noun: candor
the free expression of one's true feelings and opinions
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“It-“ under Bronte’s icy stare, Tiergan finds his usual lies slip away. “Fine, it’s not fine. What do you want me to say?”
“Nothing in particular. I just wanted your honesty.”
Tiergan considers snapping at him and finds that he has no energy left to do so. He sighs. “It should be better now that Sophie’s better, shouldn’t it?”
“I regret to inform you that that is not how elven minds work.”
-
Or, Bronte and Tiergan talk in the aftermath of Sophie's shattering and subsequent healing.
My Thoughts: This may be 5,000 words but I absolutely flew through it in the best way possible. Tiergan's grief is so poignant and honestly this is just a fantastic showing of what makes the Ancillary Verse so great. Heart wrenching and a bit depressing but great. The worldbuilding is lovely, the dynamic is delectable, everything comes together perfectly.
Summary: The quartet are soulmates and need help finding their way back to each other. What's better to help them than the Soulmate Goose Of Enforcement?
Warnings: Duck hybrid Quackity, Blaze hybrid (blazeborn) Sapnap, DSMP family canon, Y/n is Phil's kid and Wilbur sibling, angst, mentions of fighting, mention of war, mentions of exile, mention of previous death, ambiguous/open ending, and finally unconscious people who don't want tea.
Word Count: 5.3K (5379 words)
DSMP Masterlist
Published: 22/10/2022
(started writing: 29/05/2021, yes it has taken me over a year to finish this)
Everyone had a soulmate. Sometimes it was easier to find them and be with them. Other times it was more complex and took a bit of time for everything to fall in place.
At least, that's what Karl told himself. But if he was being truthful, it was partly his fault.
The brunette kept hiding secrets from the people he loved. He claimed it was to protect them and that he would tell them if they needed to know, but honestly, he was scared. He was scared his partners, well now ex-partners, would judge him, and that if he told someone about his memory problems it would only worsen. That he would have to face reality, that he would have to stop time travelling, that he would have to stop trying to find a way to fix everything, that he would have to stop before he lost all his memory. Before he lost his partners. His soulmates.
But a part of him knew it was too late.
The night before the Pogtopita-Manberg war, the four had holed themselves up inside George's castle, knowing that two of them would be fighting against the other two in the morning. It was something the four of them were trying not to think about, knowing there was a chance that any of them could be getting injured or losing a canon life.
The entirety of the quartet was tired. Quackity's wings were killing him from being buried under his shirt all day, Sapnap was itching to set something on fire, Karl was fidgety with nerves as he didn't want to fight tomorrow, in fact, none of them really did, and Y/n was cold from their bath they had taken to strip all of the soot and grime from their skin, due to Pogtopia not having the best living conditions.
Y/n's brother, Wilbur, and themself were the cause of all this mess. The two of them teamed up once he arrived on the server to cause chaos but ultimately made a power grab and created L'Manberg from a simple drug van and the shared thoughts and beliefs of others.
But then they lost it.
That caused the new leader to exile Y/n, Wilbur, and the teenager, Tommy, who looked up to Y/n and Wilbur as older sibling figures, knowing the three would fight for their country back, even if they no longer had any jurisdiction over it.
This led to them fleeing, Wilbur losing a canon life along the way as he dived in front of Y/n after Punz attempted to shoot his younger sibling. That night Punz feared for his life after Sapnap threatened to kill him if he ever tried to hurt his partner again.
After setting up base in an abandoned ravine, their dad's old friend Technoblade joined them, promising to help destroy the government.
Whilst planning for this upcoming war and having Tubbo as a spy, for which he, unfortunately, got executed, Y/n would try to spend as much time with their partners, that being difficult to do so as two of them lived in L'Manberg and Quackity was forced to work ridiculous hours for the drunken president.
Therefore, the castle became a safe haven for the four.
This led to Y/n spending most nights closer to the impending day of the war there. They were glad they could sleep in a proper bed with the people they loved, and that they got to have a break from the bickering between Wilbur and Tommy.
Noticing Karl fighting the urge to get up and start pacing again, Y/n shuffled closer to Sapnap, letting the blazeborn's naturally high body temperature warm them up, and they wrapped their arms around Karl's midsection, pulling him into their torso.
Reaching forwards, they managed to get Quackity to join to cuddle pile, Sapnap wrapping his arms around the three of them, or at least trying to.
That night, the four made a promise to always stick by each other's side and to never let each other go. To always talk and resolve problems and that they would be truthful to each other. After all, they were now fiancées.
As they made this promise, the sound of an achievement rang through their communicators.
'The Soulmate Bond' it simply read.
That night they knew it was meant to be.
But then again, that wasn't the right saying on this server. What was it again?
Oh yeah,
It was never meant to be.
Sapnap was worried. And he had every right to be.
First, it was Y/n. After the death of their brother, they had started to pull away from the other three, becoming seemingly distant and only really there at night to sleep, disappearing for hours on end.
Quackity had followed them one day only to find them sitting overlooking a cliff. Apparently, it was where Y/n first took Wilbur on the server, where the two saw their first sunset together. Y/n would sit there as the hours would pass, watching the point on the compass spin, it no longer pointing to their bother. They began to snap back into their old self after Quackity sat with them, becoming who they used to be but more willing to fight.
Then Tommy got exiled. Sapnap and Karl believed they already knew, therefore not bringing it up, and Quackity simply didn't tell them. That sparked one of the biggest arguments they had ever had.
Y/n stayed with Phil that night.
Everything seemed fine for a while, with Y/n coming back home and then the quartet creating Cedar Rapids. And then Ghostbur came back, making it easier for Y/n to move on. Everyone was happy.
But then came the butcher army. Y/n refused to let their dad be pushed around and stepped in, earning themselves house arrest, by orders of Quackity.
That night they left. Sapnap remembers the conversation he had with them before they went. It was seemingly normal, Y/n saying they were staying with Phil for a few days. Except they didn't.
It was two weeks later they returned, hearing that Technoblade had killed Quackity. They helped the stubborn duck with his recovery. The blazeborn remembers the amount of shouting and the arguments that happened that week.
Looking back, he should've stepped in more. But he couldn't have known what was going through Y/n's mind at the time.
See Y/n was planning to blow up L'Manberg again. To finish their brother's job. They had realised how corrupt it had become, now wanting to get rid of the power the people who ran it had.
Sapnap should've seen it coming.
After doomsday, there was the final argument. Tensions were still high, and Quackity still couldn't see why Y/n chose to blow it up. Why Y/n would choose the side of Technoblade. The side of Dream. They explained why though. How L'Manberg was originally a power grab. How it was their idea to blow it up in the first place and that they were just finishing what that had started.
Sapnap should've stopped the fight. He should've stopped it before the words tumbled out of Quackity's mouth, before Y/n and Quackity exploded on each other, before Y/n walked away for what he thought was good.
Everyone's heart broke a bit that night.
Second, it was Karl. He started to disappear for a few days at a time, and when he returned? It was like his brain was scattered, and then he'd started to forget stuff.
At the time Sap had chalked it down to Karl's already bad memory, to his forgetful nature that his fiancée had. It began as small things. Karl forgot what day it was, where he left his book, what time he was meant to be at a certain place, and whether or not he had a meeting with the rest of Manberg's cabinet that day. But then It got worse.
Looking back, Sapnap realised that there were some days when Karl wouldn't say his or their partner's names until someone else said them. He had just thought Karl was messing around at the time, him just being cute and just wanting to call them by pet names but looking back at it, he should've realised sooner.
