities, anger, sadness, more anger, onto his remaining sister. bullies you at school and home, and things get even worse when he starts hanging with these new friends of his... a new knife collection that he loves to test on you, and with your shared 'interest' in cutting and self harm, it wasnt easy to avoid. better believe hes encouraging you to keep cutting, to express your sadness about your sister... but it actually just gets him really hard. when hes delusional hes the worst, he thinks your his girlfriend! silly toby, thats ur little sister!
ben: human incel/neet dude who smokes a lotta weed. he groomed you online and got you bad- spending infinite money on cosplays and other things to get you to do whatever he wants. ever since he met you online he grabbed your ip and began his cyberstalking. secret cameras and tapping into your computer's cam. he kidnaps you with the help of his friends, who all paid him to do whatever they wanted with you for a few hours before dropping you off in his basement.
jane: i dont see her as a romantic at all, more of a manipulator and probably very asexual. she wont admit it but is disgusted in her deformations and her past with jeff, but shes willing to teach you everything about being a man eater. literally. feeds you the good meat of the bad men she kills. get on her good side and understand her perspective (KAM) and you guys will be great lesbians in crime
ej: you literally have to be a cannibal to be with him. no exceptions. very stereotypical abuser bf, hes ripped asf under that hoodie because i mean human organs must have hella protein. he loves to wrap his arm around your frail neck and watch you flail until you finally pass out. his idea of finally breaking up with you is getting you knocked out, taking a few things (from organs to valuables, he totally steals) and using your body to get off, because you could never do anything right conscious. lol. snap a few pictures and blackmail you into still being with him anyways. he loves you!
jeff: big somno guy. (go to sleep!!!) he knows you cant stomach looking at him during intimate moments, on the rare occasion things ever get intimate. he shushes you back to sleep whenever you suddenly wake up to him sticking his dick inside you, having no other choice when you feel the cool blade of his knife against your skin anyways. also thinks your so adorable with the matching smile-cuts across your cheeks he helped you with. i think jeff is a romantic, in his own way.
undiagnosed depression is relating to all the symptoms, feeling sad all the time, being happy one moment but one little itty bitty mess up can through off your whole day, and [in my case] self harm and suicidal ideation :D
Yay!! If it’s the “if I can’t have you no one can” kind I kinda love it. There’s something very messed up but interesting about thinking they love you so much,,, but self sacrifice is still out of the question. Also killing other people for love is just your good old possessive yandere, you bet I love that shit!!
Warnings: THIS IS A SEQUEL to Regrets, intention of suicide, suicidal thoughts and actions [overdose, cutting, falling], mentions of self harm [overdose and cutting], angst, pregnancy, bonding mention, I did not look up Argentina resident rules
The rain was heavy today.
You felt as if it was the universe’s way of saying it was sorry for you. The ride back to school would be in the pouring rain that matched the gloominess of your heart, only to enter a campus where nobody wanted anything to do with you. His scent was all over you; despite being a Beta, you could feel it. You had been claimed and nobody would dare try and claim Ushijima Wakatoshi’s mate, despite the fact you’re not his mate.
Sobbing did little to ease the ache in your chest, eyes blotched from the constant tears and your nose sniffling as you tried to wipe away snot with your sleeves. Your sleeves, not his sleeves of a jacket you stole. Reading stories of how an Alpha would bestow their mate clothing would always warm your heart, but sitting on a dirty busstop with nobody but the rain beside you, your heart felt cold.
“What are you doing?” Someone asked. Your head snapped up to see a brunet looking down at you, his attire telling you he was dressed to run. Running? In pouring rain? What an idiot. He was gorgeous, though, hair collecting silver droplets that seemed to only accentuate his features. Your eyes trail down to the black collar adorning his neck, hidden beneath the white and blue jacket he wore. He quirked an eyebrow, giving off a small chuckle. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost,”
“More like an idiot running in rain. What’s up with that?” You sniffle, rubbing at your raw nose and cursing the timing. An Alpha coming on a claimed Beta alone — words don’t need to be spoken for the other man to know why you’re crying. But instead of running off, he sits next to you. “You’re gonna get me wet, weirdo,”
“Well if I sit too close, I’d get snot on me, so maybe I’d be better keeping my distance, anyways,” he shoots back, barely batting an eye. You just scoff, rolling your eyes.
“Someone seems to have a problem with me. I don’t even know who you are, stranger,” you give off a grin, trying to keep up the light tone.
“Well, you’re wearing a Shiratorizawa jacket and you stink like Ushiwaka, so can you blame me for being a bit of an ass?” He says, grinning. Though you were keeping a light tone, his words quickly reminded you of the position you’re in. Gloomy day, pouring rain, busstop. Looking back to the ground, you sigh heavily.
