The Little Princess: Chapter 10
A/n- So this wasn’t supposed to be this long, which is why it took me so damn long to write it. Plus every time I sat down to write someone needed something from me. But here it is! I’m sorry it took so long! I am going to be moving to posting every 2-3 days instead of every day. I’m getting burnt out trying to pump out this story and balance mommy duties at the same time. As always, feedback is welcome! And if anyone would like to be tagged, just let me know! You can send me a pm or shoot me an ask. Either one will work. :)
This is unbeta’d so any and all mistakes are mine. If anyone would be interested in being beta on future chapters, I would be forever grateful!
Word count: 5,036 (whoops)
Warnings: Major angst in the beginning, there may be a few cuss words in there somewhere, the rest is all fluff. Also, Dean changes a diaper. Boobs are bared in this chapter! (maybe there will be smut in the future?)
Chapter summary: Dealing with the aftermath of the battle with the demons.
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Reader, OFC Mary Winchester, OMC James Newman, OFC Tori Newman
Need to catch up? HERE is the masterlist!
You lay there holding your best friend’s body, sobbing uncontrollably. It hurt so bad.
Dean looked up at Cas. “Can you take Mary home please? Give her a bottle and a new diaper. Sam and I will handle things here…” he trailed off as he passed Mary off to the angel.
“Of course. It would be my pleasure to take care of her.” He glanced down at you, but you didn’t notice. You were consumed by grief at the moment.
Sam moved to take care of the other bodies and Dean knelt down beside you, take you in his arms. You let him hold you, give you the comfort you needed. You were trying to stop the sobs ripping through you but your body had other plans. You felt broken. Tori wasn’t supposed to die. She was supposed to live out her life as a normal person. She was supposed to have children and grandchildren and grow old with James. She was supposed to take care of Mary if anything ever happened to you…
You could feel your breathing becoming more and more ragged as you tried unsuccessfully to take a deep breath. Your vision started swimming and Dean gripped you tighter, knowing that what was coming was inevitable. Everything faded to black as you fainted in Dean’s arms.
When you came to, Dean was still holding you tight to his chest. He was petting your hair and crying. Tori’s body was gone though. You assumed Sam had moved it with the others to burn.
“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m so so sorry. I wish I could take all your pain away. I love you so much. I’m so fuckin sorry I couldn’t save her. I thought the other one would just smoke out once he saw the Colt…I didn’t think he would do that. I didn’t think he was capable. I love you…I love you so god damn much…” his voice was just a whisper at the end, and your heart broke for the man you loved.
You turned in his arms just enough that you could look into his red-rimmed eyes. You ran your fingers through the longer hair on top of his head before moving it to rest on his cheek. He leaned into your touch, needing the comfort just as much as you.
“It’s not your fault baby. You didn’t know. You couldn’t have predicted that; none of us could. You may not be able to take my pain away entirely, but you being here for me is more than enough for me to push through it all. You and our little girl are enough. I wish I could change the outcome, but we both know this is all part of the fight. You win some, you lose some, and you lose some people along the way. It sucks, but this is the life. I’m just…I’m in shock right now. This was all so unexpected. Remember the first time we lost someone? It’s just like that all over again. I haven’t done this in so long, I lost that hard shell I had. I’ll be okay though, because I have you and Mary. Sam and Cas are both safe as well, and at the end of the day, this isn’t the worst thing that could happen. I love you so much, Dean Winchester. Please don’t take this pain on all alone. You’ll never be alone in this again.”
He rested his forehead against yours as a few more silent tears slipped down his face. You heard the heavy footfall of Sam’s boots against the floor, but neither of you moved. After a few moments, you heard him clear his throat. Knowing Dean didn’t like for Sam to see him cry, you took both his cheeks in your hands and brushed the tear paths away under the pretense of a kiss. You then turned to look at Sam, as did Dean.
“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I know how much she meant to you. I figured you would want to give her and James a hunter’s funeral, so I got it all set up. But if it’s too much for you, I don’t mind handling it by myself…I can just call Cas to come get me when I’m done here…” he trailed off, looking at the ground like a kicked puppy. You realized then that he was hurting too. Of course he is. He’s got the biggest heart and hates it when we can’t save people. He always has. You stood up from the floor with a helpful push from Dean’s arms and made your way over to the gentle giant. You wrapped your arms around him as tightly as you could and pressed your head to his chest, and he wrapped his massive arms around you in return.
“Thank you so much Sam. I won’t leave you to deal with all this by yourself though. We’re family, Sammy, and I won’t let you take this burden on alone either. I love you.”
