“You must have been charming.” she’s looking at a hole through a rock face with a knocked out arrancar on the other side. [for Grimmjow]
As soon as his eyes caught sight of her she became the primary focus. Squinting with a slight scrutiny over her next actions but he remained unflinching. His chest still heaving with heavy breaths from the previous exertion. The scuffle hadn't lasted long but as usual Grimmjow threw in everything he had from start to finish.
Noticing that she only meant to observe drew him closer to follow. Rubble shifted and scraped beneath his steps as he moved in.
He cast his head to the side, gazing towards the aftermath of his own making. A self-rightious expression along with a light sneer take over as he does so.
"... Was'bout as charmin' as Adjuchas ass with the rancid fuckin' breath t'match."
To any of my followers who spent their holidays being judged by strangers and family who can’t take the time to even know you, I just want you to know, you aren’t alone.
On every single social media platform I am on, I try very hard to spread positivity. And I get it, it comes off a little saccharine at times - You aren’t just thinking I am trying to hard sometimes. I am literally trying too hard sometimes, because I have had such a crummy day/week/whatever that I want to put some ‘nice’ in the world in case someone else is going through what I am going through, or something even worse.
Because, honestly, I wish someone was there to be nice to me.
However, the travesty of a holiday that I recently experienced must be said. This is your last chance: if you click below, there is profanity, mention of homophobia, mention of someone wishing rape on another individual, discussion of Christianity in both positive and negative light, and you’ll probably leave thinking I am crazy. And that’s okay - I know it sounds nuttier than squirrel turds, but it’s a harmless kind of crazy, which you’ll see if you read on.
Oh, and this is 100% not made up. Which is even weirder.
Christmas is usually my absolute favorite holiday. I get an excuse to wear silly sweaters and buy silly and/or thoughtful gifts. I get to cook for people I love and their families. Deck the house out in lights, cinnamon scented everything. I just love it.
2018 conspired to change that, apparently. In the lead up between Thanksgiving and Christmas, my spouse and I had a huge fight. The reason? Their family decided that ‘we’ were doing Christmas at my spouse’s uncle’s house. The misogynist, racist, homophobic, Christian zealot uncle’s house.
Umm... How about nooooooooooo. I refused to go, because this man has successfully pissed me right the fuck off every holiday for the last 7 years. I am not letting him ruin my Christmas this year. No. So, fight ensues, because my family is staying with us, and my spouse currently cannot stand the sight of my mom and wants to spend time with his family.
Eventually, the decision is made that the in-laws are coming to my house for Christmas instead (what on earth did I sign up for?). I made 2 things abundantly clear:
1) My family does an appetizer-buffet style Christmas, so that’s what I’m making, because I just made an enormous, traditional Thanksgiving dinner a month ago.
2) If Uncle Douchenozzle acts out of line, I’m kicking him out of my house. End of story. I’m a big believer in forgiveness, but that doesn’t mean I have to let him be rude to me.
Spouse agrees, in laws are coming to my house. Sigh.
Day of Christmas, I’m busting my butt getting food prepared, because my kitchen is too tiny for assistance, really, and everything has to be timed properly, whatnot. All other family members are sick and can’t make it. Okay, fine, leftovers for days.
Oh, But Uncle Douchenozzle makes it over to my house. He insists we all stop eating so he can pray over the meal before he eats. He talks at the top of his lungs and drives literally everyone but my spouse and I out of the room, and I’m squishing a panic attack as hard as I can to avoid being rude. Finally, time to exchange gifts, which means we can usher him out soon. He hands my spouse a wrapped package, and me a card. It’s a pretty typical Christmas card, doves and peace and joy and all that.
And a little note:
Go ahead. Look those verses up. I’ll wait.
.
.
.
Yeah. You did not misread those. This man came into my home, at my reluctance, ate at my table, and gave me Christmas card with a message that says, essentially, that I’m going to Hell. I’m sure he meant well, in his judgmental way: he has made inferences that my spouse and I don’t know God and he would really like us to get saved, etc, so on, so forth, for several years now. But the thing is? He has no idea what our leanings on faith/religion are. He has never bothered to ask, he just assumes we are Atheists or something because we disagree with him a lot of the time.
Well, yeah dude. You disowned your daughter when she came out to you at 18, and literally said you hope she gets raped as punishment from God for her homosexuality. I’m gonna disagree with you, hard.
And this is where things get kind of hysterical: I do, actually, believe in God. I’m saved. Have been for over 20 years. Then again, I don’t think Uncle Douchenozzle and I believe in the same God necessarily, sooo.... And honestly, I would never say I am Christian, because WBC is ‘Christian’, Uncle Douchenozzle is ‘Christian’, and I agree with half of one fact that I have heard from either of them - Yep, There’s a God. After that, it’s a lot of ‘nope’.
Where I start to sound madder than a box of frogs: The reason I don’t believe in any of the same things they do. It’s because I am, believe it or not, a child of prophecy.
Wait! Hang on! I’m not joking! Just listen a sec, okay?
