It’s these rainy days that make me wonder if you are doing okay. It’s the cold that touches my skin and makes me realise how you had kept me so warm, even on the coldest of nights. I question whether if you miss me but I guess not because it’s been forever and to be honest, I’ve stopped too but some nights like these, it hits me all over again that yes you’re gone. I often count the raindrops that touch my window and wonder if I had shed more tears than the sky is crying tonight. I ask if the sky’s heart has also been torn into two that’s why it cannot stop screaming and howling. I wonder who broke her heart that she split into showers, maybe I became like that too but I hadn’t seen it within me but others did, not realising my sadness also drowns them too. I wonder if my heart is fixed but how do you fix something that’s always been broken? I stare at myself in the mirror and wonder if my eyes are tired of carrying the hurt and pain it has seen, or if my hands have become weary to the trauma life has caused. It’s nights like these where I also wish, these raindrops wash every single memory away from the colour of your eyes to the stains you have left on my soul but the thought of that scares me away too.
