Two Weeks Of Whump
Day Two - Needles
(@promptsforyourwhumpfic)
TW
- Swearing
- Hospital Setting
- Mentions of Self-Harm
- Mentions of Suicide
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ »»————> ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ <————«« ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙
It was dark, the only sound being that of the constant beeps, every one referencing life, her life.
Tonight, as every other night she had been here, Karyme couldn't sleep. The beeps taunted her of the fact she was still alive. A constant reminder of her failure.
What made matters worse, she couldn't convince anyone she was okay, not even herself.
This wasn't the first time she had found herself in this situation, but it was different this time. For some reason beyond her own conprehension, this time around, she couldn't just slip this under the rug.
That didn't mean she didn't try.
First, it was denial, and when that didn't work, it was silence.
The silent treatment was the most current one, and so far, it had been working in her favor. The psychiatrist seemed to be getting down with the lack of progress, as well as the doctors and nurses.
Karyme did feel a bit bad about ignoring Kaiden, but he was acting the same as everyone else, so he got the same treatment.
She had been doing well so far, until eariler.
She didn't even know when it started, but something ticked her off. It was like something ignited inside of her, and every little thing only fueled her.
Finally, it all blew up, and she snapped.
She tried to run, she tried to escape, but she failed.
Karyme remembered when they grabbed her, forcing her down like she was a criminal. She screamed and kicked, trying to attack, trying to fight back.
She saw the way they looked at her, pity in their eyes despite her violent actions.
Then she saw the needle, which only dialed her anger up to 100. She screamed threats, insults, everything as they held her down like she was a wild animal.
She felt the needle pierce her, and they managed to put out the fire that was herself. She slowly blacked out, and then awoke in this room.
She was restrained, and left alone.
Karyme had never felt so.. small. She was nothing. Igsinificant.
She could only lay there, staring up at the blank ceiling.
..maybe they were right..
This wasn't normal, not even for her.
She didn't understand. Why was she so angry? Why did she always react in anger?
..Karyme didn't have an answer.
----------
The door creaked open, but Karyme's gaze remained on the wall. The restraints had finally been removed, leaving her wrists and ankles sore. She felt so numb, so weak..
"..Karyme.?" He whispered. "..you awake.?"
Silence. She had returned to ignoring everyone.
There was a sigh, then she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"They told me what happened." He said calmly. "..can you please talk to me..?" He added, sounding upset.
Karyme, desite her stubborness, couldn't help but respond. "Nothing happened." She said, her voice cracking.
"Karyme, you tried to run away, and you attacked the staff." He said. "No one does that without any reason." He added sternly.
"Leave me alone, Kaiden." Karyme says coldly.
Another sigh. "Listen." Kaiden says. "That stunt only made things worse for you." He stops. "..I can't save you this time, you know that, right.?"
Karyme blinked, panic setting in, but she remained silent.
"They want to.. transfer you." Kaiden says slowly. "They think inpatient care is the best option."
Karyme felt her heart stop. He couldn't be serious..
"..Karyme.?" He asks softly. "Hey, you need to calm down-"
..Calm down.
CALM DOWN!?
They wanted to lock her away again, and she needed to calm down!?
..was her outburst really that bad?
No, it was just an irrational decision, she didn't mean to..
Fuck.. what did she do..?
She snapped back into it, locking eyes with Kaiden.
When did he get in front of her.?
"-that's it, good.." He whispers, seemingly calm.
..her chest felt lighter, like before..
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you panic like that I just-" Kaiden stopped, sighing. "I'm scared too, you know.. I mean, I know places like that sometimes aren't the best but.. fuck, they seem to be decided.." He rambles, sounding stressed.
Karyme took a small breath. "..i didn't mean to.."
Kaiden frowns. "I don't know if that's true anymore. Even if you didn't want to, you still did it.. you realize that isn't normal, right.?" He asks.
Karyme could only nod.
"I think we both know that you aren't.. doing okay.." Kaiden says. "I know you might be used to this, but that doesn't make any of this okay." He sighs. "I need you to at least try here, because I can't drag you out of this, even I really wish I could."
Karyme looks away. "..i can't.."
"I know you can." Kaiden replies. "I'm not going to lie to you, it's going to fucking suck, and it's going to be hard, but you need to." He lets out a shakey breath. "Even if they do decide to.. transfer you, you still have to keep going."
Karyme felt tears in her eyes, but before she could hide her face, Kaiden grabbed her face.
"We start here, with this." He says. "You don't need to hide when you're upset."
Karyme wanted to pull away so badly, but in a sense, he was right..
His gaze softens. "..you know I love you, even when I fucked up in the past.." Kaiden softly smiles. "..what I want you to do right here, right now, is let yourself be vulnerable."
Karyme's gaze fell, but she felt that first tear slip.
Oh my Selyna.. it was horrible..
She could remember the last time she was openly cried, but that time she was but a child, and alone.
Now, she wasn't alone.
She couldn't do anything back then to stop herself from making that decision, as well as this time.
But she could make the pain stop. If she tried that is..
..maybe a little effort wouldn't hurt..
..maybe a little effort was all she needed.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ »»————> ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ <————«« ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