[ENG TL] Kagehira Mika - Idol Story 3
Proofreader: ciel
Original writer: 西岡麻衣子 (Nishioka Maiko)
Season: Summer
Location: Hanging Garden
Mika: Hm hmm… I get it.
Tsumugi: Oh my? Mika-kun, hello ♪ It’s not often that we meet in a place like this… Actually, what are you doing reading outside?
Mika: Nga! Tsumu-chan-senpai, howdy ♪ Ya done caught me doin’ something all embarrassing.
You can get some good sun right around here, an’ it’s all quiet so I can relax. Rather, Tsumu-chan-senpai, you doin’ somethin’ out here?
Tsumugi: It’s a relaxing, sunny spot; I like that I can just sit back and unwind.
It’d be a good idea to bring something to read, like you’re doing. Maybe something like a poetry collection. Mika-kun, what are you reading?
…Talk Show Hosting for Dummies?
Mika: Jeez, don’t go peekin’ without permission~!
Tsumugi: You’re reading an unusual book again? So we even have books like that in the book room~. They really have all sorts of entertainment there, don’t they?
Mika: That’s right. There’s lotsa things that don’t really catch my eye, but I finally found this one~
Tsumugi: If you are interested in that kind of book, why don’t we put in a request to bring more books along this line to the book room?
Mika: Eh, for real? That’d be a big help ♪ Tsumu-chan-senpai, you’re takin’ care of that kinda stuff too?
Tsumugi: It’s part of my circle’s activities. We want the book room to be a cozy place. That’s why I want to answer Mika-kun’s needs too.
But why are you reading a book like this?
Mika: Ah, uhm well. I’m doin’ a buncha recordings, yanno? And when I’m there, all those bigwigs ask me to “bring up somethin’ interesting to talk about during the talk corner~”
But even if they put their hopes in me, I can’t really talk about anything fun. Really, they’d be better off askin’ for pigs to fly.
Tsumugi: Hmm… It might be because of the way you speak~[1]. They might be asking too much from you.
Mika: Well. It don’t really matter anyway—Not bein’ able to do it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. ‘Sides, Oshi-san ain’t too good at talking neither.
I’d like if I could at least take a li’l bit of that burden offa Oshi-san. That’s why I thought I could at least learn the ropes from this here book.
Tsumugi: Is that so? It’s not like Shu-kun is especially bad at talking, though?
Mika: Not usually, but turn a camera on him an’ he gets all quiet. And that’s why I aaalways end up wearin’ myself down.
How d’you do talk shows an’ stuff, Tsumu-chan-senpai?
Tsumugi: Me? Hmm, it’s hard to answer if you just ask me that out of nowhere. “Just talk normally~” is all I can really say...
But, let’s see… Even if they’re asking for entertaining stories, I don’t think it has to be something so funny you die laughing
Mika: Ya think so?
Tsumugi: As long as it keeps the conversation going, you’re fine. And if you do that, you can leave the wise-cracking to everyone else.
Mika-kun, would you like to try it out with me to practise? Ask me whatever you want.
Mika: Eh? Fine by me, but this is so sudden so I dunno… Eeeh. Ah, I think I got just the right thing.
If you could be anything Tsumu-chan-senpai, what would you wanna be? Like for example, I wanna be someone who can tell funny stories and make lotsa jokes.
Tsumugi: Well let’s see~. I’d like to be a bird.
Mika: Eh, that’s a different answer than I expected~. I thought you’d be the kind of person to say something more grand, like the president or a great sage.
Tsumugi: I doubt I could ever become a sage. But in any case, you said I could be anything, so I replied what I would like to be.
Mika: No, I mean, ‘s fine if ya wanna be a bird I guess…. But like, why?
Tsumugi: I mean, aren’t they just the cutest thing? When they waddle around with their tiny legs, they look so adorable. They are also very popular in zoos.
Mika: Of all birds, you went and picked the least bird-like one?! Ain’tcha talking ‘bout penguins?
Tsumugi: Uwaah, how did you know~? ♪
Mika: I was right? But why a penguin? There’s a whole buncha different birds you coulda picked. Cool ones like hawks, or super cute ones like parakeets.
Tsumugi: But don’t you think their wings are a nuisance?
Mika: If you think so why’d you wanna be a bird…? That’s like their whole thing.
Tsumugi: Well, think about it. If you sleep lying down, you’ll definitely wake up with the joints in your wings feeling sore.
On the other hand, penguins can lie down without any problems.
Mika: If you’re a bird, why would ya care about lying down? Just find a position and stay like that.
Tsumugi: But what if I sleep on my right side? My joints would get sore, so then I’d want to sleep on the other side.
Then I’d wake up in the morning, both sides would hurt and I wouldn’t be able to fly, so I’d just have to toddle around.
The first bird who slept on something funny. That must be the ancestor of the penguin.
Mika: Ya can’t fool me with a lie like that! Tsumu-chan-senpai, ain’t that enough messin’ around!
…………
Tsumu-chan-senpai, I kinda have the feeling I was able to keep up an entertaining conversation…?
Tsumugi: Because you did. Somehow, it has that kind of feeling. See, if you let loose and don’t worry too much, you can hold an entertaining conversation anytime, I’m sure of it...♪
[1] Here, Tsumugi means that since Mika speaks using Kansai-ben, many people might expect for him to be outspoken and humorous, having an easy time to come up with funny topics due to the fact that a many manzai comedy duos tend to speak in kansai dialect.
The Kansai dialect = funny person stereotype is so strong that some comedians even invoke this to themselves, speaking in kansai dialect even if they aren't from the kansai region.
In enstars, Hokuto himself has invoked this using it during his manzai routines. For a real life example, the Vtuber Yukoku Roberu also invokes it on himself.