if i had a buck for every time someone i was involved with started seeing a girl ten years younger than them and forgot about me completely i would have.. a toonie, hashtag canadian, which isn't a lot but enough to maybe get a vending machine pop with where i'd crack it take a swig like a run ragged detective taking a shot of whiskey and go "mannnnnnnnnnn. that was kind of fucked up wasn't it"
i was furious the first time it happened but this time it's funny trivia and i'm relieved to have my time back. i did a paint by numbers yesterday while drinking wine and listening to podcasts, texted some friends and made new plans. today i'm going to cook a good dinner, and either do the second part of the painting project or build a lego botanical. i also grabbed some stuff for paper crafts again because i was to try making bad collages like i used to
my nervous system is regulated. i am well rested and well fed and have time for my leisure activities and creative hobbies and friends. i dont think i feel like giving this up for the sake of dating for the next while
