The first thing that is important is to be sure you are a woman. Men do not usually have babies. Sorry gentlemen, go start on some hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and come see us again in a few months. If you aren't sure if you're female, the first step is to look inside your underdrawers. I don't know what the females see when they do, but I hear it's frightening. (I imagine its gremlins.)
If you look into your underdrawers and are frightened, you might be female.
If you still can't tell. I would ask your mom. Moms generally know. They can sense these things. You will be able to sense them soon too. Because soon, you will also be a mom. Albeit, a better mom than your mom could ever be because I am here for you.
(You can thank me later, we've got baby-having to get to.)
You've looked in your underdrawers and were only half-frightened. You asked your mom and she doesn't know. (You may want to double check that she's your real mother.) Are you out of options? Hardly!
One of the surest tests is the bathroom test. I'm sure you've all seen a typical American toilet: they are the ones that look like a seat for you to sit on, not to be confused with the more traditional squat toilets that look like a torture device. Have you ever sat upon a toilet while using the restroom? Think back. If so, you are a female.
So you think you're female, or you don't know and you're going to chance it. Great! Now what? We'll get to that, but first I want to take a moment to talk to the men out there.
Guys, I want you to know I'm not being sexist. Nature is being sexist. I think men should be able to have babies if they want, just as much as women. I would suggest writing a letter to nature and explain that you're dissatisfied with the “status quo” and want real change. Until that change comes, I would suggest staging peaceful protests, or trying to get pregnant anyway. Give it the old college try! Who knows? Maybe you'll be first male to break the glass ceiling on pregnancy.