unstabledefense replied to your post: unstabledefense replied to your post: “you can...
YOU’RE KILLING ME SENPAI PLEASE ST O P ;___;
dont call me senpai omg...
yea it was. hard for me to accept at first. so instead of getting hung up over the fact that they will die, instead, i choose to think about how they'll die. will levi get in a dying speech? or will he die as suddenly as petra ral? will erwin go out with a bang? or in some hopeless place where no one knows where he is? will zoe be able to dispatch the information to armin? or will she die taking the secrets of the titans to the grave? will they end in bloodlusting frenzies or in quiet passing?
Vast plains, expanded, veins of ice, of fire, of sand, and of snow. Traversed their weathered canvas with abundance, this world belonged solely to those who shaped it; not the human’s who had once ravaged her kindness, nor the lumbering husks which kept such tyrants at bay. Every motion was a push, every decision was a pull. To kill, one must suffer, and it seemed only recently (a century was but a blink to the azure habitat) that their haughty dominion came to meet the error of their ways.
Among the many, resided the few, and amidst them, the curious. Shocking, really, how the stagnated scholars were forced to live with vibrant eyes closed, and for what? To learn the lesser of their many evils?
What sins had their ancestors committed made impossible to atone, that those with rivalling ambitions must be forced to reside in the dark.
Better that than beneath a tomb, he supposed.
— I thought you’d forgotten.
Heresy is defined as any belief or theory that is strongly at variance with established beliefs or customs. In how he viewed his crumbling world, his faith was unmoved from those he dwelled amongst. Everyone had seemingly abandoned all practiced religion (there were more previously, literature assured him so), but his heathenism strayed from that particularly travelled path. The strategist dared to dream, and for such, he was shunned for an open heart.
This weight might have proved overbearing, intolerable, if it weren’t for his fast and few. Eren Jaeger, Mikasa Ackerman. When his legs gave way and folded, their design, complex, interwoven, complete, bid him to stand.
I hate you.
Oceanic optics stilled, but a fair mouth went slack.
Outside.
We’ll see it together.
"— Eren…" He could scarcely trace the sound himself, so weak against his tongue; any louder, and that may prove permission for the ring of tears beginning to form about his lower lash line. "— There’s no way you can mean that."
”… What about seeing the outside?”
With his tone, fell his eyes, for lingering contact with the piercing emerald stare given in return — such contempt, had he missed it all along?
He had to talk. Vocabulary was all he had left.
"Remember — You remember, don’t you?" Breathe. “All those hours we spent hidden away… We shouldn’t have kept the book, I know that, but — what else was supposed to give us hope? What else did we have?”
I h a t e you.
"Frozen earth, sparkling seas! Every last wonder is out there for us, Eren, we can’t give up! I won’t let you! I won’t— I won’t—”
Rivulets skated over his apple cheeks. No use in drowning them, they tore at his throat, strangled what meagre tone he had left. Still, to look at him meant distance. Friendship fading, no — a bond destroyed.
"Just tell me what I did.” Please, breathe. “— joining the Survey Corps was to keep us together, I couldn’t let my only family carry on without me. Not again. Not ever again.”
"— I’m sorry. I’m sorry for whatever I’ve done…”
“—… Please don’t forget our dreams. Think about your mother. Think about what you set out to do — Mikasa, and you, and me. We have to do it together — please.”
He stands in front of the headstone; its breezy outside, but sunny at the same time. Just the type of weather when they got into that really bad fight and ended up kicking the shit out of each other. He couldn't help but remember how bruised they were-- and the apology they'd both wanted to give but never said, rather just began playfully messing with each other the next day.
Eren kicks at the grass and shifts his weight, shoving his hands deeper into his jean pockets, scowling hard down at the name written across the stone; "JEAN KIRSCHTIEN". It's absolutely pathetic; after all, even though Jean was an asshole and an emotional wreck, he was physically quite skilled. Definitely more skilled than Eren in fighting and standing up for himself and others.. It disgusted him. How could someone with so much talent just let themselves die like that? He shook his head in pity, looking high above the headstone as the sun shone through the tree above him; a light breeze picking up as it did so.
He feels betrayed; he feels alone, scared, and helpless.
He feels unaccomplished,
he's pissed.
His fists clench up really tight inside of his pockets, grasping at the soft, innocent cotton fabric with all of his might. If he had it his way, he'd use that fist to punch that asshole square in the face right now. How could he just leave all of them like that? How could he give up after all he'd fought for? It.. it just wasn't fair. He needed him there, he needed his big brother...
