I liked the soul mate story I wondered how Takami would react if kawarama knew that he was his soul mate (in an alternate universe of soul mates where soul mates are romantic) and this kawarama didn't care and looked for a partner elsewhere.
(Handing over to Para to reply to this one, since we're pretty sure this is about the scene here)
Thank you! I have so many emotions about dt3 so I'm really glad people are enjoying them!
(I do feel obligated to clarify that in the scene there, soulmates are sort of like being drift compatible; they aren't always romantic, but they can be, and TakaKawa will be... eventually. A really, really distant eventually.)
In an AU where soulmates were always and only romantic... Taka is still going to lie, first. He's still the Uchiha clan heir and Kawa is still an enemy, and Takami cares deeply for the Uchiha clan. He won't let this get in the way of the war effort and endanger any Uchiha. So he pretends he doesn't have a soulmate.
(Cut for length)
Then Hako and Madara genuinely don't have a soulmate, because they're both aro. Izuna lies for basically the same reasons as Takami. Kunimi might also not have one, or (having had his soulmate ceremony in private because no one wants him activating his sharingan in the compound) might actually tell his father about Itama, and then Tajima decides to lie and pretend Kunimi's soulmate is dead/doesn't exist for, again, roughly the same reasons as Takami and Izuna decided to lie about theirs.
So basically everyone things the Uchiha main family is cursed at this point.
Over on the Senju side, I haven't decided exactly how they identify soulmates, but we'll assume their method is roughly similar to the Uchiha method in both timing and reliability, so Kawarama can't just denial his way out of dealing with the situation.
Which he would want to, because Kawarama is extremely upset at this development. He really, sincerely loathes the Uchiha, so an Uchiha soulmate feels like betrayal. He's furious, he's hurt, he doesn't understand how this could have happened at all and especially not why it had to happen to him.
(He probably does know that Itama has an Uchiha soulmate, but he doesn't know how to cope with that either, so he ignores it.)
Which feeds very nicely into Kawarama declaring that he doesn't care, he doesn't want and he won't have a relationship with an Uchiha, so there! It's already his goal to kill every Uchiha, having a dead soulmate is basically the same as not having one, way better than an Uchiha soulmate!
...aaaand then a year later peace happens. So now Kawarama can't kill Uchiha anymore.
Probably this becomes A Fight during negotiations. Taka is secretly an incredible romantic and also pretty lonely, and he's also a shameless asshole. So he'd try to get some sort of 'Kawarama comes to live with the Uchiha' clause included in the peace agreement. Now that a relationship is possible, he wants to at least figure out what it would be, what's special about Kawarama, etc.
Kawarama would, uh, not take that well. Taka gets insulted to his face. Taka insults right Kawarama back (and so does Hako). Hopefully someone interrupts the argument before it turns into a fight. (Kawarama's turned on and he's Mad about it.)
Possibly they end up with a deal where they trade Izuna and Itama, so Izuna gets sent to live with the Senju and Itama goes to live with the Uchiha, thus giving both TobiIzu and ItaKuni a head start.
TakaKawa's relationship continues to get worse. Taka refuses to take rejection lying down, but everything he does about it will be highhanded at a minimum, and Kawa would have been mad about even reasonable attempts to date him. Instead Kawa is trying to date and Taka is threatening all his dates away and/or setting their houses on fire.
Honestly they're probably kind of a problem, like, politically. This is all going to be very public; the head of one clan and the other clan head's brother extremely publicly hating each other is not... good, for convincing anyone that their alliance will last. Because even Taka doesn't like Kawa; he's just angry and possessive.
(They probably have "sparred" aka used training as an excuse to beat each other up and gotten horny about it. Probably frequently. But that's just another thing to resent each other for.)
So I think eventually Hashirama sends Kawa away, because Taka sure can't leave and these two need to be separated. It's not an exile situation or anything, it's more of a multi-year-long mission, maybe an assignment to the daimyo's guards in the capital, something like that.
But it gives Kawa time to cool off. He probably does have relationships, because feeling forced into the relationship with Taka was one of the things making him hate it, and actually getting to have other relationships without Taka being relevant will go a long way to let him work through that. Maybe after a year or two an Uchiha (not Taka, and probably not any of the main family; maybe Hikaku, or some other OC Uchiha) gets sent to join him.
So by the time Kawa goes back to Konoha he's at least tolerant of the existence of Uchiha, even if kind of reluctantly. He still doesn't want a relationship with Taka but he does remember Taka being offensively sexy, so he's probably cautiously open to sleeping together as long as Taka isn't too pushy for more.
Meanwhile Taka is... well, as close as he gets to icy. Which is not very close, to be honest. But he tried to pull a "you can't quit, I fire you!" and it turned out that Kawa very much could quit. Kawa walked away and Taka did everything he could and still wasn't able to stop him.