He should've realised when Karl came up with the idea of creating a new place to live, Kinoko Kingdom, because he said Cedar Rapids held no significate importance to him. Before he said it held no real value and that it was just where he lived because Sapnap lived there. Not because Sapnap, Quackity, and Y/n lived there, but because Sapnap lived there.
He should've realised before Karl completely shut him out. Before Karl would hole himself up in his library which he was forbidden from going in. Before Karl would forget him completely and call him by a stranger's name.
He should've helped Karl sooner. His heart cracked again.
Third, it was Quackity.
See the duck hybrid was stubborn, there was no denying that. Sapnap learnt this early on. If Quackity had his mind set on doing something, then there was a small chance, a very minuscule chance at that, of getting him to change his mind, the chance decreasing if Quackity was the one with the power to do what he wanted to do.
One morning, Sapnap had woken up alone. Karl had gone off again, who knows where, Y/n had just left maybe four days ago, and now Quackity had disappeared.
It stayed like that for a month. Quackity and Y/n were nowhere to be found. Karl occasionally disappeared and returned with his memory shot. Sapnap, probably wouldn't have minded so much if Quackity had told him where he was going, but after another month of no contact?
His heart broke again.
And the worse thing was? Karl had no idea what Quackity or Y/n meant to all of them.
And Finally, it was himself.
He could feel himself slipping away. With Karl coming and going, and no word from either Y/n or Quackity, Sapnap was stuck.
It wasn't like he had anyone to go to. His brother was locked away in a heavily armed prison, rightfully so; his Aunt Puffy was busy trying to deal with the fact one of her sons was locked up and also trying to solve this problem with the egg; his dad had been possessed by said egg, and was currently trying to take over the server; and his best friend was in some sort of deep sleep, only occasionally waking up.
He didn't know how much longer he could be there for Karl. As much as it broke him to ever think about leaving the Jacobs boy, he didn't know if it was worth it anymore, not without his partners. His first love and his third.
He didn't know how he could continue like this.
About a month after the fight, Y/n wanted to go back. Even if everything wouldn't go back to normal, they still wanted to see them, to check that they were doing okay. Because if their partners, well ex-partners were okay, then they'd be okay.
Or at least that's what they kept telling themselves.
The day they went to leave, Y/n climbed down the ladder leading to their room, only to be met with their dad, Philza, in the main room. As they made their way towards the front door and began to pull their cloak on, he stopped them.
"What are you doing?" he asked, nursing the warm mug between his hands.
Y/n sighed, not wanting to have this conversation with their dad but knowing he wouldn't let him go without telling him first, "I'm heading to Cedar Rapids, why? Is something wrong?"
Phil's face fell slightly, "There's a blizzard. You won't be able to make it Y/n."
Y/n's face dropped, and their heart sank in their chest, "How long will it last?"
They hoped it wouldn't be more than a few days at most, however, they were wrong. They ended up spending the next month trapped in the Arctic, unable to get to where they needed to. Unable to apologise for the shit they said.
The day they were finally able to get to Cedar Rapids, it was empty. The land was barren, but the buildings still standing. Their shared house was empty of the majority of everyone's belongings, only a few of theirs and Quackitys left behind.
Where was everyone?
As they stumbled out of the house, tears trying not to fall from their eyes they hit a solid object. Their hands came up to steady themselves, something grabbing onto their biceps. Looking up they saw the face of one of their fiancées.
Pulling back from their grip, Y/n wiped away their tears, wrapping the arms around their torso curling in on themselves. Their fiancée's wings drooped in response and his arms dropped to his sides. The two noticed the obvious distance between them, both physically and emotionally.
Choosing to break the silence between them, Y/n spoke up, "Hey."
Quackity stood still, having an internal malfunction. He was trying not to say anything he didn't want to say, not wanting to screw up again. His wings tightened up behind him, the slits in his shirt allowing his wings to come through, as he stood defensively. His instincts were screaming at him to comfort Y/n.
"Hey."
Looking up at the duck hybrid, Y/n locked eyes with his, and anyone could practically see the awkwardness between the two.
"So, uh," Y/n began, eyes still locked with his, "How are you?"
Quackity's wings fluttered slightly, "I'm alright I guess?"
His response came out as a sort of question, confusing Y/n slightly but they choose not to question it.
"How're the others?"
Quackity paused and Y/n could see them visible tense and him trying to form an answer but not knowing what to say.
"Quackity?" Y/n began, taking a step closer to him, "What happened?"
Hopping through the nether portal, Y/n grabbed a bunch of snow and hurled it at the goose that was following them, it letting out an exasperated honk and flapping its wings in annoyance. They stood up letting out curse words at the animal, beginning their trek back to their shared home. The white feathered animal biting against Y/n’s cloak and pants, attempting to pull the human back towards the nether portal.
The door slammed shut as Y/n walked through it, shrugging off the snow that had landed on their cloak. It felt like their ears were ringing, their mind spinning even though they could see clearly.
"What do you mean you left?"
"I did exactly what they did. What you did-"
Phil looked concerned at them, wondering what had happened, as his kid nonchalantly discarded their cloak and bag.
"What do you mean by that, Q? Where's Sapnap and Karl anyway, shouldn't they be around?"
"Well I wouldn't know, I came back one day to get them only to find they had disappeared along with all their stuff and most of ours."
"What do you mean disappeared?"
Phil's confusion began to grow as he heard the patter of webbed feet on his floor.
"Like gone. I don't even know where they are."
"Y/n," Phil began, walking closer and seeing the white goose standing next to his child, the goose attempting to pull on his kid's pant leg, it hissing at them when they shooed it off, "What's that?"
"This?" Y/n looked down at the goose, letting out a hiss in response to it honking at them, "It's a goose. And it won't leave me alone." They began frustration seeping through their voice, "Apparently it won't die, no matter how many times you push it into lava. So now I'm guessing it's some sort of immortal being that's come to spite me for my wrongdoings."
Y/n turned and climbed the ladder to the upper part of the house, the goose nestling down by the stairs, ruffling its feathers before it seemingly began to settle down.
"It's a soulmate goose."
Philza's head snapped around to face the voice, him calming once he realised that it was only Kristin. She made her way towards him, resting her hand gently on his shoulder, Phil leaning into the touch he could barely feel.
"The soulmate goose of enforcement only appears when there is an obstacle a soulmate pairing needs help to overcome," She continued walking over to pet the goose before it vanished, "It seems as if our little crow needs some help after all."
Upstairs, Y/n stared out of their window, watching the snow gently fall as they played with the three rings that were attached to a necklace around their neck. Each one with an engraving that referred to each counterpart in their past relationship.
"What do we do?" Y/n asked sitting down next to Quackity on the ground. The duck hybrid had finally stopped pacing and was now frustratedly pulling strands of grass from the ground before throwing them down, "How are we meant to find them?"
"I don't know," He began, "I don't know. I just- I keep thinking if we hadn't... You know... Then everything would be okay."
The two looked down at the ground, not noticing the goose begin to materialise in the distance. The silence between them was awkward. Neither of them knew how to continue and say what they wanted to.
"I came to apologise," Y/n spoke up, beginning to rip grass up from the ground. "I tried to come a month ago, but then there was a storm. But-"
"It would've still been too late," Quackity cut them off. Y/n looked up at him only to see him staring at the ground, refusing to look at them. "I left because I thought you weren't coming back, and then I had this idea-"
"What do you mean you thought I wasn't coming back? Quackity, I made a promise and so did you and the others! That we'd never walk away. Ever."
