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π¨π π£ππ€ β π.ππ
π/π β π ππ π€π π₯ππ£π£ππππͺ π€π π£π£πͺ π₯πππ€ πππ₯ππ£ππππͺ π€π¦πππ€
life felt⦠different without him. it felt like nothing was real. like you were living a dream. or well⦠a nightmare would be a better word.
you knew it was real. you could hear and see and feel everything that gave away that fact. it just didnβt feel teal. you donβt know if it ever would. you miss him. more than youβd care to admit, but you knew he was toxic.
from all the times he left you alone. to fight for yourself when he was the one that put your life in danger. hell from all the times he put your life in danger you knew he was toxic. nobody had to tell you that. itβs a known fact that the cullenβs are a family full of walking red flagsβthatβs no secret.
and edward? well heβs the biggest, brightest, boldest red flag that there is. but he has this specific draw to him. you donβt know how he got you, but he did. he trapped you with his bright eyes and old school charm. maybe you shouldβve seen it comingβ¦ maybe you didnβt want to.
part of you knew the second you saw him that this would happenβ¦ the other part didnβt care. it wasnβt anything particular that he said or didβ¦ just a feeling that came along with it. youβre scared that youβll never feel that way againβ¦ but at the same time you donβt know if you should.
you knew that his world moved too fast and burned too bright for him to incorporate you into it. but you couldnβt help but thinkβ¦ how could the devil be pulling you towards someone who looks so much like an angel when he smiled at you?
and the worst part of it all wasnβt even losing himβ¦ it was losing yourself.
βedward i canβt keep doing this!β you exclaim. the two of you were locked in your third heated argument of the weekβand it was barely tuesday. stood across from him in your kitchen, arms crossed defensively at your chest as you scream until you practically canβt anymore.
βthen stop coming back!β he yelled back with just as much anger. his face was hard as he stared at you, and he held death itself behind his shiny gold irises.
βthen stop pulling me back, edward! stop chasing me! stop fighting for me! i donβt want to do this anymore iβve had enough!β you argued, exasperatedly running a hand through your hair.
βiβm fighting to keep you alive how do you not understand that?!β he exclaimed, befuddled by your obliviousness.
βyou wouldnβt have to if you would just turn me!β you yelled.
βand do the exact same thing iβm trying to keep you away from?! youβre being so ridiculous i donβt understand how someone can actually be this oblivious!β he shouted.
βbecause youβre risking your eternity for me!β you argued.
βyeah well i wouldnβt have to if you wouldnβt have gotten involved with us in the first place!β he yelled.
βand i wouldnβt have gotten involved if you didnβt throw a falling fucking tree out of my way edward are you kidding me?!β you yelled, bewildered at how he could possibly be making this your fault.
βoh iβm sorry for saving your life?β he snarked sarcastically.
βi didnβt ask you to! you could have left me alone and we would never have been in this mess!β you scoffed, shaking your head in disbelief.
βdo you realize that you could have died?β he questioned incredulously.
βdo you realize that this is your fault?β you snarked.
βmy fault?!β he scoffed.
βyes! every problem in my life would either be solved or never have occurred if i didnβt meet you!β you yelled.
βthen leave!β he shouted.
βiβm trying! edward iβm trying. iβve tried so many times in the past but you constantly insist that we just need time away from each other. that i canβt leave because iβm your βmateβ whatever the fuck that means,β you shook your head.
βthe first time you left me was hell. the second time was worse. by the fourth time i was used to it and now edward iβ¦ iβm just so used to it that itβs honestly unbelievable,β you rested your elbows on the counter, rubbing at your temples that had become set aflame with a migraine.
βif you keep complaining i still donβt understand why you donβt just walk awayβ¦β he spoke, his tone now lowered as he leant against your counter, arms crossed over his chest.
βBECAUSE I LOVE YOU!β you exclaimed. βi remember when youβd come to my room late in the night just to complain about your family. and how you miss your old life. and iβd assure you that no matter what in my eyes youβd never he a monster i didnβt even care what label you had. i spent hours edwardβ¦ i mean all of my hours and advice just trying to fix you and all your daddy issues but youβve left me so many times that now i donβt even miss you anymore,β you sighed softly as you sniffled.
βstop itβ¦β he demanded, tears now welling in his eyes the same way they had in yourβs.
βno edward you need to hear this. i want all the tears back that i cried over you. every single time that you left. all the hours spent giving advice on how to write your wrongs but all you did was prove me wrong!β you shouted.
βyn iβve said it so many times and iβll say it again untill my tongue falls off. i love you. i told you that the first day i met you,β he begged.
βwell then you mustβve had your fingers crossedβ¦β you shook your head, hugging yourself as you sniffled quietly.
that had been six months ago. now you were alone. it barely even hurts anymore. you meant what you said when you told him you donβt miss him anymore.
you knew he was still around. you could feel him lingeringβ¦ watching you wherever you went. but you couldnβt bring yourself to tell him to stop. you were drawn to him. it was more than love. maybe he was right when he said youβre his mate. you donβt have much time to dwell on it because thatβs the past.
βynβ¦β you heard his voice whisper as you were walking through the halls.
βgo away edward!β you demanded.
βyou wonβt even look at me anymore! please talk to me iβm sorry,β he begged.
βthat wonβt work this time,β you shook your head, trying to stay strong, although all you wanted to do was break down in tears.
βyouβre being harsh and you know it. this isnβt you, what happened? please ynβ¦β he begged. βjust talk to me.β
βwhat do you want me to say edward?β you scoffed.
βyouβre my mate and you know it. i know you feel what i feel, i can sense that you feel what i feel i can hear that you feel what i feel. just stop giving me the cold shoulder please iβm begging you to just talk to me again,β you heard him sniffle, and your shoulders fell.
βwhat? do you want me to tell you iβm sorry?β you scoffed. βi could say iβm sorry but iβm notβ¦ you donβt deserve the one thing that you lost,β you told him. βweβre done edward. for good this time. please just leave me alone.β you tore your wrist from his grasp, pivoting on your heel and marching away from him with your head held high.
you scoffed at the cullen siblings as you walked past them. rosalie giving you a hard glare, alice throwing a sympathetic smile, jasper staring, almost trance like, and emmet forcing himself to look anywhere but at you. you were done with the family red flag. youβve had enough.
βi still see you two togetherβ¦β alice spoke softly as you passed.
βthen change your vision,β you snarked, walking away with your head held high, uncaring of what sheβor any of the other siblingsβhad more to say.
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