[ From @twisted-legacies from my main blog. I can't send picture without main blog interaction, sorry because this crack idea hit me like a rock and now I actually picture an AU where this is a real family and I'm laughing waaaaaaaay too hard about it and I hate and love it.]
Quentin, clearly sleep-deprived and confused looking with a pile of papers around her and piles of coffee in the trash:
Hold on Crowley. If you're my dad, do I have a mother or another father or other parental figure or are you single dad???
Do I have siblings??? Am I the oldest of the siblings?!
Is Grim our cat and Night Raven College our house???
What about my biological parents and my siblings, are we just gonna pretend they don't exist and you adopt me anyways????
Do I have to sign some papers about this? Am I becoming the next headmaster or a staff member when you retire? Are you gonna become a nobleman too??? Are you gonna take over my homeland for the money???? You gonna make me divorce my spouses?!
Unprompted Asks [ Always Accepting ]
As much as he was happy to be entertaining all of Quentin’s questions, first thing’s first.
“QUENTIN NIGHTY SALLOW!” The strictness in his voice was apparent, enhanced even more by the seemingly annoyed slant of the golden orbs behind his mask. Right now, the disappointment that coursed through his veins couldn’t even make him decide if he wanted to cry or if he wanted to be furious. Definitely though, it was somewhere in between those two. “I do believe that I have made myself clear time and time again about eating healthily!” So what in the sweet merciful Seven were ALL of these emptied cups of coffee?! Did she not know that an excessive amount of caffeine was bad for the body? “Part of being a great mage is being responsible for your health. If you do not get enough nutrients, you will never be able to grow well, or be fit enough to perform magic. And even staying up late when you can CLEARLY ask ALL of these to me in the morning, or after classes have ended…”
“I DO NOT EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU FALL ILL BECAUSE OF THIS!” Eat well, sleep well. These were all important but basic requirements for young, budding mages. He would clear his throat then, before finally continuing on with the topic at hand.
“Before I answer you questions, I would like you to apologize to Grim-kun in the morning. He may be a beast, but he is one of the promising students of Night Raven College-- which is to make myself absolutely clear, NOT OUR HOUSE-- and therefore not a pet.” If only Grim would extend his eagerness in his classes however, he would be truly commendable. “And speaking of the School, I do regret to inform you that it is not my call to decide who takes over the mantle once my retirement is in sight. There is a Board tasked with the appointments, I’m afraid that I do not have much influence over their decisions.” As he himself had also been appointed by these people.
“Ahem. Now, going back. To put it simply, you my dear came from an egg. I found and nurtured you all by my kind, gracious, and lonesome self. The egg hatched and poof! You, my dear Quentin were born.” A soft chuckle would resound within the room as a clawed, gloved hand offers the young girl a pat on the head. From the tone of this whole egg-shenanigan tale, it was clear that he was joking. Surely, these were things that he wasn’t ready to share with this adopted daughter of hers just yet. For now, what’s important is that she gets some rest. It was late, and all this caffeine in her system does no real good. It was time for her to sleep.
“Now close your eyes, and take your rest. Put your mind at ease. No one’s homeland will be overtaken for money.” Tempting as it sounded, but he would never do such a thing. Night Raven College was a respectable institution running on proper tuition and donations. “And so long as your spouses are good to you, Papa won’t have to separate you from them, for I am truly very kind.” And as he says these words, the air around him seems to sparkle just a bit. The effects weren’t instantaneous, but it would make the atmosphere easier to sleep through. As Crowley drew his hand away from atop Quentin’s head, he would turn to leave.
“Sleep well tonight, young Night Sallow. Have pleasant dreams.”