"Well, I'm sorry for thinking that then! It's just after the shit we both said I thought you were leaving this time for good! That you'd finally given up on us!"
"Can we not argue for once?"
"Oh, says you."
He stood up, taking a few steps backwards, before groaning in disdain.
"What now?"
"That fucking Goose is back!" Quackity sighed out, "I swear, it won't leave me alone."
"Okay, and what does that have to do with finding Karl and Sapnap?"
"I don't know okay! It's just this fucking thing won't leave me alone and keeps trying to drag me through nether portals." Quackity sighed, clearly frustrated.
"I'm sorry," he grumbled out, "I'm not good with emotions sometimes."
"I know," Y/n replied before standing up and taking Quackity's hands in theirs, rubbing their thumbs on the back of his palms when he didn't object or try to pull away. "You'd think the blaze hybrid would be the most hot-headed out of the four of us. Turns out, he's the least."
Quackity let out a small smile at their words before enveloping them in his arms, his wings fluttering and encasing the two of them.
“We still need to work stuff out,” Y/n said, voice slightly muffled, from where their head was buried in Quackity’s shirt.
“I know sweetheart, I know.”
Sapnap was outside.
And he was touching grass.
This wasn’t unusual for the blaze hybrid, him liking to sit in the flower fields surrounding his house.
When Karl choose the leave Cedar Rapids, Sapnap couldn't help but follow him, not wanting to lose the last of his partners, even though it felt as if he had already gone. Like Karl had slipped through his fingers and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
He thinks that may be the reason why he subconsciously chose this place to live. The flower fields reminded him of the unproblematic childhood he had and the first home he knew.
The loud honk, which came from his left, startled him enough that he dropped the flower crown he was absentmindedly weaving, fire igniting around his horns. The amber flames swirled before dying down.
The goose waddled over to him, attempting to bite onto his sleeve and drag him. Sapnap attempted to swat him away only for the goose to hiss at him.
After a least a minute of this happening, Sapnap sighed at the animal before grabbing it over its wings and lifting it into his lap, the goose immediately settling down but now gnawing on his hand.
“Why do you have a Soulmate Goose?”
Sapnap didn't tear his eyes away from the creature that was nestled in his lap, it was still keen on trying to bite his fingers off.
“Nice to see you too Drista,” he said back, “What do you want?”
“To know why you have a soulmate goose? Duh?”
Spanap gave her a deadpan look, “Well I don’t know. Shouldn’t you know, aren’t you like a god or something?”
The teenager glared at him from where she was floating in the sky, “Just because you’re best friends with my brother doesn’t mean I like you.”
Sapnap rolled his eyes in response, returning to pet the animal in his lap, the softness of the feathers reminding him of the nights when Quackity would let them help preen his wings. The duck usually ends up curled up on his lap, his head on Sapnap’s chest listening to his heartbeat letting out soft chirps of appreciation. Sapnap's heart clenched at the memory.
The teenager let herself land on the ground, sitting down amongst the flowers as she stared to mess with the grass.
“My brother told me about them.”
“Who, Dream?”
“No, XD,” she glared back at him when he interrupted her, “He used to say that sometimes the humans would need help to be with their soulmate and that he and some of the other gods created this being that would help them, the people giving it its name.”
“The soulmate goose? Really?”
“That’s not its full name, idiot. It’s the Soulmate Goose of Enforcement,” Drista deadpanned. “Anyway, I wouldn’t have thought you would end up meeting it, you know. You get along so well with Karl, Quackity, and Y/n, therefore you wouldn’t- Oh.”
Sap looked down away from the teenager, returning to give the now quiet goose more pets.
“Yeah,” Sapnap whispered in response.
Feeling really awkward about the situation, the teenage god thought it would be best that she left, “I’m going to go and find Tommy, bye Snapchat!”
And with that, she teleported away leaving the blaze hybrid alone in the field.
Sapnap began to think about his choices again. About everything that had happened, about everything he didn’t say, about everything he could’ve, no should’ve done.
He knew he should’ve stepped in and stopped Y/n and Quackity from arguing. He knew he should’ve helped Karl more before he began to forget everything. He knew he should’ve helped himself, to stop himself from walking away from his home.
Yes, Kinoko Kingdom may be where he lived, it may be his, or partly his, but it wasn’t his home. Cedar Rapids was more his home, if anything, the Dream SMP was more of his home than this place.
His fiancées are his home, not here. Not anywhere else.
Not this place he ran to when he was scared. When he was terrified of losing the last person who meant something to him.
A few tears escaped his eyes, but he quickly wiped them away as the Goose in his lap let out another honk.
Unbeknownst to him, a figure started to approach him, coming to a stop a few feet in front of him, gentle cawing being heard a lot more.
“She was right you know,” The woman said, Sap looking up at the person standing in front of him, not recognising the figure. He tensed up, ready to fight the unknown person, but only if it came to it, "I didn't expect you four to have him."
"I'm sorry, but who are you?" he asked only for the woman to gently smile in response.
"I'm Kristin, Goddess of Death-"
"You're Y/n's mom," Sapnap interrupted.
"I am, amongst other things," Kristin sat down in front of the young adult, "It's nice to finally meet you Sapnap. Y/n talks about you quite a bit."
One of the few crows flying around came and hopped down on the ground between the two, dropping Kristin a shiny rock, letting the goddess pet them before flying off and joining the rest of its brethren.
"Sapnap," Kristin began, letting the blaze focus his attention back on her, "The best thing I could do is give you advice. Don't spend time dwelling on what needs to be done. Go, find Y/n and Quackity, and talk. If you keep bottling up your feelings, it's going to get you nowhere, and this guy here is just going to get more mad at the four of you for being idiots."
"They left," Sapnap replied, voice cracking slightly, "They left us-"
He tried to continue talking but sobs left his mouth as tears started to fall. His shoulders shook with each shuddering breath he took, his horns lighting with a dull blue fire once again.
Kristin shuffled forward, wrapping her arms around him, letting his head fall onto her shoulder as she ran a hand through his hair, comforting her almost son-in-law.
And as Sapnap let the tears fall from him and his emotions run, he knew he couldn't continue like this. He knew something had to change.
The rain was bad that night.
It didn't rain much in Las Nevadas, it being in a warmer part of the smp, but when it rained, it poured like hell.
It was mainly when thunderstorms would happen in the main part of the greater smp that the weather would really be affected. It was like a cycle. Heavy rain that would cause the river to rise where L'Manberg once stood meant that light showers would last an hour at most and thunderstorms would cause heavy rainfall that would soak anyone to the bone.
Quackity knew it was a bad storm because even Slime was holed up inside.
He had managed to zone out the sound of rain hitting the window, the continuous drone allowing him to block it out as inherent background noise. The occasional flashes of light caused his wings to twitch in anticipation.
There was something wrong.
Quackity didn't know what exactly. It was more of an inherent feeling creeping up behind him, causing the occasional shiver to run down his spine. He just couldn't put his finger on it.
Slime was sat by the window, looking out across Las Nevadas. He personally likes the rain, just when it gets too heavy it affects his viscosity too much and throws him off. 'There's always the fountain', he thought, his fingers tracing the raindrops across the window.
Slime was following the raindrops as they fell, his finger reaching up to trace them before he remembered what his friend Quackity had told him the last time he did that.
Slime knew that he was a goopy guy but sometimes he would forget. He knew that he was bones or that he had to be but sometimes his brain didn't connect and say that to his goop. It was something he was working on because he had to seem like a human and that he had bones, even when it was a no-bones day.