You could feel the moment his resolve broke. His sobs were silent but violent, shaking his whole body as the tears fell on your head. You heard Dean come up behind you and he placed a hand on both your shoulders. When Sam stopped crying, you took both the boys in each of your hands and let Sam lead the way to the small pyres he built. The bodies of the other demons had already been lit. Dean wrapped his arm around your waist when you let out a small gasp. Sam lit James’ pyre, and moved to light Tori’s when you stopped him.
“Wait, Sam…I-I should…I should do it. It should be me,” you sighed.
He just nodded in understanding as he handed you the makeshift torch. You moved in front of her pyre and whispered, “I love you, sweet girl. I will miss you every day for the rest of forever. If you’re still standing here, please move on. Don’t stay here. Be peaceful now, love.”
You pressed a kiss to her cloth covered forehead and stepped back as you touched the torch to the base. You stumbled backwards as the flames licked up around her body. Dean was immediately at your side, supporting your weight as your knees gave out once more. When the flames had completely consumed both James and Tori, you turned your face into Dean’s chest and whispered once more, “take me home please Dean. Take us home.”
He picked you up and carried you to the Impala, tossing the keys to Sam. He kept you in his lap as he slid into the backseat. He held you the entire way home, softly whispering sweet things in your ear the whole way.
When you pulled up, you were concerned to see the house completely dark. You and Dean shared a look before cautiously running into the house.
The three of you silently cleared the whole home, finding nothing and no one. Your concern was turning to panic when you realized Cas and your daughter were both missing.
“Cas!” you yelled for the angel. You heard the flutter of wings and the three of you breathed out sighs of relief.
“I am here. Please do not worry. I took Mary back to the bunker for the time being. I did not want any harm to come to her being here. They knew where she was…so I thought she would be safer at the bunker where they could not find her. I am sorry I caused you to be afraid. It was not my intention…” he spoke softly, for he was holding your child. She looked so peaceful, asleep in his arms like that.
“Thank you Cas for thinking that way. Yes, we were scared, but you kept her safe. That’s all that matters.”
You looked around at your home, realizing that there wasn’t much you wanted to take with you. You didn’t need any of the furniture except for what was in the nursery. All your clothes and pictures would fit in just a few boxes. You didn’t need any of the dishes; the bunker already had all that.
“Dean?” you called him to get his attention. When he looked at you, you continued, “aside from the stuff in the nursery, what would you like to take? I’m not partial to anything here really. I’m only asking because I don’t want to spend any more time here than I have to, and I don’t want to pack up the whole house if we’re never gonna need half of it.”
“I don’t think we need to take much princess. I know you want to take everything in the nursery and all of your personal stuff, but we don’t really need anything else. The bunker pretty much came with everything else. Although I wouldn’t complain about having new pots and pans. Somebody,” he shot a pointed glare in Sam’s direction, “tried to cook and ruined most of ours…”
Sam rolled his eyes and sighed, “it’s not my fault you left me alone for 3 days! You know I can’t cook! Jerk.”
You couldn’t help the laugh that exploded from you. Part of it was the overwhelming amount of emotions you were feeling at the moment, but god damn you missed this. The back and forth banter of the brothers and the hilarious prank wars they would have; you missed this so much. You couldn’t control your laughter at this point; there were too many memories flooding back to you.
Sam had a slightly shocked and concerned look on his face. “Y/N…are you okay? What’s so funny?”
You took a second to take a few deep breaths and wipe the tears from the corners of your eyes. When you finally had yourself under control, you replied, “I’m good Sammy. I’ve just missed this so much. And the longer the three of us are together, the more I remember about our lives together. And it’s hilarious.”
Sam and Dean laughed, and it was like music to your ears. This is how things were meant to be. Just then, Cas appeared hold Mary who was crying for you.
“Oh sweetheart.” You rushed to her, taking her from Cas’ arms. “What happened?” you asked him.
“She woke up in my arms, and immediately started crying for ‘Mama.’ I thought it would be best to bring her to you before she got any more upset.”
You looked at Mary and playfully clicked your tongue at her. “You silly girl. That’s Uncle Cas! He’s been watching over you and keeping you safe since the day you were born. He loves you. There’s no need to be afraid of him.”
Dean looked at Cas, “Hey man, do you think you could zap some stuff into boxes for us? That would make things go a lot quicker than me and Sammy trying to box everything up by hand.”
“Of course, Dean. Just show me what you would like boxed up.”
You spoke before anyone could move, “I hate to ask this of you guys, but Sam, do you mind showing Cas up to the nursery? Everything in there is coming with us. And just the personal stuff and clothes from the master suite are going. Nothing else. I just want to steal Dean for a few minutes of Daddy-daughter time if that’s okay…” Dean was beaming at you and Mary.
