❝Rolan, isn’t it? Why not put that heavy heart aside for one night? We’ve all earned a bit of peace.❞ ( from @umbralitany ; maybe at Last Light Inn, after they rescued Cal & Lia? )
He hadn't had to cajole his siblings for long, it turned out. Lia had stayed awake a little longer than Cal - softly snoring almost as soon as head met pillow - but she'd dozed off soon enough. Despite their ages, Rolan couldn't help but faintly whisper a 'goodnight' to them before shutting the door, just like when they were children.
Relief and lingering guilt had left him sleepless, by contrast. Rolan had descended from the inn rooms upstairs; though he sat at one of the tables near the unmanned bar, with a tankard in front of him, he didn't yet take even a sip.
Gods, it should have been him. He didn't regret, exactly, defending the children during that damned ambush... but maybe he should've done both. Or he should damn well at least have tried! He should've noticed sooner that his siblings were in trouble, should've made them stay at his side, should've gone out right away to save them rather than drowning his bloody sorrows, should've insisted on entering Moonrise Towers as well, should've...
Something.
Anything.
All this potential he had, which Master Lorroakan saw in him, and what had he done with it?
Perhaps he was thinking too loud.
Rolan looked up, unable to hide the brief surprise from his face nor a curl of his tail. He didn't know much about the cleric - named Shadowheart, if he recalled - but knew the man was part of the party who'd brought his family back.
"I am at peace," he insisted mulishly, but didn't have the strength left for much more. A beat, then a chest-deep sigh. "As much as I can be, anyway. Cal and Lia are back, they're alive and well, and..." A quiet scoff hissed through his teeth, as Rolan glanced aside. "And I had nothing to do with it. Again."
Another sidelong look to Shadowheart with a tilt of his head. Rolan's expression wasn't sour anymore, but his roiling thoughts kept it from lightening. He didn't want to be left alone, not quite, but he was abruptly aware how no one else had approached him.
"...If I'm spoiling your peace, I can find somewhere else," he offered.