Anyway, ignoring Slime's partial existential crisis, the goopy guy in a shirt and pants, and basically an identical outfit to his friend Quackity, he continued to stare out of the window before ultimately attempting to return to his previous task.
Quackity was not paying attention. The paperwork in front of him had been read at least twelve times but he still couldn't take the information in. Something was disrupting him and he couldn't work out what. It was an itch in the back of his mind, an annoying one at that.
He let out a sigh as he dropped the pen onto the table, leaning back against his chair and pushing himself away from his desk. He let out a puff of air, blowing the strands of hair out from in front of his eyes. Quackity really needed another haircut.
He stared up at the ceiling, his mind starting to wander.
How long was it going to take purpled to find Karl and Sapnap, surely not another week right? He couldn't keep living like this. In denial and regret, it was drowning him.
Even if the two decided they never wanted him again, then at least he would apologise to them. It was the least they deserved.
The shadowy figure in the distance continued to draw closer, forcing Quackity, who had unfortunately noticed its presence earlier but chose to ignore it, to rise up out of his seat and head towards the window. It was a person he was staring at, carrying a bundle of something in its arms, but for the life of him he couldn't work out who.
The rain was cascading down now, affecting his vision and the lights of his city did little to unmask them. His heart clenched at the sight of it; that same nagging feeling saying something was wrong hit him tenfold.
He turned to face Slime, having made up his mind he would go see if the masked figure was okay only for the doors behind him to be flung open.
It was Y/n soaked to the bone.
"Q," they began, terror etched onto their face. It made Quackity's feathers ruffle and stand on edge, wanting to wrap them in his arms and protect them from whatever they were afraid of.
"Q, it's Karl."
The fire flickered casting light across the room. It was the only source of warmth alongside the abundance of blankets piled across the four of them.
The bundle held in Quackity's arms was no stranger to him, the mop of brown hair that usually covered his forehead pushed to the side allowing the damp cloth to rest there and lower the Jacobs boy's raging fever.
The duck's instincts kicked in and the other two stepped aside to allow him to swaddle and care for Karl. They knew he was in safe hands and that Quackity was better at dealing with sick people.
Y/n had propped themselves against the wall, a blanket thrown over their shoulders and wrapped around them. The cloak they had donned earlier was in a pile alongside some of the other wet clothes of both Sap and Karl.
They looked down at the duo huddled on the floor, Quackity's wings furling around the star-eyed boy in a protective cocoon. Chirps left his mouth as he changed the water on the rag before smoothing it over the brunette's unconscious forehead.
There was no guarantee that he would wake up. Y/n could only pray that the gods of prime would help him. They couldn't lose him.
"What happens now?"
Both their own and Sapnaps heads snapped up to look at Quackity, he having the courage to break the scared silence that had overcome them all.
Y/n looked to Sapnap, the blazeborn looking worse for wear. It looked like he hadn't gotten an ounce of sleep in the past years, like he was soon to be death-walking. Just like Karl.
His shirt was clad against his chest, the white material somewhat see-through but now drying allowing them to see the runes that lined his body. He was hunched forward, his own blanket lying over his shoulders as his hands were clasped together in his lap.
Figuring that he wasn't going to speak up, Y/n pushed themselves off the wall and moved to sit between Sapnap's chair, and where the two were huddled together on the floor. They grabbed the blazeborn's hand in their own and placed their other upon Q's shoulder causing him to sway towards them slightly at the affection.
"We talk." They spoke out, the three awake sharing glances at each other.
A distant honk sounded as the goose settled itself into Slime's lap, the goopy guy petting the animal before it began to fade into dust, blowing away into the sky.
Akira: [Saunters to him as he sits on the lounge chair, leaning over him from behind as she places her hands on his shoulders] You seem frustrated today, Augustine-san. [Purrs in that sweet and sultry voice of hers as she gently drags her fingertips across the nape of his neck before moving in front of him] Is something wrong? [Asks with feigned innocence, taking the seat in front of him as she gently places her hand on his thigh, rubbing slowly, calculating her every move]
Augustine: [Feels frustrated as she looks so good, wanting nothing more than to be inside her. He knows he could go fuck another escort but he wants to stay with her] Hmm.. [Clenches his jaw] Akira.. don’t. [Is short with her as he grips the arms of the lounge chair]
Akira: [Furrows her brows as she pouts at him, staring deeply into his eyes as she sees something dark behind them] Nani? Am I upsetting you, Danna? [Gets up from her seat, running both hands up the length of his thighs, traveling up his chest before she sits on the edge of the armrest and traces his jaw with her fingertips] What can I do, Augustine-san? [Smiles coyly as she can feel the tension radiating from him, the sight causes her pussy to throb]
Augustine: [His chest rises and falls as he growls] You can stop being so tempting. [Glares up at her as he pulls her to straddle him] I don’t like how much you tease me. [Frowns as he grips her hips] You frustrate me when you deny us changing our relationship to tier 2..
Akira: Tempting in what way, Augustine-san? [Crosses her leg so that the fabric slips to reveal her soft, perfectly smooth flesh until he forcefully takes her onto his lap] Mnghh.. I don’t think we can be this way. [Stares at him heatedly, keeping that coy smile on her lips as she knows exactly what she’s doing] I’m simply treating you as my Danna. A geisha is always sweet. [Lowers herself onto his lap, moving her hips slightly so that her little pussy brushes over his manhood] Are you not satisfied with our current relationship, Danna? [Pouts as she leans into his neck, nuzzling gently while he gets a good view of her cleavage]
Augustine: [His eyes roll back as she teases him with her cunt] Akira! [Says her name sternly, melting at the scent of her perfume and the soft flesh of her breasts. He leans in and kisses her neck and the tops of her breasts] I want more. [Licks between her breasts as he looks up at her]
Akira: [Parts her lips, breathing lowly as his voice causes heated shivers to run down her spine] Yes, Augustine-san? [She weaves her fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp before moaning as she doesn’t stop him from kissing her flesh. She gives in this once, rolling her hips sensually to create friction] Unghh.. yamete, Danna. [Throws her head back, her juices soaking her panties as his tongue leaves a hot trail between her full tits] I know, Augustine-san.. Please wait a little bit longer? [Takes his hand as she kisses his palm before giving him a bit more as the tip of her tongue moves from his palm to the tip of his middle finger]
Augustine: [Frowns as she keeps on pushing him] why? You want me as much as I want you.. [Groans as he pushes his digit between her lips] Ugh. [Pulls his finger from her mouth] I’m going to need to make an appointment with another escort tonight. [Clenches his jaw as he’s so frustrated]
Akira: [Stares at him with a burning gaze, parting her lips as she realizes that he feels her desire for him. She moans as he forces his fingers into her mouth, unable to help herself as she licks his digits sensually and eagerly like a good little geisha] Augustine-san, dame.. [Whines as he pulls out before hollowing her cheeks as her mood immediately shifts as a result of his words] Why would you do need to do that, Danna? [Her eyes are sharp as her possessive side crawls through the surface] I don’t think there’s any reason for that when you have your little geisha. [Leans into his ear as she nibbles on his lobe to entice him]