This might be the first time Taka has actually been unable to make something happen that he wanted? He's definitely run into things that weren't worth it, but he's the uncontested warlord-dictator of one of the most powerful clans on the continent, and he has multiple absurdly overpowered brothers, plus Hako who's codependently loyal to him and a master of politics. Taka usually gets his way, and when he doesn't it's because he weighed the costs against the benefits and backed down on his own. He's not familiar with losing, and he really doesn't like it.
So Taka probably spends a while giving Kawa the cold shoulder, because fine, if Kawa is going to be that way, he didn't want Kawa either!
But Taka is ultimately the biggest romantic here, so eventually he's going to decide that if his options are a tiny bit of Kawa or no Kawa, he will (tragically) take the little bit he's allowed. So they start a very slow, very rocky relationship (which is mostly just sex at first, but will grow from there).
And since he's learned the very firm lesson that if he gets too pushy he will lose Kawa entirely, Taka will... well, still be pushy sometimes because it's not in Taka's nature not to be, but it will be limited to things like "I already got you the gift now TAKE IT" and not, say, "you live in my house now." So Kawa has the space to feel like he's not trapped in the relationship, and that lets him feel safe enough for it to actually develop into a full relationship over time.
A LONG time. This is definitely a much longer and rockier road than they take even in ELAU and that took most of a decade. But they get there eventually.
Kawa might continue to have another partner (other than Hako, who is a package deal with Taka so doesn't count), especially earlier in the relationship. Most likely he'd eventually end up choosing just Taka (and Hako) though; once he actually likes Taka not many people can compare.
Uchiha Takami has just found out that Kawarama (whom he has ignored entirely for at least two months, due to a family crisis which he did not deign to inform Kawarama of) has been telling everyone that they broke up, and is now having one night stands with other people. Does he:
A) Tragically accept losing the love of his life and go deliver a gift to remind Kawarama of him,
>B) Set all Kawarama’s one night stands’ houses on fire before informing Kawarama that there definitely was no breakup (breaking up is illegal) so let’s fuck,
C) Act like he has some idea what the word “reasonable” means
Does Itama have friends bc he also gives off no friends vibes he doesn’t talk about his feelings but I could be wrong
He does! Itama has a lot of friends, actually, probably second most after Hashirama among the senju bros. A handy chart:
(more under the cut)
But if you asked Itama's friends what they know about them, most of them would suddenly realize that they know like, his name/appearance/etc basics, and... a favorite food, maybe...? Or at least he eats it a lot so it could be his favorite? Very little.
Itama is very good at getting people to share a lot with him while sharing basically nothing meaningful in return. It's usually not deliberate (though he is aware of it); he's just very interested in people (so he asks about them and is a good listener, so people tend to share a lot) while also being very private (doesn't share much of any significance about himself). So he knows a lot more about his friends than they know about him.
It's okay though! Just because he could take almost anyone he knows apart with a sentence doesn't mean he will. He's much more likely to subtly nudge people toward better life choices and mental health than anything.
(Which is, again, usually not conscious manipulation: Itama Gets people very intuitively, and he knows what they need to hear to react a given way without really thinking about it. It's obvious to him, and he doesn't really understand why not everyone else sees it. Similarly to how Tobirama will just Understand advanced math or how to make a seal that does whatever he wants, and it's easy and obvious for him, and he doesn't really understand how these things could not make sense to other people.)
As far as close friends that Itama is very open with, that's mostly his brothers and eventually Kunimi.
Immensely tickled by the idea of hako finding out about the dissection through kawa and Izuna kinkshaming argument in Jonin lounge.
Okay so that goes something like this:
Some random other jonin brings up kinky sex, then fantasies
Kawarama assumes he'll be like, middle-tier kinky, because he knows that he is Absolutely Never telling his brothers about some of the stuff he does with Taka and Hako, but Taka and Hako spent so much time early on making fun of him for being inexperienced and boring he feels like everything they do must be bland and vanilla
Until other jonin start getting competitive about who has the kinkiest fantasy and Kawarama is just sitting there going no way. No way are those anyone's kinkiest fantasy.
"Oh yeah, what's yours then?"
Kawarama's involves having his hand broken, being fucked with a sword, and like six other things. And it's a threesome that goes without saying.
Kawarama sees no issue with saying this where Uchiha can hear because he just kind of assumes that if Taka and Meguru were chill with both fucking him together, then the clan as a whole probably isn't bothered by this sort of thing.
Kawarama is wrong. Izuna would dearly love to have never heard that
Kawarama thinks Izuna glaring at him is unfair, bc three minutes earlier Izuna said he wants Tobirama to fall asleep on top of him after one of them is dissected on Tobirama's autopsy/dissection table.
Izuna: That's not even kinky at all, ESPECIALLY compared to mr "i want my hand broken then my ass reamed by a SWORD"
Kawarama: How is the autopsy table not kinky! It's for corpses!
Izuna: Have you never heard of clones!