Warm streaks of emotion soaked his green, sleepless eyes, seaming down from their ends to the middle of his cheeks and falling off daintily to hit the top of his jacket. What an asshole.. what a jackass.. what.. what could ever possess him to just abandon him like that? He needed him more than anything, and he just left without even a single goodbye.
"How could... how could you just abandon us like that?"
" ... How could you abandon me like that?!"
His tone is fiery and filled to the brim with anger, scorching eyes tightly closing shut as his fists clench harder.. and harder. Every bit of pain he feels-- it's like a prick of a needle making him bleed all throughout. His heart is aching, his mind is seething, he wants to hurt him.
But then..
he falls.
His knees shake and weaken, giving out to the soft, greenery around him. Fists still clenching, eyes still crying; he beings to sob. He cries out, voice shaking, mind pounding, choking on his anger, sadness, and pain.
"Why weren't you there.. when I needed you?"
He'd be lying if he said that he understood what was going on. The last time he checked, he was dead. It was an accident, really. It wasn't supposed to happen--heck, he wasn't even supposed to be there to begin with. But Jeannie was never good at obeying orders, especially when he had different beliefs. Levi has always said it would be the death of him, but at the time, he had no idea how true that was. It was supposed to be a saying, not a prediction.
It all started off when Jeannie was encountered by Bertholdt, one of Annie's personal goons. stalked him into the alleys and told him to meet him at a certain location and a kick to the stomach for good time's sake. And as if he could annoy a summons like that. If it wasn't for his sake, it was for Marco's. Whatever Annie wanted with him, he was going to deal with it upfront.
Naturally, he kept this meeting a secret from Levi and the others. Knowing the Boss, he would have told him not to go, and even if that was the case, he'd be damned if he listened. So later on that week, he went to the meeting place.
Needless to say, it did not end well. Though it wasn't by Annie's hand that ended him. As it turned out, the blonde was simply returning the umbrella Marco had given her way back in middle school, after finally putting two and two together. But it seemed like someone who had a grudge against Annie and her gang had followed.
Long story short, someone tried to burn the place down and Jeannie had died trying to drag Reiner out after he was knocked unconscious by a fallen pillar. Jean was later rushed to the hospital as soon as the paramedics and fire department came, Annie and gang long gone.
Gang Forty Two lost one of their men that night--a part of their family. It was a tragic, but heroic death. And how ironic was it that the one person who did not believe in heroes died in such a tragic yet courageous way?
"Hey, jackass."
The words stirs the male, eyes slowly blinking open. Though it was a strange sensation. Blinking past the bright light, his vision soon cleared and he found himself staring face to face with no one other than Eren. He knew he recognized that voice. "What was that, you little shit?" The response seemed too familiar, too nostalgic. Typical that they would instantly start arguing.
However, Jeannie is a bit off-put that he did not seem to respond to him, as if he had not spoken at all. "Eren?" Confusion filled his tone this time, pressing forward once more. Again, he doesn't respond. Brows pinched together, a shaky hand reaches out, only to pass through the other's head. Gasping, the spirit stumbles back in surprise before staring down at his hand. Well, shit.
"How could... how could you just abandon us like that?"
" ... How could you abandon me like that?!"
Jeannie's eyes lift at the accusation, jaw tightening in annoyance. Did he honestly think that he wanted to leave the way that he did? Anger sparks like a flame and he wants to punch him in the face. Damn it, if he could he would! Though seeing the hot tears in his eyes and the pained expression, his brows pinch together and he takes a useless step forward. And even though he could not feel him, he hovers a hand over his shoulder. "... Oi."
"Why weren't you there.. when I needed you?"
Pulling back at the spoken words, amber sights widen before his arm falls at his side once more. Head hanging forward, he allowed a looming shadow to cast over his features. ".. You really are stupid, aren't you, Eren?" There was fire in his eyes, and he looked so alive for a dead person as he pumped his arm before him, hand making a fist.
"I'm right here, you lil' shit and I'm not going anywhere. Remember that or I will beat you down when you join me!"
Eren paused, the pain and grief subsiding for a moment before his eyes lifted. A dumb-founded expression crossed his features, lips parting slightly agape. "Jean?" His name leaves his lips, eyes narrowing and focusing. He swore he heard his words ringing in his ears. Eyes widened in dumb-found stupor at the sight before him.
Maybe it was a trick of the light, but he swore for a moment that he saw Jean grinning at him, as if giving him some kind of encouragement. And even though the pain is still fresh in his heart, he clicked his heels together, tucking one arm behind his back and the other at the middle of his chest, wrist curling in. A stupid salute they all picked up to mock Levi, but it had become a thing around them.
