#undones

[budzaya]

#Touch #Goddess #Unsaid #Unsaids #Undone #Undones #Writing #Prose #Thoughts #Feelings #Art #FoodForThought https://www.instagram.com/p/CWv92jzLK4K/?utm_medium=tumblr

[doomdays-a]

“you must be hungry.“  /  @undones​​.

❝  nah,  i’m fine.  ❞  maybe he is hungry,  but it’s the last thing on his mind,  thoughts too clouded with the stress of how things are going to turn out for him this year.  he’s never been more uncertain,  never felt less prepared  ----  and cam knows him too well to not see it written all over him.  he knows that,  and he’s tried to prepare himself to see them after practice,  as if he was ever going to be able to pretend everything was fine,  but he can’t.  not around them.  because cam has always made jordan feel at peace,  and they’re exactly the place he wants to turn to now,  even if it’s hard to process what feels like his senior year falling apart before it hardly even begins.

❝  you didn’t have to wait for me after practice.   thought you’d be long gone by now----  ❞   his head falls and shakes,  remembering the way coach had looked directly at him as if he was guilty when she warned the team there would be no personal audience  (  just another reason for him to miss his father  ---  he was always so welcome to cam,  always seemed to see what the confidence boost they gave jordan.  )   ❝  are you?  ❞   it’s mostly a deflection,  an attempt to move away from practice and onto whatever they have planned.  ❝  ---  we can go somewhere. ❞  

[buildhope]

@undones​​,  s10.   /   ❝  it’s healing,  doc,  ❞   he insists,  nodding down to the bandaged wound on his arm.  it’s been about a week since the conclusion of a seemingly never-ending war,  but it feels much longer for alden  ---  he’s desperate to get back to their home,  back to rebuilding,  back to focusing on what drives him:  hope.  and they all have it now,  like the sun is shining for the first time in a very long time,  but he’s afraid that will only last so long.  the people have hilltop can’t keep crowding the alexandrians;  they all want to get back to their homes,  and alden desperately wants to give them that.  

he’s channeling his inner-earl,  without even realizing it.  earl would be just as grumpy,  just as determined to push himself past his limits to get back to work,  because it’s all he knew. 

and the wound from a whisperer that spans across his upper arm still makes him feel weak,  but he’s conditioned himself to believe that it’s no longer something to worry about.  he needs to get back to work,  needs to find something to do with his hands,  needs to start building and stop just thinking about it and drawing  (  too many sketches line the floor of aaron’s home,  some hopeful and some failures,  but it’s all he can focus on  ---  earl’s gone,  hilltop’s gone,  he has to move forward.  )  

❝  i need to go back to hilltop. ❞   it’s not a question of whether or not alex thinks he’s ready,  it’s a statement  ---  he can’t sit here any longer.  ❝  need to get you back to your home,  get everyone back there.  it’s  ----  it’s my son’s home. ❞   and those words still taste strange;  maybe,  in some way,  adam was always his son,  but now,  it really is up to him to take care of him.  and alden and earl were determined to make hilltop the best place for adam,  so alden doesn’t want him to have to wait any longer to get back to it.   ❝  i know people are countin’ on me  ---  y’might not say it out loud,  but i know it.   i wanna come through.  ❞ 

[moonexile]

🌑   @undones​​  ╱    ❝  are you gonna be alright?  i can stay with you!  ❞  realistically,  he doesn’t know what that actually means.  this wasn’t a mission;  luther and his siblings had snuck out for late night doughnuts  ---   after hours of begging luther to join  ----  but this made it feel worth it.  it no longer felt like he was breaking any rules or that he was defying his father.  it felt like he was doing what he was supposed to do:  save people’s lives.   and without the notion of a mission,  he’s not actually sure how this part works  ---  the aftermath,  the caring past the saving,  but he wants to.   ❝  i just want to make sure you’re okay.   it’s my job.  ❞

[warpainte-aa]

@undones: what’s wrong with you?

“ shouldn’t you be able to figure that out? you know, since you think you know so much about me. ”  he was never wrong about what he accused her of, but the fact that he said anything about it still makes her mad, even weeks later. the muscles in mikayla’s jaw tighten as she forces herself to steady her breath, to calm herself —  it doesn’t work, because the metal of the railing she’s gripping crumples beneath her hands, indents of her fingers made into the steel.   “ it doesn’t matter. ”

[armsdealing]

“Stop tryin’ to traumatize the kid.” / @undones

[wanlidas-archive]

her hand swirls the tea in her mug,  eyes focused on that rather than on him.  when pete invited her here,  she wasn’t sure she should come  —-  not because she didn’t want to see them again,  but because she wasn’t sure if she was ready to face people yet.  still,  it’s easier than going home,  having spent the last few nights sleeping in her office.  even that didn’t feel like a safe place to go,  all ruined with the stench of betrayal and of mourning,  because the place isn’t what her dreams were supposed to be.  and yet,  it’s nothing without rick,  either.  her grief feels so complicated,  part of her still so angry with him,  another part of her only missing him more,  wishing his daughter would have gotten to meet him.

and then there’s the fact that she can’t look at herself in the mirror,  either,  because even if it was her right to do what she did,  even if it was to protect someone else she loves,  even if she knows it was the right thing to do,  she can’t help but to look at it in the simplest,  most devastating way:  she killed someone.

she breaks the silence,  looking for a way to comfort herself,   to move forward.  miguel seems like a good place to start with that  ——  he’s someone she can see being a real friend,  and it seems she needs that more than anything right now.  ❝  how long have you known pete?  ❞  she can only assume they’ve been partners for a long time,  based on the way she’s seen them interact,  how well they work together,  what a force they seem to be side by side.  and she’s lucky for it,  owing her life to the risks they took in order to stop joe,  the same for his younger sister.

           @undones​.