Sam gave you one of his soft, understanding smiles. “No problem Y/N. Cas, follow me. It’s right upstairs.”
As Sam and Cas left, you handed Mary to her father, watching as he held her so gingerly; she squirmed and squealed in his arms when his fingers caught just the right spot on her ribs. She was extremely ticklish. You moved to the kitchen to get some food ready for her when you realized it was breakfast time for her. Dean followed you in shortly after and watched you as you made her a breakfast of oatmeal, mangos, and applesauce. You turned around just in time to see the look of disgust on Dean’s face.
“Does she really eat that?”
You nodded at his question.
You laughed. “Yeah, it’s her favorite actually. You wanna feed her?” Dean nodded excitedly. “Okay. Put her in her highchair, and you have to always strap her in; she likes to try to climb.”
You turned around to bring Dean Mary’s food, and the sight in front of you made your heart skip a few beats. Dean had Mary all strapped in and was playing peek-a-boo with her over the tray of the highchair, much to her delight. She was screeching with uncontrollable laughter as her daddy would sneak his head up over the side of the tray and grab her toes, all with the biggest grin on his face. He fell into the role so easily, it made you hate yourself even more for keeping her from him for so long. You put a smile on as Dean turned to look at you, but it didn’t quite reach your eyes like it should have.
Dean’s smile quickly turned to a frown. “What’s wrong princess?”
You took a deep breath and sighed, “I just feel awful. Seeing you with her like this…it’s all I’ve ever wanted Dean. But I kept her from you. I kept her hidden and lied to you. That night we were on the phone, my water broke. I was in labor about to have your child, and I lied to you and told you I never loved you. You’ve only been with her for a few hours, but you’re already such a natural at this whole parenting thing, I just feel like a piece of shit for not giving you the chance in the first place. I should ha-”
“Y/N stop. You did what you thought was best. You were trying to protect our daughter, and I will never fault you for that. We all make mistakes sometimes, you know I’ve made more than my fair share of them, but we learn and move on. Now you know that I will always keep you and our children safe, so next time this happens, you don’t have to run and hide from me. And even if you do, I’ll find you again and drag you back, again. Okay? Don’t beat yourself up over this. You have me here now, and we have our daughter. We can be the happy little hunting family we’ve always wanted. I love you and I want you to be happy; so get your butt over here so you can help me feed our baby girl.”
You couldn’t help the grin this time as his words echoed in your head. Next time. You really were happy with him. He and Mary were all that mattered. Your perfect little family. You did as you were told and crossed the room and pulled a chair over to sit beside him, but he surprised you by pulling you into his lap instead. He wrapped one arm around your waist and took the spoon in the bowl with his other hand, raising it to Mary’s lips as she banged her hands against the highchair tray, excited to finally be eating. You held the bowl with one hand while he took food from it for her, and your other hand was holding his arm around your waist.
Sam walked in with Cas just as you leaned slightly to kiss Dean.
“Ugh. Get a room guys. My niece doesn’t need to know how she was made,” Sam said teasingly.
You laughed and shot back, “oh Sammy, there was much more alcohol and much less clothing involved that one. But if you’d like an explanation…” with a wicked grin on your face.
Sam gave you his bitch face and walked into the kitchen with a chuckling Cas right on his heels. You head the clatter of pots and pans just before Cas walked back into your dining room.
“The packing is done. I have also transported the furniture back to the bunker already. It was too complicated to take apart. Sam and I could not figure it out.”
You and Dean giggled again and Mary laughed along with you, causing Sam and Cas to laugh as well.
“There is one more thing,” Cas added. “I took your bed to the bunker and replaced Dean’s. He was complaining earlier that his would not be large enough for the both of you to, ‘roll around,’ as he put it. So seeing that yours was larger, I swapped them out.”
Dean’s face got beet red and you gave him a knowing smirk. Sam let out a frustrated groan. Mary just clapped her hands with enthusiasm.
“I’m leaving,” Sam grumbled. “I’m taking your car back to the bunker Y/N. I already moved the car seat to the Impala, so you and Dean can leave whenever you’re ready.” He walked back over to the three of you and stooped down to give you and Mary each a quick kiss to the cheek. You smiled, Dean snorted, and Mary screeched and grabbed his long locks. Sam chuckled as he pried his hair away from the infant. “Love you guys. See you soon,” he said with a wave before closing the door behind him.
“Well, as soon as she’s done eating, I’ll change her diaper and then we can head out. She should sleep in the car pretty well. She loves car rides. Don’t ya baby?” you asked her as you pinched her chubby little cheek, making her squeal once more.
