#uncle johnathan

[gbveryspecialguests]

Karavan: Here are your roles - From now on, you all must oblige to your duties whenever. We do not want any slackers on our new day in Karlsville~

Lex: Wait - Just a student? That's my only role??

Dr. D: I don't think I'm cut out with this one.

Johnathan: O...K?

Mr. Mason: Um...

Mrs. Morris: Hold on - I don't see any prices.. What are you actually planning, young man?!

Karavan: Me? Oh-nononononononono..... I have nothing against you all, lot.

I was planning to make my family proud.

[gbveryspecialguests]

Lex: WHAT THE HELL, MAN?! YOU CAN'T JUST KIDNAP PEOPLE AND TELL THEM WHO'S WAITING! I WANT ANSWERS - WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHAT IS THIS PLACE?!

Mrs. Morris: Lex - It's unreasonable to lash out at people like that....

But they are right - What the hell is going on?

???: O-oh! My mistake! I should introduce myself! My name is Geri - I'm a long-time resident and secretary to the mayor of Karlsville.

Dr. D: Karlsville? Isn't that the monster neighbortown with living plastic figures? I remembered Slappy and Storm bringing that to life once.

Uncle Johnathan: Yeah.... Then I heard the mayor went missing a couple of months later.

Geri: M-Mr. Knave's disappearance upsets up, yes - But his legacy still makes this town a wonderful place!

Lex: Hey - What's that?

Geri: ACK! I- I MEAN! T-t-that's our "Lucky Winner" placeholder, where the new mayor selects a citizen to give them a "grand prize!"

Mr. Mason: New Mayor?

Geri: It took us a while to decide, until we learned that he... He has a s-son.

Any questions you have will be answered to him for now....

Ahem...

(Reaches for the entrance and opens two metallic doors)

Allow me to introduce you all to -

Mayor Karavan Knave - Son of Karl Knave.

[rhetorical-ink]

Rhetorical Ink Reviews: The House with a Clock in Its Walls

**TICKING SPOILERS BELOW**

Okay, so I haven’t been to the movies in a while...basically since Deadpool 2 -- not for any particular reason, life has just been too busy for the theater.

So, when my 11-year-old cousin asked me to go to take her to the movies, I jumped at the chance to go see something. She requested The House with a Clock in Its Walls, and while I had no interest to see it, I agreed. On our way there, I asked:

“So have you read the book it’s based off of?”

Her: “No,” pause, “I really just wanted to go to the movies and get some popcorn.”

So here we were, two blind viewers, going into this movie I had no clue what it was about (having not even seen any trailers).

Having just sen it, let me tell you...

My Top Ten Thoughts on The House With a Clock in Its Walls:

10. The story starts out in the 1950′s as a boy is arriving on a Greyhound bus in Michigan, having just lost both of his parents in a car crash, to live with his Uncle Johnathan (played by Jack Black) in his creepy “haunted house-esque” mansion.

My cousin noted how the beginning felt very similar to A Series of Unfortunate Events -- I only know a little about that series, so I wasn’t sure.

9. From the get-go, there are magical elements introduced, rather quickly, to its audience. This movie is only an hour and 40 minutes, and unpacks a LOT in the opening 10 minutes. I suppose this makes sense, given how quickly we need to move the plot along.

However, we are instantly introduced to Florence (Cate Blanchett’s character), the enchanted nature of the house, and the fact that Jack Black is a Warlock, or magician. It feels a little rushed, as if the audience should already know about the magical world Jack Black’s Uncle Johnathan is a part of --

-- and I suddenly realize this is how people who have never read Harry Potter must feel like watching the movie adaptations...

8. While there are certainly a few comparisons to Harry Potter, the magic used here is much more...practical. Every spell has a specific way it is cast; there are no magic wands, but uses of telepathy, potions, and just sheer will power.

Even “blood magic,” which we will get into a little later is demonstrated here -- it is a much more “practical,” if you can believe it, interpretation of magic in this movie’s world -- and fantasy presented in a much more realistic fashion.

7. Speaking of which, this movie makes a lot of call backs to World War II; having taken place in the 1950′s, each character has a certain connection to the war -- the villain (who I will talk about later) is negatively impacted, and Cate Blanchett’s Florence, we learn, lost her family in the war as well (more on that below as well).

6. There are some cliche elements in the movie -- the idea of Lewis not knowing everything about a situation because he’s the child, Jack Black as the family relation who has no clue about how to be a parental figure, the mustache twirling villain -- all those are present.

However, this story does tackle the idea of being “weird” (a “Black Swan”) as it’s referred to in the film -- and how you can use your oddities to your advantage. I really liked how Lewis’s crutch at the start of the story actually becomes a needed tool in the end -- more on that later too.

5. So yeah, this movie has a lot of creepy imagery in it. The movie takes about 30 minutes to warm up, introduce you to the characters, and the world they reside in, but once you do, it grows on you.

Probably most endearing, oddly enough, are the creepy, kid-scary imagery. From a house of weird dolls, to a glass mosaic window that keeps changing images, to the moment we see the main villain in a neighbor’s window -- my cousin was near me most of the movie, about to grab my arm. At one point, she said, “This is creepy -- I mean, I like it, but it’s kind of creepy.” And I was in agreement!

4. Lewis, clearly the outcast at school, makes friends with the would-be class president, Tarby, who ends up completely doing a 180 on their friendship once he heals up and wins the class president nomination.

Lewis, meanwhile in the middle of all this, has been receiving dreams of his mother sitting beside him, seeming to help him along -- my cousin and I realized at one point that she is not a vision of Lewis’s dead mom, but actually an evil spirit -- who we find is related to the villain that comes back.

To get back on topic, though, Lewis decides, with the coaxing of his mother’s ghostly vision, to try and convince Tarby that magic is real -- by raising the dead.

Yes, he steals a book that his Uncle had locked up -- that upon opening reveals the “darkest magic” -- literally necromancy and raising the dead. With this, he ends up bringing his Uncle’s former friend and nemesis back to life -- using blood magic. Pentagrams and blood magic.

I looked up later and saw this children’s book was written in the 70′s.

Things started to make more sense, then.

3. So, the secret cameo in this movie threw me off guard so hard -- Kyle McClachlan from Twin Peaks -- friggin’ Twin Peaks -- is the villain! My mind was so blown -- he wasn’t bad as a villain; it’s just SO weird to see him outside of his role as Agent Cooper. It was distracting for me; I won’t lie.

2. The boy actor for Lewis was -- okay -- but the real show-stoppers were Cate Blanchett and Jack Black -- seriously, Blanchett just looks STUNNING as Florence here, and she does so many subtle notions and nuances that take her character to the next level.

There are so many tiny connections, such as when she serves Lewis tea, and we see a little tattoo on her arm that we realize is a number of a member of a concentration camp -- that help us the audience to connect further with the character...while still being subtle enough that a kid may or may not notice.

Still, though, Black and Blanchett make this movie worth the ticket price alone.

1. My cousin left the film saying, “It was creepy...but I liked it.”

I would agree -- it’s a bizarre film and reminds me a LOT of the 1980′s kids movies -- where they are simple in terms of plot, a little cliche, but also with creepy elements throughout! It’s not a bad thing -- I do want to read the book now, so I can see what was left out or altered from the original!

So, if you liked 1980′s kids films, or you want to take your pre-teen to a creepy film that works with a Halloween theme, this may just do the trick!

P.S. At one point Jack Black is a giant baby-head with a baby body and it was the CREEPIEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN!

That is all.