Augustine: [Blinks at her incredulously] There’s plenty reason. [Hisses as he does his hands from her] I enjoy spending time with you but I want more. [Hollows his cheeks as he pulls away from her lips] It’s clear that you only want to spend time with me and nothing else. [His chest aches]
Akira: [Narrows her eyes as she becomes cold once he pulls back from her actions. She tries to remain sweet but thinks about how he’s going to seek the company of another] Danna, we’re knowing each other on a deeper level. [Searches his eyes as she wonders if he’s only pursuing her just to fuck her and toss her aside as her previous danna did] There’s no need to have other escorts. [Pulls back as she hollows her cheeks, noticing the slight wetness on his pants] You would be wasting your time with someone you can’t satisfy you the way that your geisha can. [Shows a bit of her possessive side before she swallows and tries to put on that sweet mask of hers]
Augustine: [Hollows his cheeks] I know that.. that’s why I don’t want to force you into things. [Purses his lips and sighs] Are you telling me I shouldn’t be seeing other escorts? [Tilts his head, not noticing the stain] I have needs, Akira.. [Frowns] And unfortunately for me, you do nothing but make them more intense and there’s no relief. [Doesn’t want her to feel guilty but he’s honest with her]
Akira: [Remains silent as she purses her lips and sits in front of him, crossing her legs as her pussy continues to throb for his touch] You can do whatever you please, Danna. [Doesnt want to think of him fucking worthless women as she pulls out her fan and cools herself down with it] Relief? Is that all you want, Augustine-san? [Asks lowly as she keeps a steady gaze on him. Slipping her heel off, she slowly glides her foot along his shin before moving between his thighs] Perhaps I haven’t been taking care of my Danna all that well.. [Feigns a little pout as she gazes at him darkly while her soft heel presses against his cock, rubbing him slowly to ease him into it]
Augustine: I want you. [Reiterates himself as he stares at her. He cocks a brow at her ministrations before groaning ass his dick throbs] Akira.. [Sighs as he melts against her foot. His hand reaches for her leg and strokes her flesh]
Akira: [Draws in a deep breath as she can feel how hard he is against her foot. She adds more pressure against his cock as she watches the pleasured and frustrated look on his features] Do you want me to stop, Danna? Mmm.. but you need this release.. [Coos sweetly as she teasingly rubs his cock, loving how thick and endowed he is]
Augustine: No, don’t stop. [Bites his lip as he begs] That feels so good.. [Whines as his brows furrow. He grips the armrest as he tries to keep from taking her then and there]
Akira: [Smiles sinfully as she hears his begging sounds, watching his face and the way that his body tenses all because of a simple touch] /Then let me give you more, Danna./ [She removes her foot from him as she sits on the armrest again] /I’ll make you feel good again./ [Runs her hand down his chest before unbuckling his belt. She presses her forehead against his, teasing his mouth but not letting him taste her until she slips her hand into his pants, stroking his cock over his boxers] You don’t need anyone else, Augustine-san. [Whispers lowly as she grips his cock, pressing her thumb against his tip rubbing him slowly above the fabric]
Akira: [Smiles sinfully as she hears his begging sounds, watching his face and the way that his body tenses all because of a simple touch] /Then let me give you more, Danna./ [She removes her foot from him as she sits on the armrest again] /I’ll make you feel good again./ [Runs her hand down his chest before unbuckling his belt. She presses her forehead against his, teasing his mouth but not letting him taste her until she slips her hand into his pants, stroking his cock over his boxers] You don’t need anyone else, Augustine-san. [Whispers lowly as she grips his cock, pressing her thumb against his tip rubbing him slowly above the fabric]
Augustine: Mngh.. [Groans] Baby please.. [Whimpers as he feels her soft hand against his hard dick] Akira. [Cranes his neck to kiss her, sucking her lower lip]
Akira: [Melts for his term of endearment as she massages his cock with her fingertips and increases the stimulation] Tell me that I’m the only one you want, Danna. [Speaks against his mouth before her tongue rolls against his, moaning as he takes her lower lip] Mmngh.. /I want you to feel better../ [Gently presses her breasts against his face, stroking him off eagerly as she grips his cock and gives his tip the attention]
Augustine: [Kisses her plump breasts as she gives him so much pleasure] Mngh.. fuck.. you’re going to make me cum for you. [Growls as he looks up at her heatedly]
Akira: [Feeds off of the look in his eyes as she refrains from slipping her hand into his boxers to feel his flesh] /Please, Danna../ I’ll clean up the mess. [Steals kisses from his mouth as she pumps his cock at a quicker pace, licking his lips before adding more stimulation around his throbbing head]
Augustine: [His eyes roll back as she fills his senses. He can’t hold back and cums inside of his boxers] Fuck.. [Releases a drawled moan]
Akira: [Releases sweet moans as he cums for her, feeling his cum seeping through his boxers and coating her hand] /Mine./ [Slips her digit under his boxers to feel his slit, collecting his thick cum before cleaning it off her fingers] Does my Danna feel better now? [Eyes him deeply, sucking her fingers clean and moaning as his taste is addicting to her]
Augustine: [His chest rises and falls as he calms down] Oui.. [Watches as she tastes his cum] You drive me crazy.. [Sighs as he looks down at the mess] You’ve made such a mess, Akira.. you said you’d clean me up.
Akira: [Feigns an innocent look but her signature smile gives her away as she leans in and kisses the corner of his lips] Mmm. A geisha always fulfills her promises. [Whispers softly] Should we go back to my room so that I can give you a bath, Danna? [Gets up from the armrest as she the thought of massaging him in the bath tempts her]
Augustine: [Looks up at her, groaning at her words] Oui.. I’d like that very much.. [Gets up and fixes his pants. He uses his jacket to cover himself up as they go back to her room] I’d much rather spend my evening with you than with another escort. [Enters her room with his card, going to the restroom and undressing because he’s not waiting anymore]
Akira: [Keeps close to him as they make their way back to her room. She finds herself amused as he tries to cover himself] As it should be, Danna. I know how to please you. [Hollows her cheeks as she caresses his jaw, hinting at her possessive side before letting him change. She goes into her wardrobe, putting on a red silk robe with her hair up and slightly messy] Augustine-san.. [Her chest rises and falls as she sees his chiseled abs and perfectly formed body. She aches for him, eyeing him darkly but telling herself to resist] The bath is ready. [Dips her fingers into the heated water, adding salts and Japanese oil to it as she watches him get in]
Augustine: [He gets in and keeps his eyes on her, never having seen her naked before] Feels nice. [Murmurs] Are you going to join me? [Takes off his glasses and sets them aside]
Akira: [Nods her head as it’s normal for her culture to bathe with a man she’s not sexual with—although their case is different. She keeps her eyes on his as she makes her way to the large tub, removing her silk robe as it slides down her naked figure] Let me clean you, Danna. [Grabs the loofah as she makes her way to him, her full breasts in clear view as she gently scrubs his chest] How does that feel, Augustine? [Coos as she squeezes the loofah, letting the warm droplets fall on his broad chest]