You and Dean finished feeding her and Cas bid you farewell, letting you know he was going to the bunker to wait for Sam so he could help him unpack. As you got Mary’s face and hands cleaned up, Dean swooped in to take her and asked you where the diapers and wipes were. You were stunned.
“Already volunteering to change diapers, Winchester?”
“That’s Mr. Winchester to you, ma’am. And yes. I figured I might as well get the hang of it now rather than make you change all the diapers by yourself. Besides, I changed ‘em on Sammy all the time. Although I get the feeling we won’t be able to leave her alone with Sam until she’s potty trained…”
You both laughed, knowing Sam’s face would be screwed up in disgust if he had to change a diaper. He went upstairs to where the changing supplies were while you stayed downstairs in the living room. You really had no urge to go back to the scene of your daughter’s abduction.
You were humming and swaying with yourself in the living room when you heard Dean yell.
“Y/N! I don’t know how to deal with this! It’s EVERYWHERE! HOW DOES A TINY LITTLE THING PRODUCE SO MUCH?!”
You couldn’t contain your laughter. You had known she was poopy; she always poops after breakfast, just like clockwork. But you wanted to let Dean have all the fun with this one…
“Y/N I need help! Please! OH GOD IT’S ON MY ARM!”
You almost couldn’t get up the stairs because you were laughing so hard. You already had tears streaming down your face just thinking of the horrified look on his face, but when you rounded the corner to the nursery and actually saw the look, you completely lost it. You literally fell over laughing at the look on his face. His eyes were as big as the moon, his mouth hung open, and his whole face was quivering. He had Mary’s legs splayed open so she didn’t get anything on the floor, but she had gotten some on her hand and smeared it all over the floor next to her.
“It’s a good thing we have hardwood!” you exclaimed. You wiped the tears from your eyes as you grabbed some wipes to clean her hand. “C’mon baby, let’s go get our girl in the shower. It’ll be easier to clean this mess in there.” You picked Mary up, holding her at arm’s length as she kicked and squeaked with excitement. Before you could get her in the bath though, she had kicked her foot into it and managed to get it all over your shirt. You groaned as Dean laughed. But the joke was on him. As soon as you put Mary down in the tub, you carefully pulled your shirt over your head and tossed it aside. You had already taken your bra off when you got home safely. You looked at Dean out of the corner of your eye and once again, his mouth was dropped open. But this time it was in awe.
“Don’t you know it’s considered rude to stare honey?” you asked him with a smirk.
“Oh princess, it would be rude not to stare at your beautiful body.”
In your haste to tease him, you had forgotten how your body had changed since he last saw it. You had stretch marks littering your waist and stomach, your breasts weren’t the perky things they used to be, and you had extra skin on your middle and back. It was all from the miracle of making a beautiful child and you wouldn’t trade it for anything. But it made you self-conscious. Especially in front of Dean. As you subconsciously moved to cover yourself, he grabbed your hands in his.
“Don’t do that sweetheart. Not with me. You have these scars and marks from creating a child. You know how amazing that is? It dumbfounds me that you would think these scars make you somehow less attractive than you already were. This makes you more beautiful princess. Those aren’t just any old battle scars. These are proof that you created a whole body for a tiny new soul. These are the most important scars you will ever have; the most amazing scars you could ever get. And I love each and every one of them.”
His words had you in tears. “I love you Dean Winchester,” you said with a smile as you grabbed his hand. “Now come over here and help me bathe our kid.”
“Yes ma’am!” he said as he gave you a rigid salute with his eyes crossed and mouth screwed funny.
Mary giggled in the tub and banged the bottom of it, impatient to have water and bubbles surrounding her. “Dadadadadada!” she repeated as Dean knelt down beside the tub to play with her you turned the water on and waited for it to get warm before you plugged the tub and added the bubble bath Mary liked so much. It was Jasmine and Rose scented. It helped her relax, and you had never really thought about it any further. You figured it was just something she liked. But as the steam started filling the bathroom with the sweet floral scents, you heard Dean take in a sharp breath.
“Why do you use that on her?” he asked. His entire body had tensed and he was clearly on edge.
“It’s just her favorite. I used to buy the lavender stuff, but grabbed this on accident in a hurried grocery run a few months ago and it turned out she liked this one better; so I started buying this instead. Why, what’s wrong with it?” You turned to look at him. You didn’t remember him being allergic to anything, but then again, you didn’t really have the best relationship before you left.
He looked at you with tears in his suddenly sad eyes and grabbed your hand, squeezing it as tightly as he dared.
