kinning Dennis Reynolds is so emotionally exhausting what if all of the little details I latched onto weren’t like. hinting at his character or details meant to inspire confidence in the kind of person he has the potential to be what if it’s just shitty writing. please don’t do my boy dirty rcg idec if him and mac are endgame I just want them to write him to be happy and healthy and still eccentric and stupid but maybe in a way where he can be okay and make peace with his librarian trauma and acknowledge his sexuality maybe but that’s probably asking a lot from them 😐
okay. okay. okay so. okay.
this is the thing abt getting attached to characters that are out of ur control. u have to have a separation between what they mean to u and what they are in text. it’s gonna line up a lot, and ur gonna make it line up when it doesn’t sometimes but that’s okay. bc this is all for u. not for anybody else. u don’t have to justify it to anybody not even urself. it’s fucking scary thinking abt the possibility of them undoing smthn you latched onto thru writing them “wrong”. wrong is in quotes bc technically there is no wrong way to write a character that u created, u being the show runners and writers, not us. and that’s an invalidating thought unless you have that separation.
it’s hard. sometimes i feel like i won’t be able to accept myself unless dennis does. maybe you feel that way about your trauma. it makes us feel small and not in control of our mental health. and stupid, god, so stupid, that our mental health is in the hands of this peepeepoopoo show. and we feel shameful for it.
we gotta separate it. it’s hard. it’s why i don’t rly watch the show anymore. what i’m getting from it has less and less to do with the actual show every day. and that’s liberating. i’m in the process of finding that meaning within myself instead of in a show. but yeah it’s hard.
