Two B
Summary: Dean knows just how to help on a bad day.
Word Count: 1.7k
A/N: I mostly wrote this for myself as something to hopefully help cheer me up on bad days, but I figured there might be some people out there who would appreciate it too, so I decided to go ahead and post it. I wasn’t sure how to tag this since there is no mention of names, so I just decided to tag it as both x reader and x original character. You choose which you’d prefer it to be. Like I said, I mostly wrote this for me, so it’s my preferences in there, but I hope others will enjoy it too. If it helps even one person feel better on a hard day, then it’s worth sharing.
Masterlist
It was four in the afternoon and I was in my room, laying in bed, staring at the wall. The stuffed horse I’d gotten as a young child and still used for comfort on hard days was clutched to my chest. It was one of those days where there was literally nothing wrong – I wasn’t sick, there was nothing currently stressing me out and there wasn’t any sort of incident that would have upset me – but I was just depressed.
I hated days like this. Days when I desperately wanted to do something, anything, but I couldn’t find anything that sounded worth doing. Sometimes I might manage to think of something to do and feel so relieved, but in the process of starting whatever it was, I would lose all interest in it. I usually ended up laying in bed trying to come up with something to do and getting more and more depressed as I failed.
I was pointlessly running through a list of movies again, hoping I’d come up with something that would spark my interest, when there was a knock on the door.
“Hey, sweetheart. How’re you doing?” Dean asked, peeking his head in.
I just shrugged, fighting back the tears that threatened to start at his concern.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” he said, walking into the room and sitting on the bed next to me. He started running his hand through my hair, a gesture that he knew I enjoyed. “When Sam said he hadn’t seen you, I figured you were having a rough day.”
Dean had been gone when I got up this morning. When I’d woken up feeling down and knowing I was in for a long day, I’d gone in search of him. But his room was empty. And then I’d remembered he had plans to see an old friend who was passing through.
“One or two?” He asked when I didn’t answer.
“Two,” I answered, still managing to hold back the tears. Barely.
This was a sort of shorthand we’d developed over the years of knowing each other. It should have been unsurprising, but I’d still been touched beyond words when Dean had suggested this form of communication. He’d noticed a recurring pattern on my bad days.
One meant I wanted to be left alone. I was avoiding people and just needed some time to myself. I’d get over it on my own. It usually meant I had just spent too much time around people and needed to recharge.
Two meant I wanted company. I didn’t want to be left alone. I wanted the comfort of someone else’s presence. Dean is the one I usually wanted on these days. He was also always the one to notice and more than happy to oblige.
“Okay. Good. A or B?”
“B,” I told him even though it was unnecessary. He knew I wouldn’t have needed the shorthand if it was an A day.
A meant that I was just feeling a little down and would appreciate him being with me. I would tell him what I wanted to do on these days.
B meant I wasn’t up for decision making. I wanted to do something, but I needed him to pick for me. I’d be willing to do anything as long as I didn’t have to be the one to make the decision. It meant I either just didn’t know what to do – as was usually the case – or if I did have an idea, I wasn’t willing to voice it.
I wasn’t good about letting them know my thoughts on things on a good day. I usually left decisions like where to eat or what movie to watch to the boys, even if I had an opinion. On a day like today? Well, there was a reason we developed the shorthand. Because I didn’t like to talk much on these days either, and without the simple one word answers, I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to tell him what I needed from him.
“Oh, sweetheart,” he soothed as a tear managed to escape. “I’m sorry I was gone today.”
I wiped the tear away but didn’t say anything, unable to without risking falling into uncontrollable sobbing.
“Did you eat anything today?” He asked.
I shook my head. Figuring out what food I wanted to eat was as painful a process as trying to find something to do. So I just didn’t eat.
“Okay,” he sighed, undoubtedly not surprised by the news, but still not happy about it. “I’m going to get you something to eat. I want you to get How To Train Your Dragon ready to go while I’m gone.”
It was one of my favorite movies. I’d considered watching it several times today and rejected the idea each time. But Dean was here now, and I was relieved to have a direction to go in. I nodded and sat up. Before he left, he wrapped his arms around me and pressed a lingering kiss to the top of my head. I hugged him back, loving the safety and comfort I felt in his arms. I never wanted to let go.