“Well, at least it’s the most interaction I’ve had all day. Ushijima’s got a stick up his ass and no funny bone in his body, so I suppose if this is my last interaction, it’s better than him,” you off handedly say. The man beside you quirks his eyebrow once more, your words settling into his brain before he’s leaning closer to you. His shadow moves towards you, making you jump back. “What are you doing?”
“You’re pregnant,” he flat out says. Before you can shoot anything back, his eyes get sad as he pulls himself back some more. “You’re going to kill yourself because he abandoned you?”
“How-” you sputter, tears springing to your eyes once more, “how did you-”
“You know if he’s abandoned you, another Alpha can take claim, right? You’re not worthless,”
“Easy for you to say. I’m a Beta with an Alpha’s bond mark. An Alpha that doesn’t even want to talk to me. My family and friends have turned their backs on me because it’s my fault. I wouldn’t expect an Alpha to understand the other party’s feelings,” you say, wiping away the tears. Despite trying to appear strong, your eyes are wet and there’s snot running down your face. “No Alpha wants Ushijima Wakatoshi’s leftovers. Don’t make me laugh,”
“Well, a cute little Beta would look better with a genuine smile then tears in their eyes, wouldn’t you agree?” He smiles, rubbing your cheek, but you slap away his hand.
“Stop patronizing me. You sound like a creepy old man. Who even are you?”
“Oh, I didn’t think I had to introduce myself. I’m Oikawa Tōru,” he smiles once more, a genuine smile, as he holds out his hand. “And if there’s someone who hates Ushiwaka more than you, it’s me,”
“[Y/N]. You’re from Seijoh, right?” You shake his hand, although it’s brisk. His nod confirms your suspicions. The captain of the team that never beat Ushijima’s team, but always aimed for the top. Ushijima also mentioned how talented Seijoh’s setter was, but you never expected to be sitting on a busstop next to the man himself. “Well, you’ve gotten my life story and told me you hate Ushijima, so I guess it’s time for you to go back to running in the rain,”
“Nah, I can’t,” he shrugs, but you look at him confused, waiting for him to continue. Eventually, you ask him why. “Well, I can’t leave someone in need alone. If I leave, you’ll still kill yourself. You’re hurting and I can’t just abandon you. I’m not like other Alphas, you know.” You know his reference is to only Ushijima, but it warms your stomach nonetheless, seeing someone actually be there for you.
“I’m sorry you had to meet me then. If you hadn’t stopped, we’d both be blissfully unaware of each other’s presence,” you say, letting a sob wrack your body before covering it with a cough. “Guess I’m the weirdo getting sick,”
“Still thinking there’s no other option, huh?”
“Well what do you expect? You’re the only person who hasn’t told me to face my consequences on my own and turned your back on me. There really is no reason for me to stay here, especially if I have to raise a child without a support system. I’m still in high school, what the fuck,” you huff, running your hand through your hair, looking up at the sky, noticing how the rain has eased up and the sky is brighter. “I’ll be out when it comes, but the fact of the matter is I’ll graduate pregnant, who wants to go through that? I’m basically a cheap slut in everybody’s eyes. I just wanted to feel needed by someone I admire and this is what it results in? The more I think about it the more I want to down a bottle of painkillers and never wake up.”
“If nobody is sticking up for you, then maybe they’re not your real friends. Fair weather friends, only there for good tea and sunny days. If there’s nobody there for you, reach out for help,”
“I don’t want to be a burden,”
“People who will help you willingly won’t see it that way. Me sitting here with you isn’t burdening me, and I haven’t turned from you. I know we just met, but I want to help you. There’s a lot to live for and one setback doesn’t deserve to sever that line before you’ve even gotten to the good part. Good people exist, you just need to find them,”
“‘Find them’? I thought I had, so what’s the point in trying to find more, only to be disappointed?”
“[Y/N], was it? I’m right here, you know,” he puts a hand on his chest, a smile on his lips and shining in his eyes. “I’ve seen you at your lowest and I’m still here. Find someone like me,”
“That’s sweet, but I doubt there are multiple Oikawas running around in the rain,” you sigh, looking back up. It’s almost time for the bus, but you have a feeling that if he’s still here, then he won’t let you leave. “Are you gonna sit there until my opinion changes?”
“They don’t change that easily, trust me,” he chuckles, but it lacks the merry behind it. Glancing at him, his eyes are downcast as he runs a thumb over his knee. “But I don’t want to see someone die over one thing. There’s a lot to live for, a lot to strive for, that’s why I keep moving even after all my failures. If someone kills themselves for one thing, something I don’t see as a reason to end, I wonder if it was deeper than what it was on the surface. Was it a quick way to feel numb for a while? Was it an easy solution? Sometimes the easiest path isn’t the right one. Surviving an attempt makes you realize things can change, but what if you didn’t survive? If you regret putting the blade to your skin or stepping off the ledge seconds after you do it or seconds before death? You can’t change it once it’s in motion.”
