I forgot what it was like to be so livid, I just go deathly silent for a couple of hours. I am old enough to know to walk away when it is made clear, that I am not valued.

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I forgot what it was like to be so livid, I just go deathly silent for a couple of hours. I am old enough to know to walk away when it is made clear, that I am not valued.
just a piece of a poem
a jigsaw girl in a moonlight night the noise of the zikaden right a little rush and no more fights my heart is wide to feel the lights
I’m having so many mixed emotions this week. I’ve love being my job because I felt needed, that I was making an impact, I was contributing, I was seeing student and staff development and successes. It was fulfilling. Now I feeling I have nothing to contribute. I’m fearful. I worried about people judging me because I want to take care of my health first. It’s all innertermoil which is slowly churning the anxiety and trauma of my PTSD. Im feeling not good enough and I’m not sure what I can do to not feel this way. I guess if I lived closer to the community I work in I would be more available. If I didn’t have horrible asthma this year I wouldn’t be scared to be in public and volunteer my services more. If I didn’t have someone living at my home that is considered a “higher risk” and I only had to worry about my health, I would be less fearful.
Unfulfilled
The back of Jeff Bezos head looks like an ass in South Park. Did Trey design it this way on purpose?
*Scrolling through my 900 likes specifically looking for something*
“I know it’s here somewhere”
*scrolled through 200*
“There’s no way I unliked it”
*Got to the part in my likes where I first started liking from this particular fandom*
“Shit, I actually got rid of it, dammit.”
*5 minutes later, go back through and double check*
“What the hell was I thinking?!?!”
*About an hour later, scrolling through likes trying to purposely unlike things*
*Scroll through about 20 things, see the thing I was looking for before...*
“Fuck! That’s what I get for doing this a 1am”
#Repost @efkamasakra with @repostapp ・・・ Pop Art Blondie w @bladeville @iloverolki.pl @powerslidebrand #beamodel #unfullfilled #model #iloverolki #wrotki #bladeville #getthemnow #available #smile #brunette #viprosports
What am I even doing ?