He started to pull away a couple minutes later and I hugged him tighter.
“I’ll be right back,” he assured me.
I wanted to tell him to stay, that I didn’t need food. But I was actually really hungry and I knew he wouldn’t take no for an answer. And I knew he would sit with me when he got back.
Sighing, I got up and started looking through the handful of movies I owned. I quickly found How To Train Your Dragon and put it in the DVD player. I skipped through all the ads until I got to the menu screen and then just listened to the music as I waited for Dean.
He came back a few minutes later with a sandwich, a bag of chips, and a glass of water on a tray.
“Here you go, sweetheart,” he said.
He set the tray on my lap and then stretched out beside me, putting his arm around my shoulders and pulling me into his side. It made eating a little more difficult, but I didn’t care. I needed the closeness.
Dean took the remote from my hands and pressed play. I took a deep, contented breath and relaxed for the first time that day. It felt like my head had been held underwater and finally I was let up for breath. Dean just had a way of making everything better.
As we watched the movie, I ate the food Dean had brought me. The sandwich tasted so good, much better than it would have if I’d made it myself. I grabbed a handful of chips and set them on my plate before offering the bag to Dean. He accepted, but only ate a few before setting the bag on the floor, out of the way. Noting the empty plate, he set that on the floor too. I snuggled closer into his side and settled in to enjoy the movie.
“Thanks, Dean,” I said when it was over.
“No problem,” he replied. “You know I’m happy to do it. Now, Sam texted and said he made pizza. I’m going to go get some. Why don’t you put on that movie with your pretty boy captain while I’m gone,” he instructed.
I smiled, both at his pretending he couldn’t be bothered to remember the name of the movie – a title that was extremely easy to remember even if he didn’t like it, which he did – and the fact that he was calling Steve a pretty boy. If I was feeling better, I might have been tempted to make a comment about how Dean was much prettier.
Instead, I just asked, “Which one?”
“Uh… the first one,” he decided. Then he stood up, grabbed the dishes and chips from my earlier meal, and left to get his own food. I searched my shelf for Captain America: The First Avenger.
Dean came back before I had made it to the menu, bringing a whole pizza with him.
“Hungry?” I asked.
He smiled at the little bit of teasing.
“Just wanted to make sure there was plenty if you wanted some,” he told me.
“I’m ok. Thanks,” I said.
“You might change your mind later,” he replied. He settled himself on the bed again, holding his arm up in invitation. I leaned into him.
“C’mon,” Dean said when we’d finished that movie too, standing and heading for the door.
“Where are we going?” I asked as I followed.
“Outside. It’ll be good for you to stretch your legs and get some fresh air,” he said, snatching a blanket off the back of a chair as we walked by. “And we can watch the sunset. I know you love that.”
It was beautiful out. The temperature was perfect, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and the sun was just starting to set. We walked a few laps around the bunker before Dean stopped us on the west side and spread the blanket he’d been carrying out in the grass.
We sat beside each other, legs stretched out in front of us, leaning back on our hands. We probably sat there for an hour, just watching the sky change colors. It was a gorgeous sunset, full of vibrant pinks and purples.
“How are you doing?” Dean asked when the colors faded and the sky started turning dark. I was getting a little chilly as the temperature slowly dropped for the night. But I knew that’s not what he meant.
“I’m ok,” I told him. And I meant it. I was feeling a lot better. Dean always made things better.
“Good. I’m glad,” he said, standing up and offering me his hand. I took it and let him pull me to my feet. He reached down for the blanket and shook the grass off before wrapping it around me.
“What do you say we go watch Winter Soldier?” He asked. I smiled.
Even though I was feeling better, I wasn’t quite ready to let him go. I was feeling a little clingy and snuggling with him through another movie sounded perfect.
“Okay,” I agreed.
Back in my room, we started our third movie of the night and I thoroughly enjoyed the way Dean tucked me into his side and ran his hand up and down my arm. About halfway through the movie I noticed my eyes drifting shut. I hated to miss the movie, but I realized I was exhausted. So I didn’t fight it. I fell asleep curled up against Dean, feeling safe and warm and loved.