“I never.. I never thought about it like that,” you mutter, your hands holding each other, fingers twiddling. A brief meeting with a handsome Alpha suddenly put things in perspective. A laugh breaks you from your trance, his mouth behind his hand.
“If I see an opportunity to help, I’ll be there, but the fact is I can’t change your mind. I would like to put things in perspective and give you options, but that’s all I can do. If the reason you’re planning to end it all is because you have no friends, I can help with that. I’ll be your friend when nobody else gives you a chance.”
You mull it over, thinking of your options. In the end, the worst that could happen is you end up back on the bench, in the rain, ready to match to your death. “You know, I was told that if it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is,” you mutter, but rifle through your jacket pockets for your phone. “Don’t make me regret second guessing myself, Oikawa Tōru. If you want to be my friend, I’ll take the hand extended to me,”
“Wonderful! And just in the nick of time, the bus is here,” he takes out his own phone, ready to swap numbers. As the bus pulls up to a stop, Oikawa waves at you as he pockets his phone, your contact information all piled inside. You really hope you don’t regret this decision, too.
In the few days that pass, you find yourself wondering how you could have possibly thought bad of Oikawa. He was sweet to you, introducing you to his friends (who knew about your predicament prior), with their promise they’d never turn their back. Iwaizumi was also an Alpha, but the other two were Betas. You did think it to be odd about how they seemed to willingly to help you, stay beside you, despite having no reason to. Their only reason was a promise to you. To Oikawa? Maybe, but you never asked him about it; if you did, he’d just shrug and give you a vague answer.
He promised to show you the light on a dark and gloomy evening, and he kept that promise. As your friends turned their backs on you, scoffing about how your decision will affect you for the rest of your life, Oikawa was there when you needed him the most. He was on standby all hours of the day and night, his phone always on and beside him. When your family turned you away, calling you out on your sudden friendship with another Alpha while carrying a child, they kicked you out and you had nowhere else to go, Oikawa was there. When you felt your world crumbling around you, feeling hopeless and desperate, picking up a secret stash of painkillers, Oikawa was there to talk to you. He didn’t actively take away the pills, but he sat on the other side of the door and talked to you, listened to you. Even his mom was there for you when your family and friends had left you, but Oikawa stood beside you through it all.
Then your world crumbled again.
“I’m planning on moving to Argentina,” he had said. You were looking into colleges to further your education when he had knocked on your door, his old sister’s room, sitting on the bed.
“You’re.. leaving?” You wanted to add to that sentence, but you didn’t want to seem clingy. He’s been with you for so much, you’re not entirely sure you can be independent without him.
“It’s been almost 6 months since you met me. I actually went on that run to decide if I wanted to study abroad in Argentina, but after meeting you, I decided to wait. I’ve been studying the language and keeping up with local volleyball communities, but my dream is over there,” he explains. You click your pen and set it down, ready to ask if you should leave his house, but he continues. “I wanted to know if you’d come with me.”
“Wh- What?”
“I’ve been putting in extra time so we can both move together, get a fresh start,” his face tints as he speaks, hand rubbing the back of his neck. “It seems a bit forward, now that I’m actually talking aloud about it. Sorry ‘bout that,” he chuckles, before clearing his throat.
“You want me.. to come with you?” You ask, unsure if you’re hearing correctly. He’s asking you to move to a new country with him, which is exciting! But, the baby.. “He is due soon, you know,”
“5 weeks, if I remember correctly,” he smiles, looking down at the large bump. You run a hand over it, solemnly nodding. “He’d be born in Argentina, our new home, if you come with me,”
“But Ushijima—”
“He’s abandoned you, officially. Your bond, it’s hardly noticeable anymore. The scent, I mean,” he corrects himself. “He’s basically just a sperm donor at this point,”
“This is.. very sudden, you know,”
“I know. And it’s also a very grand way of asking to court you, while also essentially marrying you, but I will say that if you choose to stay here, Iwa-chan will take care of you. He’s going to study in California for some amount of time, but that’s not for another few months. There is Mattsun and Makki, but I’m not too sure-”
“Okay, don’t stress yourself,” you giggle, getting him to stop. “I’ll go with you, but you gotta teach me the language,”
“I’ve been told I’m a great tutor, actually,”
“I believe it. Will the bond go away, or is it just the scent that’s gone?” He raises his brows at that.
“Ah, I guess you never took those classes. The bond is permanent, but another Alpha can lay claim on a mate that has been abandoned. I’d be honored to replace his bond with mine, but I’m sure you’ll need-”
“I’m ready,” you interrupt him. He sputters as he processes the words, but then smirks.