Augustine: [His eyes drink her in hungrily, pulling her to him as she’s into the water] It feels nice. [Lets her take her time but they both know where this will lead] Why haven’t we done this before? [Tilts his head]
Akira: [Moves the loofah in circular motions on his chest as she draws closer to him and drags it up his neck] Done what, Danna? Have a bath together? [The tension increases between them as she brushes against his inner thigh while placing her free hand on his broad chest—feeling his flesh and the way that his pulse picks up] I’m just fulfilling my promise of cleaning you up. [Her face is near his, seeing the lust behind his eyes and knowing it matches her own, but she tries to resist him]
Augustine: Oui, a bath. [Tilts his head, his cock throbbing beneath the water] Is that right? Because I have a suspicion that you will only make me dirty again. [Grips her hips and plants her atop him, her pussy lips on either side of his hard cock] Don't deny me anymore, Akira.. you and I both know we want this. [Bites his lip as he looks up at her] I will give you anything you want. I'll pay anything. [Groans as he rests his forehead on her chest] I've never longed for someone more. [Tells her earnestly]
Akira: Mm. What would make you suspect such a thing, Danna? [Her head is to the side as she smiles with feigned innocence before water splashes around them as he easily positions her on his lap. She sucks on her lower lip as his cock is nestled between her already throbbing pussy lips] Augustine.. [Moans his name softly, frustration evident in her tone as she weaves her fingers through his hair and relishes in the words of desperation] And if I deny it again.. what will you do, Danna? [Lifts his chin off her chest as she starts to give in, unable to resist as she rocks her hips slowly, leaving a trail of her wetness all along the length of his cock] I don’t want to deny you anymore.. [Drags the tip of tongue over his lips before kissing him deeply while reaching between her legs as she teases his tip with the tight opening of her little pussy]
Augustine: [He doesn't answer her question because he already knows that he's getting what he wants] Then don't. [Groans as she takes his cock in her hands] Fuck.. [Swallows as he can feel her tight cunt kiss his tip. It takes everything he has not to push it in] S'il vous plait.. Akira.. [Whines as he's driven mad by her teasing]
Akira: [Licks his tongue as he curses out from her touch before slowly taking his tip in deeper, feeling the rim of his cock inside of her] Do you need more, Danna? [Sucks on his lower lip before he can answer, tugging it back while she rolls her hips in slow circles and whining as his tip is already enough to stretch her out]
Augustine: [Moans out as she takes his tip in. He grips her hips and slowly pulls her down as she sucks his lip] Mngh.. Akira.. [Licks her mouth and sucks on her little tongue] It’s mine. [Grips her breasts and sucks and kisses at them]
Akira: [Arches her lower back, curving her body as his cock squeezes into her tight walls and stretches her out] Ahhh.. /I’ve wanted you to fill me like this for so long./ [Slips her fingers through his dark locks of hair, gripping tightly as she lowers herself down the length of his shaft] Hai Danna, it’s your pussy. [Bites hard on his lower lip as she shakes her hips once she reaches the base of his cock, gasping in slight pain as her flesh constricts around him for relief] Ughhh..! It’s too deep.. [Rolls her hips into him as if she can’t get enough and tries to bury him even deeper inside of her] Now that I’m yours how does it feel, Augustine-san? [Tosses her head back, relishing in how he devours her breasts before squeezing her mounds around his face] Does your little geisha take your cock better than the others?
Augustine: [His eyes roll back as she says her pussy belongs to him] Mngh.. That's right, baby. [His hands move up and down her back as he looks up at her] It feels so fucking good. [His hand reaches to grip her face and pulls her down to kiss her harshly] Mm.. this is the only pussy I want to put my cock in. [Moans deeply as he grips her asscheeks] You're so fucking tight..
Akira: [Whimpers lowly as he grips her little face in his large hand. She kisses him just as fervently, sucking on his tongue and rubbing it against hers as if she needs to taste more of him] Hai.. Good, because I won’t let my Danna put his cock in anyone else. [Shows her possessive side before crying out in pleasure as she feels his hands on her mounds. She holds onto him for support as she bounces up and down his long cock, working his length passionately as she circles her hips at the same time to make him all of her from the inside] It’s your tight pussy now, Danna. All yours. [Water splashes as her hair starts to loosen from her movements. She glides her pussy up and down his shaft, working through the pain as he raws out her little cunt]
Augustine: [Loves how possessive she is of him as he feels the same way] Does it feel good, Akira? [Licks up her neck as he spreads her asscheeks, his fingers moving to her tight hole and teasing the flesh]
Akira: [Grinds into his hips as she reaches behind her to massage his balls, tugging them gently each time she moves up to the tip and slam down on him] /Hai, it feels amazing, Augustine./ I don’t want to stop feeling you. [Shivers as his hot tongue teases her neck] Unfhh! Dame, Augustine-san. [Opens her eyes as her cunt constricts around his girth once she feels his digit against her tight, virgin hole] Don’t tease.. [Whines as she picks the pace, bouncing her ass against his hand as she kisses him hungrily. She nears her release, but holds off, wanting to experience it with him] I want to always make you feel this way, Danna. You belong in your little geisha’s pussy..
Augustine: [His dick gets even harder as she squeezes from him touching her asshole. He pushes the tip of his finger inside her tight hole] Fuck.. [Her words drive him over the edge and he busts inside her] Mngh!
Akira: [Pulls his hair, crying out in pure pleasure as he forces his digit inside of her, bringing a new sensation that she can barely handle] Augustine! Please, please! [Rides him vigorously, unable to slow herself until she feels his warm cum shooting inside of her—causing her to let go as she backs into his digit while her pussy pulses violently around him] Danna, oh god.. [Pulls his head back, forcing her tongue into his mouth for a deep kiss while bouncing at the tip to be fully filled with cum]
Augustine: [Watches her cum for him at the same time, loving how she eagerly backs into his hand and cock] Mngh.. god.. the things I’m going to do to you, Akira.. [Covers her flesh in hungry kisses as he comes down from his high]
Akira: [Nestles his face against her breasts, holding him tightly as she slows down and moves down the length of his cock just to feel whole and connected] You can do whatever you please, Danna.. so long as I’m the only one you’re doing it to. [Lowers her head to catch his eyes in her gaze as she kisses him again, already offering her body to him as if he truly owns it]
Augustine: [Melts at her words] I don’t need anyone else. [Shakes his head] I’ll let your handler know to switch our relationship to a tier three.. [Bites his lip] Where shall we go on our first trip?
Akira: [A smile forms at the corners of her lips as she slowly eases off of him, whining as she feels so sore] Tier three? We don’t have to start with tier two first? [Asks curiously as she feels excitement inside of her, wanting escape La Boîte and see what’s outside of it]
Augustine: Why? We’re already having sex.. don’t you want to explore? [Tilts his head] Do you not trust me? [Caresses her arms as he looks up at her and uses his hands to cover her in the hot water]
Augustine: [Returns her kiss, feeling mesmerized by her] Hm.. in that case.. I'd love to take you to Nice sometime. [Smiles as he looks up at her] But for now we can settle for roaming around Paris until you're a little more comfortable.