When I was 14, I was a Church Camp (which is a thing), and the pastor at the camp prophesied over me between lunch and dinner one day (If you have ever spent a lot of time around Fundamental Christians of the Protestant Flavor, this is a really normal thing, I swear). Nothing flashy, no booming harmonics or funny lights or suspicious fog machines. But I will never forget what he told me, especially because it came out of pretty much nowhere.
He said that I was called by God to be a Servant (be patient...). Not to serve and grovel at the foot of man, but help and aide others without hesitation, to love without judgement, and to forgive completely. And that, while my name would be forgotten, as all servants in the Bible were (even the Angels who opened Jesus’ tomb had no names) my kindness and unwavering support of people would change lives.
He said this. To a 14 year old girl. Who was eight years into being abused by her own brother, and only stopped being abused by her grandmother because the grandmother fucking croaked. I did exactly what you think I did. I said “oh, fuck this dude, he’s nuts.” And I spent the next several years avoiding being kind to people, just because no one was there for me when I needed it.
Oh, my, gosh. I was miserable. Then, God got a little impatient and a lot less subtle about this shit: My boss asked me to help her organize a food and gift drive for underprivleged teenagers who aged out of Toys For Tots but were still young enough that it sucked not getting Christmas presents. I had actually been one of those kids before, minus the toy drive, so I attacked this thing with a vengence. My team spoiled those kids rotten, gave them good food that you actually want to eat.... everything for Christmas dinner but the main meat course. I did God’s work out of spite because no one was there for me like that.
It was the gateway good-deed, my friends. I was genuinely happy for the first time in years. And it slid from there: Being nice to people, volunteer events and fundraisers once a month, 6 different gift and/or food drives at Christmas, you name it. And I feed people. Oh my gosh do I feed people. It’s like a compulsion: if you are at my house and it gets dark, I assume you are staying for dinner and will cook for you.
But other things have come to mind over the years: I have never in my life judged someone for their religion. Honestly, I’m pretty sure we all believe in the same higher power, we just use different names (which, technically, Christianity does say there is only one God... And if they’re all the same higher power, then yeah, that’s true). Being a jerk about it, yeah I judge, but I let them prove they’re assholes before I call them one. I have always been genuinely nonplussed when people come out to me. Cool, I’m very glad you trust me enough to tell me. I will literally never tell anyone, because that would not be cool of me. Okay. Good talk. And I am actually that person who sees a challenge when someone decides they don’t like me as a person. Oh, for real fam? We gon’ be besties. Just you wait. (One person I did this to actually brags out how ‘insidiously friendly’ I am)
Then we circle back, and that Bible verse is jotted in my Christmas card. I sobbed for 2 hours, could not calm down. Like, dude, you don’t even know me. I am literally doing what God told me to do!
So yeah, if you had someone hate you for religion, or sexual orientation, or being trans... if you had to hide yourself and listen to them disparage people like you, I am so so sorry. But I’m here for you. Because you read this entire beast of a post, so you were there for me. We need to be there for each other 💜
How to get your daily dose of a-spec positivity while avoiding assholes
1. Set up tag blockers. I personally use tumblr savior because my browser doesn’t support xkit. After typing in every phrase I could think of that might be attached to upsetting posts, my dash is remarkably clean.
2. As a follow up to 1, avoid the temptation to click on posts that are hidden. This was something I had to learn the hard way. If something is flagged with a tag you blocked, don’t read it, just keep scrolling.
3. Don’t be afraid to hit the unfollow button if a blog you’re following won’t stop posting upsetting content. I had to part with some mutuals because of this, but it’s made my experience on this site better in the long run.
4. Keep your eyes open for lists of safe blogs to follow. The people that make the lists usually are very clear about the criteria that went into making the list. You should be able to find a lot of good blogs in this manner. I have a few of these lists on my blog.
5. Use the block button liberally. Seriously, don’t be afraid to block people, especially if they come to your blog looking to pick a fight or if you’ve seen the user repeatedly go after different bloggers. They aren’t here to debate, they’re here to harass people.
6. Be careful going into the a-spec tags. It’s a fact that I really hate about this site, but it’s the current reality. Some people have nothing better to do than to spam a-spec tags with hate. Instead of going into the tags if the negativity gets to you, I would recommend going straight to blogs full of the content you’re searching for.
Be safe and try not to feel too discouraged. Tumblr is an awful representation of real life lgbtqiap+ spaces. I know I say it a lot, but it’s the truth. If anybody behaved how I’ve seen here at safe spaces, they wouldn’t be welcomed back.
Previously in my Warhol household in the Sims 4...
Destiny Warhol:Flarben!!!!
Andy Warhol*draws back in shock with profanity symbols over his head in a thought bubble*: Destiny Warhol, not in front of our kids, shame on you, young lady!!!
Andrew Warhola*grins with his hands together due to being Evil and chuckles evilly*:That was golden, lovely, don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone what you said!
Where the fuck were you last night?! I hope you weren't breaking my rules for the umpteenth time, dammit Destiny, why the fuck are you so damn rebellious?! Is it time for me to go from cuddler to complete fucking asshole?!
“Boss, please calm down, you’re scaring me! No I wasn’t breaking the rules again, I was working all night, not sleeping like usual, now I’ll likely have nightmares about you being an asshole to me!