“Are you sure? I don’t plan on making mistakes, so you’ll be stuck with me, you know?”
“Tōru, I’ve been ready for a while now. Hope you don’t mind bonding me while I’m pregnant,” your hand once more rubs the large bump, settling on the top.
“It just means I’ll have to wait until it’s my turn to try,” he licks his lips, moving towards the door. The locking sound seals your fate, keeping others from interrupting your moment.
- Years Later
“Koichi, come back here!” you shout, weaving in between the crowds. Aiko is somehow still asleep on your shoulder as you chase your son through the crowd. He’s been dying to meet his favorite uncle for quite some time, so see as he’s the trainer for the Nationals team of Japan, Koichi ran once the match ended. A brief Q&A with the members of the team would happen exactly right after they left the stadium, which he knew because of his father’s position.
You finally come to a stop, grabbing Koichi’s collar as he struggles to get through the crowd. “I told you to not leave me, and what did you do? Uncle Iwa isn’t going to suddenly disappear. He’s been waiting for this day, too, you know?”
“But mama! I told him I’d be the first one!”
“That’s impossible. The paparazzi gets to him first, that’s how it works in Hollywood movies,” you joke, but you pick him up. You’re no professional athlete, but you do stay in shape to take care of two children. As soon as you pick him up, he’s shouting as he sees Iwaizumi, trying to talk to the reporters. He catches Koichi’s waving hand and decides to take a break, going towards where you are as the crowd parts.
“How is the Oikawa family doing? I see Koichi is energetic,” he laughs, taking the boy from your arms.
“Ugh, as always. Don’t know where he gets it from, it’s not like his sister is bursting with energy all day,” you gesture to the child sleeping, despite the loud crowd.
“Well, definitely Oikawa’s kid. He sleeps through anything and so does she, jeez,” he sighs, but you just laugh. A few members of his team come over, excited by the new people.
“Iwa-chan, what’s this? Wife? Your kids?? You have kids???” A man with white and black hair says, giving Koichi a high five.
“Uh, no. They’re actually Oikawa’s wife and kids. I’m the favorite uncle, of course,”
“I wanna be the uncle! ‘Samu is never gonna get married, I need to be an amazing uncle somehow,” a man with platinum blond hair says, but he’s quickly pushed aside as a familiar face comes into view.
A face you didn’t want to see.
“[Y/N], I didn’t expect to see you here,” Ushijima says, tone as flat as ever. Iwaizumi takes on a forced smile as yours drops, a frown etched on.
“Didn’t expect to see you here either. Actually, ever again,”
“Oh?” The owlish man says, eyebrows quirked up as his eyes glance between the two of you.
“I see you moved on. I’m glad to see that,”
“No thanks to you,” the venom in your voice has Koichi turning to him, looking at the larger man with large eyes. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see the resemblance. He’s got the same hair color and eyes as the man in front of you, taking hardly any features from you. Not to mention, Koichi is showing signs of presenting as an Alpha.
“Darling, that’s where you were!” Oikawa shouts from over the crowd, them parting so he can mingle with the group around you. “I was wondering where my personal cheerleaders went to,” he smiles, pressing a kiss to your forehead. His eyes meet Ushijima’s and despite being unable to smell the tension, you can feel it. Reporters and guests alike back away as the overwhelming tension of two Alphas clash.
“Oikawa,” Ushijima says. Oikawa just tilts his head, looking over his opponent.
“I thought you’d look more defeated after I wiped the court with your ass, but I’m more disappointed in that. Emotionless as ever, aren’t you, Ushiwaka?”
“No, I wouldn’t say that,” he says, then looks to you. “I’ve been meaning to say something to you, [Y/N],”
“Trust me, I don’t want to hear it. You’re too late, Wakatoshi. You’re much too late,” you say, before nodding at Iwaizumi. “I’m leaving,”
Despite turning to leave, Oikawa taking Koichi away from his uncle and new “uncles”, despite being in the middle of a loud crowd, you can hear him. It’s quiet, almost as if he knows the words are weightless, holding nothing after years of his abandonment. Despite Oikawa’s bond pulsing, your heart still yearns for the other man, what he could have given you and what he did to you. Despite all this, you’ve fantasized about hearing those words, yet they do nothing.
“I’m sorry.”
Author’s Note: I’m sorry this took forever to publish but I hope it was worth the wait! I didn’t keep track of time while writing this, so if something seems wrong just ignore it. I might come back and fix it later but probably not lol ; Argentina residency rules and citizenship requirements were not consulted for this, seeing as it only took up like one sentence, but I might change it if I look more into it of course.
