Jul 18
mild religious shenanigans tw? i guess?
i really thought i was Losing It (it = #myspark) for a moment there but. um no. listening to the newton brothers' nearer my god to thee and wanting to claw my heart out. we are so fucking back.
#THIS IS SO#ugh#ughjddhkdebod#type of conditioning that might never be fully undone#snuck into a church bc i forgot my headphones and everything was too loud today#doesn’t scare me breathless anymore#i still know ¾ of the liturgy after years#and idk. im okay with this. ill forget at some point maybe. it doesn’t haunt me Painfully anymore.#it's like wearing old pants three sizes too big. Not Mine anymore. won't need them#but it's nice to press that wound sometimes. like man. i've lived that insanity and came out of it. CRAZY#makes me love myself a bit i guess