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After Lying to my #BamsieBestie, organizing this, hiding him backstage and finally making this happen.... you will never now how proud @markstrizzzy is of his 14 seconds 😩😩😭😭 #TypicalMan #CaptainLeadout 🙄😂😂🤣🤣🤣 Run him yes @alisonhinds 👟👟👟 (at Sony Centre for the Performing Arts)

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The boys watching tv while Ninee cleans the kitchen. #nephewsrock #thingoneandthingtwo #jojo #trentin #typicalman #familyforever

#thingoneandthingtwo #trentin #typicalman #familyforever #nephewsrock #jojo

Male giraffes are just like their human counterparts!!! 🤣😉😱😜🙃🤔#aprilthegiraffe #aprilthegiraffewatch2017 #men #typicalmale #typicalman #lol

#lol #aprilthegiraffe #typicalmale #typicalman #men #aprilthegiraffewatch2017

Balls

I was asked recently how it was that I ended up in “bad” relationships. “You’re a smart person,” he said. “How do you end up in those situations?”

At the time, I could only shrug and say something to the effect of, “It’s probably because I am too smart. I don’t need to be taken care of. But I do want to be taken care of in a spiritual, intellectual, and emotional level. Most men can’t handle that. They are just prepared with wallets.”

I’ve now had some time to think about his question. While my answer speaks truth as a general rule, I’ve since come to a new conclusion.

In this particular case, the person who asked me this question had gone to a lot of trouble to look me up after disappearing 6 months ago. We had a rather chemical response to each other and I was interested in exploring it. He chose to disappear. Then, much to my happy surprise, he found me and sent a message.

It was then that I began questioning him. “It wasn’t just me. There was something there.” He agreed. I said, “Don’t make me look like an idiot. You will not have this chance again.” He understood.

For a couple of weeks, there were regular text messages, phone calls, and meetings. And then the sneaky slip began. The convenient excuses, the lapse in time between communications, the cancellations and reschedulings. He kept it up. He said all the right things. He made it appear that I was of some significance to him.

It wasn’t until he cancelled our last date, ignored me, sent a pathetic text message “Just getting back hope your weekend was ok”, answered my call 24 hours later only to let his phone die or simply hang up on me and not call back, that I had a crashing realization.

It’s not that I ended up in bad relationships because of me. It’s that I ended up in bad relationships because of them. He proved exactly how spineless and scared most men are. He couldn’t grow a set of balls and tell me, “I only wanted to apologize to you for disappearing. I never wanted to start anything with you.” But instead, he played the game. The lies, the right words-even if they weren’t what he wanted, the slow die-off of whatever it was that he started up again. He talked a good game. He said all the things a woman wants to hear. He put it out there as if there might be a chance. I mean, really…who goes to the trouble if the intent is never what they actually say it is?

And then I remember, again, that I’m dealing with men. Men have the emotional capacity of a 4 year old. They want what they want and throw their little temper tantrums in order to get what they want. In this case, he wanted to prove to me he wasn’t an asshole. Except of course, he proved to me that he was an asshole by doing everything he had already done to prove he was an asshole in the first place. Only this time, I’m convinced, it was to get two things. One: the name of a band I introduced him to that he’d forgotten about. And two: to get me into bed. He managed to accomplish those things and promptly disappeared.

I don’t get sucked into stupidity. But I have found it easy to believe lies. Even if the actions don’t match. Men are so good at lying. And they do it because they are not capable of being responsible for themselves or their actions. They will keep a woman languishing for months or even years simply to get what they want and the hint of a promise that the woman will get what she wants.

This last go-round proved to me that I have bigger balls than most men. And I wear them proudly, up high and in front, with a push up bra. They are huge and not easily missed. He, like most men, had pea-sized balls, and were hard to locate, in broad daylight, with a flashlight and a magnifying glass.

I did what he couldn’t. I was honest and told him we were done. Since I was convinced he wouldn’t pick up the phone or even return a call, I sent this: “Your silence/disappearance speaks volumes. I got it. Please lose my number. Happy birthday.”

That felt good. Balls are pretty awesome to have. Even if they get stared at a lot. But then again, mine are far more impressive than any man’s.

#balls #bigballs #typicalman #impressivewoman