#uncannyxmen254

[gaknar]

Mystique’s relationship with Destiny is by far the most wholesome thing in this comic about a bunch of terrorists murdering people and shooting up orphanages. They’ve been together so long, Destiny has gotten all old and cragly, but they are still in love! So cute. Don’t ask me what all that crystal time shit was about. I have no idea. (Uncanny X-Men #254 – Dec 1989)

[gaknar]

Noice! It’s been a while since we’ve seen any deep throated, open mouth kissing on this blog. Finally! And yep, even Banshee notices that Moira is all sexed up in this issue like she turned into the god damned Goblin Queen or something. And once again the Morlock healer is used to conveniently save someone from a mortal wound, which is highly dubious since Banshee pretty much got 2/3rds of his chest blown out the front side of his body earlier in this issue and somehow managed to survive long enough to get put on Moira’s operating table. This was a pretty great issue with a super intense battle that didn’t even include any appearances of any actual X-Men. (Uncanny X-Men #254 – Dec 1989)

[gaknar]

With all of the X-Men and their spinoff teams either killed off or lost in space and / or time, they were really scraping the bottom of the barrel with this newest rendition of the New Mutants, weren’t they? They aren’t even new. They’re all boomers. Sunder? And Moira MacTaggert? She’s not even a mutant. Seriously, was Claremont trolling us with this cover back in the day? “A New Legend is Born”?? He just got done ruining our favorite team of super heroes, and he expects us to believe this group of X-Men rejects is going to be the next big thing?? He’s gotta be taking a piss on us with this. (Uncanny X-Men #254 – Dec 1989)

[gaknar]

Again with the "All New, All Different," as if this was going to be our new team of X-Men for the next 150 issues. Such bullshit! And hoooooly shit look at Moira here.

Is this how people dressed to do science in the 1980s? Or is there something mysterious going on with Moira’s character here that isn’t explained. No longer the belligerent housekeeper that showed up at Xavier’s mansion all those years ago, she now looks more like one of Claremont’s dominatrixes or Hellfire queens. Did she get possessed by Malice or something? There’s also a sort of chaotic energy that infects some of the characters in this issue, either scrambling their powers or directly affecting their personality like Moira, and it goes completely unexplained for now. (Uncanny X-Men #254 – Dec 1989)

[gaknar]

Oh get out of here with that blushing, Sharon Friedlander. It’s not like you’ve never worn a bondage outfit before! There was that time you and Tom Corsi there almost fucked each other to death out in the forest. Yes that was an actual thing that happened in an X-Men comic book. Sure, they were being manipulated by Empath at the time, but bondage outfits don’t just magically appear out of thin air! I mean, ok sure, in these panels here they magically appear out of thin air because Amanda Sefton screws up her clothes conjuring spell, but that’s not what happened that other time! She and Tom had those outfits in the backs of their closets just waiting to be used. How is this a thing I’m talking about in relation to a comic book. (Uncanny X-Men #254 – Dec 1989)

[gaknar]

Ooof well Banshee should be very dead from this, getting his chest blown out by a long range high caliber rifle. These Reavers don’t fuck around! Last issue they set their sights on the remaining X-Men allies hiding out at Moira MacTaggert’s Scotland facility, and in this issue we see their assault take place, and it’s an intense one.

The Reavers are quickly establishing themselves as some of the X-Men’s most vicious enemies, and this is in comparison to groups of super villains that perform Mutant Massacres and demon Infernos. It's like, the more the X-Men up the ante of their murderous ways, their adversaries meet them in kind. (Uncanny X-Men #254 – Dec 1989)

[gaknar]

For the most part, the Reaver’s attack on Moira MacTaggert’s Scotland base in this comic ends in stalemate, except for the fact that the Reavers manage to capture Amanda Sefton and Brigadier Alysande Stuart, which has some terrifying implications associated with it, considering how violent and abusive the Reavers are. Oh and Sunder got killed I guess. It’s probably not so much a stalemate from his point of view. But seriously who cares about Sunder. (Uncanny X-Men #254 – Dec 1989)

[gaknar]

Mystique is still acting all high and mighty toward Forge about his involvement in getting the X-Men killed during Fall of the Mutants. As if you’re some kind of angel, Mystique!! You’re about the most conniving, back stabbing, evil mutant on the planet. Regardless, Forge and Valerie Cooper convince her to go to Scotland and help the remaining X-Men allies defend themselves against the Reavers who are pretty much trying to murder everyone within a 50 mile radius.  Does this mean we’re going to get a fight between Freedom Force and the Reavers in the next issue? That would actually be pretty great watching two groups of complete assholes trying to kill each other. (Uncanny X-Men #254 – Dec 1989)