Kawarama: Clones can't be dissected, they don't last that long!
Izuna: Oh yeah they do, we fixed that. You can take your time and you get to see the organs working as if they're alive, without being damaged by death or anything! And you get the memories. It's fascinating.
It is now Kawarama's turn to wish he had never heard that, because he knows Tobirama well enough to know exactly what they must have done
Then they bicker more until Izuna gets mad and demands a spar so that he can try to punch Kawarama in the face, and if Kawarama dares get turned on by it Izuna is going to repeat this entire conversation word for word to Tobirama.
Except now that Izuna brought it up of course Kawarama isn't going to be able to resist Thinking Thoughts (he has uh. "Sparred" with Taka before. And recently), so Tobirama hears everything. But Izuna gets autopsy table cuddles so who really won here.
Then Kawarama and Tobirama have their own kinkshaming argument. How many times have you dissected yourself, Tobirama. How many times. Tobirama thinks that’s irrelevant because A: it’s for science, not sex, B: it’s a clone actually being dissected so he gets the memories of pain but he isn’t actually injured, and C: it’s with Izuna, who is nice and trustworthy, unlike Taka and Hako.
The dissection information takes a bit longer to get back to the rest of the Uchiha and probably Meguru or Taka has to ask Izuna about what exactly he meant by it, and then it's probably a whole Thing because of bloodline concerns. Like it would be worse if Tobirama had been dissecting Uchiha without Izuna present helping/supervising, and they probably stayed away from Izuna's eyes (even though Tobirama REALLY WANTS TO) + had Izuna keep all the notes on dissecting himself specifically to avoid bloodline drama, but... they really should have had permission from Taka for this sort of thing. So Meguru can just ban them from dissecting Izuna for a while if not permanently.
Taka is satisfied with the precautions Izuna has taken re bloodline theft but 98% of the time Meguru can just act in his name and he will ratify it so he sides with Meguru and says it's not okay. Izuna isnt really bringing home any benefits for the risk at this point so theres no reason to overturn Hako.
@sugah--bee: taka and hako personality swap? jutsu went wrong or something and they got switched
Taka and Meguru actually switch with each other on a regular basis, just using henge. They did it at first when one of them really doesn’t want to go to a meeting/party/etc, and now they do it fairly often to attempt to fool Kawarama (Kawarama is never fooled for more than like two minutes), or when Taka wants to do something that he thinks is too sentimental for himself (so like... cuddling Kawarama, mostly).
(cut bc length)
They’re pretty good at mimicking each other, so long as they aren’t trying to fool anyone who knows them really well and avoid certain situations (Kawarama can always tell them apart because Taka isn’t as mean or patient as Meguru and Meguru isn’t as Hungry as Taka).
This looks like an actual body switch though, which would maybe have looked like some form of poetic justice for about five seconds, except neither of them is bothering to pretend to be the other this time. So people keep approaching “Meguru” and getting Taka in full asshole mode, or bracing themselves for a conversation with “Taka” and getting Meguru being as gentle and diplomatic as he possibly can instead.
Everyone is reeling. The people who thought they were going to talk to Meguru are still trying to understand what happened while also being devastated at the concept of “Meguru” calling them lazy idiots and threatening to start cutting their feet off if they don’t get back to work. The people who tried to talk to Taka are lowkey panicking waiting for the other shoe to drop. The entire Uchiha clan is in chaos and so is a decent chunk of the rest of the village.
Wait why does Madara want tobirama again? Also like it’s so funny and sad that Izuna like “oh wow my eldest brother doesn’t care about me as a person” and the answer is like “well …yeah”
Taka decided he wasn't going to care about Izuna or Kunimi after they got kidnapped as small children and he was upset by not being able to do anything about it.
Sort of spoilers for Blessed Sacrifice under the cut. Like it's also sort of the premise and we've referenced it before, but just in case anyone wants to avoid it
In Blessed Sacrifice the Uchiha believe that the sharingan exists bc the gods essentially take that power out of the eyes of people with red eyes, and give it to the Uchiha/the sharingan. So as a consequence, the Uchiha are divinely obligated to protect anyone with red eyes, since they've essentially been sacrificed by the gods on the Uchihas' behalf. Thus the term Blessed Sacrifice.
Whiiiiich isn't really compatible with going to war against Tobirama. So they have a special role involving ritually disowning someone from the main family, who then is "not an Uchiha", and is allowed to fight against him to protect the clan. So Izuna is only allowed back into the Uchiha clan if/when Tobirama is brought into the Uchiha clan, because until they need a non-Uchiha to protect the Uchiha from Tobirama.
So Madara wants Tobirama in the Uchiha clan so that he can bring Izuna back in. The Senju don't know any of this other than (1) people with red eyes who come to the attention of the Uchiha often get kidnapped/disappeared and (2) the Uchiha have been going around calling everyone with red eyes a "Sacrifice" for generations....