Akira: [Looks at him deeply as she’s never come across any man like him] Even with me as your geisha, you are very respectful and patient, Augustine-san.. [Lays soft kisses on his cheeks before moving across his jaw and traveling down to his pecs] Will you take me to a place with beautiful art? [Smiles against his flesh as she doesn’t stop from showering him with sweetness]
Augustine: [Laughs] I think you give me a little too much credit.. [Bites his lip] Clearly, I'm not very patient.. [Gestures to her on top of him] Hm.. [Melts at her kisses] Have you ever been to the Louvre? Everything is stolen.. albeit it is one of the greatest collections of art on Earth. [Chuckles as he feels himself really opening up to her]
Akira: [Giggles softly as he makes her feel amused before melting for his smile as she sees his dimples] Mmm. It sounds horrible, but I would love it if you could take me there, Danna. [Kisses him sweetly] Will you show me your place as well? [Grabs the loofah again as she cleans herself, knowing that he’s watching her as she does so]
Augustine: Isn't it? We French are fucking terrible. [Laughs as he pulls her even closer to him and holds her] Of course. [Smiles] I have a couple of places.. You'll see all of them. [Nuzzles her neck before leaving a kiss on her shoulder. He lets her go and watches her clean herself] You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. [Muses]
Akira: [Tries not to look too surprised as he mentions having multiple homes. She starts to wonder about his work before she’s distracted by his tenderness] /I can’t wait./ [Squeezes the loofah as she did with him earlier, letting the water trickle between her full breasts before smiling warmly] You truly have no other relations outside of here, Augustine-san? [Asks casually before moving close to him as she takes his leg and gently kneads his muscles]
Augustine: [Shrugs] No. [Shakes his head] It's hard for someone like me to build relationships with people. [Says softly as he gazes at her] At least here I know that people want my money.. out there, you can never be sure. [Chuckles ruefully] And there is the confidentiality that I like. [Smiles as she massages his flesh] That feels good.. [Relaxes under her touch] You always know how to soothe me, Akira.. [Cups her face and makes her look at him before he leans in and kisses her] Shall I clean you, too? [His hand moves between her legs, washing his cum from her]
Akira: [Takes some pleasure in knowing that he’s not tied to anyone else outside of La Boîte. She continues to listen to him, remembering that he’s paying to be with her and that she needs to the money to be free] Hai, I understand. [Focuses on soothing him before gazing at his handsome features as he cups her face] Mmm.. I pay close attention to what you like and don’t like, Danna. And.. I love making you feel good. [Whispers honestly before she feels his hand moving between her legs before she can answer. She keeps her eyes on his, her breathing picking up slightly as he cleans her little pussy] Will you cum in me like that again, Augustine-san? [Kisses his neck as his touch makes her weak, already missing the warmth she felt]
W: some swearing and suggestive content.
WC: 2.3k words.
AN: hey, it’s messy bella back at it again ! here’s the second part of ygon... six months later... hehe. so i decided to cut it into 3 parts instead of 2 because i’m stuck in the story and figure it’s better to post what i have instead of keeping ya’ll waiting even longer. so sorry this took an eternity and thanks so much to those who remained interested despite the long wait. love y’all <3
There’s a half-empty bottle of wine on the coffee table surrounded by a few cans of beer and empty containers of takeout food. A movie is playing on the television, its bright screen illuminating the otherwise dark living room. The door leading to the balcony has been left ajar by the last partygoers, the remnants of Shawn’s small get-together lingering on the patio table in the form of red solo cups and withered cigarettes.
Good friends and good vibes, he’d said.
A gentle breeze blows past the curtains and into the apartment. You’re lying down on the couch, feet snug beneath a throw pillow, and nursing a glass of wine. Similarly, Shawn lies comfortably behind you, engulfed in the film, his gaze unmoving. It’s a tight squeeze but it proves manageable. He has his hand on your thigh, the pads of his fingers soft as they travel up and down the bare skin. So far, you’ve managed to keep your heart beating at a reasonable pace and solemnly refuse to glance down lest the size and deep flush of his hand send your heartbeat in a fluttering frenzy. He hasn’t been able to keep his hands off you all evening. His way of apologizing for yesterday, you assume. Or perhaps, he’s afraid if he lets go, you might not return to him this time.
“Hey,” he calls. You crane your head to the side. “I’m happy you came tonight.” The ever-present genuineness of his words and demeanour shines brighter than usual. And you wonder how long those words have been sitting on the tip of this tongue, waiting for the right moment to finally glide down.
“Me, too.”
His smile radiates warmth and love, and when he plants a chaste kiss on your temple, something he’s done a million times, you wonder if it’s the wine that’s got you feeling all flushed and tingly. Resting your glass on the coffee table, you turn around in his arms and bury your face in his neck. A comforting feeling settles into your bones at the familiar scent of Shawn.
He wraps strong arms around you, pulling you into him, and as you shut your eyes momentarily, you’re left wondering how you’re ever going to survive without this. Without his arms around you. Without the intimacy. Without those bright eyes staring at you as if you were the most important person on Earth. And what it’ll feel like to know that another girl has his heart. That he belongs to someone else. Because that day will come. The day a one-night stand will turn into a date, and a second date, and then an official proclamation of love. Or perhaps, he’ll fall head over heels for some sweet girl he’ll meet at a café in another city. Or worst of all, maybe he’ll go for someone he can relate to, a celebrity. Someone who can adjust more seamlessly to his lifestyle, who can complement him, and not hold him back. And the thought terrifies you. So much so that you can’t help but hold onto him a little tighter.
“You’re missing the best part.” He says languidly, stifling a yawn. But he tightens his hold on you, restricting your movements, and rendering your attempts to peek at the television futile. So you give up altogether.
“Whatever,” you chuckle. “We’ve seen this movie a gazillion times. Bet I can guess the scene.”
“Sure.” He elongates the word, sarcasm lacing each letter.
“Uh,” you begin and he presses the mute button on the remote before you can pick up any dialogue. So in other words, cheat. “It’s… the chicken scene?”
“How did you—”
“I got it right?” You interrupt, perking up.
He deadpans, “not even close.”
Your excitement falters. “Should’ve seen through that,” you mumble.
“I keep telling people my acting is just as impressive as my singing, if not better, but I’m yet to be taken—” To shut him up, and retaliate, you bite into the skin of his neck, adding just enough pressure to interrupt whatever monologue he has going. He chokes out a cry of surprise.
“Easy, Madam Dracula.”
Giggling, you run a thumb over the bite, the mark glowing bright red in its wake, and remark, “your skin is so sensitive.”
“Tender, we prefer.” He jokes.
“Want me to kiss it better?”
He feigns petulance, “I see no other cure.”
Nothing is out of the ordinary. But the elephant in the room is gaining in size. What had transpired the day before had been buried deep and sealed off. Both had acted as if nothing had happened. The party had been in full swing when you’d showed up earlier, bottle of vodka in hand. Shawn had been waiting for you by the entrance, a big smile on his face. No trace of concern or resentment. And you’d done a good job of keeping your feelings at bay. However, those feelings are beginning to bubble to the surface. Yet, both remain ignorant of the fact. Of the nearing threat. All rationale hidden somewhere underneath a heap of alcohol.
Slipping an arm around his torso, you lean in and press your lips to his neck, over the bite mark. His skin is warm and soft, the faint smell of cologne and body wash pervading the air around you. Something inside unravels, revealing an urge to go further and explore more expense of skin. You feel lightheaded, the wine in your system having lulled you into a state of susceptibility. The heat radiating off him is inviting, a contrast to the chilly evening air coming in from the patio, and acts as a gravitational pull, drawing you in. Everything feels almost magical. Surreal. In-the-moment.
“I missed you last night.” He murmurs, his voice suddenly gruff.
Mistakes don’t exist in a magical world, right? Neither do consequences. So what’s a little honesty? “I miss you all the time.”
“Even in this moment?”
You pull back a bit to study his face, the television’s colours reflecting onto his skin. “Yeah, even in this moment.”
“Okay,” he nods. And then offers, “but I’m right here.”
Kissing his shoulder, you mull over the thoughts floating around in your head and whether to voice them or not. He may be there but is he all there? As his best friend, you’re not privy to everything. Parts of him remain concealed to you and therein lies the problem. There is a constant barrier between you. A line separating the two. A line that cannot be crossed without fundamentally changing the dynamics of your friendship. But a line you’re willing to cross, regardless.
“Hey, what is it?” He cups your cheek and brushes his thumb over your cheekbone, worry evident on his face. Your head spins, the skin of your cheek inflaming under his touch. It must be the wine making you so receptive to his touch.
Letting your eyes fall shut, you whisper, “you’re here but I don’t have you the way I want.”
“And how do you want me?” He pushes a lock of your hair behind your ear, his hand sliding down and curving around your nape. If he feels your erratic pulse beneath his fingers, he doesn’t comment on it. “A little cooler? Y'know, there's nothing wrong with liking Harry Potter.”