“My mom always kept roses in the house. They were her favorite. And she had this perfuse that she wore for special occasions that had Jasmine in it. There’s nothing wrong with it at all princess, I was just shocked. I guess they share more than just a name, huh?” he said with a small, half-hearted chuckle.
“Oh sweetheart, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know… I-I can change back to the lavender, or find something else to use on her…” you trailed off. You didn’t really want to; you liked the way she smelled and it did help her sleep a little better at night.
Dean interrupted your train of thoughts then. “No I really don’t mind. It just caught me off guard is all. I haven’t been reminded of her in a while, and I didn’t expect something like this. I actually like it. I didn’t think it was possible to love our little girl any more than I already do, but every time I look at her I can almost feel my heart swell. I don’t even know how to put a name to it. I thought I would never love anyone as much as I love you, but her? I just…I can’t…there are no words. It’s amazing. How do you deal with this much love? What do you do with it all? How is it even possible to love this much?”
You could hear his voice rise a little with each question. Wait…is Dean…panicking? Oh my god he is.
You laughed a little as you leaned down to wrap him in your arms. You gave him a quick peck on the check before you told him, “Welcome to parenthood babe. It’s terrifying, exciting, amazing, wondrous, and downright overwhelming at times. You will love her more and more each day, too; that never stops. But you have me to lean on through it all, and I have you. We’ll get through this crazy new adventure together, and we also have Sammy and Cas, and hell, even Crowley adores her-”
“Wait, what? Crowley knows about my daughter?”
You looked at him sheepishly, feeling your face burn with a fierce blush of shame. “I wasn’t gonna tell you this, but Crowley stopped by a few months ago. He fell in love with her too. He was looking for me to do some research for him. He had a very hard time finding me due to the warding Cas put on us both, but he understood why we needed it; he promised not to drag us into anything though. I made him swear not to tell you either. I knew you had sent him. And Tessa. And a few others. So please don’t be mad at any of them…”
“I sent Tessa and Cas. No one else could actually get close to you. I never sent the king of hell to you. I wasn’t that despera-”
“Babe,” you interrupted him. “You sent a damn reaper after me to find out what you could. That was an interesting conversation to have at work. But the important thing is that you’re here now, and that’s what matters. And we’ll never have to be apart like this again.”
Dean grinned and when he looked at you, your heart melted. His eyes were shining and his smile reached from ear to ear. You had never been so happy in your life.
Once you had successfully cleaned Mary off you took her to get dressed while Dean loaded up the Impala. Cas had remembered to pack a small bag for you and Mary, and had even brought a bag for Dean full of clothes and toiletries. He’s so kind and thoughtful for an angel; not a dick like most of his siblings. Before Dean could come in to tell you he had finished packing the car, you had come outside with Mary ready to load her up and hit the road.
“You ready princess?” he asked you as you paused at the door of the car.
“Yeah. I just wish this all had happened under better circumstances…” you sniffled a little, all the events of the last 24 hours flooding your brain and body with emotions. Your heart ached for your best friend. You missed her so much. Mary’s cooing dragged you out of your thoughts and you slid in the front seat. Dean grabbed you and pulled you into his side.
“I know it hurts princess. I know how much she meant to you. But you gotta remember she went out the way she wanted to; protecting you and that precious little girl back there. It was clear as day that she loved you and Mary just as much as I do. Maybe even more, if that’s even possible. You gotta remember the good times and hold on to those memories as tight as possible. And you don’t ever have to feel like you can’t grieve in front of me. I will always be here for you and I will always support you. Whatever you need, I’m your man. I’ll always take care of you.”
You allowed yourself to cry then. You didn’t want to upset Mary so you just let Dean hold you tight as you clung to his shirt and silently sobbed into his chest. After a few minutes you were able to control yourself a little better and Dean released you after pressing a kiss to your forehead. You gave him a smile as Mary started babbling in the back.
“Let’s get this show on the road!”
Dean put Baby in drive and you and your little family were headed away from your house towards your home. As much as you loved the house Ellen and Ash found you, it had never felt like home. Not even with Tori there. You were thrilled to be able to go back to the bunker. Suddenly you had a thought.
“I know it’s a little out of the way, but could we stop in and visit Ellen and Bobby? They deserve to meet our little girl.”
Dean grinned like a fool in court. “I think that’s a wonderful idea. Should we call ahead or just surprise them?”
“I think it would be fun to surprise them both. I wanna see the looks on their faces!”
You both giggled at the thought of the shocked looks you would receive. Now you were even more excited.
“I’m so glad you took that hunt Dean.”
He smiled down at you after looking at his beautiful baby girl in the rearview. “Me too princess. Me too.”