He doesn’t hear the urgency in your voice. But that isn’t his fault. Nor is it yours. The line between lovers and friends has blurred considerably over the years. Sometime after the 8th grade, it seems you’d both stopped dating other people. Just like that. Out of the blue. Hand-holding, face-kisses, and pet-names slowly became the norm, leaving very few things off-limits. Even now, what may seem like questionable behaviour to others goes unnoticed by the both of you.
You grab onto his wrist as your eyes flutter open. Using the arm wrapped around his torso, you pull him in so his body is facing yours. The words on the tip of your tongue stutter into oblivion as you take in his features. His face is so close to yours, the usual stress-induced wrinkles and creases absent now that he's had time to sleep. “You’re like really fucking pretty.”
He cheeses. Compliments are usually reserved for his craft. Rarely do you compliment him on his physique, and on the occasions that you do, it’s the backhanded variety. He’s full of them by the end of the day, anyway. “Back at ya.” Your intentions remain unknown to him. There’re no questioning glances. It's just banter between best friends to him.
“Like... it's unreal.” You mutter, frustration thick as the words roll down your tongue. What are the odds that your best friend in the world is super attractive, talented, and has a heart of gold to match? “Whatever higher power resides up there must've been in the mood to craft the embodiment of perfection when he made you.”
Your sober self would never say these things. The alcohol is in part to blame for the lack of filter. The other part belongs to the imminent threat you felt yesterday. That scent brought forth a great deal of introspection. It had prompted the overflow of buried feelings and consequently today’s spill.
His eyebrows slide up in surprise. “Poetic,” he muses. “Mind if I use that in a song?”
There's an amused lilt to his words. He must assume the alcohol culpable for your behaviour. And he's not wrong, not a hundred percent. Still, you lean in and kiss him. (How else are you going to prove you’re being serious?). It’s tentative. You feel his reaction rather than see it. His hand loosens around your nape, just slightly, but his lips widen into a smile. “You're such a fucking lightweight,” he murmurs against you, his hand wandering up to cradle your jaw, his thumb gently pressing against your bottom lip. “You're drunk,” he clarifies.
“Am not,” you rebuke weakly.
He glances at the half-empty bottle of wine on the coffee table and raises an inquisitive brow.
“Maybe a little. But so are you, Mr. Just-As-Guilty.”
He grimaces good-naturedly. “I'm not the one drunkenly kissing up on my best friend.”
You catch his gaze as it lingers on your bottom lip, his thumb mindlessly stroking the plump flesh, and whisper, “but you want to.”
He snaps out of the short-lived trance. Eyes trailing up to meet yours, he gives out a little laugh and retorts, “well... who wouldn't? You're like really fucking pretty.”
“So kiss me.”
He blinks and leans forward, right into your personal space, and presses his lips to your cheekbone before trailing down to the corner of your mouth. You clutch his shirt between your fingers, longing and anticipation pooling deep in your gut. Impatient, you tilt to the side and kiss him. Again.
Pulling back slightly, he brushes his nose against yours, a low guttural groan emitting from his throat. “We're not drunk enough to be doing this.”
He's right. Drunken kisses in the clandestine corner of some dimly lit party weren't uncommon. But they were rare and arose only during the loneliest of hours. The level of intoxication had to be significant enough that you could both claim it liable. However, the mere prospect of kissing sober or even semi-sober has never been entertained. Doing so would no longer blur the lines, it would eviscerate them.
“I know.” You tilt your chin inward and welcome his thumb as it presses into your mouth. As carelessness settles into the air, it seems even Shawn's will is beginning to crumble.
He swallows audibly, eyes glazing over, and sputters a few more half-hearted protests, his concentration wavering.
Humming, you take more of his thumb into your mouth, tonguing the pad, and watch the puzzled astonishment in his orbs give in to lust. Lust. A sight surely witnessed by the mysterious woman with the scent. And many more before her.
“I am pretty buzzed.” He reconciles, eyes locked on your lips, his finger slowly drawing in and out of your mouth. You nod, desperation clawing at your back. “And y'know, all things considered, until earlier this evening I thought I had lost you.” His gaze flicks up. “And... that really fucked with me.”
Your heart squeezes. You pull back, his thumb wet as it trails down your chin. “Fuck. I—I need you.” Forcing the sudden surge of emotions he'd unwittingly unleashed deep, deep down, you dip your hands beneath his shirt, fingernails scratching the soft skin, and crowd his personal space. Meeting you halfway, he complies in the form of another kiss, this one much more deliberate and intense.
You drag his shirt up his chest, tugging on it impatiently. Repositioning himself so he's straddling your thighs, he pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it to the side. Numerous summers spent at the beach and lounging in his backyard had afforded you this very same sight but under much different circumstances. You place your hands on his stomach, marvelling at the taut muscles.
Covering your hands with his, he stares into your eyes as he guides them down his abdomen, slowly, stopping only once they reach his belt. Before your nimble fingers can begin to work on the buckle, he leans in and whispers something.
“I love you,” you repeat it back to him. It comes out too breathy and too quiet.
There's a finality to the words. Words you utter to a loved one you may never see again. Or a significant other as you stand by an idling train the summer after high school graduation, promising each other to keep in touch but knowing better.
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taglist: @serendipity-y @kaisbby @positivethoughtsforever @thomasthegoatofsataaaan @badrepshawn (i think this is all? please let me know if i’ve missed anyone)
Any fics about Adam being kidnapped and Ronan/the gang saving him? I can't seem to find any. Thanks in advance!
Hi! The only one I could think of is one where both Adam and Ronan are kidnapped, but here it is:
an enormous and dangerous secret bypanaili (M |44,218 | 9/9)
“Please keep in mind who holds the cards here, Mr. Lynch,” Mathias cautioned. “We have a simple deal. You create what I ask and no one gets hurt. Any deviation from that, and you’ll find I can be very creative when it comes to getting what I want.”
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The truth about Ronan was an enormous and dangerous secret.
Summary: "A quiet voice in the back of his mind comes to the realization: he is still in love. He always has been."
After fifteen years, Prentice and Tiergan have one of many much-needed conversations.
My Thoughts: This blog might have turned oops all emotional damage and for the time being I'm here for it! I'm such a sucker for vignette fics that build out a larger world but are still tethered to one moment and this does it beautifully. My heart hurts for Cyrah, for Wylie, for Tiergan and Prentice, just in general.
Now I Know That I Can't Make You Stay - justmelookingbackatme
Summary: Tiergan tries to convince Prentice to give up on Project Moonlark before he gets exiled. It doesn't work.
My Thoughts: Throughout this whole fic I was having the strangest sense of deja vu, despite not having any direct memory of it in my spotty brain archives. Sure enough, I finish up, go in the comments and I have been unwell about this fic before. Not remembering it was a blessing because I got to re-experience that pain all over. In all seriousness this is another in a long string of beautiful Tiertice fics and I am always a fan of Alden finding a fist in his face for the sillies of it all
Summary: When Tiergan finds the envelope, he can't bring himself to open it.
It's been three months since the break, and the gaping wound in his chest is still too raw. He fears that, if he opens it, whatever is written inside will slice open the stitches that he has so carefully, painstakingly sewn into an ugly, red scar over his heart. That everything he's been trying to keep under control might come pouring out.
My Thoughts: Short, sweet, soul-crushing, exactly how I like my Tiertice angst. This is gorgeously written and I think my heart is just exploding for them because they are so! They love each other!
